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第18节

fantastic fables-第18节

小说: fantastic fables 字数: 每页4000字

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〃That is nothing;〃 the Monkey said。  And going to a bigger pine; he 



rose by his own unaided exertions to the top branch; where he sat; 



all bedaubed with the pitch which that vegetable exudes。  〃Now;〃 he 



added; 〃I am a self…made Monkey。〃















The Patriot and the Banker















A PATRIOT who had taken office poor and retired rich was introduced 



at a bank where he desired to open an account。







〃With pleasure;〃 said the Honest Banker; 〃we shall be glad to do 



business with you; but first you must make yourself an honest man 



by restoring what you stole from the Government。〃







〃Good heavens!〃 cried the Patriot; 〃if I do that; I shall have 



nothing to deposit with you。〃







〃I don't see that;〃 the Honest Banker replied。  〃We are not the 



whole American people。〃







〃Ah; I understand;〃 said the Patriot; musing。  〃At what sum do you 



estimate this bank's proportion of the country's loss by me?〃







〃About a dollar;〃 answered the Honest Banker。







And with a proud consciousness of serving his country wisely and 



well he charged that sum to the account。















The Mourning Brothers















OBSERVING that he was about to die; an Old Man called his two Sons 



to his bedside and expounded the situation。







〃My children;〃 said he; 〃you have not shown me many marks of 



respect during my life; but you will attest your sorrow for my 



death。  To him who the longer wears a weed upon his hat in memory 



of me shall go my entire fortune。  I have made a will to that 



effect。〃







So when the Old Man was dead each of the youths put a weed upon his 



hat and wore it until he was himself old; when; seeing that neither 



would give in; they agreed that the younger should leave off his 



weeds and the elder give him half of the estate。  But when the 



elder applied for the property he found that there had been an 



Executor!







Thus were hypocrisy and obstinacy fitly punished。















The Disinterested Arbiter















TWO Dogs who had been fighting for a bone; without advantage to 



either; referred their dispute to a Sheep。  The Sheep patiently 



heard their statements; then flung the bone into a pond。







〃Why did you do that?〃 said the Dogs。







〃Because;〃 replied the Sheep; 〃I am a vegetarian。〃















The Thief and the Honest Man















A THIEF who had brought a suit against his accomplices to recover 



his share of the plunder taken from an Honest Man; demanded the 



Honest Man's attendance at the trial to testify to his loss。  But 



the Honest Man explained that as he was merely the agent of a 



company of other honest men it was none of his affair; and when the 



officers came to serve him with a subpoena he hid himself behind 



his back and wiled away the dragging hours of retirement and 



inaction by picking his own pockets。















The Dutiful Son















A MILLIONAIRE who had gone to an almshouse to visit his father met 



a Neighbour there; who was greatly surprised。







〃What!〃 said the Neighbour; 〃you do sometimes visit your father?〃







〃If our situations were reversed;〃 said the Millionaire; 〃I am sure 



he would visit me。  The old man has always been rather proud of me。  



Besides;〃 he added; softly; 〃I had to have his signature; I am 



insuring his life。〃



















AESOPUS EMENDATUS



















The Cat and the Youth















A CAT fell in love with a handsome Young Man; and entreated Venus 



to change her into a woman。







〃I should think;〃 said Venus; 〃you might make so trifling a change 



without bothering me。  However; be a woman。〃







Afterward; wishing to see if the change were complete; Venus caused 



a mouse to approach; whereupon the woman shrieked and made such a 



show of herself that the Young Man would not marry her。















The Farmer and His Sons















A FARMER being about to die; and knowing that during his illness 



his Sons had permitted the vineyard to become overgrown with weeds 



while they improved the shining hour by gambling with the doctor; 



said to them:







