letters of two brides-第35节

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I　have　been　so　successful　in　my　profession　of　nurse　that　I　shall　wean
Armand　in　December。　A　year　at　the　breast　is　quite　enough；　children　who
are　suckled　longer　are　said　to　grow　stupid；　and　I　am　all　for　popular
sayings。

You　must　make　a　tremendous　sensation　in　Italy；　my　fair　one　with　the
golden　locks。　A　thousand　loves。



XXXIX

THE　BARONNE　DE　MACUMER　TO　THE　VICOMTESSE　DE　L'ESTORADE

Your　atrocious　letter　has　reached　me　here；　the　steward　having
forwarded　it　by　my　orders。　Oh！　Renee　。　。　。　but　I　will　spare　you　the
outburst　of　my　wounded　feelings；　and　simply　tell　you　the　effect　your
letter　produced。

We　had　just　returned　from　a　delightful　reception　given　in　our　honor　by
the　ambassador；　where　I　appeared　in　all　my　glory；　and　Macumer　was
completely　carried　away　in　a　frenzy　of　love　which　I　could　not
describe。　Then　I　read　him　your　horrible　answer　to　my　letter；　and　I
read　it　sobbing；　at　the　risk　of　making　a　fright　of　myself。　My　dear
Arab　fell　at　my　feet；　declaring　that　you　raved。　Then　he　carried　me　off
to　the　balcony　of　the　palace　where　we　are　staying；　from　which　we　have
a　view　over　part　of　the　city；　there　he　spoke　to　me　words　worthy　of　the
magnificent　moonlight　scene　which　lay　stretched　before　us。　We　both
speak　Italian　now；　and　his　love；　told　in　that　voluptuous　tongue；　so
admirably　adapted　to　the　expression　of　passion；　sounded　in　my　ears
like　the　most　exquisite　poetry。　He　swore　that；　even　were　you　right　in
your　predictions；　he　would　not　exchange　for　a　lifetime　a　single　one　of
our　blessed　nights　or　charming　mornings。　At　this　reckoning　he　has
already　lived　a　thousand　years。　He　is　content　to　have　me　for　his
mistress；　and　would　claim　no　other　title　than　that　of　lover。　So　proud
and　pleased　is　he　to　see　himself　every　day　the　chosen　of　my　heart；
that　were　Heaven　to　offer　him　the　alternative　between　living　as　you
would　have　us　to　for　another　thirty　years　with　five　children；　and　five
years　spent　amid　the　dear　roses　of　our　love；　he　would　not　hesitate。　He
would　take　my　love；　such　as　it　is；　and　death。

While　he　was　whispering　this　in　my　ear；　his　arm　round　me；　my　head
resting　on　his　shoulder；　the　cries　of　a　bat；　surprised　by　an　owl；
disturbed　us。　This　death…cry　struck　me　with　such　terror　that　Felipe
carried　me　half…fainting　to　my　bed。　But　don't　be　alarmed！　Though　this
augury　of　evil　still　resounds　in　my　soul；　I　am　quite　myself　this
morning。　As　soon　as　I　was　up；　I　went　to　Felipe；　and；　kneeling　before
him；　my　eyes　fixed　on　his；　his　hands　clasped　in　mine；　I　said　to　him：

〃My　love；　I　am　a　child；　and　Renee　may　be　right　after　all。　It　may　be
only　your　love　that　I　love　in　you；　but　at　least　I　can　assure　you　that
this　is　the　one　feeling　of　my　heart；　and　that　I　love　you　as　it　is
given　me　to　love。　But　if　there　be　aught　in　me；　in　my　lightest　thought
or　deed；　which　jars　on　your　wishes　or　conception　of　me；　I　implore　you
to　tell　me；　to　say　what　it　is。　It　will　be　a　joy　to　me　to　hear　you　and
to　take　your　eyes　as　the　guiding…stars　of　my　life。　Renee　has
frightened　me；　for　she　is　a　true　friend。〃

