the white people-第10节

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I　did　as　he　told　me；　but　I　felt　as　if　I　were　walking　in　a　dream。　　My　mind　seemed　to　have　left　my　body　and　gone　back　to　the　day　when　I　sat　a　little　child　on　the　moor　and　heard　the　dull　sound　of　horses'　feet　and　the　jingling　metal　and　the　creak　of　leather　coming　nearer　in　the　thick　mist。

I　felt　as　if　Angus　were　in　a　queer；　half…awake　mood；　tooas　if　two　sets　of　thoughts　were　working　at　the　same　time　in　his　mind：　one　his　thoughts　about　Hector　MacNairn　and　the　books；　the　other　some　queer　thoughts　which　went　on　in　spite　of　him。

When　I　was　going　to　leave　the　library　and　go　up…stairs　to　dress　for　dinner　he　said　a　strange　thing　to　me；　and　he　said　it　slowly　and　in　a　heavy　voice。

〃There　is　a　thing　Jean　and　I　have　often　talked　of　telling　you；〃　he　said。　　〃We　have　not　known　what　it　was　best　to　do。　　Times　we　have　been　troubled　because　we　could　not　make　up　our　minds。　　This　Mr。　Hector　MacNairn　is　no　common　man。　　He　is　one　who　is　great　and　wise　enough　to　decide　things　plain　people　could　not　be　sure　of。　　Jean　and　I　are　glad　indeed　that　he　and　his　mother　are　coming。　　Jean　can　talk　to　her　and　I　can　talk　to　him；　being　a　man　body。　　They　will　tell　us　whether　we　have　been　right　or　wrong　and　what　we　must　do。〃

〃They　are　wise　enough　to　tell　you　anything；'　I　answered。　　〃It　sounds　as　if　you　and　Jean　had　known　some　big　secret　all　my　life。　　But　I　am　not　frightened。　　You　two　would　go　to　your　graves　hiding　it　if　it　would　hurt　me。〃

〃Eh；　bairn！〃　he　said；　suddenly；　in　a　queer；　moved　way。　　〃Eh；　bairn！〃　　And　he　took　hold　of　both　my　hands　and　kissed　them；　pressing　them　quite　long　and　emotionally　to　his　lips。　　But　he　said　nothing　else；　and　when　he　dropped　them　I　went　out　of　the　room。



CHAPTER　IX

It　was　wonderful　when　Mr。　MacNairn　and　his　mother　came。　　It　was　even　more　beautiful　than　I　had　thought　it　would　be。　　They　arrived　late　in　the　afternoon；　and　when　I　took　them　out　upon　the　terrace　the　sun　was　reddening　the　moor；　and　even　the　rough；　gray　towers　of　the　castle　were　stained　rose…color。　　There　was　that　lovely　evening　sound　of　birds　twittering　before　they　went　to　sleep　in　the　ivy。　　The　glimpses　of　gardens　below　seemed　like　glimpses　of　rich　tapestries　set　with　jewels。　　And　there　was　such　stillness！　　When　we　drew　our　three　chairs　in　a　little　group　together　and　looked　out　on　it　all；　I　felt　as　if　we　were　almost　in　heaven。

〃Yes！　yes！〃　Hector　said；　looking　slowly　round；　〃it　is　all　here。〃

〃Yes；〃　his　mother　added；　in　her　lovely；　lovely　voice。　　〃It　is　what　made　you　Ysobel。〃

It　was　so　angelic　of　them　to　feel　it　all　in　that　deep；　quiet　way；　and　to　think　that　it　was　part　of　me　and　I　a　part　of　it。　　The　climbing　moon　was　trembling　with　beauty。　　Tender　evening　airs　quivered　in　the　heather　and　fern；　and　the　late　birds　called　like　spirits。

