the jacket (the star-rover)-第63节

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were　worshipping　Bodhisatwa。



Truly；　the　worships　of　the　Mystery　wandered　as　did　men；　and　between

filchings　and　borrowings　the　gods　had　as　vagabond　a　time　of　it　as

did　we。　　As　the　Sumerians　took　the　loan　of　Shamashnapishtin　from　us；

so　did　the　Sons　of　Shem　take　him　from　the　Sumerians　and　call　him

Noah。



Why；　I　smile　me　to…day；　Darrell　Standing；　in　Murderers'　Row；　in　that

I　was　found　guilty　and　awarded　death　by　twelve　jurymen　staunch　and

true。　　Twelve　has　ever　been　a　magic　number　of　the　Mystery。　　Nor　did

it　originate　with　the　twelve　tribes　of　Israel。　　Star…gazers　before

them　had　placed　the　twelve　signs　of　the　Zodiac　in　the　sky。　　And　I

remember　me；　when　I　was　of　the　Assir；　and　of　the　Vanir；　that　Odin

sat　in　judgment　over　men　in　the　court　of　the　twelve　gods；　and　that

their　names　were　Thor；　Baldur；　Niord；　Frey；　Tyr；　Bregi；　Heimdal；

Hoder；　Vidar；　Ull；　Forseti；　and　Loki。



Even　our　Valkyries　were　stolen　from　us　and　made　into　angels；　and　the

wings　of　the　Valkyries'　horses　became　attached　to　the　shoulders　of

the　angels。　　And　our　Helheim　of　that　day　of　ice　and　frost　has　become

the　hell　of　to…day；　which　is　so　hot　an　abode　that　the　blood　boils　in

one's　veins；　while　with　us；　in　our　Helheim；　the　place　was　so　cold　as

to　freeze　the　marrow　inside　the　bones。　　And　the　very　sky；　that　we

dreamed　enduring；　eternal；　has　drifted　and　veered；　so　that　we　find

to…day　the　scorpion　in　the　place　where　of　old　we　knew　the　goat；　and

the　archer　in　the　place　of　the　crab。



Worships　and　worships！　　Ever　the　pursuit　of　the　Mystery！　　I　remember

the　lame　god　of　the　Greeks；　the　master…smith。　　But　their　vulcan　was

the　Germanic　Wieland；　the　master…smith　captured　and　hamstrung　lame

of　a　leg　by　Nidung；　the　kind　of　the　Nids。　　But　before　that　he　was

our　master…smith；　our　forger　and　hammerer；　whom　we　named　Il…marinen。

And　him　we　begat　of　our　fancy；　giving　him　the　bearded　sun…god　for

father；　and　nursing　him　by　the　stars　of　the　bear。　　For；　he；　Vulcan；

or　Wieland；　or　Il…marinen；　was　born　under　the　pine　tree；　from　the

hair　of　the　wolf；　and　was　called　also　the　bear…father　ere　ever　the

Germans　and　Greeks　purloined　and　worshipped　him。　　In　that　day　we

called　ourselves　the　Sons　of　the　Bear　and　the　Sons　of　the　Wolf；　and

the　bear　and　the　wolf　were　our　totems。　　That　was　before　our　drift

south　on　which　we　joined　with　the　Sons　of　the　Tree…Grove　and　taught

them　our　totems　and　tales。



Yes；　and　who　was　Kashyapa；　who　was　Pururavas；　but　our　lame　master…

smith；　our　iron…worker；　carried　by　us　in　our　drifts　and　re…named　and

worshipped　by　the　south…dwellers　and　the　east…dwellers；　the　Sons　of

the　Pole　and　of　the　Fire　Drill　and　Fire　Socket。



But　the　tale　is　too　long；　though　I　should　like　to　tell　of　the　three…

leaved　Herb　of　Life　by　which　Sigmund　made　Sinfioti　alive　again。　　For

this　is　the　very　soma…plant　of　India；　the　holy　grail　of　King　Arthur；

thebut　enough！　enough！



And　yet；　as　I　calmly　consider　it　all；　I　conclude　that　the　greatest

