50 bab ballads(50篇巴布歌谣)-第7节
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you); A holy man appeared; and said; 〃Oh; ROBERT; I'm ashamed of
you。〃
He laid his hand on ROBERT'S beer Before he could drink up any;
And on the floor; with sigh and tear; He poured the pot of 〃thruppenny。〃
〃Oh; ROBERT; at this very bar A truth you'll be discovering; A good
and evil genius are Around your noddle hovering。
〃They both are here to bid you shun The other one's society; For Total
Abstinence is one; The other; Inebriety。〃
He waved his hand … a vapour came … A wizard POLTER reckoned him;
A bogy rose and called his name; And with his finger beckoned him。
The monster's salient points to sum; … His heavy breath was portery:
His glowing nose suggested rum: His eyes were gin…and…WORtery。
His dress was torn … for dregs of ale And slops of gin had rusted it; His
pimpled face was wan and pale; Where filth had not encrusted it。
〃Come; POLTER;〃 said the fiend; 〃begin; And keep the bowl a…
flowing on … A working man needs pints of gin To keep his clockwork
going on。〃
BOB shuddered: 〃Ah; you've made a miss If you take me for one of
you: You filthy beast; get out of this … BOB POLTER don't wan't none of
you。〃
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Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense
Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense
〃In me; as your adviser hints; Of Abstinence you've got a type … Of MR。
TWEEDIE'S pretty prints I am the happy prototype。
〃If you abjure the social toast; And pipes; and such frivolities; You
possibly some day may boast My prepossessing qualities!〃
BOB rubbed his eyes; and made 'em blink: 〃You almost make me
tremble; you! If I abjure fermented drink; Shall I; indeed; resemble you?
〃And will my whiskers curl so tight? My cheeks grow smug and
muttony? My face become so red and white? My coat so blue and
buttony?
〃Will trousers; such as yours; array Extremities inferior? Will
chubbiness assert its sway All over my exterior?
〃In this; my unenlightened state; To work in heavy boots I comes; Will
pumps henceforward decorate My tiddle toddle tootsicums?
〃And shall I get so plump and fresh; And look no longer seedily? My
skin will henceforth fit my flesh So tightly and so TWEEDIE…ly?〃
The phantom said; 〃You'll have all this; You'll know no kind of
huffiness; Your life will be one chubby bliss; One long unruffled
puffiness!〃
〃Be off!〃 said irritated BOB。 〃Why come you here to bother one? You
pharisaical old snob; You're wuss almost than t'other one!
〃I takes my pipe … I takes my pot; And drunk I'm never seen to be: I'm
no teetotaller or sot; And as I am I mean to be!〃
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Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense
Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense
E
AGIB。
STRIKE the concertina's melancholy string! Blow the spirit…stirring
harp like anything! Let the piano's martial blast Rouse the Echoes of the
Past; For of AGIB; PRINCE OF TARTARY; I sing!
Of AGIB; who; amid Tartaric scenes; Wrote a lot of ballet music in his
teens: His gentle spirit rolls In the melody of souls … Which is pretty; but I
don't know what it means。
Of AGIB; who could readily; at sight; Strum a march upon the loud
Theodolite。 He would diligently play On the Zoetrope all day; And blow
the gay Pantechnicon all night。
One winter … I am shaky in my dates … Came two starving Tartar
minstrels to his gates; Oh; ALLAH be obeyed; How infernally they played!
I remember that they called themselves the 〃O乤
its。〃
Oh! that day of sorrow; misery; and rage; I shall carry to the
Catacombs of Age; Photographically lined On the tablet of my mind;
When a yesterday has faded from its page!
Alas! PRINCE AGIB went and asked them in; Gave them beer; and
eggs; and sweets; and scent; and tin。 And when (as snobs would say) They
had 〃put it all away;〃 He requested them to tune up and begin。
Though its icy horror chill you to the core; I will tell you what I never
told before; … The consequences true Of that awful interview; FOR I
LISTENED AT THE KEYHOLE IN THE DOOR!
They played him a sonata … let me see! 〃MEDULLA OBLONGATA〃 key
of G。 Then they began to sing That extremely lovely thing;
SCHERZANDO! MA NON TROPPO; PPP。〃
He gave them money; more than they could count; Scent from a most
ingenious little fount; More beer; in little kegs; Many dozen hard…boiled
eggs; And goodies to a fabulous amount。
Now follows the dim horror of my tale; And I feel I'm growing
gradually pale; For; even at this day; Though its sting has passed away;
40
Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense
Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense
The elder of the brothers gave a squeal; All…overish it made me for to
feel; 〃Oh; PRINCE;〃 he says; says he; 〃IF A PRINCE INDEED YOU BE;
I've a mystery I'm going to reveal!
