poor miss finch-第74节

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an　alkaline　draught；　Mrs。　Finch；　to　be　taken　after　meals。　Don't　speak；
don't　move！　Give　me　your　pulse。　I　hold　Miss　Batchford　accountable；　Madame
Pratolungo；　for　whatever　happensmy　daughter　is　a　mere　instrument　in　the
hands　of　my　first　wife's　family。　Give　me　your　pulse；　Mrs。　Finch。　I　don't
like　your　pulse。　Come　up…stairs　directly。　A　recumbent　position；　and
another　warm　bathunder　Providence；　Madame　Pratolungo！may　parry　the
Blow。　Would　you　kindly　open　the　door；　and　pick　up　Mrs。　Finch's
handkerchief？　Never　mind　the　novelthe　handkerchief。〃

I　seized　my　first　opportunity　of　speaking　again；　while　Mr。　Finch　was
conducting　his　wife　（with　his　arm　round　her　waist）　to　the　doorputting
the　question　which　I　had　been　waiting　to　ask；　in　this　cautious　form：

〃Do　you　propose　to　communicate；　sir；　either　with　your　daughter　or　with
Miss　Batchford；　while　Lucilla　is　away　from　the　rectory？　My　object　in
venturing　to　ask〃

Before　I　could　state　my　object；　Mr。　Finch　turned　round　（turning　Mrs。
Finch　with　him）　and　surveyed　me　from　head　to　foot　with　a　look　of
indignant　astonishment。

〃Is　it　possible　you　can　see　this　double　Wreck；〃　said　Mr。　Finch；
indicating　his　wife　and　child；　〃and　suppose　that　I　would　communicate　or
sanction　communication　of　any　sort；　with　the　persons　who　are　responsible
for　it？My　dear！　Can　you　account　for　Madame　Pratolungo's　extraordinary
question？　Am　I　to　understand　（do　_you_　understand）　that　Madame　Pratolungo
is　insulting　me？〃

It　was　useless　to　try　to　explain　myself。　It　was　useless　for　Mrs。　Finch
（who　had　made　several　abortive　efforts　to　put　in　a　word　or　two；　on　her
own　part）　to　attempt　to　pacify　her　husband。　All　the　poor　damp　lady　could
do　was　to　beg　me　to　write　to　her　from　foreign　parts。　〃I'm　sorry　you're　in
trouble；　and　I　should　really　be　glad　to　hear　from　you。〃　Mrs。　Finch　had
barely　time　to　say　those　kind　wordsbefore　the　rector；　in　a　voice　of
thunder；　desired　me　to　look　at　〃that　double　Wreck；　and　respect　it　if　I
did　not　respect　_him_〃and　with　that　walked　himself；　his　wife；　and　his
baby　out　of　the　room。

Having　gained　the　object　which　had　brought　me　into　the　study；　I　made　no
attempt　to　detain　him。　The　little　sense　the　man　possessed　at　the　best　of
times；　was　completely　upset　by　the　shock　which　Lucilla's　abrupt　departure
had　inflicted　on　his　high　opinion　of　his　own　importance。　That　he　would
end　in　being　reconciled　to　his　daughterbefore　her　next　subscription　to
the　household　expenses　fell　duewas　a　matter　of　downright　certainty。
But；　until　that　time　came；　I　felt　equally　sure　that　he　would　vindicate
his　outraged　dignity　by　declining　to　hold　any　communication；　in　person　or
in　writing；　with　Ramsgate。　During　the　short　term　of　my　absence　from
England；　Miss　Batchford　would　be　left　as　ignorant　of　her　niece's　perilous
position　between　the　twin…brothers；　as　Lucilla　herself。　To　know　this　was
to　have　gained　the　information　that　I　wanted。　Nothing　was　left　but　to　set
my　brains　to　work　at　once；　and　act　on　it。

