poor miss finch-第56节

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on　her。　In　your　brother's　interests；　again；　you　are　asked　to　leave
Dimchurch。　Why　do　you　refuse？〃

〃I　refuse；　because　I　have　come　round　to　your　way　of　thinking。　What　did
you　say　of　Oscar　and　of　me；　in　the　summer…house？　You　said　we　were　taking
a　cruel　advantage　of　Lucilla's　blindness。　You　were　right。　It　was　cruel
not　to　have　told　her　the　truth。　I　won't　be　a　party　to　concealing　the
truth　from　her　any　longer！　I　refuse　to　persist　in　deceiving　herin
meanly　deceiving　heron　the　day　when　she　recovers　her　sight！〃

It　is　entirely　beyond　my　power　to　describe　the　tone　in　which　he　made　that
reply。　I　can　only　declare　that　it　struck　me　dumb　for　the　moment。　I　drew　a
step　nearer　to　him。　With　vague　misgivings　in　me；　I　looked　him　searchingly
in　the　face。　He　looked　back　at　me；　without　shrinking。

〃Well？〃　he　askedwith　a　hard　smile　which　defied　me　to　put　him　in　the
wrong。

I　could　discover　nothing　in　his　faceI　could　only　follow　my　instincts　as
a　woman。　Those　instincts　warned　me　to　accept　his　explanation。

〃I　am　to　understand　then　that　you　have　decided　on　staying　here？〃　I　said。

〃Certainly！〃

〃What　do　you　propose　to　do；　when　Herr　Grosse　arrives；　and　we　assemble　in
Lucilla's　room？〃

〃I　propose　to　be　present　among　the　rest　of　you；　at　the　most　interesting
moment　of　Lucilla's　life。〃

〃No！　you　don't　propose　that！〃

〃I　do！〃

〃You　have　forgotten　something；　Mr。　Nugent　Dubourg。〃

〃What　is　it；　Madame　Pratolungo？〃

〃You　have　forgotten　that　Lucilla　believes　the　brother　with　the　discolored
face　to　be　You；　and　the　brother　with　the　fair　complexion　to　be　Oscar。　You
have　forgotten　that　the　surgeon　has　expressly　forbidden　us　to　agitate　her
by　entering　into　any　explanations　before　he　allows　her　to　use　her　eyes。
You　have　forgotten　that　the　very　deception　which　you　have　just　positively
refused　to　go　on　with；　will　be　nevertheless　a　deception　continued；　if　you
are　present　when　Lucilla　sees。　Your　own　resolution　pledges　you　not　to
enter　the　rectory　doors　until　Lucilla　has　discovered　the　truth。〃　In　those
words　I　closed　the　vice　on　him。　I　had　got　Mr。　Nugent　Dubourg！

He　turned　deadly　pale。　His　eyes　dropped　before　mine　for　the　first　time。

〃Thank　you　for　reminding　me；〃　he　said。　〃I　_had_　forgotten。〃

He　pronounced　those　submissive　words　in　a　suddenly…lowered　voice。
Something　in　his　tone；　or　something　in　the　dropping　of　his　eyes；　set　my
heart　beating　quickly；　with　a　certain　vague　expectation　which　I　was
unable　to　realize　to　myself。

〃You　agree　with　me；〃　I　said；　〃that　you　cannot　be　one　amongst　us　at　the
rectory？　What　will　you　do？〃

〃I　will　remain　at　Browndown；〃　he　answered。

I　felt　he　was　lying。　Don't　ask　for　my　reasons：　I　have　no　reasons　to　give。
When　he　said　〃I　will　remain　at　Browndown；〃　I　felt　he　was　lying。

〃Why　not　do　what　Oscar　asks　of　you？〃　I　went　on。　〃If　you　are　absent；　you
may　as　well　be　in　one　place　as　in　another。　There　is　plenty　of　time　still
to　leave　Dimchurch。〃

