new burlesques(新讽刺诗)-第19节
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rather soft…spoken and amiable？ But of course you don't understand
THAT。 I bought it after she moved into her new bungalow。〃
〃But why should I tell her that？〃 I asked in wonder。
〃Nothingexcept that I find it very amusing with its reminiscences of
the company she used to entertain； and her confidences generally。 Good…
bytake care of the lion in the hall。 He always couches on the left for a
spring。 Ta…ta！〃
I hurried away。 When I returned to Simla I told Mrs。 Awksby of my
discoveries； and spoke of the armchair。
I fancied she colored slightly； but quickly recovered。
〃Dear old Sparkley；〃 she said sweetly； 〃he WAS a champion liar！〃
II。
A PRIVATE'S HONOR
I had not seen Mulledwiney for several days。 Knowing the man
this looked bad。 So I dropped in on the Colonel。 I found him in deep
thought。 This looked bad； too； for old Cockey Waxas he was known to
everybody in the Hill districts but himselfwasn't given to thinking。 I
guessed the cause and told him so。
〃Yes；〃 he said wearily； 〃you are right！ It's the old story。 Mulledwiney；
Bleareyed； and Otherwise are at it again；drink followed by Clink。 Even
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now two corporals and a private are sitting on Mulledwiney's head to keep
him quiet； and Bleareyed is chained to an elephant。〃
〃Perhaps；〃 I suggested； 〃you are unnecessarily severe。〃
〃Do you really think so？ Thank you so much！ I am always glad to
have a civilian's opinion on military mattersand vice versait broadens
one so！ And yetam I severe？ I am willing； for instance； to overlook
their raid upon a native village； and the ransom they demanded for a native
inspector！ I have overlooked their taking the horses out of my carriage
for their own use。 I am content also to believe that my fowls meekly
succumb to jungle fever and cholera。 But there are some things I cannot
ignore。 The carrying off of the great god Vishnu from the Sacred Shrine
at Ducidbad by The Three for the sake of the priceless opals in its eyes〃
〃But I never heard of THAT；〃 I interrupted eagerly。 〃Tell me。〃
〃Ah！〃 said the Colonel playfully； 〃thatas you so often and so
amusingly sayis 'Another Story'！ Yet I would have overlooked the theft
of the opals if they had not substituted two of the Queen's regimental
buttons for the eyes of the god。 This； while it did not deceive the
ignorant priests； had a deep political and racial significance。 You are
aware； of course； that the great mutiny was occasioned by the issue of
cartridges to the native troops greased with hog's fatforbidden by their
religion。〃
〃But these three men could themselves alone quell a mutiny；〃 I replied。
The Colonel grasped my hand warmly。 〃Thank you。 So they could。
I never thought of that。〃 He looked relieved。 For all that； he presently
passed his hand over his forehead and nervously chewed his cheroot。
〃There is something else；〃 I said。
〃You are right。 There is。 It is a secret。 Promise me it shall go no
furtherthan the Press？ Nay； swear that you will KEEP it for the Press！〃
〃I promise。〃
〃Thank you SO much。 It is a matter of my own and Mulledwiney's。
The fact is； we have had a PERSONAL difficulty。〃 He paused； glanced
around him； and continued in a low； agitated voice： 〃Yesterday I came
upon him as he was sitting leaning against the barrack wall。 In a spirit of
playfulnessmere playfulness； I assure you； sirI poked him lightly in the
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shoulder with my stick； saying 'Boo！' He turnedand I shall never forget
the look he gave me。〃
〃Good heavens！〃 I gasped； 〃you touchedabsolutely TOUCHED
Mulledwiney？〃
〃Yes；〃 he said hurriedly； 〃I knew what you would say； it was against
the Queen's Regulationsandthere was his sensitive nature which
shrinks from even a harsh word； but I did it； and of course he has me in his
power。〃
〃And you have touched him？〃 I repeated；〃touched his private
honor！〃
〃Yes！ But I shall atone for it！ I have already arranged with him that
we shall have it out between ourselves alone； in the jungle； stripped to the
buff； with our fistsQueensberry rules！ I haven't fought since I stood up
against Spinks Majoryou remember old Spinks； now of the Bombay
Offensibles？at Eton。〃 And the old boy pluckily bared his skinny arm。
〃It may be serious；〃 I said。
〃I have thought of that。 I have a wife； several children； and an aged
parent in England。 If I fall； they must never know。 You must invent a
story for them。 I have thought of cholera； but that is played out； you
know we have already tried it on The Boy who was Thrown Away。
Invent something quiet； peaceable and respectableas far removed from
fighting as possible。 What do you say to measles？〃
〃Not half bad；〃 I returned。
〃Measles let it be； then！ Say I caught it from Wee Willie Winkie。 You
do not think it too incredible？〃 he added timidly。
〃Not more than YOUR story；〃 I said。
He grasped my hand； struggling violently with his emotion。 Then he
struggled with meand I left hurriedly。 Poor old boy！ The funeral was
well attended； however； and no one knew the truth； not even myself。
III
JUNGLE FOLK
It was high noon of a warm summer's day when Moo Kow came
down to the watering…place。 Miaow； otherwise known as 〃Puskat〃the
warmth…loving onewas crouching on a limb that overhung the pool；
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sunning herself。 Brer Rabbitbut that is Another Story by Another
Person。
Three or four Gee Gees； already at the pool； moved away on the
approach of Moo Kow。
〃Why do ye stand aside？〃 said the Moo Kow。
〃Why do you say 'ye'？〃 said the Gee Gees together。
〃Because it's more impressive than 'you。' Don't you know that all
animals talk that way in English？〃 said the Moo Kow。
〃And they also say 'thou；' and don't you forget it！〃 interrupted Miaow
from the tree。 〃I learnt that from a Man Cub。〃
The animals were silent。 They did not like Miaow's slang； and were
jealous of her occasionally sitting on a Man Cub's lap。 Once Dun… kee； a
poor relation of the Gee Gees； had tried it on； disastrouslybut that is also
Another and a more Aged Story。
〃We are ridden by The Englishplease to observe the Capital letters；〃
said Pi Bol； the leader of the Gee Gees； proudly。 〃They are a mighty race
who ride anything and everybody。 D'ye mind that I mean； look ye well
to it！〃
〃What should they know of England who only England know？〃 said
Miaow。
〃Is that a conundrum？〃 asked the Moo Kow。
〃No； it's poetry；〃 said the Miaow。
〃I know England；〃 said Pi Bol prancingly。 〃I used to go from the
Bank to Islington three times a dayI mean；〃 he added hurriedly； 〃before I
became a screwI should say； a screw…gun horse。〃
〃And I；〃 said the Moo Kow； 〃am terrible。 When the young women
and children in the village see me approach they fly shriekingly。 My
presence alone has scattered their sacred festivalThe Sundes Kool Piknik。
I strike terror to their inmost souls； and am more feared by them than even
Kreep…mows； the insidious！ And yet； behold！ I have taken the place of
the mothers of men； and I have nourished the mighty ones of the earth！
But that；〃 said the Moo Kow； turning her head aside bashfully； 〃that is
Anudder Story。〃
A dead silence fell on the pool。
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〃And I；〃 said Miaow； lifting up her voice； 〃I am the horror and