thing　in　life；　in　all　lives；　to　me　and　to　all　men；　has　been　woman；

is　woman；　and　will　be　woman　so　long　as　the　stars　drift　in　the　sky

and　the　heavens　flux　eternal　change。　　Greater　than　our　toil　and

endeavour；　the　play　of　invention　and　fancy；　battle　and　star…gazing

and　mysterygreatest　of　all　has　been　woman。



Even　though　she　has　sung　false　music　to　me；　and　kept　my　feet　solid

on　the　ground；　and　drawn　my　star…roving　eyes　ever　back　to　gaze　upon

her；　she；　the　conserver　of　life；　the　earth…mother；　has　given　me　my

great　days　and　nights　and　fulness　of　years。　　Even　mystery　have　I

imaged　in　the　form　of　her；　and　in　my　star…charting　have　I　placed　her

figure　in　the　sky。



All　my　toils　and　devices　led　to　her；　all　my　far　visions　saw　her　at

the　end。　　When　I　made　the　fire…drill　and　fire…socket；　it　was　for

her。　　It　was　for　her；　although　I　did　not　know　it；　that　I　put　the

stake　in　the　pit　for　old　Sabre…Tooth；　tamed　the　horse；　slew　the

mammoth；　and　herded　my　reindeer　south　in　advance　of　the　ice…sheet。

For　her　I　harvested　the　wild　rice；　tamed　the　barley；　the　wheat；　and

the　corn。



For　her；　and　the　seed　to　come　after　whose　image　she　bore；　I　have

died　in　tree…tops　and　stood　long　sieges　in　cave…mouths　and　on　mud…

walls。　　For　her　I　put　the　twelve　signs　in　the　sky。　　It　was　she　I

worshipped　when　I　bowed　before　the　ten　stones　of　jade　and　adored

them　as　the　moons　of　gestation。



Always　has　woman　crouched　close　to　earth　like　a　partridge　hen

mothering　her　young；　always　has　my　wantonness　of　roving　led　me　out

on　the　shining　ways；　and　always　have　my　star…paths　returned　me　to

her；　the　figure　everlasting；　the　woman；　the　one　woman；　for　whose

arms　I　had　such　need　that　clasped　in　them　I　have　forgotten　the

stars。



For　her　I　accomplished　Odysseys；　scaled　mountains；　crossed　deserts；

for　her　I　led　the　hunt　and　was　forward　in　battle；　and　for　her　and　to

her　I　sang　my　songs　of　the　things　I　had　done。　　All　ecstasies　of　life

and　rhapsodies　of　delight　have　been　mine　because　of　her。　　And　here；

at　the　end；　I　can　say　that　I　have　known　no　sweeter；　deeper　madness

of　being　than　to　drown　in　the　fragrant　glory　and　forgetfulness　of

her　hair。



One　word　more。　　I　remember　me　Dorothy；　just　the　other　day；　when　I

still　lectured　on　agronomy　to　farmer…boy　students。　　She　was　eleven

years　old。　　Her　father　was　dean　of　the　college。　　She　was　a　woman…

child；　and　a　woman；　and　she　conceived　that　she　loved　me。　　And　I

smiled　to　myself；　for　my　heart　was　untouched　and　lay　elsewhere。



Yet　was　the　smile　tender；　for　in　the　child's　eyes　I　saw　the　woman

eternal；　the　woman　of　all　times　and　appearances。　　In　her　eyes　I　saw

the　eyes　of　my　mate　of　the　jungle　and　tree…top；　of　the　cave　and　the

squatting…place。　　In　her　eyes　I　saw　the　eyes　of　Igar　when　I　was　Ushu

the　archer；　the　eyes　of　Arunga　when　I　was　the　rice…harvester；　the

eyes　of　Selpa　when　I　dreamed　of　bestriding　the　stallion；　the　eyes　of

Nuhila　who　leaned　to　the　thrust　of　my　sword。　　Yes；　there　was　that　in

