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〃Tell　Monsieur　Baudoyer　that　there　must　be　no　delay；〃　he　added；　in　the

hearing　of　all　the　clerks；　〃my　resignation　is　already　in　the

minister's　hands；　and　I　do　not　wish　to　stay　here　longer　than　is

necessary。〃



Seeing　Bixiou；　Rabourdin　went　straight　up　to　him；　showed　him　the

lithograph；　and　said；　to　the　great　astonishment　of　all　present；



〃Was　I　not　right　in　saying　you　were　an　artist？　Still；　it　is　a　pity　you

directed　the　point　of　your　pencil　against　a　man　who　cannot　be　judged

in　this　way；　nor　indeed　by　the　bureaus　at　all；but　everything　is

laughed　at　in　France；　even　God。〃



Then　he　took　Baudoyer　into　the　office　of　the　late　La　Billardiere。　At

the　door　he　found　Phellion　and　Sebastien；　the　only　two　who；　under　his

great　disaster；　dared　to　remain　openly　faithful　to　the　fallen　man。

Rabourdin　noticed　that　Phellion's　eyes　were　moist；　and　he　could　not

refrain　from　wringing　his　hand。



〃Monsieur；〃　said　the　good　man；　〃if　we　can　serve　you　in　any　way；　make

use　of　us。〃



Monsieur　Rabourdin　shut　himself　up　in　the　late　chief's　office　with

Monsieur　Baudoyer；　and　Phellion　helped　him　to　show　the　new　incumbent

all　the　administrative　difficulties　of　his　new　position。　At　each

separate　affair　which　Rabourdin　carefully　explained；　Baudoyer's　little

eyes　grew　big　as　saucers。



〃Farewell；　monsieur；〃　said　Rabourdin　at　last；　with　a　manner　that　was

half…solemn；　half…satirical。



Sebastien　meanwhile　had　made　up　a　package　of　papers　and　letters

belonging　to　his　chief　and　had　carried　them　away　in　a　hackney　coach。

Rabourdin　passed　through　the　grand　courtyard；　while　all　the　clerks

were　watching　from　the　windows；　and　waited　there　a　moment　to　see　if

the　minister　would　send　him　any　message。　His　Excellency　was　dumb。

Phellion　courageously　escorted　the　fallen　man　to　his　home；　expressing

his　feelings　of　respectful　admiration；　then　he　returned　to　the　office；

and　took　up　his　work；　satisfied　with　his　own　conduct　in　rendering

these　funeral　honors　to　the　neglected　and　misjudged　administrative

talent。



Bixiou　＇seeing　Phellion　re…enter＇。　〃Victrix　cause　diis　placuit；　sed

victa　Catoni。〃



Phellion。　〃Yes；　monsieur。〃



Poiret。　〃What　does　that　mean？〃



Fleury。　〃That　priests　rejoice；　and　Monsieur　Rabourdin　has　the　respect

of　men　of　honor。〃



Dutocq　＇annoyed＇。　〃You　didn't　say　that　yesterday。〃



Fleury。　〃If　you　address　me　you'll　have　my　hand　in　your　face。　It　is

known　for　certain　that　you　filched　those　papers　from　Monsieur

Rabourdin。〃　＇Dutocq　leaves　the　office。＇　〃Oh；　yes；　go　and　complain　to

your　Monsieur　des　Lupeaulx；　spy！〃



Bixiou　＇laughing　and　grimacing　like　a　monkey＇。　〃I　am　curious　to　know

how　the　division　will　get　along。　Monsieur　Rabourdin　is　so　remarkable　a

man　that　he　must　have　had　some　special　views　in　that　work　of　his。

Well；　the　minister　loses　a　fine　mind。〃　＇Rubs　his　hands。＇



Laurent　＇entering＇。　〃Monsieur　Fleury　is　requested　to　go　to　the

secretary's　office。〃



All　the　clerks。　〃Done　for！〃



