the jacket (the star-rover)-第60节

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and　must　pass。



Oh；　I　do　see　myself　to…day　that　one　man　who　appeared　in　the　elder

world；　blonde；　ferocious；　a　killer　and　a　lover；　a　meat…eater　and　a

root…digger；　a　gypsy　and　a　robber；　who；　club　in　hand；　through

millenniums　of　years　wandered　the　world　around　seeking　meat　to

devour　and　sheltered　nests　for　his　younglings　and　sucklings。



I　am　that　man；　the　sum　of　him；　the　all　of　him；　the　hairless　biped

who　struggled　upward　from　the　slime　and　created　love　and　law　out　of

the　anarchy　of　fecund　life　that　screamed　and　squalled　in　the　jungle。

I　am　all　that　that　man　was　and　did　become。　　I　see　myself；　through

the　painful　generations；　snaring　and　killing　the　game　and　the　fish；

clearing　the　first　fields　from　the　forest；　making　rude　tools　of

stone　and　bone；　building　houses　of　wood；　thatching　the　roofs　with

leaves　and　straw；　domesticating　the　wild　grasses　and　meadow…roots；

fathering　them　to　become　the　progenitors　of　rice　and　millet　and

wheat　and　barley　and　all　manner　of　succulent　edibles；　learning　to

scratch　the　soil；　to　sow；　to　reap；　to　store；　beating　out　the　fibres

of　plants　to　spin　into　thread　and　to　weave　into　cloth；　devising

systems　of　irrigation；　working　in　metals；　making　markets　and　trade…

routes；　building　boats；　and　founding　navigationay；　and　organizing

village　life；　welding　villages　to　villages　till　they　became　tribes；

welding　tribes　together　till　they　became　nations；　ever　seeking　the

laws　of　things；　ever　making　the　laws　of　humans　so　that　humans　might

live　together　in　amity　and　by　united　effort　beat　down　and　destroy

all　manner　of　creeping；　crawling；　squalling　things　that　might　else

destroy　them。



I　was　that　man　in　all　his　births　and　endeavours。　　I　am　that　man　to…

day；　waiting　my　due　death　by　the　law　that　I　helped　to　devise　many　a

thousand　years　ago；　and　by　which　I　have　died　many　times　before　this；

many　times。　　And　as　I　contemplate　this　vast　past　history　of　me；　I

find　several　great　and　splendid　influences；　and；　chiefest　of　these；

the　love　of　woman；　man's　love　for　the　woman　of　his　kind。　　I　see

myself；　the　one　man；　the　lover；　always　the　lover。　　Yes；　also　was　I

the　great　fighter；　but　somehow　it　seems　to　me　as　I　sit　here　and

evenly　balance　it　all；　that　I　was；　more　than　aught　else；　the　great

lover。　　It　was　because　I　loved　greatly　that　I　was　the　great　fighter。



Sometimes　I　think　that　the　story　of　man　is　the　story　of　the　love　of

woman。　　This　memory　of　all　my　past　that　I　write　now　is　the　memory　of

my　love　of　woman。　　Ever；　in　the　ten　thousand　lives　and　guises；　I

loved　her。　　I　love　her　now。　　My　sleep　is　fraught　with　her；　my　waking

fancies；　no　matter　whence　they　start；　lead　me　always　to　her。　　There

is　no　escaping　her；　that　eternal；　splendid；　ever…resplendent　figure

of　woman。



Oh；　make　no　mistake。　　I　am　no　callow；　ardent　youth。　　I　am　an　elderly

man；　broken　in　health　and　body；　and　soon　to　die。　　I　am　a　scientist

and　a　philosopher。　　I；　as　all　the　generations　of　philosophers　before