Ever　since　the　night　when　Mrs。　MacNairn　had　held　me　in　her　arms　under　the　apple…tree　while　the　nightingale　sang　I　had　felt　toward　her　son　as　if　he　were　an　archangel　walking　on　the　earth。　　Perhaps　my　thoughts　were　exaggerated；　but　it　seemed　so　marvelous　that　he　should　be　moving　among　us；　doing　his　work；　seeing　and　talking　to　his　friends；　and　yet　that　he　should　know　that　at　any　moment　the　great　change　might　come　and　he　might　awaken　somewhere　else；　in　quite　another　place。　　If　he　had　been　like　other　men　and　I　had　been　like　other　girls；　I　suppose　that　after　that　night　when　I　heard　the　truth　I　should　have　been　plunged　into　the　darkest　woe　and　have　almost　sobbed　myself　to　death。　　Why　did　I　not？　　I　do　not　know　except　except　that　I　felt　that　no　darkness　could　come　between　us　because　no　darkness　could　touch　him。　　He　could　never　be　anything　but　alive　alive。　　If　I　could　not　see　him　it　would　only　be　because　my　eyes　were　not　clear　and　strong　enough。　　I　seemed　to　be　waiting　for　something。　　I　wanted　to　keep　near　him。

I　was　full　of　this　feeling　as　we　sat　together　on　the　terrace　and　watched　the　moon。　　I　could　scarcely　look　away　from　him。　　He　was　rather　pale　that　evening；　but　there　seemed　to　be　a　light　behind　his　pallor；　and　his　eyes　seemed　to　see　so　much　more　than　the　purple　and　yellow　of　the　heather　and　gorse　as　they　rested　on　them。

After　I　had　watched　him　silently　for　a　little　while　I　leaned　forward　and　pointed　to　a　part　of　the　moor　where　there　was　an　unbroken　blaze　of　gorse　in　full　bloom　like　a　big　patch　of　gold。

〃That　is　where　I　was　sitting　when　Wee　Brown　Elspeth　was　first　brought　to　me；〃　I　said。

He　sat　upright　and　looked。　　〃Is　it？〃　he　answered。　　〃Will　you　take　me　there　to…morrow？　　I　have　always　wanted　to　see　the　place。〃

〃Would　you　like　to　go　early　in　the　morning？　　The　mist　is　more　likely　to　be　there　then；　as　it　was　that　day。　　It　is　so　mysterious　and　beautiful。　　Would　you　like　to　do　that？〃　I　asked　him。

〃Better　than　anything　else！〃　he　said。　　〃Yes；　let　us　go　in　the　morning。〃

〃Wee　Brown　Elspeth　seems　very　near　me　this　evening；〃　I　said。　　〃I　feel　as　if〃　　I　broke　off　and　began　again。　　〃I　have　a　puzzled　feeling　about　her。　　This　afternoon　I　found　some　manuscript　pushed　behind　a　book　on　a　high　shelf　in　the　library。　　Angus　said　he　had　hidden　it　there　because　it　was　a　savage　story　he　did　not　wish　me　to　read。　　It　was　the　history　of　the　feud　between　Ian　Red　Hand　and　Dark　Malcolm　of　the　Glen。　　Dark　Malcolm's　child　was　called　Wee　Brown　Elspeth　hundreds　of　years　ago　five　hundred；　I　think。　　It　makes　me　feel　so　bewildered　when　I　remember　the　one　I　played　with。〃

〃It　was　a　bloody　story；〃　he　said。　　〃I　heard　it　only　a　few　days　before　we　met　at　Sir　Ian's　house　in　London。〃

That　made　me　recall　something。

〃Was　that　why　you　started　when　I　told　you　about　Elspeth？〃　I　asked。

〃Yes。　　Perhaps　the　one　you　played　with　was　a　little　descendant　who　had　inherited　her　name；〃　he　answered；　a　trifle　hurriedly。　　〃I　confess　I　was　startled　for　a　moment。〃

I　put　my　hand　up　to　my　forehead　and　rubbed　it　unconsciously。　　I　could　not　help　seeing　a　woesome　picture。

〃Poor　little　soul；　with　the　blood　pouring　from　her　heart　and　her　brown　hair　spread　over　her　dead　father's　breast！〃　　I　stopped；　because　a　faint　memory　came　back　to　me。　　〃Mine；〃　I　stammered〃minehow　strange！had　a　great　stain　on　the　embroideries　of　her　dress。　　She　looked　at　itand　looked。　　She　looked　as　if　she　didn't　like　itas　if　she　didn't　understand　how　it　came　there。　　She　covered　it　with　ferns　and　bluebells。〃

