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really　minded　it　much　more　than　that　Guardian。　　Angel　of　his。　　It
probably　grieved　them　about　equally；　but　they　could　equally　forgive　it。
Nothing　came　of　his　pose　regarding　〃the　damned　human　race〃　except　his
invention　of　the　Human　Race　Luncheon　Club。　　This　was　confined　to　four
persons　who　were　never　all　got　together；　and　it　soon　perished　of　their
indifference。

In　the　earlier　days　that　I　have　more　specially　in　mind　one　of　the
questions　that　we　used　to　debate　a　good　deal　was　whether　every　human
motive　was　not　selfish。　　We　inquired　as　to　every　impulse；　the　noblest；
the　holiest　in　effect；　and　he　found　them　in　the　last　analysis　of　selfish
origin。　　Pretty　nearly　the　whole　time　of　a　certain　railroad　run　from　New
York　to　Hartford　was　taken　up　with　the　scrutiny　of　the　self…sacrifice　of
a　mother　for　her　child；　of　the　abandon　of　the　lover　who　dies　in　saving
his　mistress　from　fire　or　flood；　of　the　hero's　courage　in　the　field　and
the　martyr's　at　the　stake。　　Each　he　found　springing　from　the　unconscious
love　of　self　and　the　dread　of　the　greater　pain　which　the　self…sacrificer
would　suffer　in…forbearing　the　sacrifice。　　If　we　had　any　time　left　from
this　inquiry　that　day；　he　must　have　devoted　it　to　a　high　regret　that
Napoleon　did　not　carry　out　his　purpose　of　invading　England；　for　then　he
would　have　destroyed　the　feudal　aristocracy；　or　〃reformed　the　lords；〃　as
it　might　be　called　now。　　He　thought　that　would　have　been　an　incalculable
blessing　to　the　English　people　and　the　world。　　Clemens　was　always
beautifully　and　unfalteringly　a　republican。　　None　of　his　occasional
misgivings　for　America　implicated　a　return　to　monarchy。　　Yet　he　felt
passionately　the　splendor　of　the　English　monarchy；　and　there　was　a　time
when　he　gloried　in　that　figurative　poetry　by　which　the　king　was　phrased
as　〃the　Majesty　of　England。〃　　He　rolled　the　words　deep…throatedly　out；
and　exulted　in　their　beauty　as　if　it　were　beyond　any　other　glory　of　the
world。　　He　read；　or　read　at；　English　history　a　great　deal；　and　one　of　the
by…products　of　his　restless　invention　was　a　game　of　English　Kings　（like
the　game　of　Authors）　for　children。　　I　do　not　know　whether　he　ever
perfected　this；　but　I　am　quite　sure　it　was　not　put　upon　the　market。　　Very
likely　he　brought　it　to　a　practicable　stage；　and　then　tired　of　it；　as　he
was　apt　to　do　in　the　ultimation　of　his　vehement　undertakings。




XX。

He　satisfied　the　impassioned　demand　of　his　nature　for　incessant
activities　of　every　kind　by　taking　a　personal　as　well　as　a　pecuniary
interest　in　the　inventions　of　others。　　At　one　moment　〃the　damned　human
race〃　was　almost　to　be　redeemed　by　a　process　of　founding　brass　without
air　bubbles　in　it；　if　this　could　once　be　accomplished；　as　I　understood；
or　misunderstood；　brass　could　be　used　in　art…printing　to　a　degree
hitherto　impossible。　　I　dare　say　I　have　got　it　wrong；　but　I　am　not
mistaken　as　to　Clemens's　enthusiasm　for　the　process；　and　his　heavy　losses
in　paying　its　way　to　ultimate　failure。　　He　was　simultaneously　absorbed　in
the　perfection　of　a　type…setting　machine；　which　he　was　paying　the
inventor　a　salary　to　bring　to　a　perfection　so　expensive　that　it　was
practically　impracticable。　　We　were　both　printers　by　trade；　and　I　could
take　the　same　interest　in　this　wonderful　piece　of　mechanism　that　he
could；　and　it　was　so　truly　wonderful　that　it　did　everything　but　walk　and
talk。　　Its　ingenious　creator　was　so　bent　upon　realizing　the　highest　ideal
in　it　that　he　produced　a　machine　of　quite　unimpeachable　efficiency。　　But
it　was　so　costly；　when　finished；　that　it　could　not　be　made　for　less　than
twenty　thousand　dollars；　if　the　parts　were　made　by　hand。　　This　sum　was
prohibitive　of　its　introduction；　unless　the　requisite　capital　could　be
found　for　making　the　parts　by　machinery；　and　Clemens　spent　many　months　in
vainly　trying　to　get　this　money　together。　　In　the　mean　time　simpler
machines　had　been　invented　and　the　market　filled；　and　his　investment　of
three　hundred　thousand　dollars　in　the　beautiful　miracle　remained
permanent　but　not　profitable。　　I　once　went　with　him　to　witness　its
performance；　and　it　did　seem　to　me　the　last　word　in　its　way；　but　it　had
been　spoken　too　exquisitely；　too　fastidiously。　　I　never　heard　him　devote
the　inventor　to　the　infernal　gods；　as　he　was　apt　to　do　with　the　geniuses
he　lost　money　by；　and　so　I　think　he　did　not　regard　him　as　a　traitor。