〃My boys; there is a great treasure buried in the vineyard。  You 



dig in the ground until you find it。〃







So the Sons dug up all the weeds; and all the vines too; and even 



neglected to bury the old man。















Jupiter and the Baby Show















JUPITER held a baby show; open to all animals; and a Monkey entered 



her hideous cub for a prize; but Jupiter only laughed at her。







〃It is all very well;〃 said the Monkey; 〃to laugh at my offspring; 



but you go into any gallery of antique sculpture and look at the 



statues and busts of the fellows that you begot yourself。〃







〃'Sh! don't expose me;〃 said Jupiter; and awarded her the first 



prize。















The Man and the Dog















A MAN who had been bitten by a Dog was told that the wound would 



heal if he would dip a piece of bread in the blood and give it to 



the Dog。  He did so。







〃No;〃 said the Dog; 〃if I were to accept that; it might be thought 



that in biting you I was actuated by improper motives。〃







〃And by what motives were you actuated?〃 asked the Man。







〃I desired;〃 replied the Dog; 〃merely to harmonise myself with the 



Divine Scheme of Things。  I'm a child of Nature。〃















The Cat and the Birds















HEARING that the Birds in an aviary were ill; a Cat went to them 



and said that he was a physician; and would cure them if they would 



let him in。







〃To what school of medicine do you belong?〃 asked the Birds。







〃I am a Miaulopathist;〃 said the Cat。







〃Did you ever practise Gohomoeopathy?〃 the Birds inquired; winking 



faintly。







The Cat took the hint and his leave。















Mercury and the Woodchopper















A WOODCHOPPER; who had dropped his axe into a deep pool; besought 



Mercury to recover it for him。  That thoughtless deity immediately 



plunged into the pool; which became so salivated that the trees 



about its margin all came loose and dropped out。















The Fox and the Grapes















A FOX; seeing some sour grapes hanging within an inch of his nose; 



and being unwilling to admit that there was anything he would not 



eat; solemnly declared that they were out of his reach。















The Penitent Thief















A BOY who had been taught by his Mother to steal grew to be a man 



and was a professional public official。  One day he was taken in 



the act and condemned to die。  While going to the place of 



execution he passed his Mother and said to her:







〃Behold your work!  If you had not taught me to steal; I should not 



have come to this。〃







〃Indeed!〃 said the Mother。  〃And who; pray; taught you to be 



detected?〃















The Archer and the Eagle















AN Eagle mortally wounded by an Archer was greatly comforted to 



observe that the arrow was feathered with one of his own quills。







〃I should have felt bad; indeed;〃 he said; 〃to think that any other 



eagle had a hand in this。〃















Truth and the Traveller















A MAN travelling in a desert met a Woman。







〃Who art thou?〃 asked the Man; 〃and why dost thou dwell in this 



dreadful place?〃







〃My name;〃 replied the Woman; 〃is Truth; and I live in the desert 



in order to be near my worshippers when they are driven from among 



their fellows。  They all come; sooner or later。〃







〃Well;〃 said the Man; looking about; 〃the country doesn't seem to 



be very thickly settled here。〃















The Wolf and the Lamb















A LAMB; pursued by a Wolf; fled into the temple。







〃The priest will catch you and sacrifice you;〃 said the Wolf; 〃if 



you remain there。〃







〃It is just as well to be sacrificed by the priest as to be eaten 



by you;〃 said the Lamb。







〃My friend;〃 said the Wolf; 〃it pains me to see you considering so 



great a question from a purely selfish point of view。  It is not 



just as well for me。〃















The Lion and the Boar















A LION and a Boar; who were fighting for water at a pool; saw some 



vultures hovering significantly above them。  〃Let us make up our 



quarrel;〃 said the Boar; 〃or these fellows will get one of us; 



sure。〃







〃I should not so much mind that;〃 replied the Lion; 〃if they would 



get the right one。  However; I am willing to stop fighting; and 



then perhaps I can grab a vulture。  I like chicken better than 



pork; anyhow。〃















The Grasshopp

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