her　eyes　that　made　them　the　eyes　of　Lei…Lei　whom　I　left　with　a　laugh

on　my　lips；　the　eyes　of　the　Lady　Om　for　forty　years　my　beggar…mate

on　highway　and　byway；　the　eyes　of　Philippa　for　whom　I　was　slain　on

the　grass　in　old　France；　the　eyes　of　my　mother　when　I　was　the　lad

Jesse　at　the　Mountain　Meadows　in　the　circle　of　our　forty　great

wagons。



She　was　a　woman…child；　but　she　was　daughter　of　all　women；　as　her

mother　before　her；　and　she　was　the　mother　of　all　women　to　come　after

her。　　She　was　Sar；　the　corn…goddess。　　She　was　Isthar　who　conquered

death。　　She　was　Sheba　and　Cleopatra；　she　was　Esther　and　Herodias。

She　was　Mary　the　Madonna；　and　Mary　the　Magdalene；　and　Mary　the

sister　of　Martha；　also　she　was　Martha。　　And　she　was　Brunnhilde　and

Guinevere；　Iseult　and　Juliet；　Heloise　and　Nicolette。　　Yes；　and　she

was　Eve；　she　was　Lilith；　she　was　Astarte。　　She　was　eleven　years　old；

and　she　was　all　women　that　had　been；　all　women　to　be。



I　sit　in　my　cell　now；　while　the　flies　hum　in　the　drowsy　summer

afternoon；　and　I　know　that　my　time　is　short。　　Soon　they　will　apparel

me　in　the　shirt　without　a　collar。　。　。　。　But　hush；　my　heart。　　The

spirit　is　immortal。　　After　the　dark　I　shall　live　again；　and　there

will　be　women。　　The　future　holds　the　little　women　for　me　in　the

lives　I　am　yet　to　live。　　And　though　the　stars　drift；　and　the　heavens

lie；　ever　remains　woman；　resplendent；　eternal；　the　one　woman；　as　I；

under　all　my　masquerades　and　misadventures；　am　the　one　man；　her

mate。







CHAPTER　XXII







My　time　grows　very　short。　　All　the　manuscript　I　have　written　is

safely　smuggled　out　of　the　prison。　　There　is　a　man　I　can　trust　who

will　see　that　it　is　published。　　No　longer　am　I　in　Murderers　Row。　　I

am　writing　these　lines　in　the　death　cell；　and　the　death…watch　is　set

on　me。　　Night　and　day　is　this　death…watch　on　me；　and　its　paradoxical

function　is　to　see　that　I　do　not　die。　　I　must　be　kept　alive　for　the

hanging；　or　else　will　the　public　be　cheated；　the　law　blackened；　and

a　mark　of　demerit　placed　against　the　time…serving　warden　who　runs

this　prison　and　one　of　whose　duties　is　to　see　that　his　condemned

ones　are　duly　and　properly　hanged。　　Often　I　marvel　at　the　strange

way　some　men　make　their　livings。



This　shall　be　my　last　writing。　　To…morrow　morning　the　hour　is　set。

The　governor　has　declined　to　pardon　or　reprieve；　despite　the　fact

that　the　Anti…Capital…Punishment　League　has　raised　quite　a　stir　in

California。　　The　reporters　are　gathered　like　so　many　buzzards。　　I

have　seen　them　all。　　They　are　queer　young　fellows；　most　of　them；　and

most　queer　is　it　that　they　will　thus　earn　bread　and　butter；

cocktails　and　tobacco；　room…rent；　and；　if　they　are　married；　shoes

and　schoolbooks　for　their　children；　by　witnessing　the　execution　of

Professor　Darrell　Standing；　and　by　describing　for　the　public　how

Professor　Darrell　Standing　died　at　the　end　of　a　rope。　　Ah；　well；

they　will　be　sicker　than　I　at　the　end　of　the　affair。



As　I　sit　here　and　muse　on　it　all；　the　footfalls　of　the　death…watch

going　up　and　down　o