me；　know　woman　for　what　she　isher　weaknesses；　and　meannesses；　and

immodesties；　and　ignobilities；　her　earth…bound　feet；　and　her　eyes

that　have　never　seen　the　stars。　　Butand　the　everlasting；

irrefragable　fact　remains：　　HER　FEET　ARE　BEAUTIFUL；　HER　EYES　ARE

BEAUTIFUL；　HER　ARMS　AND　BREASTS　ARE　PARADISE；　HER　CHARM　IS　POTENT

BEYOND　ALL　CHARM　THAT　HAS　EVER　DAZZLED　MEN；　AND；　AS　THE　POLE　WILLY…

NILLY　DRAWS　THE　NEEDLE；　JUST　SO；　WILLY…NILLY；　DOES　SHE　DRAW　MEN。



Woman　has　made　me　laugh　at　death　and　distance；　scorn　fatigue　and

sleep。　　I　have　slain　men；　many　men；　for　love　of　woman；　or　in　warm

blood　have　baptized　our　nuptials　or　washed　away　the　stain　of　her

favour　to　another。　　I　have　gone　down　to　death　and　dishonour；　my

betrayal　of　my　comrades　and　of　the　stars　black　upon　me；　for　woman's

sakefor　my　sake；　rather；　I　desired　her　so。　　And　I　have　lain　in　the

barley；　sick　with　yearning　for　her；　just　to　see　her　pass　and　glut　my

eyes　with　the　swaying　wonder　of　her　and　of　her　hair；　black　with　the

night；　or　brown　or　flaxen；　or　all　golden…dusty　with　the　sun。



For　woman　IS　beautiful　。　。　。　to　man。　　She　is　sweet　to　his　tongue；

and　fragrance　in　his　nostrils。　　She　is　fire　in　his　blood；　and　a

thunder　of　trumpets；　her　voice　is　beyond　all　music　in　his　ears；　and

she　can　shake　his　soul　that　else　stands　steadfast　in　the　draughty

presence　of　the　Titans　of　the　Light　and　of　the　Dark。　　And　beyond　his

star…gazing；　in　his　far…imagined　heavens；　Valkyrie　or　houri；　man　has

fain　made　place　for　her；　for　he　could　see　no　heaven　without　her。

And　the　sword；　in　battle；　singing；　sings　not　so　sweet　a　song　as　the

woman　sings　to　man　merely　by　her　laugh　in　the　moonlight；　or　her

love…sob　in　the　dark；　or　by　her　swaying　on　her　way　under　the　sun

while　he　lies　dizzy　with　longing　in　the　grass。



I　have　died　of　love。　　I　have　died　for　love；　as　you　shall　see。　　In　a

little　while　they　will　take　me　out；　me；　Darrell　Standing；　and　make

me　die。　　And　that　death　shall　be　for　love。　　Oh；　not　lightly　was　I

stirred　when　I　slew　Professor　Haskell　in　the　laboratory　at　the

University　of　California。　　He　was　a　man。　　I　was　a　man。　　And　there

was　a　woman　beautiful。　　Do　you　understand？　　She　was　a　woman　and　I

was　a　man　and　a　lover；　and　all　the　heredity　of　love　was　mine　up　from

the　black　and　squalling　jungle　ere　love　was　love　and　man　was　man。



Oh；　ay；　it　is　nothing　new。　　Often；　often；　in　that　long　past　have　I

given　life　and　honour；　place　and　power　for　love。　　Man　is　different

from　woman。　　She　is　close　to　the　immediate　and　knows　only　the　need

of　instant　things。　　We　know　honour　above　her　honour；　and　pride

beyond　her　wildest　guess　of　pride。　　Our　eyes　are　far…visioned　for

star…gazing；　while　her　eyes　see　no　farther　than　the　solid　earth

beneath　her　feet；　the　lover's　breast　upon　her　breast；　the　infant

lusty　in　the　hollow　of　her　arm。　　And　yet；　such　is　our　alchemy

compounded　of　the　ages；　woman　works　magic　in　our　dreams　and　in　our

veins；　so　that　more　than　dreams　and　far　visions　and　the　blood　of

