poor miss finch-第73节

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perhaps；　there　was　some　enervating　influence　in　my　affliction；　which　made
me　feel　more　sensitively　than　ever　the　change　in　the　relations　between
Lucilla　and　myself。　Having；　by　this　time；　resolved　to　come　to　a　plain
explanation；　before　I　left　her　unprotected　at　the　rectory；　I　shrank；　even
yet；　from　confronting　a　possible　repulse；　by　speaking　to　her　personally。
Taking　a　leaf　out　of　poor　Oscar's　book；　I　wrote　what　I　wanted　to　say　to
her　in　a　note。

I　rang　the　bellonce；　twice。　Nobody　answered　it。

I　went　to　the　kitchen。　Zillah　was　not　there。　I　knocked　at　the　door　of　her
bed…room。　There　was　no　answer：　the　bed…room　was　empty　when　I　looked　in。
Awkward　as　it　would　be；　I　found　myself　obliged；　either　to　give　my　note　to
Lucilla　with　my　own　hand；　or　to　decide　on　speaking　to　her；　after　all。

I　could　not　prevail　on　myself　to　speak　to　her。　So　I　went　to　her　room　with
my　note；　and　knocked　at　the　door。

Here　again　there　was　no　reply。　I　knocked　once　morewith　the　same　result。
I　looked　in。　There　was　no　one　in　the　room。　On　the　little　table　at　the
foot　of　the　bed；　there　lay　a　letter　addressed　to　me。　The　writing　was　in
Zillah's　hand。　But　Lucilla　had　written　her　name　in　the　corner　in　the
usual　way；　to　show　that　she　had　dictated　the　letter　to　her　nurse。　A　load
was　lifted　off　my　heart　as　I　took　it　up。　The　same　idea　（I　concluded）　had
occurred　to　her　which　had　occurred　to　me。　She　too　had　shrunk　from　the
embarrassment　of　a　personal　explanation。　She　too　had　writtenand　was
keeping　out　of　the　way　until　her　letter　had　spoken　for　her；　and　had
united　us　again　as　friends　before　I　left　the　house。

With　these　pleasant　anticipations；　I　opened　the　letter。　Judge　what　I　felt
when　I　found　what　it　really　contained。



〃DEAR　MADAME　PRATOLUNGO；You　will　agree　with　me；　that　it　is　very
important；　after　what　Herr　Grosse　has　said　about　the　recovery　of　my
sight；　that　my　visit　to　Ramsgate　should　not　be　delayed。　As　you　are
unable；　through　circumstances　which　I　sincerely　regret；　to　accompany　me
to　the　sea…side；　I　have　determined　to　go　to　London　to　my　aunt；　Miss
Batchford；　and　to　ask　her　to　be　my　companion　instead　of　you。　I　have　had
experience　enough　of　her　sincere　affection　for　me　to　be　quite　sure　that
she　will　gladly　take　the　charge　of　me　off　your　hands。　As　no　time　is　to　be
lost；　I　start　for　London　without　waiting　for　your　return　from　your　walk
to　wish　you　good…bye。　You　so　thoroughly　understand　the　necessity　of
dispensing　with　formal　farewells；　in　cases　of　emergency；　that　I　am　sure
you　will　not　feel　offended　at　my　taking　leave　of　you　in　this　way。　With
best　wishes　for　your　father's　recovery；　believe　me；

〃Yours　very　truly；

〃LUCILLA。

〃P。　S。You　need　be　under　no　apprehension　about　me。　Zillah　goes　with　me
as　far　as　London；　and　I　shall　communicate　with　Herr　Grosse　when　I　arrive
at　my　aunt's　house。〃



But　for　one　sentence　in　it；　I　should　most　assuredly　have　answered　this
cruel　letter　by　instantly　resigning　my　situation　as　Lucilla's　companion。