How　was　I　to　act　on　it？

On　the　spur　of　the　moment；　I　could　see　but　one　way。　If　Grosse　pronounced
Lucilla's　recovery　to　be　complete；　before　I　returned　from　abroad；　the
best　thing　I　could　do　would　be　to　put　Miss　Batchford　in　a　position　to
reveal　the　truth　in　my　placewithout　running　any　risk　of　a　premature
discovery。　In　other　words；　without　letting　the　old　lady　into　the　secret；
before　the　time　arrived　at　which　it　could　be　safely　divulged。

This　apparently　intricate　difficulty　was　easily　overcome；　by　writing　two
letters　（before　I　went　away）　instead　of　one。

The　first　letter　I　addressed　to　Lucilla。　Without　any　reference　to　her
behavior　to　me；　I　stated；　in　the　fullest　detail　and　with　all　needful
delicacy；　her　position　between　Oscar　and　Nugent：　and　referred　her　for
proof　of　the　truth　of　my　assertions　to　her　relatives　at　the　rectory。　〃I
leave　it　entirely　to　your　discretion〃　（I　added）　〃to　write　me　an　answer　or
not。　Put　the　warning　which　I　now　give　you　to　the　proof；　and　if　you　wonder
why　it　has　been　so　long　delayed；　apply　to　Herr　Grosse　on　whom　the　whole
responsibility　rests。〃　There　I　ended；　being　resolved；　after　the　wrong
that　Lucilla　had　inflicted　on　me；　to　leave　my　justification　to　facts。　I
confess　I　was　too　deeply　wounded　by　her　conductthough　I　_did_　lay　all
the　blame　of　it　on　Nugentto　care　to　say　a　word　in　my　own　defence。

This　letter　sealed；　I　wrote　next　to　Lucilla's　aunt。

It　was　not　an　easy　matter　to　address　Miss　Batchford。　The　contempt　with
which　she　regarded　Mr。　Finch's　opinions　in　politics　and　religion；　was
more　than　matched　by　the　strong　aversion　which　she　felt　for　my　republican
opinions。　I　have　already　mentioned；　far　back　in　these　pages；　that　a
dispute　on　politics　between　the　Tory　old　lady　and　myself　ended　in　a
quarrel　between　us；　which　closed　the　doors　of　her　house　on　me　from　that
time　forth。　Knowing　this；　I　ventured　on　writing　to　her　nevertheless；
because　I　also　knew　Miss　Batchford　to　be　（apart　from　her　furious
prejudices）　a　gentlewoman　in　the　best　sense　of　the　word；　devotedly
attached　to　her　niece；　and　quite　as　capable；　when　that　devotion　was
appealed　to；　of　doing　justice　to　me　（apart　from　_my_　furious　prejudices）
as　I　was　of　doing　justice　to　her。　Writing　in　a　tone　of　unaffected
respect；　and　appealing　to　her　forbearance　to　encourage　mine；　I　requested
her　to　hand　my　letter　to　Lucilla　on　the　day　when　the　surgeon　reported
that　all　further　necessity　for　his　attendance　had　ceased。　In　the　interval
before　this　happened；　I　entreated　Miss　Batchford；　in　her　niece's
interests；　to　consider　my　letter　as　a　strictly　private　communication；
adding；　that　my　sufficient　reason　for　venturing　to　make　this　condition
would　be　found　in　my　letter　to　Lucillawhich　I　authorized　her　aunt　to
read　as　soon　as　the　time　had　arrived　for　opening　it。

By　this　means　I　had；　as　I　firmly　believed；　taken　the　only　possible　way　of
preventing　Nugent　Dubourg　from　doing　any　serious　mischief　in　my　absence。

