the decameron(十日谈)-第147节
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and pretending not to see Calandrino; albeit he was not farre from
them: What is become of Calandrino? saide Buffalmaco。 Bruno gazing
strangely every where about him; as if hee were desirous to finde him;
replyed。 I saw him not long since; for then he was hard by before
us; questionlesse; he hath given us the slippe; is privilie gone
home to dinner; and making starke fooles of us; hath lefte us to picke
up blacke stones; upon the parching plaines of Mugnone。 Well (quoth
Buffalmaco) this is but the tricke of an hollow…hearted friend; and
not such as he protested himselfe to be; to us。 Could any but wee have
bin so sottish; to credit his frivolous perswasions; hoping to finde
any stones of such vertue; and here on the fruitlesse plains of
Mugnone? No; no; none but we would have beleeved him。
Calandrino (who was close by them) hearing these wordes; and
seeing the whole manner of their wondering behaviour: became
constantly perswaded; that hee had not onely found the precious stone;
but also had some store of them about him; by reason he was so neere
to them; and yet they could not see him; therefore he walked before
them。 Now was his joy beyond all compasse of expression; and being
exceedingly proud of so happy an adventure: did not meane to speake
one word to them; but (heavily laden as hee was) to steale home
faire and softly before them; which indeede he did; leaving them to
follow after; if they would。 Bruno perceiving his intent; said to
Buffalmaco: What remaineth now for us to doe? Why should not we go
home; as well as hee? And reason too; replyed Bruno。 It is in vaine to
tarry any longer heere: but I solemnly protest; Calandrino shall no
more make an Asse of me: and were I now as neere him; as not long
since I was; I would give him such a remembrance on the heele with
this Flint stone; as should sticke by him this moneth; to teach him
a lesson for abusing his friends。
Hee threw the stone; and hit him shrewdly on the heele therewith;
but all was one to Calandrino; whatsoever they saide; or did; as
thus they still followed after him。 And although the blow of the stone
was painfull to him; yet he mended his pace so wel as he was able;
in regard of beeing over…loaden with stones; and gave them not one
word all the way; because he tooke himselfe to bee invisible; and
utterly unseene of them。 Buffalmaco taking uppe another Flintstone;
which was indifferent heavie and sharp; said to Bruno。 Seest thou this
Flint? Casting it from him; he smote Calandrino just in the backe
therewith; saying that Calandrino had bin so neere as I might have hit
him on the backe with the stone。 And thus all the way on the plaine of
Mugnone; they did nothing else but pelt him with stones; even so farre
as the Port of S。 Gall; where they threwe downe what other stones they
had gathered; meaning not to molest him any more; because they had
done enough already。
There they stept before him unto the Port; and acquainted the
Warders with the whole matter; who laughing heartily at the jest;
the better to upholde it; would seeme not to see Calandrino in his
passage by them; but suffered him to go on; sore wearied with his
burthen; and sweating extreamly。 Without resting himselfe in any
place; he came home to his house; which was neere to the corner of the
Milles; Fortune being so favourable to him in the course of this
mockery; that as he passed along the Rivers side; and afterward
through part of the City; he was neither met nor seen by any; in
regard they were all in their houses at dinner。
Calandrino; every minute ready to sinke under his weightie
burthen; entred into his owne house; where (by great ill luck) his
wife; being a comely and very honest woman; and named Monna Trista;
was standing aloft on the stayres head。 She being somewhat angry for
his so long absence; and seeing him come in grunting and groaning;
frowningly said。 I thought that the divell would never let thee come
home; all the whole Citie have dined; and yet wee must remaine without
our dinner。 When Calandrino heard this; and perceived that he was
not invisible to his Wife: full of rage and wroth; hee began to raile;
saying。 Ah thou wicked woman; where art thou? Thou hast utterly undone
me: but (as I live) I will pay thee soundly for it。 Up the staires
he ascended into a small Parlour; where when he hadde spred all his
burthen of stones on the floore: he ran to his wife; catching frer
by the haire of the head; and throwing her at his feete; giving her so
many spurns and cruel blowes; as shee was not able to moove either
armes or legges; notwithstanding all her teares; and humble
submission。
Now Buffalmaco and Bruno; after they had spent an indifferent while;
with the Warders at the Port in laughter; in a faire and gentle
pace; they followed Calandrino home to his house; and being come to
the doore; they heard the harsh bickering betweene him and his Wife;
and seeming as if they were but newly arrived; they called out alowd
to him。 Calandrino being in a sweate; stamping and raving still at his
Wife: looking forth of the window; entreated them to ascend up to him;
which they did; counterfetting greevous displeasure against him。 Being
come into the roome; which they saw all covered over with stones;
his Wife sitting in a corner; all the haire (well…neere) torne off her
head; her face broken and bleeding; and all her body cruelly beaten;
on the other side; Calandrino standing unbraced and ungirded;
strugling and wallowing; like a man quite out of breath: after a
little pausing; Bruno thus spake。
Why how now Calandrino? What may the meaning of this matter be?
