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第4节

50 bab ballads(50篇巴布歌谣)-第4节

小说: 50 bab ballads(50篇巴布歌谣) 字数: 每页4000字

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proud; But in an overwhelming heat (His name was PETER; I repeat) 
Performed the PAYNE and LAURI feat; And puffed his thanks aloud。 

Another game the dancer planned … 〃Just take your ankle in your hand; 
And try; my lord; if you can stand …Your body stiff and stark。 If; when 
revisiting your see; You learnt to hop on shore … like me …The novelty 
would striking be; And must attract remark。〃 

〃No;〃 said the worthy Bishop; 〃no; That is a length to which; I trow; 
Colonial Bishops cannot go。 You may express surprise At finding Bishops 
deal in pride … But if that trick I ever tried; I should appear undignified In 
Rum…ti…Foozle's eyes。 

〃The islanders of Rum…ti…Foo Are well…conducted persons; who 
Approve a joke as much as you; And laugh at it as such; But if they saw 
their Bishop land; His leg supported in his hand; The joke they wouldn't 
understand … 'T would pain them very much!〃 

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Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense 

Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense 

BABY。 A VERY TRUE TALE。 (TO 


BE SUNG TO THE AIR OF THE 


〃WHISTLING OYSTER。〃) 


AN elderly person … a prophet by trade … With his quips and tips On 
withered old lips; He married a young and a beautiful maid; The cunning 
old blade! Though rather decayed; He married a beautiful; beautiful maid。 

She was only eighteen; and as fair as could be; With her tempting 
smiles And maidenly wiles; And he was a trifle past seventy…three: Now 
what she could see Is a puzzle to me; In a prophet of seventy … seventy…
three! 

Of all their acquaintances bidden (or bad) With their loud high jinks 
And underbred winks; None thought they'd a family have … but they had; A 
dear little lad Who drove 'em half mad; For he turned out a horribly fast 
little cad。 

For when he was born he astonished all by; With their 〃Law; dear me!〃 
〃Did ever you see?〃 He'd a pipe in his mouth and a glass in his eye; A hat 
all awry … An octagon tie … And a miniature … miniature glass in his eye。 

He grumbled at wearing a frock and a cap; With his 〃Oh; dear; oh!〃 
And his 〃Hang it! 'oo know!〃 And he turned up his nose at his excellent 
pap … 〃My friends; it's a tap Dat is not worf a rap。〃 (Now this was 
remarkably excellent pap。) 

He'd chuck his nurse under the chin; and he'd say; With his 〃Fal; lal; 
lal〃 … 〃'Oo doosed fine gal!〃 This shocking precocity drove 'em away: 〃A 
month from to…day Is as long as I'll stay … Then I'd wish; if you please; for 
to toddle away。〃 

His father; a simple old gentleman; he With nursery rhyme And 〃Once 
on a time;〃 Would tell him the story of 〃Little Bo…P;〃 〃So pretty was she; 
So pretty and wee; As pretty; as pretty; as pretty could be。〃 

But the babe; with a dig that would startle an ox; With his 〃C'ck! Oh; 

21 



Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense 

Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense 

The name of his father he'd couple and pair (With his ill…bred laugh; 
And insolent chaff) With those of the nursery heroines rare … Virginia the 
Fair; Or Good Goldenhair; Till the nuisance was more than a prophet could 
bear。 

〃There's Jill and White Cat〃 (said the bold little brat; With his loud; 
〃Ha; ha!〃) 〃'Oo sly ickle Pa! Wiz 'oo Beauty; Bo…Peep; and 'oo Mrs。 Jack 
Sprat! I've noticed 'oo pat MY pretty White Cat … I sink dear mamma 
ought to know about dat!〃 

He early determined to marry and wive; For better or worse With his 
elderly nurse … Which the poor little boy didn't live to contrive: His hearth 
didn't thrive … No longer alive; He died an enfeebled old dotard at five! 

MORAL。 

Now; elderly men of the bachelor crew; With wrinkled hose And 
spectacled nose; Don't marry at all … you may take it as true If ever you do 
The step you will rue; For your babes will be elderly … elderly too。 

22 



Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense 

Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense 

〃GENTLE; modest little flower; Sweet epitome of May; Love me but 
for half an hour; Love me; love me; little fay。〃 Sentences so fiercely 
flaming In your tiny shell…like ear; I should always be exclaiming If I 
loved you; PHOEBE dear。 

〃Smiles that thrill from any distance Shed upon me while I sing! 
Please ecstaticize existence; Love me; oh; thou fairy thing!〃 Words like 
these; outpouring sadly You'd perpetually hear; If I loved you fondly; 
madly; … But I do not; PHOEBE dear。 

23 



Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense 

Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense 
; 
GENTLEMAN。 


OF all the good attorneys who Have placed their names upon the roll; 
But few could equal BAINES CAREW For tender…heartedness and soul。 

