the three taverns(三家酒店)-第8节
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and don't begin your stories always in the middle。 Was he man； or was he
demon？ Anyhow； you've gone too far To go back； and I'm your servant。
I'm the lord； but you're the master。 Now go on with what you know； for I'm
excited。〃
〃Do you mean Do you mean to make me try to think that you know
less than I do？〃
〃I know that you foreshadow the beginning of a scene。 Pray be careful；
and as accurate as if the doors of heaven Were to swing or to stay bolted
from now on for evermore。〃
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〃Do you conceive； with all your smooth contempt of every feeling； Of
hiding what you know and what you must have known before？ Is it worth
a woman's torture to stand here and have you smiling； With only your poor
fetish of possession on your side？ No thing but one is wholly sure； and
that's not one to scare me； When I meet it I may say to God at last that I
have tried。 And yet； for all I know； or all I dare believe； my trials
Henceforward will be more for you to bear than are your own； And you
must give me keys of yours to rooms I have not entered。 Do you see me on
your threshold all my life； and there alone？ Will you tell me where you see
me in your fancy when it leads you Far enough beyond the moment for
a glance at the abyss？〃
〃Will you tell me what intrinsic and amazing sort of nonsense You are
crowding on the patience of the man who gives you this？ Look around
you and be sorry you're not living in an attic； With a civet and a fish…net；
and with you to pay the rent。 I say words that you can spell without the use
of all your letters； And I grant； if you insist； that I've a guess at what you
meant。〃
〃Have I told you； then； for nothing； that I met him？ Are you trying To
be merry while you try to make me hate you？〃
〃Think again； My dear； before you tell me； in a language unbecoming
To a lady； what you plan to tell me next。 If I complain； If I seem an atom
peevish at the preference you mention Or imply； to be precise you
may believe； or you may not； That I'm a trifle more aware of what he
wants than you are。 But I shouldn't throw that at you。 Make believe that I
forgot。 Make believe that he's a genius； if you like； but in the meantime
Don't go back to rocking…horses。 There； there； there； now。〃
〃Make believe！ When you see me standing helpless on a plank above
a whirlpool； Do I drown； or do I hear you when you say it？ Make believe？
How much more am I to say or do for you before I tell you That I met him！
What's to follow now may be for you to choose。 Do you hear me？ Won't
you listen？ It's an easy thing to listen。 。 。 。〃
〃And it's easy to be crazy when there's everything to lose。〃
〃If at last you have a notion that I mean what I am saying； Do I seem
to tell you nothing when I tell you I shall try？ If you save me； and I lose
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him I don't know it won't much matter。 I dare say that I've lied enough；
but now I do not lie。〃
〃Do you fancy me the one man who has waited and said nothing While
a wife has dragged an old infatuation from a tomb？ Give the thing a little
air and it will vanish into ashes。 There you are piff！ presto！〃
〃When I came into this room； It seemed as if I saw the place； and you
there at your table； As you are now at this moment； for the last time in my
life； And I told myself before I came to find you； ‘I shall tell him； If I can；
what I have learned of him since I became his wife。' And if you say； as I've
no doubt you will before I finish； That you have tried unceasingly； with all
your might and main； To teach me； knowing more than I of what it was I
needed； Don't think； with all you may have thought； that you have tried in
vain； For you have taught me more than hides in all the shelves of
knowledge Of how little you found that's in me and was in me all along。 I
believed； if I intruded nothing on you that I cared for； I'd be half as much
as horses； and it seems that I was wrong； I believed there was enough of
earth in me； with all my nonsense Over things that made you sleepy； to
keep something still awake； But you taught me soon to read my book； and
God knows I have read it Ages longer than an angel would have read it
for your sake。 I have said that you must open other doors than I have
entered； But I wondered while I said it if I might not be obscure。 Is there
anything in all your pedigrees and inventories With a value more elusive
than a dollar's？ Are you sure That if I starve another year for you I shall be
stronger To endure another like it and another till I'm dead？〃
〃Has your tame cat sold a picture？ or more likely had a windfall？ Or
for God's sake； what's broke loose？ Have you a bee…hive in your head？ A
little more of this from you will not be easy hearing。 Do you know that？
Understand it； if you do； for if you won't。 。 。 。 What the devil are you
saying！ Make believe you never said it； And I'll say I never heard it。 。 。 。
Oh； you。 。 。 。 If you。 。 。 。〃
〃If I don't？〃
〃There are men who say there's reason hidden somewhere in a woman；
But I doubt if God himself remembers where the key was hung。〃
〃He may not； for they say that even God himself is growing。 I wonder
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if he makes believe that he is growing young； I wonder if he makes
believe that women who are giving All they have in holy loathing to a
stranger all their lives Are the wise ones who build houses in the
Bible。 。 。 。〃
〃Stop you devil！〃
〃。 。 。 Or that souls are any whiter when their bodies are called wives。 If
a dollar's worth of gold will hoop the walls of hell together； Why need
heaven be such a ruin of a place that never was？ And if at last I lied my
starving soul away to nothing； Are you sure you might not miss it？ Have
you come to such a pass That you would have me longer in your arms if
you discovered That I made you into someone else。 。 。 。 Oh！ 。 。 。 Well； there
are worse ways。 But why aim it at my feet unless you fear you may be
sorry。 。 。 。 There are many days ahead of you。〃
〃I do not see those days。〃
〃I can see them。 Granted even I am wrong； there are the children。 And
are they to praise their father for his insight if we die？ Do you hear them？
Do you hear them overhead the children singing？ Do you hear them？
Do you hear the children？〃
〃Damn the children！〃
〃Why？ What have THEY done？ 。 。 。 Well； then； do it。 。 。 。 Do it now；
and have it over。〃
〃Oh； you devil！ 。 。 。 Oh； you。 。 。 。〃
〃No； I'm not a devil； I'm a prophet One who sees the end already of
so much that one end more Would have now the small importance of one
other small illusion； Which in turn would have a welcome where the rest
have gone before。 But if I were you； my fancy would look on a little
farther For the glimpse of a release that may be somewhere still in sight。
Furthermore； you must remember those two hundred invitations For the
dancing after dinner。 We shall have to shine tonight。 We shall dance； and
be as happy as a pair of merry spectres； On the grave of all the lies that we
shall never have to tell； We shall dance among the ruins of the tomb of our
endurance； And I have not a doubt that we shall do it very well。 There！
I'm glad you've put it back； for I don't like it。 Shut the drawer now。 No
no don't cancel anything。 I'll dance until I drop。 I can't walk yet； but I'm
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going to。 。 。 。 Go away somewhere； and leave me。 。 。 。 Oh； you children！
Oh； you children！ 。 。 。 God； will they never stop！〃
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Tasker Norcross
〃Whether all towns and all who live in them So long as they be
somewhere in this world That we in our complacency call ours Are
more or less the same； I leave to you。 I should say less。 Whether or not；
m