The　sentence　to　which　I　refer；　contained　the　words　which　cast　in　my　teeth
the　excuses　that　I　had　made　for　Oscar's　absence。　The　sarcastic　reference
to　my　recent　connection　with　a　case　of　emergency；　and　to　my　experience　of
the　necessity　of　dispensing　with　formal　farewells；　removed　my　last
lingering　doubts　of　Nugent's　treachery。　I　now　felt；　not　suspicion　only；
but　positive　conviction　that　he　had　communicated　with　her　in　his
brother's　name；　and　that　he　had　contrived　（by　some　means　at　which　it　was
impossible　for　me　to　guess）　so　to　work　on　Lucilla's　mindso　to　excite
that　indwelling　distrust　which　her　blindness　had　rooted　in　her
characteras　to　destroy　her　confidence　in　me　for　the　time　being。

Arriving　at　this　conclusion；　I　could　still　feel　compassionately　and
generously　towards　Lucilla。　Far　from　blaming　my　poor　deluded
sister…friend　for　her　cruel　departure　and　her　yet　crueler　letter；　I　laid
the　whole　fault　on　the　shoulders　of　Nugent。　Full　as　my　mind　was　of　my　own
troubles；　I　could　still　think　of　the　danger　that　threatened　Lucilla；　and
of　the　wrong　that　Oscar　had　suffered。　I　could　still　feel　the　old　glow　of
my　resolution　to　bring　them　together　again；　and　still　remember　（and
determine　to　pay）　the　debt　I　owed　to　Nugent　Dubourg。

In　the　turn　things　had　taken；　and　with　the　short　time　still　at　my
disposal；　what　was　I　to　do　next？　Assuming　that　Miss　Batchford　would
accompany　her　niece　to　Ramsgate；　how　could　I　put　the　necessary　obstacle
in　Nugent's　way；　if　he　attempted　to　communicate　with　Lucilla　at　the
sea…side；　in　my　absence？

It　was　impossible　for　me　to　decide　this；　unless　I　first　knew　whether　Miss
Batchford；　as　a　member　of　the　family；　was　to　be　confidentially　informed
of　the　sad　position　in　which　Oscar　and　Lucilla　now　stood　towards　each
other。

The　person　to　consult　in　this　difficulty　was　the　rector。　As　head　of　the
household；　and　in　my　absence；　the　responsibility　evidently　rested　with
Reverend　Finch。

I　went　round　at　once　to　the　other　side　of　the　house。　If　Mr。　Finch　had
returned　to　the　rectory；　after　the　catechizing　was　over；　well　and　good。
If　not；　I　should　be　obliged　to　inquire　in　the　village　and　seek　him　at　the
cottages　of　his　parishioners。　His　magnificent　voice　relieved　me　from　all
anxiety　on　this　head。　The　_boom…boom_　which　I　had　last　heard　in　the
church；　I　now　heard　again　in　the　study。

When　I　entered　the　room；　Mr。　Finch　was　on　his　legs；　highly　excited；
haranguing　Mrs。　Finch　and　the　baby；　ensconced　as　usual　in　a　corner。　My
appearance　on　the　scene　diverted　his　flow　of　language；　for　the　moment；　so
that　it　all　poured　itself　out　on　my　unlucky　self。　（If　you　recollect　that
the　rector　and　Lucilla's　aunt　had　been；　from　time　immemorial；　on　the
worst　of　termsyou　will　be　prepared　for　what　is　coming。　If　you　have
forgotten　this；　look　back　at　my　sixth　chapter　and　refresh　your　memory。）

〃The　very　person　I　was　going　to　send　for！〃　said　the　Pope　of　Dimchurch。
〃Don't　excite　Mrs。　Finch！　Don't　speak　to　Mrs。　Finch！　You　shall　hear　why
directly。　Address　yourself　exclusively　to　Me。　Be　calm；　Madame　Pratolungo！
you　don't　know　what　has　happened。　I　am　here　to　tell　you。〃

