the sorrows of young werther(少年维特的烦恼)-第9节

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not　to　pant　for　its　enjoyment。　　And　now；　behold　me　like　a　silly
fellow；　staring　with　astonishment　when　another　comes　in；　and
deprives　me　of　my　love。

I　bite　my　lips；　and　feel　infinite　scorn　for　those　who　tell　me　to
be　resigned；　because　there　is　no　help　for　it。　　Let　me　escape　from
the　yoke　of　such　silly　subterfuges！　　I　ramble　through　the　woods；
and　when　I　return　to　Charlotte；　and　find　Albert　sitting　by　her
side　in　the　summer…house　in　the　garden；　I　am　unable　to　bear　it；
behave　like　a　fool；　and　commit　a　thousand　extravagances。　　〃For
Heaven's　sake；〃　said　Charlotte　today；　〃let　us　have　no　more　scenes
like　those　of　last　night！　　You　terrify　me　when　you　are　so　violent。〃
Between　ourselves；　I　am　always　away　now　when　he　visits　her：　and　I
feel　delighted　when　I　find　her　alone。

AUGUST　8。

Believe　me；　dear　Wilhelm；　I　did　not　allude　to　you　when　I　spoke　so
severely　of　those　who　advise　resignation　to　inevitable　fate。　　I
did　not　think　it　possible　for　you　to　indulge　such　a　sentiment。
But　in　fact　you　are　right。　　I　only　suggest　one　objection。　　In　this
world　one　is　seldom　reduced　to　make　a　selection　between　two
alternatives。　　There　are　as　many　varieties　of　conduct　and　opinion
as　there　are　turns　of　feature　between　an　aquiline　nose　and　a　flat
one。

You　will；　therefore；　permit　me　to　concede　your　entire　argument；
and　yet　contrive　means　to　escape　your　dilemma。

Your　position　is　this；　I　hear　you　say：　〃Either　you　have　hopes　of
obtaining　Charlotte；　or　you　have　none。　Well；　in　the　first　case；
pursue　your　course；　and　press　on　to　the　fulfilment　of　your　wishes。
In　the　second；　be　a　man；　and　shake　off　a　miserable　passion；　which
will　enervate　and　destroy　you。〃　　My　dear　friend；　this　is　well　and
easily　said。

But　would　you　require　a　wretched　being；　whose　life　is　slowly　wasting
under　a　lingering　disease；　to　despatch　himself　at　once　by　the
stroke　of　a　dagger？　　Does　not　the　very　disorder　which　consumes　his
strength　deprive　him　of　the　courage　to　effect　his　deliverance？

You　may　answer　me；　if　you　please；　with　a　similar　analogy；　〃Who
would　not　prefer　the　amputation　of　an　arm　to　the　periling　of　life
by　doubt　and　procrastination！〃　　But　I　know　not　if　I　am　right；　and
let　us　leave　these　comparisons。

Enough！　　There　are　moments；　Wilhelm；　when　I　could　rise　up　and　shake
it　all　off；　and　when；　if　I　only　knew　where　to　go；　I　could　fly　from
this　place。

THE　SAME　EVENING。

My　diary；　which　I　have　for　some　time　neglected；　came　before　me
today；　and　I　am　amazed　to　see　how　deliberately　I　have　entangled
myself　step　by　step。　　To　have　seen　my　position　so　clearly；　and
yet　to　have　acted　so　like　a　child！　　Even　still　I　behold　the
result　plainly；　and　yet　have　no　thought　of　acting　with　greater
prudence。

