the man of the forest-第31节

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of　nature。　　There　is　always　a　perfect　balance　kept　by　nature。
It　may　vary　in　different　years；　but　on　the　whole；　in　the
long　years；　it　averages　an　even　balance。〃

〃How　wonderfully　you　put　it！〃　exclaimed　Bo；　with　all　her
impulsiveness。　　〃Oh；　I'm　glad　I　didn't　kill　the　lion。〃

〃What　you　say　somehow　hurts　me；〃　said　Helen；　wistfully；　to
the　hunter。　　〃I　see　　I　feel　how　true　　how　inevitable　it
is。　　But　it　changes　my　　my　feelings。　　Almost　I'd　rather　not
acquire　such　knowledge　as　yours。　　This　balance　of　nature　
how　tragic　　how　sad！〃

〃But　why？〃　asked　Dale。　　〃You　love　birds；　an'　birds　are　the
greatest　killers　in　the　forest。〃

〃Don't　tell　me　that　　don't　prove　it；〃　implored　Helen。　　It
is　not　so　much　the　love　of　life　in　a　deer　or　any　creature；
and　the　terrible　clinging　to　life；　that　gives　me　distress。
It　is　suffering。　　I　can't　bear　to　see　pain。　　I　can　STAND　pain
myself；　but　I　can't　BEAR　to　see　or　think　of　it。〃

〃Well；〃　replied。　　Dale；　thoughtfully；　〃There　you　stump　me
again。　　I've　lived　long　in　the　forest　an'　when　a　man's　alone
he　does　a　heap　of　thinkin'。　　An'　always　I　couldn't　understand
a　reason　or　a　meanin'　for　pain。　　Of　all　the　bafflin'　things
of　life；　that　is　the　hardest　to　understand　an'　to　forgive　
pain！〃


That　evening；　as　they　sat　in　restful　places　round　the
camp…fire；　with　the　still　twilight　fading　into　night；　Dale
seriously　asked　the　girls　what　the　day's　chase　had　meant　to
them。　　His　manner　of　asking　was　productive　of　thought。　　Both
girls　were　silent　for　a　moment。

〃Glorious！〃　was　Bo's　brief　and　eloquent　reply。

〃Why？〃　asked。　　Dale；　curiously。　　〃You　are　a　girl。　　You've　been
used　to　home；　people；　love；　comfort；　safety；　quiet。〃

〃Maybe　that　is　just　why　it　was　glorious；〃　said　Bo；
earnestly。　　〃I　can　hardly　explain。　　I　loved　the　motion　of　the
horse；　the　feel　of　wind　in　my　face；　the　smell　of　the　pine；
the　sight　of　slope　and　forest　glade　and　windfall　and　rocks；
and　the　black　shade　under　the　spruces。　　My　blood　beat　and
burned。　　My　teeth　clicked。　　My　nerves　all　quivered。　　My　heart
sometimes；　at　dangerous　moments；　almost　choked　me；　and　all
the　time　it　pounded　hard。　　Now　my　skin　was　hot　and　then　it
was　cold。　　But　I　think　the　best　of　that　chase　for　me　was　that
I　was　on　a　fast　horse；　guiding　him；　controlling　him。　　He　was
alive。　　Oh；　how　I　felt　his　running！〃

〃Well；　what　you　say　is　as　natural　to　me　as　if　I　felt　it；〃
said　Dale。　　〃I　wondered。　　You're　certainly　full　of　fire；　An'；
Helen；　what　do　you　say？〃

