letters of two brides-第4节

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〃So　be　it；〃　he　replied。　〃But　don't　be　uneasy；　you　have　money　enough　of
your　own　to　be　no　burden　either　to　your　mother　or　me。〃

〃May　I　ask　how　much　I　have？〃

〃Certainly；　my　child；〃　he　said。　〃Your　grandmother　left　you　five
hundred　thousand　francs；　this　was　the　amount　of　her　savings；　for　she
would　not　alienate　a　foot　of　land　from　the　family。　This　sum　has　been
placed　in　Government　stock；　and；　with　the　accumulated　interest；　now
brings　in　about　forty　thousand　francs　a　year。　With　this　I　had　purposed
making　an　independence　for　your　second　brother；　and　it　is　here　that
you　have　upset　my　plans。　Later；　however；　it　is　possible　that　you　may
fall　in　with　them。　It　shall　rest　with　yourself；　for　I　have　confidence
in　your　good　sense　far　more　than　I　had　expected。

〃I　do　not　need　to　tell　you　how　a　daughter　of　the　Chaulieus　ought　to
behave。　The　pride　so　plainly　written　in　your　features　is　my　best
guarantee。　Safeguards；　such　as　common　folk　surround　their　daughters
with；　would　be　an　insult　in　our　family。　A　slander　reflecting　on　your
name　might　cost　the　life　of　the　man　bold　enough　to　utter　it；　or　the
life　of　one　of　your　brothers；　if　by　chance　the　right　should　not
prevail。　No　more　on　this　subject。　Good…bye；　little　one。〃

He　kissed　me　on　the　forehead　and　went　out。　I　cannot　understand　the
relinquishment　of　this　plan　after　nine　years'　persistence　in　it。　My
father's　frankness　is　what　I　like。　There　is　no　ambiguity　about　his
words。　My　money　ought　to　belong　to　his　Marquis　son。　Who；　then；　has　had
bowels　of　mercy？　My　mother？　My　father？　Or　could　it　be　my　brother？

I　remained　sitting　on　my　grandmother's　sofa；　staring　at　the　purse
which　my　father　had　left　on　the　mantelpiece；　at　once　pleased　and　vexed
that　I　could　not　withdraw　my　mind　from　the　money。　It　is　true；　further
speculation　was　useless。　My　doubts　had　been　cleared　up　and　there　was
something　fine　in　the　way　my　pride　was　spared。

Philippe　has　spent　the　morning　rushing　about　among　the　various　shops
and　workpeople　who　are　to　undertake　the　task　of　my　metamorphosis。　A
famous　dressmaker；　by　name　Victorine；　has　come；　as　well　as　a　woman　for
underclothing；　and　a　shoemaker。　I　am　as　impatient　as　a　child　to　know
what　I　shall　be　like　when　I　emerge　from　the　sack　which　constituted　the
conventual　uniform；　but　all　these　tradespeople　take　a　long　time；　the
corset…maker　requires　a　whole　week　if　my　figure　is　not　to　be　spoilt。
You　see；　I　have　a　figure；　dear；　this　becomes　serious。　Janssen；　the
Operatic　shoemaker；　solemnly　assures　me　that　I　have　my　mother's　foot。
The　whole　morning　has　gone　in　these　weighty　occupations。　Even　a
glovemaker　has　come　to　take　the　measure　of　my　hand。　The　underclothing
woman　has　got　my　orders。

At　the　meal　which　I　call　dinner；　and　the　others　lunch；　my　mother　told
me　that　we　were　going　together　to　the　milliner's　to　see　some　hats；　so
that　my　taste　should　be　formed；　and　I　might　be　in　a　position　to　order
my　own。

This　burst　of　independence　dazzles　me。　I　am　like　a　blind　man　who　has
just　recovered　his　sight。　Now　I　begin　to　understand　the　vast　interval
which　separates　a　Carmelite　sister　from　a　girl　in　society。　Of
ourselves　we　could　never　have　conceived　it。

