the sorrows of young werther(少年维特的烦恼)-第14节

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time　full。　　I　enjoy　no　single　moment　of　happiness：　all　is　vain　
nothing　touches　me。　　I　stand；　as　it　were；　before　the　raree…show：
I　see　the　little　puppets　move；　and　I　ask　whether　it　is　not　an
optical　illusion。　　I　am　amused　with　these　puppets；　or；　rather；　I
am　myself　one　of　them：　but；　when　I　sometimes　grasp　my　neighbour's
hand；　I　feel　that　it　is　not　natural；　and　I　withdraw　mine　with　a
shudder。　　In　the　evening　I　say　I　will　enjoy　the　next　morning's
sunrise；　and　yet　I　remain　in　bed：　in　the　day　I　promise　to　ramble
by　moonlight；　and　I；　nevertheless；　remain　at　home。　　I　know　not　why
I　rise；　nor　why　I　go　to　sleep。

The　leaven　which　animated　my　existence　is　gone：　the　charm　which
cheered　me　in　the　gloom　of　night；　and　aroused　me　from　my　morning
slumbers；　is　for　ever　fled。

I　have　found　but　one　being　here　to　interest　me；　a　Miss　B。　　She
resembles　you；　my　dear　Charlotte；　if　any　one　can　possibly　resemble
you。　　〃Ah！〃　you　will　say；　〃he　has　learned　how　to　pay　fine　compliments。〃
And　this　is　partly　true。　　I　have　been　very　agreeable　lately；　as
it　was　not　in　my　power　to　be　otherwise。　　I　have；　moreover；　a　deal
of　wit：　and　the　ladies　say　that　no　one　understands　flattery　better；
or　falsehoods　you　will　add；　since　the　one　accomplishment　invariably
accompanies　the　other。　　But　I　must　tell　you　of　Miss　B。　　She　has
abundance　of　soul；　which　flashes　from　her　deep　blue　eyes。　　Her
rank　is　a　torment　to　her；　and　satisfies　no　one　desire　of　her　heart。
She　would　gladly　retire　from　this　whirl　of　fashion；　and　we　often
picture　to　ourselves　a　life　of　undisturbed　happiness　in　distant
scenes　of　rural　retirement：　and　then　we　speak　of　you；　my　dear
Charlotte；　for　she　knows　you；　and　renders　homage　to　your　merits；
but　her　homage　is　not　exacted；　but　voluntary；　she　loves　you；　and
delights　to　hear　you　made　the　subject　of　conversation。

Oh；　that　I　were　sitting　at　your　feet　in　your　favourite　little　room；
with　the　dear　children　playing　around　us！　　If　they　became　troublesome
to　you；　I　would　tell　them　some　appalling　goblin　story；　and　they
would　crowd　round　me　with　silent　attention。　　The　sun　is　setting
in　glory；　his　last　rays　are　shining　on　the　snow；　which　covers　the
face　of　the　country：　the　storm　is　over；　and　I　must　return　to　my
dungeon。　　Adieu！　Is　Albert　with　you？　and　what　is　he　to　you？　　God
forgive　the　question。

FEBRUARY　8。

For　a　week　past　we　have　had　the　most　wretched　weather：　but　this
to　me　is　a　blessing；　for；　during　my　residence　here；　not　a　single
fine　day　has　beamed　from　the　heavens；　but　has　been　lost　to　me　by
the　intrusion　of　somebody。　　During　the　severity　of　rain；　sleet；
frost；　and　storm；　I　congratulate　myself　that　it　cannot　be　worse
indoors　than　abroad；　nor　worse　abroad　than　it　is　within　doors；　and
so　I　become　reconciled。　　When　the　sun　rises　bright　in　the　morning；
and　promises　a　glorious　day；　I　never　omit　to　exclaim；　〃There；　now；
they　have　another　blessing　from　Heaven；　which　they　will　be　sure
to　destroy：　they　spoil　everything；　　health；　fame；　happiness；
amusement；　and　they　do　this　generally　through　folly；　ignorance；
or　imbecility；　and　always；　according　to　their　own　account；　with
the　best　intentions！〃　　I　could　often　beseech　them；　on　my　bended
knees；　to　be　less　resolved　upon　their　own　destruction。