Macumer　could　not　find　voice　to　reply；　tears　choked　him。

I　can　thank　you　now；　Renee。　But　for　your　letter　I　should　not　have
known　the　depths　of　love　in　my　noble；　kingly　Macumer。　Rome　is　the　city
of　love；　it　is　there　that　passion　should　celebrate　its　feast；　with　art
and　religion　as　confederates。

At　Venice　we　shall　find　the　Duc　and　Duchesse　de　Soria。　If　you　write；
address　now　to　Paris；　for　we　shall　leave　Rome　in　three　days。　The
ambassador's　was　a　farewell　party。

P。　S。Dear；　silly　child；　your　letter　only　shows　that　you　knew　nothing
of　love；　except　theoretically。　Learn　then　that　love　is　a　quickening
force　which　may　produce　fruits　so　diverse　that　no　theory　can　embrace
or　co…ordinate　them。　A　word　this　for　my　little　Professor　with　her
armor　of　stays。



XL

THE　COMTESSE　DE　L'ESTORADE　TO　THE　BARONNE　DE　MACUMER
January　1827。

My　father　has　been　elected　to　the　Chamber；　my　father…in…law　is　dead；
and　I　am　on　the　point　of　my　second　confinement；　these　are　the　chief
events　marking　the　end　of　the　year　for　us。　I　mention　them　at　once；
lest　the　sight　of　the　black　seal　should　frighten　you。

My　dear；　your　letter　from　Rome　made　my　flesh　creep。　You　are　nothing
but　a　pair　of　children。　Felipe　is　either　a　dissembling　diplomat　or
else　his　love　for　you　is　the　love　a　man　might　have　for　a　courtesan；　on
whom　he　squanders　his　all；　knowing　all　the　time　that　she　is　false　to
him。　Enough　of　this。　You　say　I　rave；　so　I　had　better　hold　my　tongue。
Only　this　would　I　say；　from　the　comparison　of　our　two　very　different
destinies　I　draw　this　harsh　moralLove　not　if　you　would　be　loved。

My　dear；　when　Louis　was　elected　to　the　provincial　Council；　he　received
the　cross　of　the　Legion　of　Honor。　That　is　now　nearly　three　years　ago；
and　as　my　fatherwhom　you　will　no　doubt　see　in　Paris　during　the
course　of　the　sessionhas　asked　the　rank　of　Officer　of　the　Legion　for
his　son…in…law；　I　want　to　know　if　you　will　do　me　the　kindness　to　take
in　hand　the　bigwig；　whoever　he　may　be；　to　whom　this　patronage　belongs；
and　to　keep　an　eye　upon　the　little　affair。　But；　whatever　you　do；　don't
get　entangled　in　the　concerns　of　my　honored　father。　The　Comte　de
Maucombe　is　fishing　for　the　title　of　Marquis　for　himself；　but　keep
your　good　services　for　me；　please。　When　Louis　is　a　deputynext　winter
that　iswe　shall　come　to　Paris；　and　then　we　will　move　heaven　and
earth　to　get　some　Government　appointment　for　him；　so　that　we　may　be
able　to　save　our　income　by　living　on　his　salary。　My　father　sits
between　the　centre　and　the　right；　a　title　will　content　him。　Our　family
was　distinguished　even　in　the　days　of　King　Rene；　and　Charles　X。　will
hardly　say　no　to　a　Maucombe；　but　what　I　fear　is　that　my　father　may
take　it　into　his　head　to　ask　some　favor　for　my　younger　brother。　Now；
if　the　marquisate　is　dangled　out　of　his　reach；　he　will　have　no
thoughts　to　spare　from　himself。

January　15th。

Ah！　Louise；　I　have　been　in　hell。　If　I　can　bear　to　tell　you　of　my
anguish；　it　is　because　you　are　another　self；　even　so；　I　don't　know
whether　I　shall　ever　be　able　to　live　again　in　thought　those　five
ghastly　days。　The　mere　word　〃convulsions〃　makes　my　very　heart　sick。
Five　days！　to　me　they　were　five　centuries　of　torture。　A　mother　who　has
not　been　through　this　martyrdom　does　not　know　what　suffering　is。　So
frenzied　was　I　that　I　even　envied　you；　who　never　had　a　child！