I　ventured　to　stop　him：　mentioning　that　Lucilla's　letter　had　informed　me
of　his　daughter's　sudden　departure　for　her　aunt's　house。　Mr。　Finch　waved
away　my　answer　with　his　hand；　as　something　too　infinitely　unimportant　to
be　worthy　of　a　moment's　notice。

〃Yes！　yes！　yes！〃　he　said。　〃You　have　a　superficial　acquaintance　with　the
facts。　But　you　are　far　from　being　aware　of　what　my　daughter's　sudden
removal　of　herself　from　my　roof　really　means。　Now　don't　be　frightened；
Madame　Pratolungo！　and　don't　excite　Mrs。　Finch！　（How　are　you；　my　dear？
how　is　the　child？　Both　well？　Thanks　to　an　overruling　Providence；　both
well。）　Now；　Madame　Pratolungo；　attend　to　this。　My　daughter's　flightI
say　flight　advisedly：　it　is　nothing　lessmy　daughter's　flight　from　my
house　means　（I　entreat　you　to　be　calm！）means　ANOTHER　BLOW　dealt　at　me
by　the　family　of　my　first　wife。　Dealt　at　me；〃　repeated　Mr。　Finch；　heating
himself　with　the　recollection　of　his　old　feud　with　the　Batchfords〃Dealt
at　me　by　Miss　Batchford　（by　Lucilla's　aunt；　Madame　Pratolungo）　through　my
unoffending　second　wife；　and　my　innocent　child。Are　you　sure　you　are
well；　my　dear？　are　you　sure　the　infant　is　well？　Thank
Providence！Concentrate　your　attention；　Madame　Pratolungo！　Your
attention　is　wandering。　Prompted　by　Miss　Batchford；　my　daughter　has　left
my　roof。　Ramsgate　is　a　mere　excuse。　And　how　has　she　left　it？　Not　only
without　first　seeing　MeI　am　Nobody！　but　without　showing　the　slightest
sympathy　for　Mrs。　Finch's　maternal　situation。　Attired　in　her　traveling
costume；　my　daughter　precipitately　entered　（or　to　use　my　wife's　graphic
expression　'bounced　into'）　the　nursery；　while　Mrs。　Finch　was
administering　maternal　sustenance　to　the　infant。　Under　circumstances
which　might　have　touched　the　heart　of　a　bandit　or　a　savage；　my　unnatural
daughter　（remind　me；　Mrs。　Finch；　we　will　have　a　little　Shakespeare
to…night；　I　will　read　_King　Lear_）；　my　unnatural　daughter　announced
without　one　word　of　preparation　that　a　domestic　affliction　would　prevent
you　from　accompanying　her　to　Ramsgate。Grieved；　dear　Madame　Pratolungo；
to　hear　of　it。　Cast　your　burden　on　Providence。　Bear　up；　Mrs。　Finch；　bear
upHaving　startled　my　wife　with　this　harrowing　news；　my　daughter　next
shocked　her　by　declaring　that　she　was　going　to　leave　her　father's　roof；
without　waiting　to　bid　her　father　good…bye。　The　catching　of　a　train；　you
will　observe；　was　（no　doubt　at　Miss　Batchford's　instigation）　of　more
importance　than　the　parental　embrace　or　the　pastoral　blessing。　Leaving　a
message　of　apology　for　Me；　my　heartless　child　（I　use　Mrs。　Finch's　graphic
language　againyou　have　fair；　very　fair　powers　of　expression；　Mrs。
Finch）my　heartless　child　'bounced　out'　of　the　nursery　to　catch　her
train；　having；　for　all　she　knew；　or　cared；　administered　a　shock　to　my
wife　which　might　have　soured　the　fountain　of　maternal　sustenance　at　its
source。　There　is　where　the　Blow　falls；　Madame　Pratolungo！　How　do　I　know
that　acid　disturbance　is　not　being　communicated　at　this　moment；　instead
of　wholesome　nourishment；　between　mother　and　child？　I　shall　prepare　you
an　alkaline　draught；　Mrs。　Finch；　to　be　taken　after　meals。　Don't　speak；
do