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you？〃



Phellion　＇laying　down　his　pen＇。　〃Monsieur；　may　I　ask　on　what　you　base

that　contingent　proposal？for　contingent　it　is。　But　stay；　I　am　wrong

to　call　it　a　proposal；　I　should　say　contract。　A　wager　constitutes　a

contract。〃



Fleury。　〃No；　no；　you　can　only　apply　the　word　'contract'　to　agreements

that　are　recognized　in　the　Code。　Now　the　Code　allows　of　no　action　for

the　recovery　of　a　bet。〃



Dutocq。　〃Proscribe　a　thing　and　you　recognize　it。〃



Bixiou。　〃Good！　my　little　man。〃



Poiret。　〃Dear　me！〃



Fleury。　〃True！　when　one　refuses　to　pay　one's　debts；　that's　recognizing

them。〃



Thuillier。　〃You　would　make　famous　lawyers。〃



Poiret。　〃I　am　as　curious　as　Monsieur　Phellion　to　know　what　grounds

Monsieur　Bixiou　has　for〃



Bixiou　＇shouting　across　the　office＇。　〃Du　Bruel！　Will　you　bet？〃



Du　Bruel　＇appearing　at　the　door＇。　〃Heavens　and　earth；　gentlemen；　I'm

very　busy；　I　have　something　very　difficult　to　do；　I've　got　to　write　an

obituary　notice　of　Monsieur　de　la　Billardiere。　I　do　beg　you　to　be

quiet；　you　can　laugh　and　bet　afterwards。〃



Bixiou。　〃That's　true；　du　Bruel；　the　praise　of　an　honest　man　is　a　very

difficult　thing　to　write。　I'd　rather　any　day　draw　a　caricature　of

him。〃



Du　Bruel。　〃Do　come　and　help　me；　Bixiou。〃



Bixiou　＇following　him＇。　〃I'm　willing；　though　I　can　do　such　things　much

better　when　eating。〃



Du　Bruel。　〃Well；　we　will　go　and　dine　together　afterwards。　But　listen；

this　is　what　I　have　written〃　＇reads＇　〃'The　Church　and　the　Monarchy　are

daily　losing　many　of　those　who　fought　for　them　in　Revolutionary

times。'〃



Bixiou。　〃Bad；　very　bad；　why　don't　you　say；　'Death　carries　on　its

ravages　amongst　the　few　surviving　defenders　of　the　monarchy　and　the

old　and　faithful　servants　of　the　King；　whose　heart　bleeds　under　these

reiterated　blows？'〃　＇Du　Bruel　writes　rapidly。＇　〃'Monsieur　le　Baron

Flamet　de　la　Billardiere　died　this　morning　of　dropsy；　caused　by　heart

disease。'　You　see；　it　is　just　as　well　to　show　there　are　hearts　in

government　offices；　and　you　ought　to　slip　in　a　little　flummery　about

the　emotions　of　the　Royalists　during　the　Terror；might　be　useful；

hey！　But　stay；no！　the　petty　papers　would　be　sure　to　say　the　emotions