He　looked　up　as　suddenly　as　he　had　looked　down。

〃Do　you　and　Oscar　think　me　a　stock　or　a　stone？〃　he　burst　out　angrily。

〃What　do　you　mean？〃

〃Who　are　you　indebted　to　for　what　is　going　to　happen　to…day？〃　he　went　on；
more　and　more　passionately。　〃You　are　indebted　to　Me。　Who　among　you　all
stood　alone　in　refusing　to　believe　that　she　was　blind　for　life？　_I_　did！
Who　brought　the　man　here　who　has　given　her　back　her　sight？　_I_　brought
the　man！　And　I　am　the　one　person　who　is　to　be　left　in　ignorance　of　how　it
ends。　The　others　are　to　be　present：　I　am　to　be　sent　away。　The　others　are
to　see　it：　I　am　to　hear　by　post　（if　any　of　you　think　of　writing　to　me）
what　she　does；　what　she　says；　how　she　looks；　at　the　first　heavenly　moment
when　she　opens　her　eyes　on　the　world。〃　He　flung　up　his　hand　in　the　air；
and　burst　out　savagely　with　a　bitter　laugh。　〃I　astonish　you；　don't　I？　I
am　claiming　a　position　which　I　have　no　right　to　occupy。　What　interest　can
_I_　feel　in　it？　Oh　God！　what　do　_I_　care　about　the　woman　to　whom　I　have
given　a　new　life？〃　His　voice　broke　into　a　sob　at　those　last　wild　words。
He　tore　at　the　breast　of　his　coat　as　if　he　was　suffocatingand　turned；
and　left　me。

I　stood　rooted　to　the　spot。　In　one　breathless　instant；　the　truth　broke　on
me　like　a　revelation。　At　last　I　had　penetrated　the　terrible　secret。
Nugent　loved　her。

My　first　impulse；　when　I　recovered　myself；　hurried　me　at　the　top　of　my
speed　back　to　the　rectory。　For　a　moment　or　two；　I　think　I　must　really
have　lost　my　senses。　I　felt　a　frantic　suspicion　that　he　had　gone　into　the
house；　and　that　he　was　making　his　way　to　Lucilla　at　that　moment。　When　I
found　that　all　was　quietwhen　Zillah　had　satisfied　me　that　no　visitor
had　come　near　our　side　of　the　rectoryI　calmed　down　a　little；　and　went
back　to　the　garden　to　compose　myself　before　I　ventured　into　Lucilla's
presence。

After　awhile；　I　got　over　the　first　horror　of　it；　and　saw　my　own　position
plainly。　There　was　not　a　living　soul　at　Dimchurch　in　whom　I　could
confide。　Come　what　might　of　it；　in　this　dreadful　emergency；　I　must　trust
in　myself　alone。

I　had　just　arrived　at　that　startling　conclusion；　I　had　shed　some　bitter
tears　when　I　remembered　how　hardly　I　had　judged　poor　Oscar　on　more　than
one　occasion；　I　had　decided　that　my　favorite　Nugent　was　the　most　hateful
villain　living；　and　that　I　would　leave　nothing　undone　that　the　craft　of　a
woman　could　compass　to　drive　him　out　of　the　placewhen　I　was　forced　back
to　present　necessities　by　the　sound　of　Zillah's　voice　calling　to　me　from
the　house。　I　went　to　her　directly。　The　nurse　had　a　message　for　me　from
her　young　mistress。　My　poor　Lucilla　was　lonely　and　anxious：　she　was
surprised　at　my　leaving　her；　she　insisted　on　seeing　me　immediately。

I　took　my　first　precaution　against　a　surprise　from　Nugent；　as　I　crossed
the　threshold　of　the　door。

〃Our　dear　child　must　not　be　disturbed　by　visitors　to…day；〃　I　said　to
Zillah。　〃If　Mr。　Nugent　Dubourg　comes　here　and　asks　for　herdon't　tell
Lucilla；　tell　_me。_〃

