the decameron(十日谈)-第147节

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and　pretending　not　to　see　Calandrino；　albeit　he　was　not　farre　from
them：　What　is　become　of　Calandrino？　saide　Buffalmaco。　Bruno　gazing
strangely　every　where　about　him；　as　if　hee　were　desirous　to　finde　him；
replyed。　I　saw　him　not　long　since；　for　then　he　was　hard　by　before
us；　questionlesse；　he　hath　given　us　the　slippe；　is　privilie　gone
home　to　dinner；　and　making　starke　fooles　of　us；　hath　lefte　us　to　picke
up　blacke　stones；　upon　the　parching　plaines　of　Mugnone。　Well　（quoth
Buffalmaco）　this　is　but　the　tricke　of　an　hollow…hearted　friend；　and
not　such　as　he　protested　himselfe　to　be；　to　us。　Could　any　but　wee　have
bin　so　sottish；　to　credit　his　frivolous　perswasions；　hoping　to　finde
any　stones　of　such　vertue；　and　here　on　the　fruitlesse　plains　of
Mugnone？　No；　no；　none　but　we　would　have　beleeved　him。
　　Calandrino　（who　was　close　by　them）　hearing　these　wordes；　and
seeing　the　whole　manner　of　their　wondering　behaviour：　became
constantly　perswaded；　that　hee　had　not　onely　found　the　precious　stone；
but　also　had　some　store　of　them　about　him；　by　reason　he　was　so　neere
to　them；　and　yet　they　could　not　see　him；　therefore　he　walked　before
them。　Now　was　his　joy　beyond　all　compasse　of　expression；　and　being
exceedingly　proud　of　so　happy　an　adventure：　did　not　meane　to　speake
one　word　to　them；　but　（heavily　laden　as　hee　was）　to　steale　home
faire　and　softly　before　them；　which　indeede　he　did；　leaving　them　to
follow　after；　if　they　would。　Bruno　perceiving　his　intent；　said　to
Buffalmaco：　What　remaineth　now　for　us　to　doe？　Why　should　not　we　go
home；　as　well　as　hee？　And　reason　too；　replyed　Bruno。　It　is　in　vaine　to
tarry　any　longer　heere：　but　I　solemnly　protest；　Calandrino　shall　no
more　make　an　Asse　of　me：　and　were　I　now　as　neere　him；　as　not　long
since　I　was；　I　would　give　him　such　a　remembrance　on　the　heele　with
this　Flint　stone；　as　should　sticke　by　him　this　moneth；　to　teach　him
a　lesson　for　abusing　his　friends。
　　Hee　threw　the　stone；　and　hit　him　shrewdly　on　the　heele　therewith；
but　all　was　one　to　Calandrino；　whatsoever　they　saide；　or　did；　as
thus　they　still　followed　after　him。　And　although　the　blow　of　the　stone
was　painfull　to　him；　yet　he　mended　his　pace　so　wel　as　he　was　able；
in　regard　of　beeing　over…loaden　with　stones；　and　gave　them　not　one
word　all　the　way；　because　he　tooke　himselfe　to　bee　invisible；　and
utterly　unseene　of　them。　Buffalmaco　taking　uppe　another　Flintstone；
which　was　indifferent　heavie　and　sharp；　said　to　Bruno。　Seest　thou　this
Flint？　Casting　it　from　him；　he　smote　Calandrino　just　in　the　backe
therewith；　saying　that　Calandrino　had　bin　so　neere　as　I　might　have　hit
him　on　the　backe　with　the　stone。　And　thus　all　the　way　on　the　plaine　of
Mugnone；　they　did　nothing　else　but　pelt　him　with　stones；　even　so　farre
as　the　Port　of　S。　Gall；　where　they　threwe　downe　what　other　stones　they
had　gathered；　meaning　not　to　molest　him　any　more；　because　they　had
done　enough　already。
　　There　they　stept　before　him　unto　the　Port；　and　acquainted　the
Warders　with　the　whole　matter；　who　laughing　heartily　at　the　jest；
