part 6-第20节
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Fred gave Thea his arm as they descended from the
embankment。 〃I guess you'll never manage to lose me or
Archie； Thea。 You do pick up queer ones。 But loving
you is a heroic discipline。 It wears a man out。 Tell me
one thing： could I have kept you； once； if I'd put on every
screw？〃
Thea hurried him along； talking rapidly； as if to get it
over。 〃You might have kept me in misery for a while；
perhaps。 I don't know。 I have to think well of myself； to
work。 You could have made it hard。 I'm not ungrateful。
I was a difficult proposition to deal with。 I understand now；
of course。 Since you didn't tell me the truth in the be…
ginning； you couldn't very well turn back after I'd set
my head。 At least； if you'd been the sort who could； you
wouldn't have had to；for I'd not have cared a button
for that sort； even then。〃 She stopped beside a car that
waited at the curb and gave him her hand。 〃There。 We
part friends？〃
Fred looked at her。 〃You know。 Ten years。〃
〃I'm not ungrateful；〃 Thea repeated as she got into
her cab。
〃Yes；〃 she reflected； as the taxi cut into the Park carriage
road； 〃we don't get fairy tales in this world； and he has；
after all； cared more and longer than anybody else。〃 It
was dark outside now； and the light from the lamps along
the drive flashed into the cab。 The snowflakes hovered
like swarms of white bees about the globes。
Thea sat motionless in one corner staring out of the
window at the cab lights that wove in and out among
the trees； all seeming to be bent upon joyous courses。
Taxicabs were still new in New York； and the theme of
popular minstrelsy。 Landry had sung her a ditty he heard
in some theater on Third Avenue； about
〃But there passed him a bright…eyed taxi
With the girl of his heart inside。〃
Almost inaudibly Thea began to hum the air； though she
was thinking of something serious； something that had
touched her deeply。 At the beginning of the season； when
she was not singing often； she had gone one afternoon to
hear Paderewski's recital。 In front of her sat an old Ger…
man couple； evidently poor people who had made sacri…
fices to pay for their excellent seats。 Their intelligent
enjoyment of the music； and their friendliness with each
other； had interested her more than anything on the pro…
gramme。 When the pianist began a lovely melody in the
first movement of the Beethoven D minor sonata； the
old lady put out her plump hand and touched her hus…
band's sleeve and they looked at each other in recognition。
They both wore glasses； but such a look！ Like forget…me…
nots； and so full of happy recollections。 Thea wanted to
put her arms around them and ask them how they had
been able to keep a feeling like that； like a nosegay in a
glass of water。
XI
DR。 ARCHIE saw nothing of Thea during the follow…
ing week。 After several fruitless efforts； he succeeded
in getting a word with her over the telephone； but she
sounded so distracted and driven that he was glad to say
good…night and hang up the instrument。 There were； she
told him； rehearsals not only for 〃Walkure；〃 but also for
〃Gotterdammerung；〃 in which she was to sing WALTRAUTE
two weeks later。
On Thursday afternoon Thea got home late； after an
exhausting rehearsal。 She was in no happy frame of mind。
Madame Necker； who had been very gracious to her
that night when she went on to complete Gloeckler's
performance of SIEGLINDE； had； since Thea was cast to sing
the part instead of Gloeckler in the production of the
〃Ring；〃 been chilly and disapproving； distinctly hostile。
Thea had always felt that she and Necker stood for the
same sort of endeavor； and that Necker recognized it and
had a cordial feeling for her。 In Germany she had several
times sung BRANGAENA to Necker's ISOLDE； and the older
artist had let her know that she thought she sang it beau…
tifully。 It was a bitter disappointment to find that the
approval of so honest an artist as Necker could not stand
the test of any significant recognition by the management。
Madame Necker was forty； and her voice was failing just
when her powers were at their height。 Every fresh young
voice was an enemy； and this one was accompanied by
gifts which she could not fail to recognize。
Thea had her dinner sent up to her apartment； and it
was a very poor one。 She tasted the soup and then indig…
nantly put on her wraps to go out and hunt a dinner。 As
she was going to the elevator； she had to admit that she
was behaving foolishly。 She took off her hat and coat
and ordered another dinner。 When it arrived； it was no
better than the first。 There was even a burnt match under
the milk toast。 She had a sore throat； which made swal…
lowing painful and boded ill for the morrow。 Although she
had been speaking in whispers all day to save her throat；
she now perversely summoned the housekeeper and de…
manded an account of some laundry that had been lost。
The housekeeper was indifferent and impertinent； and
Thea got angry and scolded violently。 She knew it was
very bad for her to get into a rage just before bedtime； and
after the housekeeper left she realized that for ten dollars'
worth of underclothing she had been unfitting herself for
a performance which might eventually mean many thous…
ands。 The best thing now was to stop reproaching herself
for her lack of sense； but she was too tired to control her
thoughts。
While she was undressingTherese was brushing out
her SIEGLINDE wig in the trunk…roomshe went on chid…
ing herself bitterly。 〃And how am I ever going to get to
sleep in this state？〃 she kept asking herself。 〃If I don't
sleep； I'll be perfectly worthless to…morrow。 I'll go down
there to…morrow and make a fool of myself。 If I'd let that
laundry alone with whatever nigger has stolen it WHY
did I undertake to reform the management of this hotel
to…night？ After to…morrow I could pack up and leave the
place。 There's the PhillamonI liked the rooms there
better； anyhowand the Umberto〃 She began going
over the advantages and disadvantages of different apart…
ment hotels。 Suddenly she checked herself。 〃What AM
I doing this for？ I can't move into another hotel to…night。
I'll keep this up till morning。 I shan't sleep a wink。〃
Should she take a hot bath； or shouldn't she？ Some…
times it relaxed her； and sometimes it roused her and fairly
put her beside herself。 Between the conviction that she
must sleep and the fear that she couldn't； she hung para…
lyzed。 When she looked at her bed； she shrank from it in
every nerve。 She was much more afraid of it than she had
ever been of the stage of any opera house。 It yawned be…
fore her like the sunken road at Waterloo。
She rushed into her bathroom and locked the door。 She
would risk the bath； and defer the encounter with the bed a
little longer。 She lay in the bath half an hour。 The warmth
of the water penetrated to her bones； induced pleasant
reflections and a feeling of well…being。 It was very nice to
have Dr。 Archie in New York； after all； and to see him get
so much satisfaction out of the little companionship she
was able to give him。 She liked people who got on； and
who became more interesting as they grew older。 There
was Fred； he was much more interesting now than he had
been at thirty。 He was intelligent about music； and he
must be very intelligent in his business； or he would not
be at the head of the Brewers' Trust。 She respected that
kind of intelligence and success。 Any success was good。
She herself had made a good start； at any rate； and now；
if she could get to sleep Yes； they were all more inter…
esting than they used to be。 Look at Harsanyi； who had
been so long retarded； what a place he had made for him…
self in Vienna。 If she could get to sleep； she would show
him something to…morrow that he would understand。
She got quickly into bed and moved about freely be…
tween the sheets。 Yes； she wa