This　said；　I　went　up…stairs；　and　joined　my　darling　in　the　darkened　room。

CHAPTER　THE　THIRTY…FIFTH

Lucilla　tries　her　Sight

SHE　was　sitting　alone　in　the　dim　light；　with　the　bandage　over　her　eyes；
with　her　pretty　hands　crossed　patiently　on　her　lap。　My　heart　swelled　in
me　as　I　looked　at　her；　and　felt　the　horrid　discovery　that　I　had　made
still　present　in　my　mind。　〃Forgive　me　for　leaving　you；〃　I　said　in　as
steady　a　voice　as　I　could　command　at　the　momentand　kissed　her。

She　instantly　discovered　my　agitation；　carefully　as　I　thought　I　had
concealed　it。

〃You　are　frightened　too！〃　she　exclaimed；　taking　my　hands　in　hers。

〃Frightened；　my　love？〃　I　repeated。　（I　was　perfectly　stupefied；　I　really
did　not　know　what　to　say！）

〃Yes。　Now　the　time　is　so　near；　I　feel　my　courage　failing　me。　I　forbode
all　sorts　of　horrible　things。　Oh！　when　will　it　be　over？　what　will　Oscar
look　like　when　I　see　him？〃

I　answered　the　first　question。　Who　could　answer　the　second？

〃Herr　Grosse　comes　to　us　by　the　morning　train；〃　I　said。　〃It　will　soon　be
over。〃

〃Where　is　Oscar？〃

〃On　his　way　here；　I　have　no　doubt。〃

〃Describe　him　to　me　once　more；〃　she　said　eagerly。　〃For　the　last　time；
before　I　see。　His　eyes；　his　hair；　his　complexioneverything！〃

How　I　should　have　got　through　the　painful　task　which　she　had　innocently
imposed　on　me；　if　I　had　attempted　to　perform　it；　I　hardly　like　to　think。
To　my　infinite　relief；　I　was　interrupted　at　my　first　word　by　the　opening
of　the　door；　and　the　sudden　appearance　of　a　family　deputation　in　the
room。

First；　strutting　with　slow　and　solemn　steps；　with　one　hand　laid
pathetically　on　the　breast　of　his　clerical　waistcoat；　appeared　Reverend
Finch。　After　him；　came　his　wife；　shorn　of　all　her　proper
accompanimentsexcept　the　baby。　Without　her　novel；　without　her　jacket；
petticoat；　or　shawl；　without　even　the　handkerchief　which　she　was　always
losingclothed；　for　the　first　time　in　my　experience；　in　a　complete
gownthe　metamorphosis　of　damp　Mrs。　Finch　was　complete。　But　for　the
baby；　I　believe　I　should　have　taken　her；　in　the　dim　light；　for　a
stranger！　She　stood　（apparently　doubtful　of　her　reception）　hesitating　in
the　doorway；　and　so　hiding　a　third　member　of　the　deputationwho　appealed
piteously　to　the　general　notice　in　a　small　voice　which　I　knew　well；　and
in　a　form　of　address　familiar　to　me　from　past　experience。

〃Jicks　wants　to　come　in。〃

The　rector　took　his　hand　from　his　waistcoat；　and　held　it　up　in　faint
protest　against　the　intrusion　of　the　third　member。　Mrs。　Finch　moved
mechanically　into　the　room。　Jicks　appeared；　hugging　her　disreputable
doll；　and　showing　signs　of　recent　wandering　in　the　white　dust　which
dropped　on　the　carpet　from　her　frock　and　her　shoes；　as　she　advanced
towards　the　place　in　which　I　was　sitting。　Arrived　in　front　of　me；　she
peered　quaintly　up　at　my　face；　through　the　obscurity　of　the　room；　lifted
her　doll　by　the　legs；　hit　me　a　smart　rap　with　the　head　of　it　on　my　knee；
and　said

〃Jicks　will　sit　here。〃

I　rubbed　my　knee；　and　enthroned　Jicks　as　ordered。　At　the　same　time　Mr。
Finch　solemnly　stalked　up　to　his　daughter；　laid　his　hands　on　her　head；
raised　his　eyes　to　the　ceiling；　and　said　in　bass　notes　that　rumbled　with
paternal　emotion；　〃Bless　you；　my　child！〃

At　the　sound　of　her　husband's　magnificent　voice；　Mrs。　Finch　became
he