came　more　from　the　stomach　than　the　heart。　Better　leave　that　out。　What

are　you　writing　now？〃



Du　Bruel　＇reading＇。　〃'Issuing　from　an　old　parliamentary　stock　in　which

devotion　to　the　throne　was　hereditary；　as　was　also　attachment　to　the

faith　of　our　fathers；　Monsieur　de　la　Billardiere'〃



Bixiou。　〃Better　say　Monsieur　le　Baron　de　la　Billardiere。〃



Du　Bruel。　〃But　he　wasn't　baron　in　1793。〃



Bixiou。　〃No　matter。　Don't　you　remember　that　under　the　Empire　Fouche

was　telling　an　anecdote　about　the　Convention；　in　which　he　had　to　quote

Robespierre；　and　he　said；　'Robespierre　called　out　to　me；　〃Duc

d'Otrante；　go　to　the　Hotel　de　Ville。〃'　There's　a　precedent　for　you！〃



Du　Bruel。　〃Let　me　just　write　that　down；　I　can　use　it　in　a　vaudeville。

But　to　go　back　to　what　we　were　saying。　I　don't　want　to　put　'Monsieur

le　baron；'　because　I　am　reserving　his　honors　till　the　last；　when　they

rained　upon　him。〃



Bixiou。　〃Oh！　very　good；　that's　theatrical；the　finale　of　the

article。〃



Du　Bruel　＇continuing＇。　〃'In　appointing　Monsieur　de　la　Billardiere

gentleman…in…ordinary'〃



Bixiou。　〃Very　ordinary！〃



Du　Bruel。　〃'of　the　Bedchamber；　the　King　rewarded　not　only　the

services　rendered　by　the　Provost；　who　knew　how　to　harmonize　the

severity　of　his　functions　with　the　customary　urbanity　of　the　Bourbons；

but　the　bravery　of　the　Vendean　hero；　who　never　bent　the　knee　to　the

imperial　idol。　He　leaves　a　son；　who　inherits　his　loyalty　and　his

talents。'〃



Bixiou。　〃Don't　you　think　all　that　is　a　little　too　florid？　I　should

tone　down　the　poetry。　'Imperial　idol！'　'bent　the　knee！'　damn　it；　my

dear　fellow；　writing　vaudevilles　has　ruined　your　style；　you　can't　come

down　to　pedestrial　prose。　I　should　say；　'He　belonged　to　the　small

number　of　those　who。'　Simplify；　simplify！　the　man　himself　was　a

simpleton。〃



Du　Bruel。　〃That's　vaudeville；　if　you　like！　You　would　make　your　fortune

at　the　theatre；　Bixiou。〃



Bixiou。　〃What　have　you　said　about　Quiberon？〃　＇Reads　over　du　Bruel's

shoulder。＇　〃Oh；　that　won't　do！　Here；　this　is　what　you　must　say：　'He

took　upon　himself；　in　a　book　recently　published；　the　responsibility

for　all　the　blunders　of　the　expedition　to　Quiberon；thus　proving　the

nature　of　his　loyalty；　which　did　not　shrink　from　any　sacrifice。'