During　this　lunch　my　father　seemed　absent…minded；　and　we　left　him　to
his　thoughts；　he　is　deep　in　the　King's　confidence。　I　was　entirely
forgotten；　but；　from　what　I　have　seen；　I　have　no　doubt　he　will
remember　me　when　he　has　need　of　me。　He　is　a　very　attractive　man　in
spite　of　his　fifty　years。　His　figure　is　youthful；　he　is　well　made；
fair；　and　extremely　graceful　in　his　movements。　He　has　a　diplomatic
face；　at　once　dumb　and　expressive；　his　nose　is　long　and　slender；　and
he　has　brown　eyes。

What　a　handsome　pair！　Strange　thoughts　assail　me　as　it　becomes　plain
to　me　that　these　two；　so　perfectly　matched　in　birth；　wealth；　and
mental　superiority；　live　entirely　apart；　and　have　nothing　in　common
but　their　name。　The　show　of　unity　is　only　for　the　world。

The　cream　of　the　Court　and　diplomatic　circles　were　here　last　night。
Very　soon　I　am　going　to　a　ball　given　by　the　Duchesse　de　Maufrigneuse；
and　I　shall　be　presented　to　the　society　I　am　so　eager　to　know。　A
dancing…master　is　coming　every　morning　to　give　me　lessons；　for　I　must
be　able　to　dance　in　a　month；　or　I　can't　go　to　the　ball。

Before　dinner；　my　mother　came　to　talk　about　the　governess　with　me。　I
have　decided　to　keep　Miss　Griffith；　who　was　recommended　by　the　English
ambassador。　Miss　Griffith　is　the　daughter　of　a　clergyman；　her　mother
was　of　good　family；　and　she　is　perfectly　well　bred。　She　is　thirty…six；
and　will　teach　me　English。　The　good　soul　is　quite　handsome　enough　to
have　ambitions；　she　is　Scotchpoor　and　proudand　will　act　as　my
chaperon。　She　is　to　sleep　in　Rose's　room。　Rose　will　be　under　her
orders。　I　saw　at　a　glance　that　my　governess　would　be　governed　by　me。
In　the　six　days　we　have　been　together；　she　has　made　very　sure　that　I
am　the　only　person　likely　to　take　an　interest　in　her；　while；　for　my
part；　I　have　ascertained　that；　for　all　her　statuesque　features；　she
will　prove　accommodating。　She　seems　to　me　a　kindly　soul；　but　cautious。
I　have　not　been　able　to　extract　a　word　of　what　passed　between　her　and
my　mother。

Another　trifling　piece　of　news！　My　father　has　this　morning　refused　the
appointment　as　Minister　of　State　which　was　offered　him。　This　accounts
for　his　preoccupied　manner　last　night。　He　says　he　would　prefer　an
embassy　to　the　worries　of　public　debate。　Spain　in　especial　attracts
him。

This　news　was　told　me　at　lunch；　the　one　moment　of　the　day　when　my
father；　mother；　and　brother　see　each　other　in　an　easy　way。　The
servants　then　only　come　when　they　are　rung　for。　The　rest　of　the　day　my
brother；　as　well　as　my　father；　spends　out　of　the　house。　My　mother　has
her　toilet　to　make；　between　two　and　four　she　is　never　visible；　at　four
o'clock　she　goes　out　for　an　hour's　drive；　when　she　is　not　dining　out；
she　receives　from　six　to　seven；　and　the　evening　is　given　to
entertainments　of　various　kindstheatres；　balls；　concerts；　at　homes。
In　short；　her　life　is　so　full；　that　I　don't　believe　she　ever　has　a
quarter　of　an　hour　to　herself。　She　must　spend　a　considerable　time
dressing　in　the　morning；　for　at　lunch；　which　takes　place　between
eleven　and　twelve；　she　is　exquisite。　The　meaning　of　the　things　that
are　said　about　her　is　dawning　on　me。　She　begins　the　day　with　a　bath
barely　warmed；　and　a　cup　of　cold　coffee　with　cream；　then　she　dresses。
She　is　never；　except　on　some　great　emergency；　called　before　nine
o'clock。　In　summer　there　are　morning　rides；　and　at　two　o'clock　she
receives　a　young　man　whom　I　have　never　yet　contrived　to　see。

