太子爷小说网 > 英语电子书 > fantastic fables >

第5节

fantastic fables-第5节

小说: fantastic fables 字数: 每页4000字

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页,按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页,按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部!
————未阅读完?加入书签已便下次继续阅读!





The machine immediately broke through the massive substructure upon 



which it was builded; and sank out of sight into the earth; the 



aeronaut springing out barely in time to save himself。







〃Well;〃 said he; 〃I have done enough to demonstrate the correctness 



of my details。  The defects;〃 he added; with a look at the ruined 



brick…work; 〃are merely basic and fundamental。〃







Upon this assurance the people came forward with subscriptions to 



build a second machine。















The Angel's Tear















AN Unworthy Man who had laughed at the woes of a Woman whom he 



loved; was bewailing his indiscretion in sack…cloth…of…gold and 



ashes…of…roses; when the Angel of Compassion looked down upon him; 



saying:







〃Poor mortal! … how unblest not to know the wickedness of laughing 



at another's misfortune!〃







So saying; he let fall a great tear; which; encountering in its 



descent a current of cold air; was congealed into a hail…stone。  



This struck the Unworthy Man on the head and set him rubbing that 



bruised organ vigorously with one hand while vainly attempting to 



expand an umbrella with the other。







Thereat the Angel of Compassion did most shamelessly and wickedly 



laugh。















The City of Political Distinction















JAMRACH the Rich; being anxious to reach the City of Political 



Distinction before nightfall; arrived at a fork of the road and was 



undecided which branch to follow; so he consulted a Wise…Looking 



Person who sat by the wayside。







〃Take THAT road;〃 said the Wise…Looking Person; pointing it out; 



〃it is known as the Political Highway。〃







〃Thank you;〃 said Jamrach; and was about to proceed。







〃About how much do you thank me?〃 was the reply。  〃Do you suppose I 



am here for my health?〃







As Jamrach had not become rich by stupidity; he handed something to 



his guide and hastened on; and soon came to a toll…gate kept by a 



Benevolent Gentleman; to whom he gave something; and was suffered 



to pass。  A little farther along he came to a bridge across an 



imaginary stream; where a Civil Engineer (who had built the bridge) 



demanded something for interest on his investment; and it was 



forthcoming。  It was growing late when Jamrach came to the margin 



of what appeared to be a lake of black ink; and there the road 



terminated。  Seeing a Ferryman in his boat he paid something for 



his passage and was about to embark。







〃No;〃 said the Ferryman。  〃Put your neck in this noose; and I will 



tow you over。  It is the only way;〃 he added; seeing that the 



passenger was about to complain of the accommodations。







In due time he was dragged across; half strangled; and dreadfully 



beslubbered by the feculent waters。  〃There;〃 said the Ferryman; 



hauling him ashore and disengaging him; 〃you are now in the City of 



Political Distinction。  It has fifty millions of inhabitants; and 



as the colour of the Filthy Pool does not wash off; they all look 



exactly alike。〃







〃Alas!〃 exclaimed Jamrach; weeping and bewailing the loss of all 



his possessions; paid out in tips and tolls; 〃I will go back with 



you。〃







〃I don't think you will;〃; said the Ferryman; pushing off; 〃this 



city is situated on the Island of the Unreturning。〃















The Party Over There















A MAN in a Hurry; whose watch was at his lawyer's; asked a Grave 



Person the time of day。







〃I heard you ask that Party Over There the same question;〃 said the 



Grave Person。  〃What answer did he give you?〃







〃He said it was about three o'clock;〃 replied the Man in a Hurry; 