the　better　to　upholde　it；　would　seeme　not　to　see　Calandrino　in　his
passage　by　them；　but　suffered　him　to　go　on；　sore　wearied　with　his
burthen；　and　sweating　extreamly。　Without　resting　himselfe　in　any
place；　he　came　home　to　his　house；　which　was　neere　to　the　corner　of　the
Milles；　Fortune　being　so　favourable　to　him　in　the　course　of　this
mockery；　that　as　he　passed　along　the　Rivers　side；　and　afterward
through　part　of　the　City；　he　was　neither　met　nor　seen　by　any；　in
regard　they　were　all　in　their　houses　at　dinner。
　　Calandrino；　every　minute　ready　to　sinke　under　his　weightie
burthen；　entred　into　his　owne　house；　where　（by　great　ill　luck）　his
wife；　being　a　comely　and　very　honest　woman；　and　named　Monna　Trista；
was　standing　aloft　on　the　stayres　head。　She　being　somewhat　angry　for
his　so　long　absence；　and　seeing　him　come　in　grunting　and　groaning；
frowningly　said。　I　thought　that　the　divell　would　never　let　thee　come
home；　all　the　whole　Citie　have　dined；　and　yet　wee　must　remaine　without
our　dinner。　When　Calandrino　heard　this；　and　perceived　that　he　was
not　invisible　to　his　Wife：　full　of　rage　and　wroth；　hee　began　to　raile；
saying。　Ah　thou　wicked　woman；　where　art　thou？　Thou　hast　utterly　undone
me：　but　（as　I　live）　I　will　pay　thee　soundly　for　it。　Up　the　staires
he　ascended　into　a　small　Parlour；　where　when　he　hadde　spred　all　his
burthen　of　stones　on　the　floore：　he　ran　to　his　wife；　catching　frer
by　the　haire　of　the　head；　and　throwing　her　at　his　feete；　giving　her　so
many　spurns　and　cruel　blowes；　as　shee　was　not　able　to　moove　either
armes　or　legges；　notwithstanding　all　her　teares；　and　humble
submission。
　　Now　Buffalmaco　and　Bruno；　after　they　had　spent　an　indifferent　while；
with　the　Warders　at　the　Port　in　laughter；　in　a　faire　and　gentle
pace；　they　followed　Calandrino　home　to　his　house；　and　being　come　to
the　doore；　they　heard　the　harsh　bickering　betweene　him　and　his　Wife；
and　seeming　as　if　they　were　but　newly　arrived；　they　called　out　alowd
to　him。　Calandrino　being　in　a　sweate；　stamping　and　raving　still　at　his
Wife：　looking　forth　of　the　window；　entreated　them　to　ascend　up　to　him；
which　they　did；　counterfetting　greevous　displeasure　against　him。　Being
come　into　the　roome；　which　they　saw　all　covered　over　with　stones；
his　Wife　sitting　in　a　corner；　all　the　haire　（well…neere）　torne　off　her
head；　her　face　broken　and　bleeding；　and　all　her　body　cruelly　beaten；
on　the　other　side；　Calandrino　standing　unbraced　and　ungirded；
strugling　and　wallowing；　like　a　man　quite　out　of　breath：　after　a
little　pausing；　Bruno　thus　spake。
　　Why　how　now　Calandrino？　What　may　the　meaning　of　this　matter　be？
What；　art　thou　preparing　for　building；　that　thou　hast　provided　such
plenty　of　stones？　How　sitteth　thy　poore　wife？　How　hast　thou　misused
her？　Are　these　the　behaviours　of　a　wise　or　honest　man？　Calandrino；
over…spent　with　travalle；　and　carrying　such　an　huge　burthen　of　stones；
as　also　the　toylesome　beating　of　his　Wife；　（but　much　more　impatient
and　offended；　for　that　high　good　Fortune；　which　he　imagined　to　have
lost：）　could　not　collect　his　spirits　together；　to　answer　them　one
