poor miss finch-第55节

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required　all　my　influence；　backed　by　Oscar's　entreaties；　and　strengthened
by　the　furious　foreign　English　of　our　excellent　German　surgeon　（Herr
Grosse　had　a　temper　of　his　own；　I　can　tell　you！）　to　prevent　her　from
breaking　through　the　medical　discipline　which　held　her　in　its　grasp。　When
she　became　quite　unmanageable；　and　vehemently　abused　him　to　his　face；　our
good　Grosse　used　to　swear　at　her；　in　a　compound　bad　language　of　his　own；
with　a　tremendous　aspiration　at　the　beginning　of　it；　which　always　set
matters　right　by　making　her　laugh。　I　see　him　again　as　I　write；　leaving
the　room　on　these　occasions；　with　his　eyes　blazing　through　his
spectacles；　and　his　shabby　hat　cocked　sideways　on　his　head。　〃Soh；　you
little…spitfire…Feench！　If　you　touch　that　bandages　when　I　have　put　him
onHo…Damn…Damn！　I　say　no　more。　Good…bye！〃

From　Lucilla　I　turn　to　the　twin…brothers　next。

Tranquilized　as　to　the　future；　after　his　interview　with　Mr。　Sebright；
Oscar　presented　himself　at　his　best　during　the　time　of　which　I　am　now
writing。　Lucilla's　main　reliance　in　her　days　in　the　darkened　room；　was　on
what　her　lover　could　do　to　relieve　and　to　encourage　her。　He　never　once
failed　her；　his　patience　was　perfect；　his　devotion　was　inexhaustible。　It
is　sad　to　say　so；　in　view　of　what　happened　afterwards；　but　I　only　tell　a
necessary　truth　when　I　declare　that　he　immensely　strengthened　his　hold　on
her　affections；　in　those　last　days　of　her　blindness　when　his　society　was
most　precious　to　her。　Ah；　how　fervently　she　used　to　talk　of　him　when　she
and　I　were　left　together　at　night！　Forgive　me　if　I　leave　this　part　of　the
history　of　the　courtship　untold。　I　don't　like　to　write　of　itI　don't
like　to　think　of　it。　Let　us　get　on　to　something　else。

Nugent　comes　next。　I　would　give　a　great　deal；　poor　as　I　am；　to　be　able　to
leave　him　out。　It　is　not　to　be　done。　I　must　write　about　that　lost　wretch；
and　you　must　read　about　him；　whether　we　like　it　or　not。

The　days　of　Lucilla's　imprisonment；　were　also　the　days　when　my　favorite
disappointed　me；　for　the　first　time。　He　and　his　brother　seemed　to　change
places。　It　was　Nugent　now　who　appeared　to　disadvantage　by　comparison　with
Oscar。　He　surprised　and　grieved　his　brother　by　leaving　Browndown。　〃All　I
can　do　for　you；　I　have　done；〃　he　said。　〃I　can　be　of　no　further　use　for
the　present　to　anybody。　Let　me　go。　I　am　stagnating　in　this　miserable
placeI　must；　and　will；　have　change。〃　Oscar's　entreaties；　in　Nugent's
present　frame　of　mind；　failed　to　move　him。　Away　he　went　one　morning；
without　bidding　anybody　goodbye。　He　had　talked　of　being　absent　for　a
weekhe　remained　away　for　a　month。　We　heard　of　him；　leading　a　wild　life；
among　a　vicious　set　of　men。　It　was　reported　that　a　frantic　restlessness
possessed　him　which　nobody　could　understand。　He　came　back　as　suddenly　as
he　had　left　us。　His　variable　nature　had　swung　round；　in　the　interval；　to
the　opposite　extreme。　He　was　full　of　repentance　for　his　reckless　conduct；
he　was　in　a　state　of　depression　which　defied　rousing；　he　despaired　of
himself　and　his　future。　Sometimes　he　talked　of　going　back　to　America；　and
sometimes　he　threatened　to　close　his　career　by　enlisting　as　a　private
soldier。　Would　any　other　person；　in　my　place；　have　seen　which　way　these
signs　pointed？　I　doubt　it；　if　that　person's　mind　had　been　absorbed；　as
mine　was；　in　watching　Lucilla　day　by　day。　Even　if　I　had　been　a　suspicious
woman　by　naturewhich；　thank　God；　I　am　notmy　distrust　must　have　lain
dormant；　in　the　all…subduing　atmosphere　of　suspense　hanging　heavily　on　me
morning；　noon；　and　night　in　the　darkened　room。