FEBRUARY　17。

I　fear　that　my　ambassador　and　I　shall　not　continue　much　longer
together。　　He　is　really　growing　past　endurance。　　He　transacts
his　business　in　so　ridiculous　a　manner；　that　I　am　often　compelled
to　contradict　him；　and　do　things　my　own　way；　and　then；　of　course；
he　thinks　them　very　ill　done。　　He　complained　of　me　lately　on　this
account　at　court；　and　the　minister　gave　me　a　reprimand；　　a
gentle　one　it　is　true；　but　still　a　reprimand。　　In　consequence　of
this；　I　was　about　to　tender　my　resignation；　when　I　received　a
letter；　to　which　I　submitted　with　great　respect；　on　account　of　the
high；　noble；　and　generous　spirit　which　dictated　it。　　He　endeavoured
to　soothe　my　excessive　sensibility；　paid　a　tribute　to　my　extreme
ideas　of　duty；　of　good　example；　and　of　perseverance　in　business；
as　the　fruit　of　my　youthful　ardour；　an　impulse　which　he　did　not
seek　to　destroy；　but　only　to　moderate；　that　it　might　have　proper
play　and　be　productive　of　good。　　So　now　I　am　at　rest　for　another
week；　and　no　longer　at　variance　with　myself。　　Content　and　peace
of　mind　are　valuable　things：　I　could　wish；　my　dear　friend；　that
these　precious　jewels　were　less　transitory。　　

FERRUARY　20。

God　bless　you；　my　dear　friends；　and　may　he　grant　you　that　happiness
which　he　denies　to　me！

I　thank　you；　Albert；　for　having　deceived　me。　　I　waited　for　the
news　that　your　wedding…day　was　fixed；　and　I　intended　on　that　day；
with　solemnity；　to　take　down　Charlotte's　profile　from　the　wall；
and　to　bury　it　with　some　other　papers　I　possess。　　You　are　now
united；　and　her　picture　still　remains　here。　　Well；　let　it　remain！
Why　should　it　not？　　I　know　that　I　am　still　one　of　your　society；
that　I　still　occupy　a　place　uninjured　in　Charlotte's　heart；　that
I　hold　the　second　place　therein；　and　I　intend　to　keep　it。　　Oh；　I
should　become　mad　if　she　could　forget！　　Albert；　that　thought　is
hell！　　Farewell；　Albert　farewell；　angel　of　heaven　farewell；　Charlotte！

MARCH　15。

I　have　just　had　a　sad　adventure；　which　will　drive　me　away　from
here。　　I　lose　all　patience！　　Death！　　It　is　not　to　be　remedied；
and　you　alone　are　to　blame；　for　you　urged　and　impelled　me　to　fill
a　post　for　which　I　was　by　no　means　suited。　　I　have　now　reason　to
be　satisfied；　and　so　have　you！　　But；　that　you　may　not　again　attribute
this　fatality　to　my　impetuous　temper；　I　send　you；　my　dear　sir；　a
plain　and　simple　narration　of　the　affair；　as　a　mere　chronicler　of
facts　would　describe　it。

