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himself。　A　standing　joke　in　the　two　bureaus　was　the　question　whether

he　wore　corsets；　and　bets　depended　on　it。　Vimeux　was　originally

appointed　to　Baudoyer's　bureau；　but　he　manoeuvred　to　get　himself

transferred　to　Rabourdin's；　on　account　of　Baudoyer's　extreme　severity

in　relation　to　what　were　called　〃the　English；〃a　name　given　by　the

government　clerks　to　their　creditors。　〃English　day〃　means　the　day　on

which　the　government　offices　are　thrown　open　to　the　public。　Certain

then　of　finding　their　delinquent　debtors；　the　creditors　swarm　in　and

torment　them；　asking　when　they　intend　to　pay；　and　threatening　to

attach　their　salaries。　The　implacable　Baudoyer　compelled　the　clerks　to

remain　at　their　desks　and　endure　this　torture。　〃It　was　their　place　not

to　make　debts；〃　he　said；　and　he　considered　his　severity　as　a　duty

which　he　owed　to　the　public　weal。　Rabourdin；　on　the　contrary；

protected　the　clerks　against　their　creditors；　and　turned　the　latter

away；　saying　that　the　government　bureaus　were　open　for　public

business；　not　private。　Much　ridicule　pursued　Vimeux　in　both　bureaus

when　the　clank　of　his　spurs　resounded　in　the　corridors　and　on　the

staircases。　The　wag　of　the　ministry；　Bixiou；　sent　round　a　paper；

headed　by　a　caricature　of　his　victim　on　a　pasteboard　horse；　asking　for

subscriptions　to　buy　him　a　live　charger。　Monsieur　Baudoyer　was　down

for　a　bale　of　hay　taken　from　his　own　forage　allowance；　and　each　of　the

clerks　wrote　his　little　epigram；　Vimeux　himself；　good…natured　fellow

that　he　was；　subscribed　under　the　name　of　〃Miss　Fairfax。〃



Handsome　clerks　of　the　Vimeux　style　have　their　salaries　on　which　to

live；　and　their　good　looks　by　which　to　make　their　fortune。　Devoted　to

masked　balls　during　the　carnival；　they　seek　their　luck　there；　though

it　often　escapes　them。　Many　end　the　weary　round　by　marrying　milliners；

or　old　women；sometimes；　however；　young　ones　who　are　charmed　with

their　handsome　persons；　and　with　whom　they　set　up　a　romance

illustrated　with　stupid　love　letters；　which；　nevertheless；　seem　to

answer　their　purpose。



Bixiou　（pronounce　it　Bisiou）　was　a　draughtsman；　who　ridiculed　Dutocq

as　readily　as　he　did　Rabourdin；　whom　he　nicknamed　〃the　virtuous

woman。〃　Without　doubt　the　cleverest　man　in　the　division　or　even　in　the

ministry　（but　clever　after　the　fashion　of　a　monkey；　without　aim　or

sequence）；　Bixiou　was　so　essentially　useful　to　Baudoyer　and　Godard

that　they　upheld　and　protected　him　in　spite　of　his　misconduct；　for　he

did　their　work　when　they　were　incapable　of　doing　it　for　themselves。

Bixiou　wanted　either　Godard's　or　du　Bruel's　place　as　under…head…clerk；

but　his　conduct　interfered　with　his　promotion。　Sometimes　he　sneered　at

the　public　service；　this　was　usually　after　he　had　made　some　happy　hit；

such　as　the　publication　of　portraits　in　the　famous　Fualdes　case　（for

which　he　drew　faces　hap…hazard）；　or　his　sketch　of　the　debate　on　the

Castaing　affair。　At　other　times；　when　possessed　with　a　desire　to　get

on；　he　really　applied　himself　to　work；　though　he　would　soon　leave　off

to　write　a　vaudeville；　which　was　never　finished。　A　thorough　egoist；　a

spendthrift　and　a　miser　in　one；that　is　to　say；　spending　his　money

solely　on　himself；sharp；　aggressive；　and　indiscreet；　he　did　mischief

for　mischief's　sake；　above　all；　he　attacked　the　weak；　respected

nothing　and　believed　in　nothing；　neither　in　France；　nor　in　God；　nor　in

art；　nor　in　the　Greeks；　nor　in　the　Turks；　nor　in　the　monarchy；

insulting　and　disparaging　everything　that　he　could　not　comprehend。　He

was　the　first　to　paint　a　black　cap　on　Charles　X。's　head　on　the　five…

franc　coins。　He　mimicked　Dr。　Gall　when　lecturing；　till　he　made　the

