poor miss finch-第43节

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of　all　your　creatures；　the　most　helpless；　the　most　miserable；　is　the
creature　who　can't　see！〃

I　never　heard　anything　in　all　my　life　so　pitiable　and　so　dreadful　as　the
frantic　suspicion　and　misery　which　tore　their　way　out　from　her；　in　those
words。　She　cut　me　to　the　heart。　I　had　spoken　rashlyI　had　behaved
badlybut　had　I　deserved　this？　No！　no！　no！　I　had　_not_　deserved　it。　I
threw　myself　into　a　chair；　and　burst　out　crying。　My　tears　scalded　me；　my
sobs　choked　me。　If　I　had　had　poison　in　my　hand；　I　would　have　drunk　itI
was　so　furious　and　so　wretched：　so　hurt　in　my　honor；　so　wounded　at　my
heart。

The　only　voice　that　answered　her　was　Nugent's。　Reckless　what　the
consequences　might　bespeaking；　in　his　own　proper　person；　from　the
opposite　end　of　the　roomhe　asked　the　all…important　question　which　no
human　being　had　ever　put　to　her　yet。

〃Are　you　sure；　Lucilla；　that　you　are　blind　for　life？〃

A　dead　silence　followed　the　utterance　of　those　words。

I　brushed　away　the　tears　from　my　eyes；　and　looked　up。

Oscar　had　beenas　I　supposedholding　her　in　his　arms；　silently　soothing
her；　when　his　brother　spoke。　At　the　moment　when　I　saw　her；　she　had　just
detached　herself　from　him。　She　advanced　a　step；　towards　the　part　of　the
room　in　which　Nugent　stoodand　stopped；　with　her　face　turned　towards
him。　Every　faculty　in　her　seemed　to　be　suspended　by　the　silent　passage
into　her　mind　of　the　new　idea　that　he　had　called　up。　Through　childhood；
girlhood；　womanhoodnever　once；　waking　or　dreaming；　had　the　prospect　of
restoration　to　sight　presented　itself　within　her　range　of　contemplation；
until　now。　Not　a　trace　was　left　in　her　countenance　of　the　indignation
which　Nugent　had　roused　in　her；　hardly　more　than　a　moment　since。　Not　a
sign　appeared　indicating　a　return　of　the　nervous　suffering　which　the
sense　of　his　presence　had　inflicted　on　her；　earlier　in　the　day。　The　one
emotion　in　possession　of　her　was　astonishmentastonishment　that　had
struck　her　dumb；　astonishment　that　waited；　helplessly　and　mechanically；
to　hear　more。

I　observed　Oscar；　next。　His　eyes　were　fixed　on　Lucillaabsorbed　in
watching　her。　He　spoke　to　Nugent；　without　looking　at　him；　animated；　as　it
seemed；　by　a　vague　fear　for　Lucilla；　which　was　slowly　developing　into　a
vague　fear　for　himself

〃Mind　what　you　are　doing！〃　he　said。　〃Look　at　her；　Nugentlook　at　her。〃

Nugent　approached　his　brother；　circuitously；　so　as　to　place　Oscar　between
Lucilla　and　himself。

〃Have　I　offended　you？〃　he　asked。

Oscar　looked　at　him　in　surprise。　〃Offended　with　you；〃　he　answered；　〃after
what　you　have　forgiven；　and　what　you　have　suffered；　for　my　sake？〃

〃Still；〃　persisted　the　other；　〃there　is　something　wrong。〃

〃I　am　startled；　Nugent。〃

〃Startledby　what？〃

〃By　the　question　you　have　just　put　to　Lucilla。〃

〃You　will　understand　me；　and　she　will　understand　me；　directly。〃

While　those　words　were　passing　between　the　brothers；　my　attention
remained　fixed　on　Lucilla。　Her　head　had　turned　slowly　towards　the　new
position　which　Nugent　occupied　when　he　spoke　to　Oscar。　With　this
exception；　no　other　movement　had　escaped　her。　No　sense　of　what　the　two
men　were　saying　to　each　other　seemed　to　have　entered　her　mind。　To　all
appearance　she　had　heard　nothing；　since　Nugent　had　started　the　first
doubt　in　her　whether　she　was　blind　for　life。