Whene'er he heard a tale of woe From client A or client B; His grief 
would overcome him so He'd scarce have strength to take his fee。 

It laid him up for many days; When duty led him to distrain; And 
serving writs; although it pays; Gave him excruciating pain。 

He made out costs; distrained for rent; Foreclosed and sued; with 
moistened eye … No bill of costs could represent The value of such 
sympathy。 

No charges can approximate The worth of sympathy with woe; Although 
I think I ought to state He did his best to make them so。 

Of all the many clients who Had mustered round his legal flag; No 
single client of the crew Was half so dear as CAPTAIN BAGG。 

Now; CAPTAIN BAGG had bowed him to A heavy matrimonial yoke 

… His wifey had of faults a few … She never could resist a joke。 
Her chaff at first he meekly bore; Till unendurable it grew。 〃To stop 
this persecution sore I will consult my friend CAREW。 
〃And when CAREW'S advice I've got; Divorce A MENSA I shall try。〃 
(A legal separation … not A VINCULO CONJUGII。) 
〃Oh; BAINES CAREW; my woe I've kept A secret hitherto; you 
know;〃 … (And BAINES CAREW; ESQUIRE; he wept To hear that BAGG 
HAD any woe。) 

〃My case; indeed; is passing sad。 My wife … whom I considered true With 
brutal conduct drives me mad。〃 〃I am appalled;〃 said BAINES 
CAREW。 

〃What! sound the matrimonial knell Of worthy people such as these! 
Why was I an attorney? Well … Go on to the SAEVITIA; please。〃 
〃Domestic bliss has proved my bane; … A harder case you never heard; 
My wife (in other matters sane) Pretends that I'm a Dicky bird! 

24 



Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense 

Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense 

〃Oh; dear;〃 said weeping BAINES CAREW; 〃This is the direst case I 
know。〃 〃I'm grieved;〃 said BAGG; 〃at paining you … 〃To COBB and 
POLTHERTHWAITE I'll go 


〃To COBB'S cold; calculating ear; My gruesome sorrows I'll impart〃 〃
No; stop;〃 said BAINES; 〃I'll dry my tear; And steel my sympathetic 
heart。〃 

〃She makes me perch upon a tree; Rewarding me with 'Sweety … nice!' 
And threatens to exhibit me With four or five performing mice。〃 

〃Restrain my tears I wish I could〃 (Said BAINES); 〃I don't know what 
to do。〃 Said CAPTAIN BAGG; 〃You're very good。〃 〃Oh; not at all;〃 said 
BAINES CAREW。 

〃She makes me fire a gun;〃 said BAGG; 〃And; at a preconcerted word; 
Climb up a ladder with a flag; Like any street performing bird。 

〃She places sugar in my way … In public places calls me 'Sweet!' She 
gives me groundsel every day; And hard canary…seed to eat。〃 

〃Oh; woe! oh; sad! oh; dire to tell!〃 (Said BAINES)。 〃Be good enough 
to stop。〃 And senseless on the floor he fell; With unpremeditated flop! 

Said CAPTAIN BAGG; 〃Well; really I Am grieved to think it pains 
you so。 I thank you for your sympathy; But; hang it! … come … I say; you 
know!〃 

But BAINES lay flat upon the floor; Convulsed with sympathetic sob; 

…The Captain toddled off next door; And gave the case to MR。 COBB。 
25 



Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense 

Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense 
S 
WINTERBOTTOM HANCE。 


IN all the towns and cities fair On Merry England's broad expanse; No 
swordsman ever could compare With THOMAS WINTERBOTTOM 
HANCE。 

The dauntless lad could fairly hew A silken handkerchief in twain; 
Divide a leg of mutton too … And this without unwholesome strain。 

On whole half…sheep; with cunning trick; His sabre sometimes he'd 
employ … No bar of lead; however thick; Had terrors for the stalwart boy。 

At Dover daily he'd prepare To hew and slash; behind; before … Which 
aggravated MONSIEUR PIERRE; Who watched him from the Calais 
shore。 

It caused good PIERRE to swear and dance; The sight annoyed and 
vexed him so; He was the bravest man in France … He said so; and he 
ought to know。 

〃Regardez donc; ce cochon gros … Ce polisson! Oh; sacre bleu! Son 
sabre; son plomb; et ses gigots Comme cela m'ennuye; enfin; mon Dieu! 

〃Il sait que les foulards de soie Give no retaliating whack … Les gigots 
morts n'ont pas de quoi … Le plomb don't ever hit you back。〃 

But every day the headstrong lad Cut lead and mutton more and more; 
And every day poor PIERRE; half mad; Shrieked loud defiance from his 
shore。 

HANCE had a mother; poor and old; A simple; harmless village dame; 
Who crowed and clapped as people told Of WINTERBOTTOM'S rising 
fame。 

She said; 〃I'

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