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第25节

the sorrows of young werther(少年维特的烦恼)-第25节


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the door。  Werther held out his arms; but did not dare to detain
her。  He continued on the ground; with his head resting on the
sofa; for half an hour; till he heard a noise which brought him
to his senses。  The servant entered。  He then walked up and down
the room; and; when he was again left alone; he went to Charlotte's
door; and; in a low voice; said; 〃Charlotte; Charlotte! but one
word more; one last adieu!〃  She returned no answer。  He stopped;
and listened and entreated; but all was silent。  At length he tore
himself from the place; crying; 〃Adieu; Charlotte; adieu for ever!〃

Werther ran to the gate of the town。  The guards; who knew him;
let him pass in silence。  The night was dark and stormy;  it
rained and snowed。  He reached his own door about eleven。  His
servant; although seeing him enter the house without his hat; did
not venture to say anything; and; as he undressed his master; he
found that his clothes were wet。  His hat was afterward found on
the point of a rock overhanging the valley; and it is inconceivable
how he could have climbed to the summit on such a dark; tempestuous
night without losing his life。

He retired to bed; and slept to a late hour。  The next morning his
servant; upon being called to bring his coffee; found him writing。
He was adding; to Charlotte; what we here annex。

〃For the last; last time I open these eyes。  Alas! they will behold
the sun no more。  It is covered by a thick; impenetrable cloud。
Yes; Nature! put on mourning: your child; your friend; your lover;
draws near his end!  This thought; Charlotte; is without parallel;
and yet it seems like a mysterious dream when I repeat  this is
my last day!  The last!  Charlotte; no word can adequately express
this thought。  The last!  To…day I stand erect in all my strength
to…morrow; cold and stark; I shall lie extended upon the ground。
To die! what is death?  We do but dream in our discourse upon it。
I have seen many human beings die; but; so straitened is our feeble
nature; we have no clear conception of the beginning or the end
of our existence。  At this moment I am my own  or rather I am
thine; thine; my adored! and the next we are parted; severed 
perhaps for ever!  No; Charlotte; no!  How can I; how can you;
be annihilated?  We exist。  What is annihilation?  A mere word;
an unmeaning sound that fixes no impression on the mind。  Dead;
Charlotte! laid in the cold earth; in the dark and narrow grave!
I had a friend once who was everything to me in early youth。
She died。  I followed her hearse; I stood by her grave when the
coffin was lowered; and when I heard the creaking of the cords
as they were loosened and drawn up; when the first shovelful
of earth was thrown in; and the coffin returned a hollow sound;
which grew fainter and fainter till all was completely covered
over; I threw myself on the ground; my heart was smitten; grieved;
shattered; rent  but I neither knew what had happened; nor what
was to happen to me。  Death! the grave!  I understand not the words。
 Forgive; oh; forgive me!  Yesterday  ah; that day should have
been the last of my life!  Thou angel! for the first time in my
existence; I felt rapture glow within my inmost soul。  She loves;
she loves me!  Still burns upon my lips the sacred fire they
received from thine。  New torrents of delight overwhelm my soul。
Forgive me; oh; forgive!

〃I knew that I was dear to you; I saw it in your first entrancing
look; knew it by the first pressure of your hand; but when I was
absent from you; when I saw Albert at your side; my doubts and
fears returned。

〃Do you remember the flowers you sent me; when; at that crowded
assembly; you could neither speak nor extend your hand to me?
Half the night I was on my knees before those flowers; and I
regarded them as the pledges of your love; but those impressions
grew fainter; and were at length effaced。

〃Everything passes away; but a whole eternity could not extinguish
the living flame which was yesterday kindled by your lips; and
which now burns within me。  She loves me!  These arms have encircled
her waist; these lips have trembled upon hers。  She is mine!  Yes;
Charlotte; you are mine for ever!

