barnaby rudge(巴纳比·卢杰)-第41节
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‘The truth is；’ said Edward； bringing a chair forward； and
seating himself near the table； ‘that I slept but ill last night； and
was glad to rise。 The cause of my uneasiness cannot but be known
to you； sir； and it is upon that I wish to speak。’
‘My dear boy；’ returned his father； ‘confide in me； I beg。 But
you know my constitution—don’t be prosy； Ned。’
‘I will be plain； and brief；’ said Edward。
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‘Don’t say you will； my good fellow；’ returned his father；
crossing his legs； ‘or you certainly will not。 You are going to tell
me’—
‘Plainly this； then；’ said the son； with an air of great concern；
‘that I know where you were last night—from being on the spot；
indeed—and whom you saw； and what your purpose was。’
‘You don’t say so！’ cried his father。 ‘I am delighted to hear it。 It
saves us the worry； and terrible wear and tear of a long
explanation； and is a great relief for both。 At the very house！ Why
didn’t you come up？ I should have been charmed to see you。’
‘I knew that what I had to say would be better said after a
night’s reflection； when both of us were cool；’ returned the son。
‘‘Fore Gad； Ned；’ rejoined the father； ‘I was cool enough last
night。 That detestable Maypole！ By some infernal contrivance of
the builder； it holds the wind； and keeps it fresh。 You remember
the sharp east wind that blew so hard five weeks ago？ I give you
my honour it was rampant in that old house last night； though out
of doors there was a dead calm。 But you were saying’—
‘I was about to say； Heaven knows how seriously and earnestly；
that you have made me wretched； sir。 Will you hear me gravely for
a moment？’
‘My dear Ned；’ said his father； ‘I will hear you with the patience
of an anchorite。 Oblige me with the milk。’
‘I saw Miss Haredale last night；’ Edward resumed； when he had
complied with this request； ‘her uncle； in her presence；
immediately after your interview； and； as of course I know； in
consequence of it； forbade me the house； and； with circumstances
of indignity which are of your creation I am sure； commanded me
to leave it on the instant。’
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‘For his manner of doing so； I give you my honour； Ned； I am
not accountable；’ said his father。 ‘That you must excuse。 He is a
mere boor； a log； a brute； with no address in life。—Positively a fly
in the jug。 The first I have seen this year。’
Edward rose； and paced the room。 His imperturbable parent
sipped his tea。
‘Father；’ said the young man； stopping at length before him； ‘we
must not trifle in this matter。 We must not deceive each other； or
ourselves。 Let me pursue the manly open part I wish to take； and
do not repel me by this unkind indifference。’
‘Whether I am indifferent or no；’ returned the other； ‘I leave
you； my dear boy； to judge。 A ride of twenty…five or thirty miles；
through miry roads—a Maypole dinner—a tête…à…tête with
Haredale； which； vanity apart； was quite a Valentine and Orson
business—a Maypole bed—a Maypole landlord； and a Maypole
retinue of idiots and centaurs；—whether the voluntary endurance
of these things looks like indifference； dear Ned； or like the
excessive anxiety； and devotion； and all that sort of thing； of a
parent； you shall determine for yourself。’
‘I wish you to consider； sir；’ said Edward； ‘in what a cruel
situation I am placed。 Loving Miss Haredale as I do’—
‘My dear fellow；’ interrupted his father with a compassionate
smile； ‘you do nothing of the kind。 You don’t know anything about
it。 There’s no such thing； I assure you。 Now； do take my word for
it。 You have good sense； Ned；—great good sense。 I wonder you
should be guilty of such amazing absurdities。 You really surprise
me。’
‘I repeat；’ said his son firmly； ‘that I love her。 You have
interposed to part us； and have； to the extent I have just now told
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you of； succeeded。 May I induce you； sir； in time； to think more
favourably of our attachment； or is it your intention and your fixed
design to hold us asunder if you can？’
‘My dear Ned；’ returned his father； taking a pinch of snuff and
pushing his box towards him； ‘that is my purpose most
undoubtedly。’
‘The time that has elapsed；’ rejoined his son； ‘since I began to
know her worth； has flown in such a dream that until now I have
hardly once paused to reflect upon my true position。 What is it？
From my childhood I have been accustomed to luxury and
idleness； and have been bred as though my fortune were large；
and my expectations almost without a limit。 The idea of wealth has
been familiarised to me from my cradle。 I have been taught to look
upon those means； by which men raise themselves to riches and
distinction； as being beyond my heeding； and beneath my care。 I
have been； as the phrase is； liberally educated； and am fit for
nothing。 I find myself at last wholly dependent upon you； with no
resource but in your favour。 In this momentous question of my life
we do not； and it would seem we never can； agree。 I have shrunk
instinctively alike from those to whom you have urged me to pay
court； and from the motives of interest and gain which have
rendered them in your eyes visible objects for my suit。 If there
never has been thus much plain…speaking between us before； sir；
the fault has not been mine； indeed。 If I seem to speak too plainly
now； it is； believe me father； in the hope that there may be a
franker spirit； a worthier reliance； and a kinder confidence
between us in time to come。’
‘My good fellow；’ said his smiling father； ‘you quite affect me。
Go on； my dear Edward； I beg。 But remember your promise。
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There is great earnestness； vast candour； a manifest sincerity in all
you say； but I fear I observe the faintest indications of a tendency
to prose。’
‘I am very sorry； sir。’
‘I am very sorry； too； Ned； but you know that I cannot fix my
mind for any long period upon one subject。 If you’ll come to the
point at once； I’ll imagine all that ought to go before； and conclude
it said。 Oblige me with the milk again。 Listening； invariably makes
me feverish。’
‘What I would say then； tends to this；’ said Edward。 ‘I cannot
bear this absolute dependence； sir； even upon you。 Time has been
lost and opportunity thrown away； but I am yet a young man； and
may retrieve it。 Will you give me the means of devoting such
abilities and energies as I possess； to some worthy pursuit？ Will
you let me try to make for myself an honourable path in life？ For
any term you please to name—say for five years if you will—I will
pledge myself to move no further in the matter of our difference
without your fall concurrence。 During that period； I will
endeavour earnestly and patiently； if ever man did； to open some
prospect for myself； and free you from the burden you fear I
should become if I married one whose worth and beauty are her
chief endowments。 Will you do this； sir？ At the expiration of the
term we