〃Speak　to　her；〃　I　said。　〃For　God's　sake；　don't　keep　her　in　suspense；
_now！_〃

Nugent　spoke。

〃You　have　had　reason　to　be　offended　with　me；　Lucilla。　Let　me；　if　I　can；
give　you　reason　to　be　grateful　to　me；　before　I　have　done。　When　I　was　in
New　York；　I　became　acquainted　with　a　German　surgeon；　who　had　made　a
reputation　and　a　fortune　in　America　by　his　skill　in　treating　diseases　of
the　eye。　He　had　been　especially　successful　in　curing　cases　of　blindness
given　up　as　hopeless　by　other　surgeons。　I　mentioned　your　case　to　him。　He
could　say　nothing　positively　（as　a　matter　of　course）　without　examining
you。　All　he　could　do　was　to　place　his　services　at　my　disposal；　when　he
came　to　England。　I　for　one；　Lucilla；　decline　to　consider　you　blind　for
life；　until　this　skillful　man　sees　no　more　hope　for　you　than　the　English
surgeons　have　seen。　If　there　is　the　faintest　chance　still　left　of
restoring　your　sight；　his　is；　I　firmly　believe；　the　one　hand　that　can　do
it。　He　is　now　in　England。　Say　the　wordand　I　will　bring　him　to
Dimchurch。〃

She　slowly　lifted　her　hands　to　her　head；　and　held　it　as　if　she　was
holding　her　reason　in　its　place。　Her　color　changed　from　pale　to　redfrom
red　to　pale　once　more。　She　drew　a　long；　deep；　heavy　breathand　dropped
her　hands　again；　recovering　from　the　shock。　The　change　that　followed；
held　us　all　three　breathless。　It　was　beautiful　to　see　her。　It　was　awful
to　see　her。　A　mute　ecstasy　of　hope　transfigured　her　face；　a　heavenly
smile　played　serenely　on　her　lips。　She　was　among　us；　and　yet　apart　from
us。　In　the　still　light　of　evening；　shining　in　on　her　from　the　window；　she
stood　absorbed　in　her　own　rapturethe　silent　creature　of　another　sphere！
There　was　a　moment　when　she　overcame　me　with　admiration；　and　another
moment　when　she　overcame　me　with　fear。　Both　the　men　felt　it。　Both　signed
to　me　to　speak　to　her　first。

I　advanced　a　few　steps。　I　tried　to　consider　with　myself　what　I　should
say。　It　was　useless。　I　could　neither　think　nor　speak。　I　could　only　look
at　her。　I　could　only　say；　nervously

〃Lucilla！〃

She　came　back　to　the　worldshe　came　back　to　_us_with　a　little　start；
and　a　faint　flush　of　color　in　her　cheeks。　She　turned　herself　towards　the
place　from　which　I　had　spoken；　and　whispered

〃Come！〃

In　a　moment；　my　arms　were　round　her。　Her　head　sank　on　my　bosom。　We　were
reconciled　without　a　word。　We　were　friends　again；　sisters　again；　in　an
instant。

〃Have　I　been　fainting？　have　I　been　sleeping？〃　she　said　to　me　in　low；
bewildered　tones。　〃Am　I　just　awake？　Is　this　Browndown？〃　She　suddenly
lifted　her　head。　〃Nugent！　are　you　there？〃

〃Yes。〃

She　gently　withdrew　herself　from　me；　and　approached　Nugent。

〃Did　you　speak　to　me　just　now？　Was　it　you　who　put　the　doubt　into　my　mind；
whether　I　am　really　doomed　to　be　blind　for　life？　Surely；　I　have　not
fancied　it？　Surely；　you　said　the　man　was　coming；　and　the　time　coming？〃
Her　voice　suddenly　rose。　〃The　man　who　may　cure　me！　the　time　when　I　may
see！〃