AUGUST　lO。

If　I　were　not　a　fool；　I　could　spend　the　happiest　and　most　delightful
life　here。　　So　many　agreeable　circumstances；　and　of　a　kind　to
ensure　a　worthy　man's　happiness；　are　seldom　united。　　Alas！　　I　feel
it　too　sensibly；　　the　heart　alone　makes　our　happiness！　　To　be
admitted　into　this　most　charming　family；　to　be　loved　by　the　father
as　a　son；　by　the　children　as　a　father；　and　by　Charlotte！　　then　the
noble　Albert；　who　never　disturbs　my　happiness　by　any　appearance
of　ill…humour；　receiving　me　with　the　heartiest　affection；　and
loving　me；　next　to　Charlotte；　better　than　all　the　world！　　Wilhelm；
you　would　be　delighted　to　hear　us　in　our　rambles；　and　conversations
about　Charlotte。　　Nothing　in　the　world　can　be　more　absurd　than　our
connection；　and　yet　the　thought　of　it　often　moves　me　to　tears。

He　tells　me　sometimes　of　her　excellent　mother；　how；　upon　her
death…bed；　she　had　committed　her　house　and　children　to　Charlotte；
and　had　given　Charlotte　herself　in　charge　to　him；　how；　since　that
time；　a　new　spirit　had　taken　possession　of　her；　how；　in　care　and
anxiety　for　their　welfare；　she　became　a　real　mother　to　them；　how
every　moment　of　her　time　was　devoted　to　some　labour　of　love　in
their　behalf；　　and　yet　her　mirth　and　cheerfulness　had　never
forsaken　her。　　I　walk　by　his　side；　pluck　flowers　by　the　way；　arrange
them　carefully　into　a　nosegay；　then　fling　them　into　the　first
stream　I　pass；　and　watch　them　as　they　float　gently　away。　　I　forget
whether　I　told　you　that　Albert　is　to　remain　here。　　He　has　received
a　government　appointment；　with　a　very　good　salary；　and　I　understand
he　is　in　high　favour　at　court。　　I　have　met　few　persons　so　punctual
and　methodical　in　business。　
　
AUGUST　12。

Certainly　Albert　is　the　best　fellow　in　the　world。　　I　had　a　strange
scene　with　him　yesterday。　　I　went　to　take　leave　of　him；　for　I　took
it　into　my　head　to　spend　a　few　days　in　these　mountains；　from　where
I　now　write　to　you。　　As　I　was　walking　up　and　down　his　room；　my　eye
fell　upon　his　pistols。　〃Lend　me　those　pistols；〃　said　I；　〃for　my
journey。〃　　〃By　all　means；〃　he　replied；　〃if　you　will　take　the
trouble　to　load　them；　for　they　only　hang　there　for　form。〃　　I
took　down　one　of　them；　and　he　continued；　〃Ever　since　I　was　near
suffering　for　my　extreme　caution；　I　will　have　nothing　to　do　with
such　things。〃　　I　was　curious　to　hear　the　story。　　〃I　was　staying；〃
said　he；　〃some　three　months　ago；　at　a　friend's　house　in　the　country。
I　had　a　brace　of　pistols　with　me；　unloaded；　and　I　slept　without
any　anxiety。　　One　rainy　afternoon　I　was　sitting　by　myself；　doing
nothing；　when　it　occurred　to　me　I　do　not　know　how　that　the　house
might　be　attacked；　that　we　might　require　the　pistols；　that　we　might
in　short；　you　know　how　we　go　on　fancying；　when　we　have　nothing
better　to　do。　　I　gave　the　pistols　to　the　servant；　to　clean　and
load。　　He　was　playing　with　the　maid；　and　trying　to　frighten　her；
when　the　pistol　went　off　　God　knows　how！　　the　ramrod　was　in
the　barrel；　and　it　went　straight　through　her　right　hand；　and
shattered　the　thumb。　　I　had　to　endure　all　the　lamentation；　and　to
pay　the　surgeon's　bill；　so；　since　that　time；　I　have　kept　all　my
weapons　unloaded。　　But；　my　dear　friend；　what　is　the　use　of　prudence？
We　can　never　be　on　our　guard　against　all　possible　dangers。　　However；〃
　now；　you　must　know　I　can　tolerate　all　men　till　they　come　to
〃however；〃　　for　it　is　self…evident　that　every　universal　rule
must　have　its　exceptions。　　But　he　is　so　exceedingly　accurate；　that；
if　he　only　fancies　he　has　said　a　word　too　precipitate；　or　too
general；　or　only　half　true；　he　never　ceases　to　qualify；　to　modify；
and　extenuate；　till　at　last　he　appears　to　have　said　nothing　at
all。　　Upon　this　occasion；　Albert　was　deeply　immersed　in　his
subject：　I　ceased　to　listen　to　him；　and　became　lost　in　reverie。
With　a　sudden　motion；　I　pointed　the　mouth　of　the　pistol　to　my
forehead；　over　the　right　eye。　　〃What　do　vou　mean？〃　cried　Albert；
turning　back　the　pistol。　　〃It　is　not　loaded；〃　said　I。　　〃And　even
if　not；〃　he　answered　with　impatience；　　〃what　can　you　mean？　I
cannot　cornprehend　how　a　man　can　be　so　mad　as　to　shoot　himself；
and　the　bare　idea　of　it　shocks　me。〃　