〃And what do they mean by saying Albert is your husband?  He may
be so for this world; and in this world it is a sin to love you;
to wish to tear you from his embrace。  Yes; it is a crime; and I
suffer the punishment; but I have enjoyed the full delight of
my sin。  I have inhaled a balm that has revived my soul。  From
this hour you are mine; yes; Charlotte; you are mine!  I go
before you。  I go to my Father and to your Father。  I will pour
out my sorrows before him; and he will give me comfort till you
arrive。  Then will I fly to meet you。  I will claim you; and
remain your eternal embrace; in the presence of the Almighty。

〃I do not dream; I do not rave。  Drawing nearer to the grave my
perceptions become clearer。  We shall exist; we shall see each
other again; we shall behold your mother; I shall behold her; and
expose to her my inmost heart。  Your mother  your image!〃

About eleven o'clock Werther asked his servant if Albert had
returned。  He answered; 〃Yes;〃 for he had seen him pass on horseback:
upon which Werther sent him the following note; unsealed:

〃Be so good as to lend me your pistols for a journey。  Adieu。〃

Charlotte had slept little during the past night。  All her
apprehensions were realised in a way that she could neither
foresee nor avoid。  Her blood was boiling in her veins; and a
thousand painful sensations rent her pure heart。  Was it the
ardour of Werther's passionate embraces that she felt within her
bosom?  Was it anger at his daring?  Was it the sad comparison
of her present condition with former days of innocence; tranquillity;
and self…confidence?  How could she approach her husband; and
confess a scene which she had no reason to conceal; and which she
yet felt; nevertheless; unwilling to avow?  They had preserved so
long a silence toward each other and should she be the first to
break it by so unexpected a discovery?  She feared that the mere
statement of Werther's visit would trouble him; and his distress
would be heightened by her perfect candour。  She wished that he
could see her in her true light; and judge her without prejudice;
but was she anxious that he should read her inmost soul?  On the
other hand; could she deceive a being to whom all her thoughts
had ever been exposed as clearly as crystal; and from whom no
sentiment had ever been concealed?  These reflections made her
anxious and thoughtful。  Her mind still dwelt on Werther; who was
now lost to her; but whom she could not bring herself to resign;
and for whom she knew nothing was left but despair if she should
be lost to him for ever。

A recollection of that mysterious estrangement which had lately
subsisted between herself and Albert; and which she could never
thoroughly understand; was now beyond measure painful to her。
Even the prudent and the good have before now hesitated to explain
their mutual differences; and have dwelt in silence upon their
imaginary grievances; until circumstances have become so entangled;
that in that critical juncture; when a calm explanation would
have saved all parties; an understanding was impossible。  And
thus if domestic confidence had been earlier established between
them; if love and kind forbearance had mutually animated and
expanded their hearts; it might not; perhaps; even yet have been
too late to save our friend。

But we must not forget one remarkable circumstance。  We may
observe from the character of Werther's correspondence; that
he had never affected to conceal his anxious desire to quit
this world。  He had often discussed the subject with Albert;
and; between the latter and Charlotte; it had not unfrequently
formed a topic of conversation。  Albert was so opposed to the very
idea of such an action; that; with a degree of irritation unusual
in him; he had more than once given Werther to understand that he
doubted the seriousness of his threats; and not only turned them
into ridicule; but caused Charlotte to share his feelings of
incredulity。  Her heart was thus tranquillised when she felt
disposed to view the melancholy subject in a serious point of
view; though she never communicated to her husband the
apprehensions she sometimes experienced。

Albert; upon his return; was received by Charlotte with
ill…concealed embarrassment。  He was himself out of humour; his
business was unfinished; and he had just discovered that the
neighbouring official with whom he had to deal; was an obstinate
and narrow…minded personage。  Many things had occurred to irritate
him。

He inquired whether anything had happened during his absence; and
Charlotte hastily answered that Werther had been there on the
evening previously。  He then inquired for his letters; and was
answered that several packages had been left in his study。  He
thereon retired; leaving Charlotte alone。

The presence of the being she loved and honoured produced a new
impression on her heart。  The recollection of his generosity;
kindness; and affection had calmed her agitation: a secret impulse
prompted her to follow him; 

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