Whatever　his　uncontrolled　infatuation　for　Lucilla　might　lead　him　to　do
next；　he　could　proceed　to　no　serious　extremities　until　Grosse　pronounced
her　recovery　to　be　complete。　On　the　day　when　Grosse　did　that；　she　would
receive　my　letter；　and　would　discover　for　herself　the　abominable
deception　which　had　been　practiced　on　her。　As　to　attempting　to　find
Nugent；　no　idea　of　doing　this　entered　my　mind。　Wherever　he　might　be；　at
home　or　abroad；　it　would　be　equally　useless　to　appeal　to　his　honor　again。
It　would　be　degrading　myself　to　speak　to　him　or　to　trust　him。　To　expose
him　to　Lucilla　the　moment　it　became　possible　was　the　one　thing　to　be
done。　I　was　ready　with　my　letters；　one　enclosed　in　the　other；　when　good
Mr。　Gootheridge　（with　whom　I　had　arranged　previously）　called　to　drive　me
to　Brighton　in　his　light　cart。　The　chaise　which　he　had　for　hire　had　been
already　used　to　make　the　same　journey　by　Lucilla　and　the　nurse；　and　had
not　yet　been　returned　to　the　inn。　I　reached　my　train　before　the　hour　of
starting；　and　arrived　in　London　with　a　sufficient　margin　of　time　to
spare。

Resolved　to　make　sure　that　no　possible　mischance　could　occur；　I　drove　to
Miss　Batchford's　house；　and　saw　the　cabman　give　my　letter　into　the
servant's　hands。

It　was　a　bitter　moment　when　I　found　myself　pulling　down　my　veil；　in　the
fear　that　Lucilla　might　be　at　the　window　and　see　me！　Nobody　was　visible
but　the　man　who　answered　the　door。　If　pen；　ink；　and　paper　had　been　within
my　reach　at　the　moment；　I　think　I　should　have　written　to　her　on　my　own
account；　after　all！　As　it　was；　I　could　only　forgive　her　the　injury　she
had　done　me。　From　the　bottom　of　my　heart；　I　forgave　her；　and　longed　for
the　blessed　time　which　should　unite　us　again。　In　the　meanwhile；　having
done　everything　that　I　could　to　guard　and　help　her；　I　was　now　free　to
give　to　Oscar　all　the　thoughts　that　I　could　spare　from　my　poor　misguided
father。

Being　bound　for　the　Continent；　I　determined　（though　the　chances　were　a
hundred　to　one　against　me）　to　do　all　that　I　could；　in　my　painful
position；　to　discover　the　place　of　Oscar's　retreat。　The　weary　hours　of
suspense　at　my　father's　bedside　would　be　lightened　to　me；　if　I　could　feel
that　the　search　for　the　lost　man　was　being　carried　on　at　my　instigation；
and　that　from　day　to　day　there　was　a　bare　possibility　of　my　hearing　of
him；　if　there　was　no　more。

The　office　of　the　lawyer　whom　I　had　consulted　during　my　previous　visit　to
London；　lay　in　my　way　to　the　terminus。　I　drove　there　next；　and　was
fortunate　enough　to　find　him　still　at　business。

No　tidings　had　yet　been　heard　of　Oscar。　The　lawyer；　however；　proved　to　be
useful　by　giving　me　a　letter　of　introduction　to　a　person　at　Marseilles；
accustomed　to　conduct　difficult　confidential　inquiries；　and　having　agents
whom　he　could　employ　in　all　the　great　cities　of　Europe。　A　man　of　Oscar's
startling　personal　appearance　would　be　surely　more　or　less　easy　to　trace；
if　the　right　machinery　to　do　it　could　only　be　set　at　work。　My　savings
would　suffice　for　this　purpose　to　a　certain　extentand　to　that　extent　I
resolved　that　they　should　be　used　when　I　reached　my　journey's　end。

It　was　a　troubled　sea　on　the　channel　passage　that　night。　I　remained　on
deck；　accepting　any　inconvenience　rather　than　descend　into　the　atmosphere
of　the　cabin。　As　I　looked　out　to　sea　on　one　side　a