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AN EPISODE OF FIDDLETOWN





In 1858 Fiddletown considered her a very pretty woman。  She had a

quantity of light chestnut hair; a good figure; a dazzling

complexion; and a certain languid grace which passed easily for

gentle…womanliness。  She always dressed becomingly; and in what

Fiddletown accepted as the latest fashion。  She had only two

blemishes: one of her velvety eyes; when examined closely; had a

slight cast; and her left cheek bore a small scar left by a single

drop of vitriol happily the only drop of an entire phialthrown

upon her by one of her own jealous sex; that reached the pretty

face it was intended to mar。  But when the observer had studied the

eyes sufficiently to notice this defect; he was generally

incapacitated for criticism; and even the scar on her cheek was

thought by some to add piquancy to her smile。  The youthful editor

of THE FIDDLETOWN AVALANCHE had said privately that it was 〃an

exaggerated dimple。〃  Colonel Starbottle was instantly 〃reminded of

the beautifying patches of the days of Queen Anne; but more

particularly; sir; of the blankest beautiful women that; blank you;

you ever laid your two blank eyes upona Creole woman; sir; in New

Orleans。  And this woman had a scara line extending; blank me;

from her eye to her blank chin。  And this woman; sir; thrilled you;

sir; maddened you; sir; absolutely sent your blank soul to

perdition with her blank fascination!  And one day I said to her;

'Celeste; how in blank did you come by that beautiful scar; blank

you?'  And she said to me; 'Star; there isn't another white man

that I'd confide in but you; but I made that scar myself;

purposely; I did; blank me。'  These were her very words; sir; and

perhaps you think it a blank lie; sir; but I'll put up any blank

sum you can name and prove it; blank me。〃



Indeed; most of the male population of Fiddletown were or had been

in love with her。  Of this number; about one…half believed that

their love was returned; with the exception; possibly; of her own

husband。  He alone had been known to express skepticism。



The name of the gentleman who enjoyed this infelicitous distinction

was Tretherick。  He had been divorced from an excellent wife to

marry this Fiddletown enchantress。  She; also; had been divorced;