〃But　why　should　any　one；〃　said　I；　〃in　speaking　of　an　action；　venture
to　pronounce　it　mad　or　wise；　or　good　or　bad？　　What　is　the　meaning
of　all　this？　　Have　you　carefully　studied　the　secret　motives　of　our
actions？　　Do　you　understand　　can　you　explain　the　causes　which
occasion　them；　and　make　them　inevitable？　　If　you　can；　you　will　be
less　hasty　with　your　decision。〃

〃But　you　will　allow；〃　said　Albert；　〃that　some　actions　are　criminal；
let　them　spring　from　whatever　motives　they　may。〃　　I　granted　it；
and　shrugged　my　shoulders。

〃But　still；　my　good　friend；〃　I　continued；　〃there　are　some　exceptions
here　too。　　Theft　is　a　crime；　but　the　man　who　commits　it　from　extreme
poverty；　with　no　design　but　to　save　his　family　from　perishing；　is
he　an　object　of　pity；　or　of　punishment？　　Who　shall　throw　the　first
stone　at　a　husband；　who；　in　the　heat　of　just　resentment；　sacrifices
his　faithless　wife　and　her　perfidious　seducer？　or　at　the　young
maiden；　who；　in　her　weak　hour　of　rapture；　forgets　herself　in　the
impetuous　joys　of　love？　　Even　our　laws；　cold　and　cruel　as　they
are；　relent　in　such　cases；　and　withhold　their　punishment。〃

〃That　is　quite　another　thing；〃　said　Albert；　〃because　a　man　under
the　influence　of　violent　passion　loses　alI　power　of　reflection；
and　is　regarded　as　intoxicated　or　insane。〃

〃Oh！　you　people　of　sound　understandings；〃　I　replied；　smiling；　〃are
ever　ready　to　exclaim　'Extravagance；　and　madness；　and　intoxication！'
You　moral　men　are　so　calm　and　so　subdued！　　You　abhor　the　drunken
man；　and　detest　the　extravagant；　you　pass　by；　like　the　Levite；
and　thank　God；　like　the　Pharisee；　that　you　are　not　like　one　of
them。　　I　have　been　more　than　once　intoxicated；　my　passions　have
always　bordered　on　extravagance：　I　am　not　ashamed　to　confess　it；
for　I　have　learned；　by　my　own　experience；　that　all　extraordinary
men；　who　have　accomplished　great　and　astonishing　actions；　have
ever　been　decried　by　the　world　as　drunken　or　insane。　　And　in
private　life；　too；　is　it　not　intolerable　that　no　one　can　undertake
the　execution　of　a　noble　or　generous　deed；　without　giving　rise　to
the　exclamation　that　the　doer　is　intoxicated　or　mad？　　Shame　upon
you；　ye　sages！〃

〃This　is　another　of　your　extravagant　humours；〃　said　Albert：　〃you
always　exaggerate　a　case；　and　in　this　matter　you　are　undoubtedly
wrong；　for　we　were　speaking　of　suicide；　which　you　compare　with
great　actions；　w