The　Count　of　O　likes　and　distinguishes　me。　　It　is　well　known；
and　I　have　mentioned　this　to　you　a　hundred　times。　　Yesterday　I
dined　with　him。　　It　is　the　day　on　which　the　nobility　are　accustomed
to　assemble　at　his　house　in　the　evening。　　I　never　once　thought　of
the　assembly；　nor　that　we　subalterns　did　not　belong　to　such　society。
Well；　I　dined　with　the　count；　and；　after　dinner；　we　adjourned　to
the　large　hall。　　We　walked　up　and　down　together：　and　I　conversed
with　him；　and　with　Colonel　B；　who　joined　us；　and　in　this　manner
the　hour　for　the　assembly　approached。　　God　knows；　I　was　thinking
of　nothing；　when　who　should　enter　but　the　honourable　Lady　accompanied
by　her　noble　husband　and　their　silly；　scheming　daughter；　with　her
small　waist　and　flat　neck；　and；　with　disdainful　looks　and　a　haughty
air　they　passed　me　by。　　As　I　heartily　detest　the　whole　race；　I
determined　upon　going　away；　and　only　waited　till　the　count　had
disengaged　himself　from　their　impertinent　prattle；　to　take　leave；
when　the　agreeable　Miss　B　came　in。　　As　I　never　meet　her　without
experiencing　a　heartfelt　pleasure；　I　stayed　and　talked　to　her；
leaning　over　the　back　of　her　chair；　and　did　not　perceive；　till
after　some　time；　that　she　seemed　a　little　confused；　and　ceased　to
answer　me　with　her　usual　ease　of　manner。　　I　was　struck　with　it。
〃Heavens！〃　I　said　to　myself；　〃can　she；　too；　be　like　the　rest？〃　　I
felt　annoyed；　and　was　about　to　withdraw；　but　I　remained；
notwithstanding；　forming　excuses　for　her　conduct；　fancying　she　did
not　mean　it；　and　still　hoping　to　receive　some　friendly　recognition。
The　rest　of　the　company　now　arrived。　There　was　the　Baron　F　；　in
an　entire　suit　that　dated　from　the　coronation　of　Francis　I。；　the
Chancellor　N；　with　his　deaf　wife；　the　shabbily…dressed　I；　whose
old…fashioned　coat　bore　evidence　of　modern　repairs：　this　crowned
the　whole。　　I　conversed　with　some　of　my　acquaintances；　but　they
answered　me　laconically。　　I　was　engaged　in　observing　Miss　B；　and
did　not　notice　that　the　women　were　whispering　at　the　end　of　the
room；　that　the　murmur　extended　by　degrees　to　the　men；　that　Madame
S　addressed　the　count　with　much　warmth　（this　was　all　related　to
me　subsequently　by　Miss　B）；　till　at　length　the　count　came　up　to
me；　and　took　me　to　the　window。　　〃You　know　our　ridiculous　customs；〃
he　said。　　〃I　perceive　the　company　is　rather　displeased　at　your
being　here。　　I　would　not　on　any　account〃　　〃I　beg　your　excellency's
pardon！〃　I　exclaimed。　　〃I　ought　to　have　thought　of　this　before；
but　I　know　you　will　forgive　this　little　inattention。　　I　was　going；〃
I　added；　〃some　time　ago；　but　my　evil　genius　detained　me。〃　　And　I
smiled　and　bowed；　to　take　my　leave。　　He　shook　me　by　the　hand；　in
a　manner　which　expressed　everything。　　I　hastened　at　once　from　the
illustrious　assembly；　sprang　into　a　carriage；　and　drove　to　M。
I　contemplated　the　setting　sun　from　the　top　of　the　hill；　and　read
that　beautiful　passage　in　Homer；　where　Ulysses　is　entertained　by
the　hospitable　herdsmen。　　This　was　indeed　delightful。
　　
I　returned　home　to　supper　in　the　evening。　　But　few　persons　were
assembled　in　the　room。　　They　had　turned　up　a　corner　of　the　table…cloth；
and　were　playing　at　dice。　　The　good…natured　A　came　in。　　He　laid
down　his　hat　when　he　saw　me；　approached　me；　and　said　in　a　low　tone；
〃You　have　met　with　a　disagreeable　adventure。〃　　〃I！〃　I　exclaimed。
〃The　count　obliged　you　to　withdraw　from　the　assembly！〃　　〃Deuce
take　the　assembly！〃　said　I。　　〃I　was　very　glad　to　be　gone。〃　　〃I　am
delighted；〃　he　added；　〃that　you　take　it　so　lightly。　　I　am　only
sorry　that　it　is　already　so　much　spo