life　itself　is　woman　to　us；　who；　as　lovers　truly　say；　is　more　than

all　the　world。　　Yet　is　this　just；　else　would　man　not　be　man；　the

fighter　and　the　conqueror；　treading　his　red　way　on　the　face　of　all

other　and　lesser　lifefor；　had　man　not　been　the　lover；　the　royal

lover；　he　could　never　have　become　the　kingly　fighter。　　We　fight

best；　and　die　best；　and　live　best；　for　what　we　love。



I　am　that　one　man。　　I　see　myself　the　many　selves　that　have　gone　into

the　constituting　of　me。　　And　ever　I　see　the　woman；　the　many　women；

who　have　made　me　and　undone　me；　who　have　loved　me　and　whom　I　have

loved。



I　remember；　oh；　long　ago　when　human　kind　was　very　young；　that　I　made

me　a　snare　and　a　pit　with　a　pointed　stake　upthrust　in　the　middle

thereof；　for　the　taking　of　Sabre…Tooth。　　Sabre…Tooth；　long…fanged

and　long…haired；　was　the　chiefest　peril　to　us　of　the　squatting

place；　who　crouched　through　the　nights　over　our　fires　and　by　day

increased　the　growing　shell…bank　beneath　us　by　the　clams　we　dug　and

devoured　from　the　salt　mud…flats　beside　us。



And　when　the　roar　and　the　squall　of　Sabre…Tooth　roused　us　where　we

squatted　by　our　dying　embers；　and　I　was　wild　with　far　vision　of　the

proof　of　the　pit　and　the　stake；　it　was　the　woman；　arms　about　me；

leg…twining；　who　fought　with　me　and　restrained　me　not　to　go　out

through　the　dark　to　my　desire。　　She　was　part…clad；　for　warmth　only；

in　skins　of　animals；　mangy　and　fireburnt；　that　I　had　slain；　she　was

swart　and　dirty　with　camp　smoke；　unwashed　since　the　spring　rains；

with　nails　gnarled　and　broken；　and　hands　that　were　calloused　like

footpads　and　were　more　like　claws　than　like　hands；　but　her　eyes　were

blue　as　the　summer　sky　is；　as　the　deep　sea　is；　and　there　was　that　in

her　eyes；　and　in　her　clasped　arms　about　me；　and　in　her　heart　beating

against　mine；　that　withheld　me　。　。　。　though　through　the　dark　until

dawn；　while　Sabre…Tooth　squalled　his　wrath　and　his　agony；　I　could

hear　my　comrades　snickering　and　sniggling　to　their　women　in　that　I

had　not　the　faith　in　my　emprise　and　invention　to　venture　through　the

night　to　the　pit　and　the　stake　I　had　devised　for　the　undoing　of

Sabre…Tooth。　　But　my　woman；　my　savage　mate　held　me；　savage　that　I

was；　and　her　eyes　drew　me；　and　her　arms　chained　me；　and　her　twining

legs　and　heart　beating　to　mine　seduced　me　from　my　far　dream　of

things；　my　man's　achievement；　the　goal　beyond　goals；　the　taking　and

the　slaying　of　Sabre…Tooth　on　the　stake　in　the　pit。



Once　I　wan　Ushu；　the　archer。　　I　remember　it　well。　　For　I　was　lost

from　my　own　people；　through　the　great　forest；　till　I　emerged　on　the

flat　lands　and　grass　lands；　and　was　taken　in　by　a　strange　people；

kin　in　that　their　skin　was　white；　their　hair　yellow；　their　speech

not　too　remote　from　mine。　　And　she　was　Igar；　and　I　drew　her　as　I

sang　in　the　twilight；　for　she　was　destined　a　race…mother；　and　she

was　broad…built　and　full…dugged；　and　she　could　not　but　draw　to　the

man　heavy…muscled；　deep…chested；　who　sang　of　his　prowess　in　man…

slaying　and　in　meat…getting；　and　so；　promised　food　and　pr