So　much；　briefly；　for　the　sayings　and　doings　of　the　persons　principally
concerned　in　this　narrative；　during　the　six　weeks　which　separate　Part　the
First　from　Part　the　Second。

I　begin　again　on　the　ninth　of　August。

This　was　the　memorable　day　chosen　by　Herr　Grosse　for　risking　the
experiment　of　removing　the　bandage；　and　permitting　Lucilla　to　try　her
sight　for　the　first　time。　Conceive　for　yourselves　（don't　ask　me　to
describe）　the　excitement　that　raged　in　our　obscure　little　circle；　now
that　we　were　standing　face　to　face　with　that　grand　Event　in　our　lives
which　I　promised　to　relate　in　the　opening　sentence　of　these　pages。

I　was　the　earliest　riser　at　the　rectory　that　morning。　My　excitable　French
blood　was　in　a　fever。　I　was　irresistibly　reminded　of　myself；　at　a　time
long　pastthe　time　when　my　glorious　Pratolungo　and　I；　succumbing　to　Fate
and　tyrants；　fled　to　England　for　safety；　martyrs　to　that　ungrateful
Republic　（long　live　the　Republic！）　for　which　I　laid　down　my　money　and　my
husband　his　life。

I　opened　my　window；　and　hailed　the　good　omen　of　sunrise　in　a　clear　sky。
Just　as　I　was　turning　away　again　from　the　view；　I　saw　a　figure　steal　out
from　the　shrubbery　and　appear　on　the　lawn。　The　figure　came　nearer。　I
recognized　Oscar。

〃What　in　the　world　are　you　doing　there；　at　this　time　in　the　morning？〃　I
called　out。

He　lifted　his　finger　to　his　lips；　and　came　close　under　my　window　before
he　answered。

〃Hush！〃　he　said。　〃Don't　let　Lucilla　hear　you。　Come　down　to　me　as　soon　as
you　can。　I　am　waiting　to　speak　to　you。〃

When　I　joined　him　in　the　garden；　I　saw　directly　that　something　had　gone
wrong。

〃Bad　news　from　Browndown？〃　I　asked。

〃Nugent　has　disappointed　me；〃　he　answered。　〃Do　you　remember　the　evening
when　you　met　me　after　my　consultation　with　Mr。　Sebright？〃

〃Perfectly。〃

〃I　told　you　that　I　meant　to　ask　Nugent　to　leave　Dimchurch；　on　the　day
when　Lucilla　tried　her　sight　for　the　first　time。〃

〃Well？〃

〃Wellhe　refuses　to　leave　Dimchurch。〃

〃Have　you　explained　your　motives　to　him？〃

〃Carefullybefore　I　asked　him　to　go。　I　told　him　how　impossible　it　was　to
say　what　might　happen。　I　reminded　him　that　it　might　be　of　the　utmost
importance　to　me　to　preserve　the　impression　now　in　Lucilla's　mindfor　a
certain　time　onlyafter　Lucilla　could　see。　I　promised；　the　moment　she
became　reconciled　to　the　sight　of　me；　to　recall　him；　and　in　his　presence
to　tell　her　the　truth。　All　that　I　said　to　himand　how　do　you　think　he
answered　me？〃