but it was hinted that some previous experiences of hers in that

legal formality had made it perhaps less novel; and probably less

sacrificial。  I would not have it inferred from this that she was

deficient in sentiment; or devoid of its highest moral expression。

Her intimate friend had written (on the occasion of her second

divorce); 〃The cold world does not understand Clara yet〃; and

Colonel Starbottle had remarked blankly that with the exception of

a single woman in Opelousas Parish; La。; she had more soul than the

whole caboodle of them put together。  Few indeed could read those

lines entitled 〃Infelissimus;〃 commencing 〃Why waves no cypress

o'er this brow?〃 originally published in the AVALANCHE; over the

signature of 〃The Lady Clare;〃 without feeling the tear of

sensibility tremble on his eyelids; or the glow of virtuous

indignation mantle his cheek; at the low brutality and pitiable

jocularity of THE DUTCH FLAT INTELLIGENCER; which the next week had

suggested the exotic character of the cypress; and its entire

absence from Fiddletown; as a reasonable answer to the query。



Indeed; it was this tendency to elaborate her feelings in a

metrical manner; and deliver them to the cold world through the

medium of the newspapers; that first attracted the attention of

Tretherick。  Several poems descriptive of the effects of California

scenery upon a too…sensitive soul; and of the vague yearnings for

the infinite which an enforced study of the heartlessness of

California society produced in the poetic breast; impressed Mr。

Tretherick; who was then driving a six…mule freight wagon between

Knight's Ferry and Stockton; to seek out the unknown poetess。  Mr。

Tretherick was himself dimly conscious of a certain hidden

sentiment in his own nature; and it is possible that some

reflections on the vanity of his pursuithe supplied several

mining camps with whisky and tobaccoin conjunction with the

dreariness of the dusty plain on which he habitually drove; may

have touched some chord in sympathy with this sensitive woman。

Howbeit; after a brief courtshipas brief as was consistent with

some previous legal formalitiesthey were married; and Mr。

Tretherick brought his blushing bride to Fiddletown; or

〃Fideletown;〃 as Mrs。 Tretherick preferred to call it in her poems。



The union was not a felicitous one。  It was not long before Mr。

Tretherick discovered that the sentiment he had fostered while

freighting between Stockton and Knight's Ferry was different from

that which his wife had evolved from the contemplation of

California scenery and her own soul。  Being a man of imperfect

logic; this caused him to beat her; and she; being equally faulty

in deduction; was impelled to a certain degree of unfaithfulness on

the same premise。  Then Mr。 Tretherick began to drink; and Mrs。

Tretherick to contribute regularly to the columns of the AVALANCHE。

It was at this time that Colonel Starbottle discovered a similarity

in Mrs。 Tretherick's verse to the genius of Sappho; and pointed it

out to the citizens of Fiddletown in a two…columned criticism;

signed 〃A。 S。;〃 also published in the AVALANCHE; and supported by

extensive quotation。  As the AVALANCHE did not possess a font of

Greek type; the editor was obliged to reproduce the Leucadian

numbers in the ordinary Roman letter; to the intense disgust of

Colonel Starbottle; and the vast delight of Fiddletown; who saw fit

to accept the text as an excellent imitation of Choctawa language

with which the colonel; as a whilom resident of the Indian

Territories; was supposed to be familiar。  Indeed; the next week's

INTELLIGENCER contained some vile doggerel supposed to be an answer

to Mrs。 Tretherick's poem; ostensibly written by the wife of a

Digger Indian chief; accompanied by a glowing eulogium signed 〃A。

S。 S。〃



The result of this jocularity was briefly given in a later copy of

the AVALANCHE。  〃An unfortunate rencounter took place on Monday

last; between the Hon。 Jackson Flash of THE DUTCH FLAT

INTELLIGENCER and the well…known Col。 Starbottle of this place; in

front of the Eureka Saloon。  Two shots were fired by the parties

without injury to either; although it is said that a passing

Chinaman received fifteen buckshot in the calves of his legs from

the colonel's double…barreled shotgun; which were not intended for

him。  John will learn to keep out of the way of Melican man's

firearms hereafter。  The cause of the affray is not known; although

it is hinted that there is a lady in the case。  The rumor that

points to a well…known and beautiful poetess whose lucubrations

have often graced our columns seems to gain credence from those

that are posted。〃



Meanwhile the passiveness displayed by Tretherick under these

trying circumstances was fully appreciated in the gulches。  〃The

old man's head is level;〃 said one long…booted philosopher。  〃Ef

the colonel kills Flash; Mrs。 Tretherick is avenged: if Flash drops

the colonel; Tretherick is all right。  Either way; he's got a sure

thing。〃  During this delicate condition of affairs; Mrs。 Tretherick

one day left her husband's home and took refuge at the Fiddletown

Hotel; with only the clothes she had on her back。  Here she staid

for several weeks; during which period it is only justice to say

that she bore herself with the strictest propriety。



It was a clear morning in early spring that Mrs。 Tretherick;

unattended; left the hotel; and walked down the narrow street

toward the fringe of dark pines which indicated the extreme limits

of Fiddletown。  The few loungers at that early hour were

preoccupied with the departure of the Wingdown coach at the other

extremity of the street; and Mrs。 Tretherick reached the suburbs of

the settlement without discomposing observation。  Here she took a

cross street or road; running at right angles with the main

thoroughfare of Fiddletown and passing through a belt of woodland。

It was evidently the exclusive and aristocratic avenue of the town。

The dwellings were few; ambitious; and uninterrupted by shops。  And

here she was joined by Colonel Starbottle。



The gallant colonel; notwithstanding that he bore the swelling port

which usually distinguished him; that his coat was tightly buttoned

and his boots tightly fitting; and that his cane; hooked over his

arm; swung jauntily; was not entirely at his ease。  Mrs。

Tretherick; however; vouchsafed him a gracious smile and a glance

of her dangerous eyes; and the colonel; with an embarrassed cough

and a slight strut; took his place at her side。



〃The coast is clear;〃 said the colonel; 〃and Tretherick is over at

Dutch Flat on a spree。  There is no one in the house but

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