〃Bo　has　answered　you　with　her　feelings；〃　replied　Helen；　〃I
could　not　do　that　and　be　honest。　　The　fact　that　Bo　wouldn't
shoot　the　lion　after　we　treed　him　acquits　her。　　Nevertheless；
her　answer　is　purely　physical。　　You　know；　Mr。　　Dale；　how　you
talk　about　the　physical。　　I　should　say　my　sister　was　just　a
young；　wild；　highly　sensitive；　hot…blooded　female　of　the
species。　　She　exulted　in　that　chase　as　an　Indian。　　Her
sensations　were　inherited　ones　　certainly　not　acquired　by
education。　　Bo　always　hated　study。　　The　ride　was　a　revelation
to　me。　　I　had　a　good　many　of　Bo's　feelings　　though　not　so
strong。　　But　over　against　them　was　the　opposition　of　reason；
of　consciousness。　　A　new…born　side　of　my　nature　confronted
me；　strange；　surprising；　violent；　irresistible。　　It　was　as　if
another　side　of　my　personality　suddenly　said：　'Here　I　am。
Reckon　with　me　now！'　And　there　was　no　use　for　the　moment　to
oppose　that　strange　side。　　I　　the　thinking　Helen　Rayner；
was　powerless。　　Oh　yes；　I　had　such　thoughts　even　when　the
branches　were　stinging　my　face　and　I　was　thrilling　to　the
bay　of　the　hound。　　Once　my　horse　fell　and　threw　me。　。　。　。　　You
needn't　look　alarmed。　　It　was　fine。　　I　went　into　a　soft　place
and　was　unhurt。　　But　when　I　was　sailing　through　the　air　a
thought　flashed：　this　is　the　end　of　me！　　It　was　like　a　dream
when　you　are　falling　dreadfully。　　Much　of　what　I　felt　and
thought　on　that　chase　must　have　been　because　of　what　I　have
studied　and　read　and　taught。　　The　reality　of　it；　the　action
and　flash；　were　splendid。　　But　fear　of　danger；　pity　for　the
chased　lion；　consciousness　of　foolish　risk；　of　a　reckless
disregard　for　the　serious　responsibility　I　have　taken　　all
these　worked　in　my　mind　and　held　back　what　might　have　been　a
sheer　physical；　primitive　joy　of　the　wild　moment。〃

Dale　listened　intently；　and　after　Helen　had　finished　he
studied　the　fire　and　thoughtfully　poked　the　red　embers　with
his　stick。　　His　face　was　still　and　serene；　untroubled　and
unlined；　but　to　Helen　his　eyes　seemed　sad；　pensive；
expressive　of　an　unsatisfied　yearning　and　wonder。　　She　had
carefully　and　earnestly　spoken；　because　she　was　very　curious
to　hear　what　he　might　say。

〃I　understand　you；〃　he　replied；　presently。　　〃An'　I'm　sure
surprised　that　I　can。　　I've　read　my　books　　an'　reread　them；
but　no　one　ever　talked　like　that　to　me。　　What　I　make　of　it　is
this。　　You've　the　same　blood　in　you　that's　in　Bo。　　An'　blood
is　stronger　than　brain。　　Remember　that　blood　is　life。　　It
would　be　good　for　you　to　have　it　run　an'　beat　an'　burn；　as
Bo's　did。　　Your　blood　did　that　a　thousand　years　or　ten
thousand　before　intellect　was　born　in　your　ancestors。
Instinct　may　not　be　greater　than　reason；　but　it's　a　million
years　older。　　Don't　fight　your　instincts　so　hard。　　If　they
were　not　good　the　God　of　Creation　would　not　have　given　them
to　you。　　To…day　your　mind　was　full　of　self…restraint　that　did
not　altogether　restrain。　　You　couldn't　forget　yourself。　　You
couldn't　FEEL　only；　as　Bo　did。　　You　couldn't　be　true　to　your
real　nature。〃

〃I　don't　agree　with　you；〃　replied　Helen；　quickly。　　〃I　don't
have　to　be　an　Indian　to　be　true　to　myself。〃

〃Why；　yes　you　do；〃　said　Dale。

〃But　I　couldn't　be　an　Indian；〃　declared　Helen；　spiritedly。
〃I　couldn't　FEEL　only；　as　you　say　Bo　did。　　I　couldn't　go　back
in　the　scale；　as　you　hint。　　What　would　all　my　education
amount　to　　though　goodness　knows　it's　little　enough　　if
I　had　no　control　over　primitive　feelings　that　happened　to　be
born　in　me？〃

〃You'll　have　little　or　no　control　over　them　when　the　right
time　comes；〃　replied　Dale。　　〃Your　sheltered　life　an'
education　have　led　you　away　from　natural　instincts。　　But
they're　in　you　an'　you'll　learn　the　proof　of　that　out　here。〃