〃Did　he　positively　refuse？〃

〃No。　He　walked　away　from　me　to　the　window；　and　considered　a　little。　Then
he　turned　round　suddenly　and　said　'What　did　you　tell　me　was　Mr。
Sebright's　opinion？　Mr。　Sebright　thought　she　would　be　relieved　instead　of
being　terrified。　In　that　case；　what　need　is　there　for　me　to　go　away？　You
can　acknowledge　at　once　that　she　has　seen　your　face；　and　not　mine？'　He
put　his　hands　in　his　pockets　when　he　had　said　that　（you　know　Nugent's
downright　way）and　turned　back　to　the　window　as　if　he　had　settled
everything。〃

〃What　did　you　say；　on　your　side？〃

〃I　said；　'Suppose　Mr。　Sebright　is　wrong？'　He　only　answered；　'Suppose　Mr。
Sebright　is　right？'　I　followed　him　to　the　windowI　never　heard　him　speak
so　sourly　to　me　as　he　spoke　at　that　moment。　'What　is　your　objection　to
going　away　for　a　day　or　two？'　I　asked。　'My　objection　is　soon　stated；'　he
answered。　'I　am　sick　of　these　everlasting　complications。　It　is　useless
and　cruel　to　carry　on　the　deception　any　longer。　Mr。　Sebright's　advice　is
the　wise　advice　and　the　right　advice。　Let　her　see　you　as　you　are。'　With
that　answer；　he　walked　out　of　the　room。　Something　has　upset　himI　can't
imagine　what　it　is。　Do　pray　see　what　you　can　make　of　him！　My　only　hope　is
in　you。〃

I　own　I　felt　reluctant　to　interfere。　Suddenly　and　strangely　as　Nugent　had
altered　his　point　of　view；　it　seemed　to　me　undeniable　that　Nugent　was
right。　At　the　same　time；　Oscar　looked　so　disappointed　and　distressed；
that　it　was　really　impossible；　on　that　day　above　all　others；　to　pain　him
additionally　by　roundly　saying　No。　I　undertook　to　do　what　I　couldand　I
inwardly　hoped　that　circumstances　would　absolve　me　from　the　necessity　of
doing　anything　at　all。

Circumstances　failed　to　justify　my　selfish　confidence　in　them。

I　was　out　in　the　village；　after　breakfast；　on　a　domestic　errand　connected
with　the　necessary　culinary　preparations　for　the　reception　of　Herr
Grossewhen　I　heard　my　name　pronounced　behind　me；　and；　turning　round；
found　myself　face　to　face　with　Nugent。

〃Has　my　brother　been　bothering　you　this　morning；〃　he　asked；　〃before　I　was
up？〃

I　instantly　noticed　a　return　in　him；　as　he　said　that；　to　the　same　dogged
ungracious　manner　which　had　perplexed　and　displeased　me　at　my　last
confidential　interview　with　him　in　the　rectory　garden。

〃Oscar　has　been　speaking　to　me　this　morning；〃　I　replied。

〃About　me？〃

〃About　you。　You　have　distressed　and　disappointed　him〃

〃I　know！　I　know！　Oscar　is　worse　than　a　child。　I　am　beginning　to　lose　all
patience　with　him。〃

〃I　am　sorry　to　hear　you　say　that；　Nugent。　You　have　borne　with　him　so
kindly　thus　farsurely　you　can　make　allowances　for　him　to…day？　His　whole
future　may　depend　on　what　happens　in　Lucilla's　sitting…room　a　few　hours
hence。〃

〃He　is　making　a　mountain　out　of　a　mole…hilland　so　are　you。〃

Those　words　were　spoken　bitterlyalmost　rudely。　I　answered　sharply　on　my
side。

〃You　are　the　last　person　living　who　has　any　right　to　say　that。　Oscar　is
in　a　false　position　towards　Lucilla；　with　your　knowledge　and　consent。　In
your　brother's　interests；　you　agreed　to　the　fraud　that　has　been　practiced
on　her。　In　your　brother's　interests；　again；　you　are　asked　to　leave
Dimchurch。　Wh