Fleury　＇leaving　the　room＇。　〃I　don't　care；　I　am　offered　a　place　as

responsible　editor。　I　shall　have　all　my　time　to　myself　to　lounge　the

streets　or　do　amusing　work　in　a　newspaper　office。〃



Bixiou。　〃Dutocq　has　already　made　them　cut　off　the　head　of　that　poor

Desroys。〃



Colleville　＇entering　joyously＇。　〃Gentlemen；　I　am　appointed　head　of

this　bureau。〃



Thuillier。　〃Ah；　my　friend；　if　it　were　I　myself；　I　couldn't　be　better

pleased。〃



Bixiou。　〃His　wife　has　managed　it。〃　＇Laughter。＇



Poiret。　〃Will　any　one　tell　me　the　meaning　of　all　that　is　happening

here　to…day？〃



Bixiou。　〃Do　you　really　want　to　know？　Then　listen。　The　antechamber　of

the　administration　is　henceforth　a　chamber；　the　court　is　a　boudoir；

the　best　way　to　get　in　is　through　the　cellar；　and　the　bed　is　more　than

ever　a　cross…cut。〃



Poiret。　〃Monsieur　Bixiou；　may　I　entreat　you；　explain？〃



Bixiou。　〃I'll　paraphrase　my　opinion。　To　be　anything　at　all　you　must

begin　by　being　everything。　It　is　quite　certain　that　a　reform　of　this

service　is　needed；　for　on　my　word　of　honor；　the　State　robs　the　poor

officials　as　much　as　the　officials　rob　the　State　in　the　matter　of

hours。　But　why　is　it　that　we　idle　as　we　do？　because　they　pay　us　too

little；　and　the　reason　of　that　is　we　are　too　many　for　the　work；　and

your　late　chief；　the　virtuous　Rabourdin；　saw　all　this　plainly。　That

great　administrator；for　he　was　that；　gentlemen；saw　what　the　thing

is　coming　to；　the　thing　that　these　idiots　call　the　'working　of　our

admirable　institutions。'　The　chamber　will　want　before　long　to

administrate；　and　the　administrators　will　want　to　legislate。　The

government　will　try　to　administrate　and　the　administrators　will　want

to　govern；　and　so　it　will　go　on。　Laws　will　come　to　be　mere

regulations；　and　ordinances　will　be　thought　laws。　God　made　this　epoch

of　the　world　for　those　who　like　to　laugh。　I　live　in　a　state　of　jovial

admiration　of　the　spectacle　which　the　greatest　joker　of　modern　times；

Louis　XVIII。；　bequeathed　to　us〃　＇general　stupefaction＇。　〃Gentlemen；　if

France；　the　country　with　the　best　civil　service　in　Europe；　is　managed

thus；　what　do　you　suppose　the　other　nations　are　like？　Poor　unhappy

nations！　I　ask　myself　how　they　can　possibly　get　along　without　two

Chambers；　without　the　liberty　of　the　press；　without　reports；　without

circulars　even；　without　an　army　of　clerks？　Dear；　dear；　how　do　you

suppose　they　have　armies　and　navies？　how　can　they　exist　at　all　without

political　discussions？　Can　they　even　be　called　nations；　or

governments？　It　is　said　（mere　traveller's　tales）　that　these　strange

peoples　claim　to　have　a　policy；　to　wield　a　certain　influence；　but

that's　absurd！　how　can　they　when　they　haven't　'progress'　or　'new

lights'？　They　can't　stir　up　ideas；　they　haven't　an　independent　forum；

they　are　still　in　the　twilight　of　barbarism。　There　are　no　people　in

the　world　but　the　French　people　who　have　ideas。　Can　you　understand；

Monsieur　Poiret；〃　＇Poiret　jumped　as　if　he　had　been　shot＇　〃how　a　nation