〃I　said　it；　Lucilla。　I　meant　it；　Lucilla。〃

〃Oscar！　Oscar！！　Oscar！！！〃

I　stepped　forward　to　lead　her　to　him。　Nugent　touched　me；　and　pointed　to
Oscar；　as　I　took　her　hand。　He　was　standing　before　the　glasswith　an
expression　of　despair　which　I　see　again　while　I　write　these　lineshe　was
standing　close　to　the　glass；　looking　in　silence　at　the　hideous　reflection
of　his　face。　In　sheer　pity；　I　hesitated　to　take　her　to　him。　She　stepped
forward；　and；　stretching　out　her　hand；　touched　his　shoulder。　The
reflection　of　_her_　charming　face　appeared　behind　_his_　face　in　the
glass。　She　raised　herself　on　tiptoe；　with　both　hands　on　him；　and　said；
〃The　time　is　coming；　my　darling；　when　I　may　see　You！〃

With　a　cry　of　joy；　she　drew　his　face　to　her；　and　kissed　him　on　the
forehead。　His　head　fell　on　his　breast　when　she　released　it：　he　covered
his　face　with　his　hands；　and　stifled；　for　the　moment；　all　outward
expression　of　the　pang　that　wrung　him。　I　drew　her　rapidly　away；　before
her　quick　sensibilities　had　time　to　warn　her　that　something　was　wrong。
Even　as　it　was；　she　resisted　me。　Even　as　it　was；　she　asked　suspiciously；
〃Why　do　you　take　me　away　from　him？〃

What　excuse　could　I　make？　I　was　at　my　wits'　end。

She　repeated　the　question。　For　once　Fortune　favored　us。　A　timely　knock　at
the　door　stopped　her　just　as　she　was　trying　to　release　herself　from　me。
〃Somebody　coming　in；〃　I　said。　The　servant　entered；　as　I　spoke；　with　a
letter　from　the　rectory。

CHAPTER　THE　TWENTY…NINTH

Parliamentary　Summary

OH；　the　welcome　interruption！　After　the　agitation　that　we　had　suffered；
we　all　stood　equally　in　need　of　some　such　relief　as　this。　It　was
absolutely　a　luxury　to　fall　back　again　into　the　common…place　daily
routine　of　life。　I　asked　to　whom　the　letter　was　addressed？　Nugent
answered；　〃The　letter　is　addressed　to　me；　and　the　writer　is　Mr。　Finch。〃

Having　read　the　letter；　he　turned　to　Lucilla。

〃I　sent　a　message　to　your　father；　asking　him　to　join　us　here；〃　he　said。
〃Mr。　Finch　writes　back　to　say　that　his　duties　keep　him　at　home；　and　to
suggest　that　the　rectory　is　the　fitter　place　for　the　discussion　of　family
matters。　Have　you　any　objection　to　return　to　the　house？　And　do　you　mind
going　on　first　with　Madame　Pratolungo？〃

Lucilla's　quick　suspicion　was　instantly　aroused。

〃Why　not　with　Oscar？〃　she　asked。

〃Your　father's　note　suggests　to　me；〃　replied　Nugent；　〃that　he　is　a　little
hurt　at　the　short　notice　I　gave　him　of　our　discussion　here。　I　thoughtif
you　and　Madame　Pratolungo　went　on　firstthat　you　might　make　our　peace
with　the　rector；　and　assure　him　that　we　meant　no　disrespect；　before　Oscar
and　I　appeared。　Don't　you　think　yourself　you　would　make　it　easier　for　us；
if　you　did　that？〃

Having　contrived　in　this　dexterous　way　to　separate　Oscar　and　Lucilla；　and
to　gain　time　for　composing　and　fortifying　his　brother　before　they　met
again；　Nugent　opened　the　door　for　us　to　go　out。　Lucilla　and　I　left　the
twins　together；　in　the　modest　little　room　which　had　witnessed