In　these　things；　and　in　his　other　schemes　for　the　'subiti　guadagni'　of
the　speculator　and　the　〃sudden　making　of　splendid　names〃　for　the
benefactors　of　our　species；　Clemens　satisfied　the　Colonel　Sellers　nature
in　himself　（from　which　he　drew　the　picture　of　that　wild　and　lovable
figure）；　and　perhaps　made　as　good　use　of　his　money　as　he　could。　　He　did
not　care　much　for　money　in　itself；　but　he　luxuriated　in　the　lavish　use　of
it；　and　he　was　as　generous　with　it　as　ever　a　man　was。　He　liked　giving　it；
but　he　commonly　wearied　of　giving　it　himself；　and　wherever　he　lived　he
established　an　almoner；　whom　he　fully　trusted　to　keep　his　left　hand
ignorant　of　what　his　right　hand　was　doing。　　I　believe　he　felt　no　finality
in　charity；　but　did　it　because　in　its　provisional　way　it　was　the　only
thing　a　man　could　do。　I　never　heard　him　go　really　into　any　sociological
inquiry；　and　I　have　a　feeling　that　that　sort　of　thing　baffled　and
dispirited　him。　　No　one　can　read　The　Connecticut　Yankee　and　not　be　aware
of　the　length　and　breadth　of　his　sympathies　with　poverty；　but　apparently
he　had　not　thought　out　any　scheme　for　righting　the　economic　wrongs　we
abound　in。　　I　cannot　remember　our　ever　getting　quite　down　to　a　discussion
of　the　matter；　we　came　very　near　it　once　in　the　day　of　the　vast　wave　of
emotion　sent　over　the　world　by　'Looking　Backward；'　and　again　when　we　were
all　so　troubled　by　the　great　coal　strike　in　Pennsylvania；　in　considering
that　he　seemed　to　be　for　the　time　doubtful　of　the　justice　of　the
workingman's　cause。　　At　all　other　times　he　seemed　to　know　that　whatever
wrongs　the　workingman　committed　work　was　always　in　the　right。

When　Clemens　returned　to　America　with　his　family；　after　lecturing　round
the　world；　I　again　saw　him　in　New　York；　where　I　so　often　saw　him　while　he
was　shaping　himself　for　that　heroic　enterprise。　　He　would　come　to　me；　and
talk　sorrowfully　over　his　financial　ruin；　and　picture　it　to　himself　as
the　stuff　of　some　unhappy　dream；　which；　after　long　prosperity；　had
culminated　the　wrong　way。　　It　was　very　melancholy；　very　touching；　but　the
sorrow　to　which　he　had　come　home　from　his　long　journey　had　not　that
forlorn　bewilderment　in　it。　　He　was　looking　wonderfully　well；　and　when　I
wanted　the　name　of　his　elixir；　he　said　it　was　plasmon。　　He　was　apt；　for　a
man　who　had　put　faith　so　decidedly　away　from　him；　to　take　it　back　and　pin
it　to　some　superstition；　usually　of　a　hygienic　sort。　　Once；　when　he　was
well　on　in　years；　he　came　to　New　York　without　glasses；　and　announced　that
he　and　all　his　family；　so　astigmatic　and　myopic　and　old…sighted；　had；　so
to　speak；　burned　their　spectacles　behind　them　upon　the　instruction　of
some　sage　who　had　found　out　that　they　were　a　delusion。　　The　next　time　he
came　he　wore　spectacles　freely；　almost　ostentatiously；　and　I　heard　from
others　that　the　whole　Clemens　family　had　been　near　losing　their　eyesight
by　the　miracle　worked　in　their　behalf。　　Now；　I　was　not　surprised　to　learn
that　〃the　damned　human　race〃　was　to　be　saved　by　plasmon；　if　anything；　and
that　my　first　duty　was　to　visit　the　plasmon　agency　with　him；　and　procure
enough　plasmon　to　secure　my　family　against　the　ills　it　was　heir　to　for
evermore。　　I　did　not　immediately　understand　that　plasmon　was　one　of　the
investments　which　he　had　made　from　〃the　substance　of　things　hoped　for；〃
and　in　the　destiny　of　a　disastrous　disappointment。　　But　after　paying　off
the　creditors　of　his　late　publishing　firm；　he　had　to　do　something　with
his　money；　and　it　was　not　his　fault　if　he　did　not　make　a　fortune　out　of
plasmon。




XXI。

For　a　time　it　was　a　question　whether　he　should　not　go　back　with　his
family　to　their　old　home　in　Hartford。　　Perhaps　the　father's　and　mother's
hearts　drew　them　there　all　the　more　strongly　because　of　the　grief　written
ineffaceably　over　it；　but　for　the　younger　ones　it　was　no　longer　the
measure　of　the　world。　　It　was　easier　for　all　to　stay　on　indefinitely　in
New　York；　which　is　a　sojourn　without　circumstance；　and　equally　the　home
of　exile　and　of　indecision。　　The　Clemenses　took　a　pleasant；　spacious
house　at　Riverdale；　on　the　Hudson；　and　there　I　began　to　see　them　again　on
something　like　the　sweet　old　terms。　　They　lived　far　more　unpretentiously
than　they　used；　and　I　think　with　a　notion　of　economy；　which　they　had
never　very　successfully　practised。　　I　recall　that　at　the　end　of　a　certain
year　in　Hartford；　when　they　had　been　saving　and　paying　cash　for
everything；　Clemens　wrote；　reminding　me　of　their　avowed　experiment；　and
asking　me　to　guess　how　many　bills　they　had　at　New　Year's；　he　hastened　to
say　that　a　horse…car　would　not　have　held　them。　　At　Riverdale　they　kept　no
carriage；　and　there　was　a　snowy　night　when　I　drove　up　to　their　handsome
old　mansion　in　the　station　carryall；　which　was　crusted　with　mud　as　from
the　going　down　of　the　Deluge　after　transporting　Noah　and　his　family　from
the　Ark　to　whatever　point　they