〃Oh; listen; if you'd shun a horrid death; To what the gent who's
speaking to you saith: No 'O乤
its' in truth are we; As you fancy that we be;
For (ter…remble!) I am ALECK … this is BETH!〃
Said AGIB; 〃Oh! accursed of your kind; I have heard that ye are men
of evil mind!〃 BETH gave a dreadful shriek … But before he'd time to
speak I was mercilessly collared from behind。
In number ten or twelve; or even more; They fastened me full length
upon the floor。 On my face extended flat; I was walloped with a cat For
listening at the keyhole of a door。
Oh! the horror of that agonizing thrill! (I can feel the place in frosty
weather still)。 For a week from ten to four I was fastened to the floor;
While a mercenary wopped me with a will
They branded me and broke me on a wheel; And they left me in an
hospital to heal; And; upon my solemn word; I have never never heard
What those Tartars had determined to reveal。
But that day of sorrow; misery; and rage; I shall carry to the Catacombs
of Age; Photographically lined On the tablet of my mind; When a
yesterday has faded from its page
41
Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense
Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense
S
ABERDEEN。
MACPHAIRSON CLONGLOCKETTY ANGUS McCLAN Was the
son of an elderly labouring man; You've guessed him a Scotchman; shrewd
reader; at sight; And p'r'aps altogether; shrewd reader; you're right。
From the bonnie blue Forth to the lovely Deeside; Round by Dingwall
and Wrath to the mouth of the Clyde; There wasn't a child or a woman or
man Who could pipe with CLONGLOCKETTY ANGUS McCLAN。
No other could wake such detestable groans; With reed and with
chaunter … with bag and with drones: All day and ill night he delighted the
chiels With sniggering pibrochs and jiggety reels。
He'd clamber a mountain and squat on the ground; And the
neighbouring maidens would gather around To list to the pipes and to gaze
in his een; Especially ELLEN McJONES ABERDEEN。
All loved their McCLAN; save a Sassenach brute; Who came to the
Highlands to fish and to shoot; He dressed himself up in a Highlander way;
Tho' his name it was PATTISON CORBY TORBAY。
TORBAY had incurred a good deal of expense To make him a
Scotchman in every sense; But this is a matter; you'll readily own; That
isn't a question of tailors alone。
A Sassenach chief may be bonily built; He may purchase a sporran; a
bonnet; and kilt; Stick a ske刵
in his hose … wear an acre of stripes … But
he cannot assume an affection for pipes。
CLONGLOCKETY'S pipings all night and all day Quite frenzied poor
PATTISON CORBY TORBAY; The girls were amused at his singular
spleen; Especially ELLEN McJONES ABERDEEN;
〃MACPHAIRSON CLONGLOCKETTY ANGUS; my lad; With
pibrochs and reels you are driving me mad。 If you really must play on that
cursed affair; My goodness! play something resembling an air。〃
Boiled over the blood of MACPHAIRSON McCLAN … The Clan of
Clonglocketty rose as one man; For all were enraged at the insult; I ween
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Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense
Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense
〃Let's show;〃 said McCLAN; 〃to this Sassenach loon That the
bagpipes CAN play him a regular tune。 Let's see;〃 said McCLAN; as he
thoughtfully sat; 〃'IN MY COTTAGE' is easy … I'll practise at that。〃
He blew at his 〃Cottage;〃 and blew with a will; For a year; seven
months; and a fortnight; until (You'll hardly believe it) McCLAN; I declare;
Elicited something resembling an air。
It was wild … it was fitful … as wild as the breeze … It wandered about
into several keys; It was jerky; spasmodic; and harsh; I'm aware; But still it
distinctly suggested an air。
The Sassenach screamed; and the Sassenach danced; He shrieked in
his agony … bellowed and pranced; And the maidens who gathered rejoiced
at the scene … Especially ELLEN McJONES ABERDEEN。
〃Hech gather; hech gather; hech gather around; And fill a' ye lugs wi'
the exquisite sound。 An air fra' the bagpipes … beat that if ye can! Hurrah
for CLONGLOCKETTY ANGUS McCLAN!〃
The fame of his piping spread over the land: Respectable widows
proposed for his hand; And maidens came flocking to sit on the green Especially
ELLEN McJONES ABERDEEN。
One morning the fidgety Sass