What; art thou preparing for building; that thou hast provided such
plenty of stones? How sitteth thy poore wife? How hast thou misused
her? Are these the behaviours of a wise or honest man? Calandrino;
over…spent with travalle; and carrying such an huge burthen of stones;
as also the toylesome beating of his Wife; (but much more impatient
and offended; for that high good Fortune; which he imagined to have
lost:) could not collect his spirits together; to answer them one
ready word; wherefore hee sate fretting like a mad man。 Whereupon;
Buffalmaco thus began to him。 Calandrino; if thou be angry with any
other; yet thou shouldest not have made such a mockery of us; as
thou hast done: in leaving us (like a couple of coxcombes) to the
plaine of Mugnone; whether thou leddest us with thee; to seeke a
precious stone called Helitropium。 And couldst thou steale home; never
bidding us so much as farewell? How can we but take it in very evill
part; that thou shouldest so abuse two honest neighbours? Well; assure
thy selfe; this is the last time that ever thou shalt serve us so。
Calandrino (by this time) being somewhat better come to himselfe;
with an humble protestation of courtesie; returned them this answer。
Alas my good friends; be not you offended; the case is farre otherwise
then you immagine。 Poore unfortunate man that I am; I found the rare
precious stone that you speake of: and marke me well; if I do not tell
you the truth of all。 When you asked one another (the first time) what
was become of me; I was hard by you: at the most; within the
distance of two yards length; and perceiving that you saw mee not;
(being still so neere; and alwaies before you:) I went on; smiling
to my selfe; to heare you brabble and rage against me。
So; proceeding on in his discourse; he recounted every accident as
it hapned; both what they had saide and did unto him; concerning the
severall blowes; with the two Flint…stones; the one hurting him
greevously in the heele; and the other paining him as extreamly in the
backe; with their speeches used then; and his laughter;
notwithstanding hee felt the harme of them both; yet beeing proud that
he did so invisibly beguile them。 Nay more (quoth he) I cannot
forbeare to tell you; that when I passed thorow the Port; I saw you
standing with the Warders; yet; by vertue of that excellent Stone;
undiscovered of you all。 Beside; going along the streets; I met many
of my Gossips; friends; and familiar acquaintance; such as used daylie
to converse with me; and drinking together in every Tavern: yet not
one of them spake to me; neyther used any courtesie or salutation;
which (indeede) I did the more freely forgive them; because they
were not able to see me。
In the end of all when I was come home into mine owne house; this
divellish and accursed woman; being aloft uppon my stayres head; by
much misfortune chanced to see me; in regard (as it is not unknowne to
you) that women cause all things to lose their vertue。 In which
respect; I that could have stild my selfe the onely happy man in
Florence; am now made most miserable。 And therefore did I justly beate
her; so long as she was able to stand against mee; and I know no
reason to the contrary; why I should not yet teare her in a thousand
peeces: for I may well curse the day of our mariage; to hinder and
bereave me of such an invisible blessednesse。
Buffalmaco and Bruno hearing this; made shew of verie much
mervailing thereat; and many times maintained what Calandrino had
said; being well neere ready to burst with laughter; considering;
how