the magic skin-第15节
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Does it make much difference whether we shall hide our gray heads
beneath lace or a handkerchief striped with blue and red; whether we
sweep a crossing with a birch broom; or the steps of the Tuileries
with satins; whether we sit beside a gilded hearth; or cower over the
ashes in a red earthen pot; whether we go to the Opera or look on in
the Place de Greve?〃
〃Aquilina mia; you have never shown more sense than in this depressing
fit of yours;〃 Euphrasia remarked。 〃Yes; cashmere; point d'Alencon;
perfumes; gold; silks; luxury; everything that sparkles; everything
pleasant; belongs to youth alone。 Time alone may show us our folly;
but good fortune will acquit us。 You are laughing at me;〃 she went on;
with a malicious glance at the friends; 〃but am I not right? I would
sooner die of pleasure than of illness。 I am not afflicted with a
mania for perpetuity; nor have I a great veneration for human nature;
such as God has made it。 Give me millions; and I would squander them;
I should not keep one centime for the year to come。 Live to be
charming and have power; that is the decree of my every heartbeat。
Society sanctions my life; does it not pay for my extravagances? Why
does Providence pay me every morning my income; which I spend every
evening? Why are hospitals built for us? And Providence did not put
good and evil on either hand for us to select what tires and pains us。
I should be very foolish if I did not amuse myself。〃
〃And how about others?〃 asked Emile。
〃Others? Oh; well; they must manage for themselves。 I prefer laughing
at their woes to weeping over my own。 I defy any man to give me the
slightest uneasiness。〃
〃What have you suffered to make you think like this?〃 asked Raphael。
〃I myself have been forsaken for an inheritance;〃 she said; striking
an attitude that displayed all her charms; 〃and yet I had worked night
and day to keep my lover! I am not to be gulled by any smile or vow;
and I have set myself to make one long entertainment of my life。〃
〃But does not happiness come from the soul within?〃 cried Raphael。
〃It may be so;〃 Aquilina answered; 〃but is it nothing to be conscious
of admiration and flattery; to triumph over other women; even over the
most virtuous; humiliating them before our beauty and our splendor?
Not only so; one day of our life is worth ten years of a bourgeoise
existence; and so it is all summed up。〃
〃Is not a woman hateful without virtue?〃 Emile said to Raphael。
Euphrasia's glance was like a viper's; as she said; with an irony in
her voice that cannot be rendered:
〃Virtue! we leave that to deformity and to ugly women。 What would the
poor things be without it?〃
〃Hush; be quiet;〃 Emile broke in。 〃Don't talk about something you have
never known。〃
〃That I have never known!〃 Euphrasia answered。 〃You give yourself for
life to some person you abominate; you must bring up children who will
neglect you; who wound your very heart; and you must say; 'Thank you!'
for it; and these are the virtues you prescribe to woman。 And that is
not enough。 By way of requiting her self…denial; you must come and add
to her sorrows by trying to lead her astray; and though you are
rebuffed; she is compromised。 A nice life! How far better to keep
one's freedom; to follow one's inclinations in love; and die young!〃
〃Have you no fear of the price to be paid some day for all this?〃
〃Even then;〃 she said; 〃instead of mingling pleasures and troubles; my
life will consist of two separate partsa youth of happiness is
secure; and there may come a hazy; uncertain old age; during which I
can suffer at my leisure。〃
〃She has never loved;〃 came in the deep tones of Aquilina's voice。
〃She never went a hundred leagues to drink in one look and a denial
with untold raptures。 She has not hung her own life on a thread; nor
tried to stab more than one man to save her sovereign lord; her king;
her divinity。 。 。 。 Love; for her; meant a fascinating colonel。〃
〃Here she is with her La Rochelle;〃 Euphrasia made answer。 〃Love comes
like the wind; no one knows whence。 And; for that matter; if one of
those brutes had once fallen in love with you; you would hold sensible
men in horror。〃
〃Brutes are put out of the question by the Code;〃 said the tall;
sarcastic Aquilina。
〃I thought you had more kindness for the army;〃 laughed Euphrasia。
〃How happy they are in their power of dethroning their reason in this