Behold　our　family　life！　We　meet　at　lunch　and　dinner；　though　often　I　am
alone　with　my　mother　at　this　latter　meal；　and　I　foresee　that　still
oftener　I　shall　take　it　in　my　own　rooms　（following　the　example　of　my
grandmother）　with　only　Miss　Griffith　for　company；　for　my　mother
frequently　dines　out。　I　have　ceased　to　wonder　at　the　indifference　my
family　have　shown　to　me。　In　Paris；　my　dear；　it　is　a　miracle　of　virtue
to　love　the　people　who　live　with　you；　for　you　see　little　enough　of
them；　as　for　the　absentthey　do　not　exist！

Knowing　as　this　may　sound；　I　have　not　yet　set　foot　in　the　streets；　and
am　deplorably　ignorant。　I　must　wait　till　I　am　less　of　the　country
cousin　and　have　brought　my　dress　and　deportment　into　keeping　with　the
society　I　am　about　to　enter；　the　whirl　of　which　amazes　me　even　here；
where　only　distant　murmurs　reach　my　ear。　So　far　I　have　not　gone　beyond
the　garden；　but　the　Italian　opera　opens　in　a　few　days；　and　my　mother
has　a　box　there。　I　am　crazy　with　delight　at　the　thought　of　hearing
Italian　music　and　seeing　French　acting。

Already　I　begin　to　drop　convent　habits　for　those　of　society。　I　spend
the　evening　writing　to　you　till　the　moment　for　going　to　bed　arrives。
This　has　been　postponed　to　ten　o'clock；　the　hour　at　which　my　mother
goes　out；　if　she　is　not　at　the　theatre。　There　are　twelve　theatres　in
Paris。

I　am　grossly　ignorant　and　I　read　a　lot；　but　quite　indiscriminately；
one　book　leading　to　another。　I　find　the　names　of　fresh　books　on　the
cover　of　the　one　I　am　reading；　but　as　I　have　no　one　to　direct　me；　I
light　on　some　which　are　fearfully　dull。　What　modern　literature　I　have
read　all　turns　upon　love；　the　subject　which　used　to　bulk　so　largely　in
our　thoughts；　because　it　seemed　that　our　fate　was　determined　by　man
and　for　man。　But　how　inferior　are　these　authors　to　two　little　girls；
known　as　Sweetheart　and　Darlingotherwise　Renee　and　Louise。　Ah！　my
love；　what　wretched　plots；　what　ridiculous　situations；　and　what
poverty　of　sentiment！　Two　books；　however；　have　given　me　wonderful
pleasure/Corinne/　and　/Adolphe/。　Apropos　of　this；　I　asked　my　father
one　day　whether　it　would　be　possible　for　me　to　see　Mme。　de　Stael。　My
father；　mother；　and　Alphonse　all　burst　out　laughing；　and　Alphonse
said：

〃Where　in　the　world　has　she　sprung　from？〃

To　which　my　father　replied：

〃What　fools　we　are！　She　springs　from　the　Carmelites。〃

〃My　child；　Mme。　de　Stael　is　dead；〃　said　my　mother　gently。

When　I　finished　/Adolphe/；　I　asked　Miss　Griffith　how　a　woman　could　be
betrayed。

〃Why；　of　course；　when　she　loves；〃　was　her　reply。

Renee；　tell　me；　do　you　think　we　could　be　betrayed　by　a　man？

Miss　Griffith　has　at　las