〃No。　　Not　if　I　lived　a　hundred　years　in　the　West；〃　asserted
Helen。

〃But；　child；　do　you　know　what　you're　talkin'　about？〃

Here　Bo　let　out　a　blissful　peal　of　laughter。

〃Mr。　　Dale！〃　exclaimed　Helen；　almost　affronted。　　She　was
stirred。　　〃I　know　MYSELF；　at　least。〃

〃But　you　do　not。　　You've　no　idea　of　yourself。　　You've
education；　yes；　but　not　in　nature　an'　life。　　An'　after　all；
they　are　the　real　things。　　Answer　me；　now　　honestly；　will
you？〃

〃Certainly；　if　I　can。　　Some　of　your　questions　are　hard　to
answer。〃

〃Have　you　ever　been　starved？〃　he　asked。

〃No；〃　replied　Helen。

〃Have　you　ever　been　lost　away　from　home　？〃

〃No。〃

〃Have　you　ever　faced　death　　real　stark　an'　naked　death；
close　an'　terrible？〃

〃No；　indeed。〃

〃Have　you　ever　wanted　to　kill　any　one　with　your　bare　hands？〃

〃Oh；　Mr。　　Dale；　you　　you　amaze　me。　　No！　　。　。　。　　No！〃

〃I　reckon　I　know　your　answer　to　my　last　question；　but　I'll
ask　it；　anyhow。　。　。　。　　Have　you　ever　been　so　madly　in　love
with　a　man　that　you　could　not　live　without　him？〃

Bo　fell　off　her　seat　with　a　high；　trilling　laugh。　　〃Oh；　you
two　are　great！〃

〃Thank　Heaven；　I　haven't　been；〃　replied　Helen；　shortly。

〃Then　you　don't　know　anythin'　about　life；〃　declared　Dale；
with　finality。

Helen　was　not　to　be　put　down　by　that；　dubious　and　troubled
as　it　made　her。

〃Have　you　experienced　all　those　things？〃　she　queried；
stubbornly。

〃All　but　the　last　one。　　Love　never　came　my　way。　　How　could　it？
I　live　alone。　　I　seldom　go　to　the　villages　where　there　are
girls。　　No　girl　would　ever　care　for　me。　　I　have　nothin'。　。　。　。
But；　all　the　same；　I　understand　love　a　little；　just　by
comparison　with　strong　feelin's　I've　lived。〃

Helen　watched　the　hunter　and　marveled　at　his　simplicity。　　His
sad　and　penetrating　gaze　was　on　the　fire；　as　if　in　its　white
heart　to　read　the　secret　denied　him。　　He　had　said　that　no
girl　would　ever　love　him。　　She　imagined　he　might　know
considerably　less　about　the　nature　of　girls　than　of　the
forest。

〃To　come　back　to　myself；〃　said　Helen；　wanting　to　continue
the　argument。　　〃You　declared　I　didn't　know　myself。　　That　I
would　have　no　self…control。　　I　will！〃

〃I　meant　the　big　things　of　life；〃　he　said；　patiently。

〃What　things？〃

〃I　told　you。　　By　askin'　what　had　never　happened　to　you　I
learned　what　will　happen。〃

〃Those　experiences　to　come　to　ME！〃　breathed　Helen；
incredulously。　　〃Never！〃

〃Sister　Nell；　they　sure　will　　particularly　the　last…named
one　　the　mad　love；〃　chimed　in　Bo；　mischievously；　yet
believingly。

Neither　Dale　nor　Helen　appeared　to　hear　her　interruption。

〃Let　me　put　it　simpler；〃　began　Dale；　evidently　racking　his
brain　for　analogy。　　His　perplexity　appeared　painful　to　him；
because　he　had　a　great　faith；　a　great　conviction　that　he
could　not　make　clear。　　〃Here　I　am；　the　natural　physical　man；
livin'　in　the　wilds。　　An'　here　you　come；　the　complex；
intellectual　woman。　　Remember；　for　my　argument's　sake；　that
you're　here。　　An'　suppose　circumstances　forced　you　to　stay
here。　　You'd　fight　the　elements　with　me　an'　work　with　me　to
sustain　lif