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other; it more resembles the phosphorescent glow of decaying wood。

  It would be sad injustice; the reader must understand; to

represent all my excellent old friends as in their dotage。 In the

first place; my coadjutors were not invariably old; there were men

among them in their strength and prime; of marked ability and

energy; and altogether superior to the sluggish and dependent mode

of life on which their evil stars had cast them。 Then; moreover; the

white locks of age were sometimes found to be the thatch of an

intellectual tenement in good repair。 But; as respects the majority of

my corps of veterans; there will be no wrong done; if I characterise

them generally as a set of wearisome old souls; who had gathered

nothing worth preservation from their varied experience of life。

They seemed to have flung away all the golden grain of practical

wisdom; which they had enjoyed so many opportunities of harvesting;

and most carefully to have stored their memories with the husks。

They spoke with far more interest and unction of their morning's

breakfast; or yesterday's; to…day's; or to…morrow's dinner; than of

the shipwreck of forty or fifty years ago; and all the world's wonders

which they had witnessed with their youthful eyes。

  The father of the Custom…House… the patriarch; not only of this

little squad of officials; but; I am bold to say; of the respectable

body of tide…waiters all over the United States… was a certain

permanent Inspector。 He might truly be termed a legitimate son of

the revenue system; dyed in the wool; or; rather; born in the

purple; since his sire; a Revolutionary colonel; and formerly

collector of the port; had created an office for him; and appointed

him to fill it; at a period of the early ages which few living men can

now remember。 This Inspector; when I first knew him; was a man of

fourscore years; or thereabouts; and certainly one of the most

wonderful specimens of winter…green that you would be likely to

discover in a lifetime's search。 With his florid cheek; his compact

figure; smartly arrayed in a bright…buttoned blue coat; his brisk

and vigorous step; and his hale and hearty aspect; altogether he

seemed… not young; indeed… but a kind of new contrivance of Mother

Nature in the shape of man; whom age and infirmity had no business

to touch。 His voice and laugh; which perpetually reechoed through

the Custom…House; had nothing of the tremulous quaver and cackle of an

old man's utterance; they came strutting out of his lungs; like the

crow of a cock; of the blast of a clarion。 Looking at him merely as an

animal… and there was very little else to look at… he was a most

satisfactory object; from the thorough healthfulness and wholesomeness

of his system; and his capacity; at that extreme age; to enjoy all; or

nearly all; the delights which he had ever aimed at; or conceived

of。 The careless security of his life in the Custom…House; on a

regular income; and with but slight and infrequent apprehensions of

removal; had no doubt contributed to make time pass lightly over

him。 The original and more potent causes; however; lay in the rare

perfection of his animal nature; the moderate proportion of intellect;

and the very trifling admixture of moral and spiritual ingredients;

these latter qualities; indeed; being in barely enough measure to keep

the old gentleman from walking on all…fours。 He possessed no power

of thought; no depth of feeling; no troublesome sensibilities;

nothing; in short; but a few commonplace instincts; which; aided by

the cheerful temper that grew inevitably out of his physical

well…being; did duty very respectably; and to general acceptance; in

lieu of a heart。 He had been the husband of three wives; all long

since dead; the father of twenty children; most of whom; at every

age of childhood or maturity; had likewise returned to dust。 Here; one

would suppose; might have been sorrow enough to imbue the sunniest

disposition; through and through; with a sable tinge。 Not so with

our old Inspector! One brief sigh sufficed to carry off the entire

burden of these dismal reminiscences。 The next moment; he was as ready

for sport as any unbreeched infant; far readier than the Collector's

junior clerk; who; at nineteen years; was much the elder and graver

man of the two。

  I used to watch and study this patriarchal personage with; I

think; livelier curiosity than any other form of humanity there

presented to my notice。 He was; in truth; a rare phenomenon; so

perfect in one point of view; so shallow; so delusive; so

impalpable; such an absolute nonentity; in every other。 My

conclusion was that he had no soul; no heart; no mind; nothing; as I

have already said; but instincts: and yet; withal; so cunningly had

the few materials of his character been put together; that there was

no painful perception of deficiency; but; on my part; an entire

contentment with what I found in him。 It might be difficult… and it

was so… to conceive how he should exist hereafter; so earthly and

sensuous did he seem; but surely his existence here; admitting that it

was to terminate with his last breath; had been not unkindly given;

with no higher moral responsibilities than the beasts of the field;

but with a larger scope of enjoyment than theirs; and with all their

blessed immunity from the dreariness and duskiness of age。

  One point; in which he had vastly the advantage over his four…footed

brethren; was his ability to recollect the good dinners which it had

made no small portion of the happiness of his life to eat。 His

gourmandism was a highly agreeable trait; and to hear him talk of

roast…meat was as appetising as a pickle or an oyster。 As he possessed

no higher attribute; and neither sacrificed nor vitiated any spiritual

endowment by devoting all his energies and ingenuities to subserve the

delight and profit of his maw; it always pleased and satisfied me to

hear him expatiate on fish; poultry; and butcher's meat; and the

most eligible methods of preparing them for the table。 His

reminiscences of good cheer; however ancient the date of the actual

banquet; seemed to bring the savour of pig or turkey under one's

very nostrils。 There were flavours on his palate; that had lingered

there not less than sixty or seventy years; and were still

apparently as fresh as that of the mutton…chop which he had just

devoured for his breakfast。 I have heard him smack his lips over

dinners; every guest at which; except himself; had long been food

for worms。 It was marvellous to observe how the ghosts of bygone meals

were continually rising up before him; not in anger or retribution;

but as if grateful for his former appreciation; and seeking to

repudiate an endless series of enjoyment; at once shadowy and sensual。

A tenderloin of beef; a hind…quarter of veal; a spare…rib of pork; a

particular chicken; or a remarkably praiseworthy turkey; which had

perhaps adorned his board in the days of the elder Adams; would be

remembered; while all the subsequent experience of our race; and all

the events that brightened or darkened his individual career; had gone

over him with as little permanent effect as the passing breeze。 The

chief tragic event of the old man's life; so far as I could judge; was

his mishap with a certain goose; which lived and died some twenty or

forty years ago; a goose of most promising figure; but which; at

table; proved so inveterately tough that the carving…knife would

make no impression on its carcass; and it could only be divided with

an axe and handsaw。

  But it is time to quit this sketch; on which; however; I should be

glad to dwell at considerably more length; because; of all men whom

I have ever known; this individual was fittest to be a Custom…House

officer。 Most persons; owing to causes which I may not have space to

hint at; suffer moral detriment from this peculiar mode of life。 The

old Inspector was incapable of it; and; were he to continue in

office to the end of time; would be just as good as he was then; and

sit down to dinner with just as good an appetite。

  There is one likeness; without which my gallery of Custom…House

portraits would be strangely incomplete; but which my comparatively

few opportunities for observation enable me to sketch only in the

merest outline。 It is that of the Collector; our gallant old

General; who; after his brilliant military service; subsequently to

which he had ruled over a wild Western territory; had come hither;

twenty years before; to spend the decline of his varied and honourable

life。 The brave soldier had already numbered; nearly or quite; his

threescore years and ten; and was pursuing the remainder of his

earthly march; burdened with infirmities which even the martial

music of his own spirit…stirring recollections could do little towards

lightening。 The step was palsied now; that had been foremost in the

charge。 It was only with the assistance of a servant; and by leaning

his hand heavily o

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