The　evening　before　that　terrible　day　the　weather　was　close；　almost
hot；　and　I　thought　my　little　Armand　was　affected　by　it。　Generally　so
sweet　and　caressing；　he　was　peevish；　cried　for　nothing；　wanted　to
play；　and　then　broke　his　toys。　Perhaps　this　sort　of　fractiousness　is
the　usual　sign　of　approaching　illness　with　children。　While　I　was
wondering　about　it；　I　noticed　Armand's　cheeks　flush；　but　this　I　set
down　to　teething；　for　he　is　cutting　four　large　teeth　at　once。　So　I　put
him　to　bed　beside　me；　and　kept　constantly　waking　through　the　night。　He
was　a　little　feverish；　but　not　enough　to　make　me　uneasy；　my　mind　being
still　full　of　the　teething。　Towards　morning　he　cried　〃Mamma！〃　and
asked　by　signs　for　something　to　drink；　but　the　cry　was　spasmodic；　and
there　were　convulsive　twitchings　in　the　limbs；　which　turned　me　to　ice。
I　jumped　out　of　bed　to　fetch　him　a　drink。　Imagine　my　horror　when；　on
my　handing　him　the　cup；　he　remained　motionless；　only　repeating
〃Mamma！〃　in　that　strange；　unfamiliar　voice；　which　was　indeed　by　this
time　hardly　a　voice　at　all。　I　took　his　hand；　but　it　did　not　respond　to
my　pressure；　it　was　quite　stiff。　I　put　the　cup　to　his　lips；　the　poor
little　fellow　gulped　down　three　or　four　mouthfuls　in　a　convulsive
manner　that　was　terrible　to　see；　and　the　water　made　a　strange　sound　in
his　throat。　He　clung　to　me　desperately；　and　I　saw　his　eyes　roll；　as
though　some　hidden　force　within　were　pulling　at　them；　till　only　the
whites　were　visible；　his　limbs　were　turning　rigid。　I　screamed　aloud；
and　Louis　came。

〃A　doctor！　quick！　。　。　。　he　is　dying；〃　I　cried。

Louis　vanished；　and　my　poor　Armand　again　gasped；　〃Mamma！　Mamma！〃　The
next　moment　he　lost　all　consciousness　of　his　mother's　existence。　The
pretty　veins　on　his　forehead　swelled；　and　the　convulsions　began。　For　a
whole　hour　before　the　doctors　came；　I　held　in　my　arms　that　merry　baby；
all　lilies　and　roses；　the　blossom　of　my　life；　my　pride；　and　my　joy；
lifeless　as　a　piece　of　wood；　and　his　eyes！　I　cannot　think　of　them
without　horror。　My　pretty　Armand　was　a　mere　mummyblack；　shriveled；
misshapen。

A　doctor；　two　doctors；　brought　from　Marseilles　by　Louis；　hovered　about
like　birds　of　ill　omen；　it　made　me　shudder　to　look　at　them。　One　spoke
of　brain　fever；　the　other　saw　nothing　but　an　ordinary　case　of
convulsions　in　infancy。　Our　own　country　doctor　seemed　to　me　to　have
the　most　sense；　for　he　offered　no　opinion。　〃It's　teething；〃　said　the
second　doctor。〃Fever；〃　said　the　first。　Finally　it　was　agreed　to　put
leeches　on　his　neck　and　ice　on　his　head。　It　seemed　to　me　like　death。
To　look　on；　to　see　a　corpse；　all　purple　or　black；　and　not　a　cry；　not　a
movement　from　this　creature　but　now　so　full　of　life　and　soundit　was
horrible！

At　one　moment　I　lost　my　head；　and　gave　a　sort　of　hysterical　laugh；　as
I　saw　the　pretty　neck　which　I　used　to　devour　with　kisses；　with　the
le