〃but he did not look at his watch; and as the sun is nearly down; I 



think it is later。〃







〃The fact that the sun is nearly down;〃 the Grave Person said; 〃is 



immaterial; but the fact that he did not consult his timepiece and 



make answer after due deliberation and consideration is fatal。  The 



answer given;〃 continued the Grave Person; consulting his own 



timepiece; 〃is of no effect; invalid; and absurd。〃







〃What; then;〃 said the Man in a Hurry; eagerly; 〃is the time of 



day?〃







〃The question is remanded to the Party Over There for a new 



answer;〃 replied the Grave Person; returning his watch to his 



pocket and moving away with great dignity。







He was a Judge of an Appellate Court。















The Poetess of Reform















ONE pleasant day in the latter part of eternity; as the Shades of 



all the great writers were reposing upon beds of asphodel and moly 



in the Elysian fields; each happy in hearing from the lips of the 



others nothing but copious quotation from his own works (for so 



Jove had kindly bedeviled their ears); there came in among them 



with triumphant mien a Shade whom none knew。  She (for the newcomer 



showed such evidences of sex as cropped hair and a manly stride) 



took a seat in their midst; and smiling a superior smile explained:







〃After centuries of oppression I have wrested my rights from the 



grasp of the jealous gods。  On earth I was the Poetess of Reform; 



and sang to inattentive ears。  Now for an eternity of honour and 



glory。〃







But it was not to be so; and soon she was the unhappiest of 



mortals; vainly desirous to wander again in gloom by the infernal 



lakes。  For Jove had not bedeviled her ears; and she heard from the 



lips of each blessed Shade an incessant flow of quotation from his 



own works。  Moreover; she was denied the happiness of repeating her 



poems。  She could not recall a line of them; for Jove had decreed 



that the memory of them abide in Pluto's painful domain; as a part 



of the apparatus。















The Unchanged Diplomatist















THE republic of Madagonia had been long and well represented at the 



court of the King of Patagascar by an officer called a Dazie; but 



one day the Madagonian Parliament conferred upon him the superior 



rank of Dandee。  The next day after being apprised of his new 



dignity he hastened to inform the King of Patagascar。







〃Ah; yes; I understand;〃 said the King; 〃you have been promoted and 



given increased pay and allowances。  There was an appropriation?〃







〃Yes; your Majesty。〃







〃And you have now two heads; have you not?〃







〃Oh; no; your Majesty … only one; I assure you。〃







〃Indeed?  And how many legs and arms?〃







〃Two of each; Sire … only two of each。〃







〃And only one body?〃







〃Just a single body; as you perceive。〃







Thoughtfully removing his crown and scratching the royal head; the 



monarch was silent a moment; and then he said:







〃I fancy that appropriation has been misapplied。  You seem to be 



about the same kind of idiot that you were before。〃















An Invitation















A PIOUS Person who had overcharged his paunch with dead bird by way 



of attesting his gratitude for escaping the many calamities which 



Heaven had sent upon others; fell asleep at table and dreamed。  He 



thought he lived in a country where turkeys were the ruling class; 



and every year they held a feast to manifest their sense of 



Heaven's goodness in sparing their lives to kill them later。  One 



day; about a week before one of these feasts; he met the Supreme 



Gobbler; who said:







〃You will please get yourself into good condition for the 



Thanksgiving dinner。〃







〃Yes; your Excellency;〃 replied the Pious Person; delighted; 〃I 



shall come hungry; I assure you。  It is no small privilege to dine 



with your Excellency。〃







The Supreme Gobbler eyed him for a moment in silence; then he said:







〃As one of the lower domestic animals; you cannot be expected to 



know much; but you might know something。  Since you do not; you 



will permit me to point out that being asked to dinner is one 



thing; being asked to dine is another and a different thing。〃







With this significant remark the Supreme Gobbler left him; and 



thenceforward the Pious Person dreamed of himself as white meat and 



dark until rudely awakened by decapitation。















The Ashes of Madame Blavatsky















THE two brightest lights of Theosophy being in the same place at 



once in company with the Ashes of Madame Blavatsky; an Inquiring 



Soul thought the time propitious to learn something worth while。  



So he sat at the feet of one awhile; and then he sat awhile at the 



feet of the other; and at last he applied his ear to the keyhole of 



the casket containing the Ashes of Madame Blavatsky。  When the 



Inquiring Soul had completed his course of instruction he declared 



himself the Ahkoond of Swat; fell into the baleful habit of 



standing on his head; and 

返回目录 上一页 下一页 回到顶部 0 1

你可能喜欢的