way;〃 Raphael exclaimed。
〃Happy?〃 asked Aquilina; with dreadful look; and a smile full of pity
and terror。 〃Ah; you do not know what it is to be condemned to a life
of pleasure; with your dead hidden in your heart。 。 。 。〃
A moment's consideration of the rooms was like a foretaste of Milton's
Pandemonium。 The faces of those still capable of drinking wore a
hideous blue tint; from burning draughts of punch。 Mad dances were
kept up with wild energy; excited laughter and outcries broke out like
the explosion of fireworks。 The boudoir and a small adjoining room
were strewn like a battlefield with the insensible and incapable。
Wine; pleasure; and dispute had heated the atmosphere。 Wine and love;
delirium and unconsciousness possessed them; and were written upon all
faces; upon the furniture; were expressed by the surrounding disorder;
and brought light films over the vision of those assembled; so that
the air seemed full of intoxicating vapor。 A glittering dust arose; as
in the luminous paths made by a ray of sunlight; the most bizarre
forms flitted through it; grotesque struggles were seen athwart it。
Groups of interlaced figures blended with the white marbles; the noble
masterpieces of sculpture that adorned the rooms。
Though the two friends yet preserved a sort of fallacious clearness in
their ideas and voices; a feeble appearance and faint thrill of
animation; it was yet almost impossible to distinguish what was real
among the fantastic absurdities before them; or what foundation there
was for the impossible pictures that passed unceasingly before their
weary eyes。 The strangest phenomena of dreams beset them; the lowering
heavens; the fervid sweetness caught by faces in our visions; and
unheard…of agility under a load of chains;all these so vividly; that
they took the pranks of the orgy about them for the freaks of some
nightmare in which all movement is silent; and cries never reach the
ear。 The valet de chambre succeeded just then; after some little
difficulty; in drawing his master into the ante…chamber to whisper to
him:
〃The neighbors are all at their windows; complaining of the racket;
sir。〃
〃If noise alarms them; why don't they lay down straw before their
doors?〃 was Taillefer's rejoinder。
Raphael's sudden burst of laughter was so unseasonable and abrupt;
that his friend demanded the reason of his unseemly hilarity。
〃You will hardly understand me;〃 he replied。 〃In the first place; I
must admit that you stopped me on the Quai Voltaire just as I was
about to throw myself into the Seine; and you would like to know; no
doubt; my motives for dying。 And when I proceed to tell you that by an
almost miraculous chance the most poetic memorials of the material
world had but just then been summed up for me as a symbolical
interpretation of human wisdom; whilst at this minute the remains of
all the intellectual treasures ravaged by us at table are comprised in
these two women; the living and authentic types of folly; would you be
any the wiser? Our profound apathy towards men and things supplied the
half…tones in a crudely contrasted picture of two theories of life so
diametrically opposed。 If you were not drunk; you might perhaps catch
a gleam of philosophy in this。〃
〃And if you had not both feet on that fascinating Aquilina; whose
heavy breathing suggests an analogy with the sounds of a storm about
to burst;〃 replied Emile; absently engaged in the harmless amusement
of winding and unwinding Euphrasia's hair; 〃you would be ashamed of
your inebriated garrulity。 Both your systems can be packed in a
phrase; and reduced to a single idea。 The mere routine of living
brings a stupid kind of wisdom with it; by blunting our intelligence
with work; and on the other hand; a life passed in the limbo of the
abstract or in the abysses of the moral world; produces a sort of
wisdom run mad。 The conditions may be summed up in brief; we may
extinguish emotion; and so live to old age; or we may choose to die
young as martyrs to contending passions。 And yet this decree is at
variance with the temperaments with which we were endowed by the
bitter jester who modeled all creatures。〃
〃Idiot!〃 Raphael burst in。 〃Go on epitomizing yourself after that
fashion; and you will fill volumes。 If I attempted to formulate those
two ideas clearly; I might as well say that man is corrupted by the
exercise of his wits; and purified by ignorance。 You are calling the
whole fabric of society to