can　do　without　heads　of　divisions；　general…secretaries　and　directors；

and　all　this　splendid　array　of　officials；　the　glory　of　France　and　of

the　Emperor　Napoleon；who　had　his　own　good　reasons　for　creating　a

myriad　of　offices？　I　don't　see　how　those　nations　have　the　audacity　to

live　at　all。　There's　Austria；　which　has　less　than　a　hundred　clerks　in

her　war　ministry；　while　the　salaries　and　pensions　of　ours　amount　to　a

third　of　our　whole　budget；　a　thing　that　was　unheard　of　before　the

Revolution。　I　sum　up　all　I've　been　saying　in　one　single　remark；

namely；　that　the　Academy　of　Inscriptions　and　Belles…lettres；　which

seems　to　have　very　little　to　do；　had　better　offer　a　prize　for　the

ablest　answer　to　the　following　question：　Which　is　the　best　organized

State；　the　one　that　does　many　things　with　few　officials；　or　the　one

that　does　next　to　nothing　with　an　army　of　them？〃



Poiret。　〃Is　that　your　last　word？〃



Bixiou。　〃Yes；　sir！　whether　English；　French；　German　or　Italian；I　let

you　off　the　other　languages。〃



Poiret　＇lifting　his　hands　to　heaven＇。　〃Gracious　goodness！　and　they

call　you　a　witty　man！〃



Bixiou。　〃Haven't　you　understood　me　yet？〃



Phellion。　〃Your　last　observation　was　full　of　excellent　sense。〃



Bixiou。　〃Just　as　full　as　the　budget　itself；　and　like　the　budget　again；

as　complicated　as　it　looks　simple；　and　I　set　it　as　a　warning；　a

beacon；　at　the　edge　of　this　hole；　this　gulf；　this　volcano；　called；　in

the　language　of　the　'Constitutionel；'　'the　political　horizon。'〃



Poiret。　〃I　should　much　prefer　a　comprehensible　explanation。〃



Bixiou。　〃Hurrah　for　Rabourdin！　there's　my　explanation；　that's　my

opinion。　Are　you　satisfied？〃



Colleville　＇gravely＇。　〃Monsieur　Rabourdin　had　but　one　defect。〃



Poiret。　〃What　was　it？〃



Colleville。　〃That　of　being　a　statesman　instead　of　a　subordinate

official。〃



Phellion　＇standing　before　Bixiou＇。　〃Monsieur！　why　did　you；　who

understand　Monsieur　Rabourdin　so　well；　why　did　you　make　that　infthat

odithat　hideous　caricature？〃



Bixiou。　〃Do　you　forget　our　bet？　don't　you　know　I　was　backing　the

devil's　game；　and　that　your　bureau　owes　me　a　dinner　at　the　Rocher　de

Cancale？〃



Poiret　＇much　put…out＇。　〃Then　it　is　a　settled　thing　that　I　am　to　leave

this　government　office　without　ever　understanding　a　sentence；　or　a

single　word　uttered　by　Monsieur　Bixiou。〃



Bixiou。　〃It　is　your　own　fault；　ask　these　gentlemen。　Gentlemen；　have

you　understood　the　meaning　of　my　observations？　and　were　those

observations　just；　and　brilliant？〃



All。　〃Alas；　yes！〃



Minard。　〃And　the　proof　is　that　I　shall　send　in　my　resignation。　I　shall

plunge　into　industrial　avocations。〃



Bixiou。　〃What！　have　you　managed　to　invent　a　mechanical　corset；　or　a

baby's　bottle；　or　a　fire　engine；　or　chimneys　that　consume　no　fuel；　or

ovens　which　cook　cutlets　with　three　sheets　of　paper？〃



Minard　＇departing。＇　〃Adieu；　I　shall　keep　my　secret。〃



Bixiou。　〃Well；　young　Poiret　junior；　you　see；all　these　gentlemen

understand　me。〃



Poiret　＇crest…fa