ready　word；　wherefore　hee　sate　fretting　like　a　mad　man。　Whereupon；
Buffalmaco　thus　began　to　him。　Calandrino；　if　thou　be　angry　with　any
other；　yet　thou　shouldest　not　have　made　such　a　mockery　of　us；　as
thou　hast　done：　in　leaving　us　（like　a　couple　of　coxcombes）　to　the
plaine　of　Mugnone；　whether　thou　leddest　us　with　thee；　to　seeke　a
precious　stone　called　Helitropium。　And　couldst　thou　steale　home；　never
bidding　us　so　much　as　farewell？　How　can　we　but　take　it　in　very　evill
part；　that　thou　shouldest　so　abuse　two　honest　neighbours？　Well；　assure
thy　selfe；　this　is　the　last　time　that　ever　thou　shalt　serve　us　so。
　　Calandrino　（by　this　time）　being　somewhat　better　come　to　himselfe；
with　an　humble　protestation　of　courtesie；　returned　them　this　answer。
Alas　my　good　friends；　be　not　you　offended；　the　case　is　farre　otherwise
then　you　immagine。　Poore　unfortunate　man　that　I　am；　I　found　the　rare
precious　stone　that　you　speake　of：　and　marke　me　well；　if　I　do　not　tell
you　the　truth　of　all。　When　you　asked　one　another　（the　first　time）　what
was　become　of　me；　I　was　hard　by　you：　at　the　most；　within　the
distance　of　two　yards　length；　and　perceiving　that　you　saw　mee　not；
（being　still　so　neere；　and　alwaies　before　you：）　I　went　on；　smiling
to　my　selfe；　to　heare　you　brabble　and　rage　against　me。
　　So；　proceeding　on　in　his　discourse；　he　recounted　every　accident　as
it　hapned；　both　what　they　had　saide　and　did　unto　him；　concerning　the
severall　blowes；　with　the　two　Flint…stones；　the　one　hurting　him
greevously　in　the　heele；　and　the　other　paining　him　as　extreamly　in　the
backe；　with　their　speeches　used　then；　and　his　laughter；
notwithstanding　hee　felt　the　harme　of　them　both；　yet　beeing　proud　that
he　did　so　invisibly　beguile　them。　Nay　more　（quoth　he）　I　cannot
forbeare　to　tell　you；　that　when　I　passed　thorow　the　Port；　I　saw　you
standing　with　the　Warders；　yet；　by　vertue　of　that　excellent　Stone；
undiscovered　of　you　all。　Beside；　going　along　the　streets；　I　met　many
of　my　Gossips；　friends；　and　familiar　acquaintance；　such　as　used　daylie
to　converse　with　me；　and　drinking　together　in　every　Tavern：　yet　not
one　of　them　spake　to　me；　neyther　used　any　courtesie　or　salutation；
which　（indeede）　I　did　the　more　freely　forgive　them；　because　they
were　not　able　to　see　me。
　　In　the　end　of　all　when　I　was　come　home　into　mine　owne　house；　this
divellish　and　accursed　woman；　being　aloft　uppon　my　stayres　head；　by
much　misfortune　chanced　to　see　me；　in　regard　（as　it　is　not　unknowne　to
you）　that　women　cause　all　things　to　lose　their　vertue。　In　which
respect；　I　that　could　have　stild　my　selfe　the　onely　happy　man　in
Florence；　am　now　made　most　miserable。　And　therefore　did　I　justly　beate
her；　so　long　as　she　was　able　to　stand　against　mee；　and　I　know　no
reason　to　the　contrary；　why　I　should　not　yet　teare　her　in　a　thousand
peeces：　for　I　may　well　curse　the　day　of　our　mariage；　to　hinder　and
bereave　me　of　such　an　invisible　blessednesse。
　　Buffalmaco　and　Bruno　hearing　this；　made　shew　of　verie　much
mervailing　thereat；　and　many　times　maintained　what　Calandrino　had
said；　being　well　neere　ready　to　burst　with　laughter；　considering；
how