I　felt　as　if　I　were　being　drawn　away　into　a　dream。　　I　made　a　sudden　effort　to　come　back。　　I　ceased　rubbing　my　forehead　and　dropped　my　hand；　sitting　upright。

〃I　must　ask　Angus　and　Jean　to　tell　me　about　her；〃　I　said。　　〃Of　course；　they　must　have　known。　　I　wonder　why　I　never　thought　of　asking　questions　before。〃

It　was　a　strange　look　I　met　when　I　involuntarily　turned　toward　himsuch　an　absorbed；　strange；　tender　look！

I　knew　he　sat　quite　late　in　the　library　that　night；　talking　to　Angus　after　his　mother　and　I　went　to　our　rooms。　　Just　as　I　was　falling　asleep　I　remember　there　floated　through　my　mind　a　vague　recollection　of　what　Angus　had　said　to　me　of　asking　his　advice　about　something；　and　I　wondered　if　he　would　reach　the　subject　in　their　talk；　or　if　they　would　spend　all　their　time　in　poring　over　manuscripts　and　books　together。

The　moor　wore　its　most　mysterious　look　when　I　got　up　in　the　early　morning。　　It　had　hidden　itself　in　its　softest　snows　of　white；　swathing　mist。　　Only　here　and　there　dark　fir…trees　showed　themselves　above　it；　and　now　and　then　the　whiteness　thinned　or　broke　and　drifted。　　It　was　as　I　had　wanted　him　to　see　itjust　as　I　had　wanted　to　walk　through　it　with　him。

We　had　met　in　the　hall　as　we　had　planned；　and；　wrapped　in　our　plaids　because　the　early　morning　air　was　cold；　we　tramped　away　together。　　No　one　but　myself　could　ever　realize　what　it　was　like。　　I　had　never　known　that　there　could　be　such　a　feeling　of　companionship　in　the　world。　　It　would　not　have　been　necessary　for　us　to　talk　at　all　if　we　had　felt　silent。　　We　should　have　been　saying　things　to　each　other　without　words。　　But　we　did　talk　as　we　walkedin　quiet　voices　which　seemed　made　quieter　by　the　mist；　and　of　quiet　things　which　such　voices　seemed　to　belong　to。

We　crossed　the　park　to　a　stile　in　a　hedge　where　a　path　led　at　once　on　to　the　moor。　　Part　of　the　park　itself　had　once　been　moorland；　and　was　dark　with　slender　firs　and　thick　grown　with　heather　and　broom。　　On　the　moor　the　mist　grew　thicker；　and　if　I　had　not　so　well　known　the　path　we　might　have　lost　ourselves　in　it。　　Also　I　knew　by　heart　certain　little　streams　that　rushed　and　made　guiding　sounds　which　were　sometimes　loud　whispers　and　sometimes　singing　babbles。　　The　damp；　sweet　scent　of　fern　and　heather　was　in　our　nostrils；　as　we　climbed　we　breathed　its　freshness。

〃There　is　a　sort　of　unearthly　loveliness　in　it　all；〃　Hector　MacNairn　said　to　me。　　His　voice　was　rather　like　his　mother's。　　It　always　seemed　to　say　so　much　more　than　his　words。

〃We　might　be　ghosts；〃　I　answered。　　〃We　might　be　some　of　those　the　mist　hides　because　they　like　to　be　hidden。〃

〃You　would　not　be　afraid　if　you　met　one　of　them？〃　he　said。

〃No。　　I　think　I　am　sure　of　that。　　I　should　feel　that　it　was　only　like　myself；　and；　if　I　could　hear；　might　tell　me　things　I　want　to　know。〃

〃What　do　you　want　to　know？〃　he　asked　me；　very　low。　　〃You！〃

〃Only　what　everybody　wants　to　knowthat　it　is　really　AWAKENING　free；　ready　for　wonderful　new　things；　finding　oneself　in　the　midst　of　wonders。　　I　don