That's　clever　and　witty；　and　exalts　La　Billardiere。〃



Du　Bruel。　〃At　whose　expense？〃



Bixiou　＇solemn　as　a　priest　in　a　pulpit＇。　〃Why；　Hoche　and　Tallien；　of

course；　don't　you　read　history？〃



Du　Bruel。　〃No。　I　subscribed　to　the　Baudouin　series；　but　I've　never　had

time　to　open　a　volume；　one　can't　find　matter　for　vaudevilles　there。〃



Phellion　＇at　the　door＇。　〃We　all　want　to　know；　Monsieur　Bixiou；　what

made　you　think　that　the　worthy　and　honorable　Monsieur　Rabourdin；　who

has　so　long　done　the　work　of　this　division　for　Monsieur　de　la

Billardiere；he；　who　is　the　senior　head　of　all　the　bureaus；　and　whom；

moreover；　the　minister　summoned　as　soon　as　he　heard　of　the　departure

of　the　late　Monsieur　de　la　Billardiere；will　not　be　appointed　head　of

the　division。〃



Bixiou。　〃Papa　Phellion；　you　know　geography？〃



Phellion　＇bridling　up＇。　〃I　should　say　so！〃



Bixiou。　〃And　history？〃



Phellion　＇affecting　modesty＇。　〃Possibly。〃



Bixiou　＇looking　fixedly　at　him＇。　〃Your　diamond　pin　is　loose；　it　is

coming　out。　Well；　you　may　know　all　that；　but　you　don't　know　the　human

heart；　you　have　gone　no　further　in　the　geography　and　history　of　that

organ　than　you　have　in　the　environs　of　the　city　of　Paris。〃



Poiret　＇to　Vimeux＇。　〃Environs　of　Paris？　I　thought　they　were　talking　of

Monsieur　Rabourdin。〃



Bixiou。　〃About　that　bet？　Does　the　entire　bureau　Rabourdin　bet　against

me？〃



All。　〃Yes。〃



Bixiou。　〃Du　Bruel；　do　you　count　in？〃



Du　Bruel。　〃Of　course　I　do。　We　want　Rabourdin　to　go　up　a　step　and　make

room　for　others。〃



Bixiou。　〃Well；　I　accept　the　bet；for　this　reason；　you　can　hardly

understand　it；　but　I'll　tell　it　to　you　all　the　same。　It　would　be　right

and　just　to　appoint　Monsieur　Rabourdin〃　＇looking　full　at　Dutocq＇；

〃because；　in　that　case；　long　and　faithful　service；　honor；　and　talent

would　be　recognized；　appreciated；　and　properly　rewarded。　Such　an

appointment　is　in　the　best　interests　of　the　administration。〃

＇Phellion；　Poiret；　and　Thuillier　listen　stupidly；　with　the　look　of

those　who　try　to　peer　before　them　in　the　darkness。＇　〃Well；　it　is　just

because　the　promotion　would　be　so　fitting；　and　because　the　man　has

such　merit；　and　because　the　measure　is　so　eminently　wise　and　equitable

that　I　bet　Rabourdin　will　not　be　appointed。　Yes；　you'll　see；　that

appointment　will　slip　up；　just　like　the　invasion　from　Boulogne；　and

the　march　to　Russia；　for　the　success　of　which　a　great　genius　has

gathered　together　all　the　chances。　It　will　fail　as　all　good　and　just

things　do　fail　in　this　low　world。　I　am　only　backing　the　devil's　game。〃



Du　Bruel。　〃Who　do　you　think　will　be　appointed？〃



Bixiou。　〃The　more　I　think　about　Baudoyer；　the　more　sure　I　feel　that　he

unites　all　the　opposite　qualities；　therefore　I　think　he　will　be　the

next　head　of　this　division。〃



Dutocq。　〃But　Monsieur　des　Lupeaulx；　who　sent　for　me　to　borrow　my

Charlet；　told　me　positively　that　Monsieur　Rabourdin　was　appointed；　and

that　the　little　La　Billardiere　would　be　made　Clerk　of　the　Seals。〃



Bixiou。　〃Appointed；　indeed！　The　appointment　can't　be　made　and　signed

under　ten　days。　It　will　certainly　not　be　known　before　New…Year's　day。

There　he　goes　now　across　the　courtyard；　look　at　him；　and　say　if　the

virtuous　Rabourdin　looks　like　a　man　in　the　sunshine　of　favor。　I　should

say　he　knows　he's　dismissed。〃　＇Fleury　rushes　to　the　window。＇

〃Gentlemen；　adieu；　I'll　go　and　tell　Monsieur　Baudoyer　that　I　hear　from

you　that　Rabourdin　is　appointed；　it　will　make　him　furious；　the　pious

creature！　Then　I'll　tell　him　of　our　wager；　to　cool　him　down；a

process　we　call　at　the　theatre　turning　the　Wheel　of　Fortune；　don't　we；

du　Bruel？　Why　do　I　care　who　gets　the　place？　simply　because　if　Baudoyer

does　he　will　make　me　under…head…clerk〃　＇goes　out＇。



Poiret。　〃Everybody　says　that　man　is　clever；　but　as　for　me；　I　can　never

understand　a　word　he　says〃　＇goes　on　copying＇。　〃I　listen　and　listen；　I

hear　words；　but　I　never　get　at　any　meaning；　he　talks　about　the

environs　of　Paris　when　he　discusses　the　human　heart　and〃　＇lays　down

his　pen　and　goes　to　the　stove＇　〃declares　he　backs　the　devil's　game

when　it　is　a　question　of　Russia　and　Boulogne；　now　what　is　there　so

clever　in　that；　I'd　like　to　know？　We　must　first　admit　that　the　devil

plays　any　game　at　all；　and　then　find　out　what　game；　possibly　dominoes〃

＇blows　his　nose＇。



Fleury　＇interrupting＇。　〃Pere　Poiret　is　blowing　his　nose；　it　must　be

eleven　o'clock。〃



Du　Bruel。　〃So　it　is！　Goodness！　I'm　off　to　the　secretary；　he　wants　to

read　the　obituar