most　starched　of　diplomatists　burst　their　buttons。　Famous　for　his

practical　jokes；　he　varied　them　with　such　elaborate　care　that　he

always　obtained　a　victim。　His　great　secret　in　this　was　the　power　of

guessing　the　inmost　wishes　of　others；　he　knew　the　way　to　many　a　castle

in　the　air；　to　the　dreams　about　which　a　man　may　be　fooled　because　he

wants　to　be；　and　he　made　such　men　sit　to　him　for　hours。



Thus　it　happened　that　this　close　observer；　who　could　display

unrivalled　tact　in　developing　a　joke　or　driving　home　a　sarcasm；　was

unable　to　use　the　same　power　to　make　men　further　his　fortunes　and

promote　him。　The　person　he　most　liked　to　annoy　was　young　La

Billardiere；　his　nightmare；　his　detestation；　whom　he　was　nevertheless

constantly　wheedling　so　as　the　better　to　torment　him　on　his　weakest

side。　He　wrote　him　love　letters　signed　〃Comtesse　de　M〃　or　〃Marquise

de　B〃；　took　him　to　the　Opera　on　gala　days　and　presented　him　to　some

grisette　under　the　clock；　after　calling　everybody's　attention　to　the

young　fool。　He　allied　himself　with　Dutocq　（whom　he　regarded　as　a

solemn　juggler）　in　his　hatred　to　Rabourdin　and　his　praise　of　Baudoyer；

and　did　his　best　to　support　him。　Jean…Jaques　Bixiou　was　the　grandson

of　a　Parisian　grocer。　His　father；　who　died　a　colonel；　left　him　to　the

care　of　his　grandmother；　who　married　her　head…clerk；　named　Descoings；

after　the　death　of　her　first　husband；　and　died　in　1822。　Finding

himself　without　prospects　on　leaving　college；　he　attempted　painting；

but　in　spite　of　his　intimacy　with　Joseph　Bridau；　his　life…long　friend；

he　abandoned　art　to　take　up　caricature；　vignette　designing；　and

drawing　for　books；　which　twenty　years　later　went　by　the　name　of

〃illustration。〃　The　influence　of　the　Ducs　de　Maufrigneuse　and　de

Rhetore；　whom　he　knew　in　the　society　of　actresses；　procured　him　his

employment　under　government　in　1819。　On　good　terms　with　des　Lupeaulx；

with　whom　in　society　he　stood　on　an　equality；　and　intimate　with　du

Bruel；　he　was　a　living　proof　of　Rabourdin's　theory　as　to　the　steady

deterioration　of　the　administrative　hierarchy　in　Paris　through　the

personal　importance　which　a　government　official　may　acquire　outside　of

a　government　office。　Short　in　stature　but　well…formed；　with　a　delicate

face　remarkable　for　its　vague　likeness　to　Napoleon's；　thin　lips；　a

straight　chin；　chestnut　whiskers；　twenty…seven　years　old；　fair…

skinned；　with　a　piercing　voice　and　sparkling　eye；such　was　Bixiou；　a

man；　all　sense　and　all　wit；　who　abandoned　himself　to　a　mad　pursuit　of

pleasure　of　every　description；　which　threw　him　into　a　constant　round

of　dissipation。　Hunter　of　grisettes；　smoker；　jester；　diner…out　and

frequenter　of　supper…parties；　always　tuned　to　the　highest　pitch；

shining　equally　in　the　greenroom　and　at　the　balls　given　among　the

grisettes　of　the　Allee　des　Veuves；　he　was　just　as　surprisingly

entertaining　at　table　as　at　a　picnic；　as　gay　and　lively　at　midnight　on

the　streets　as　in　the　morning　when　he　jumped　out　of　bed；　and　yet　at

heart　gloomy　and　melancholy；　like　most　of　the　great　comic　players。



Launched　into　the　world　of　actors　and　actresses；　writers；　artists；　and

certain　women　of　uncertain　means；　he　lived　well；　went　to　the　theatre

without　paying；　gambled　at　Frascati；　and　often　won。　Artist　by　nature

and　really　profound；　though　by　flashes　only；　he　swayed　to　and　fro　in

life　like　a　swing；　without　thinking　or　caring　of　a　time　when　the　cord

would　break。　The　liveliness　of　his　wit　and　the　prodigal　flow　of　his

ideas　made　him　acceptable　to　all　persons　who　took　pleasure　in　the

lights　of　intellect；　but　none　of　his　friends　liked　him。　Incapable　of

checking　a　witty　saying；　he　would　scarify　his　two　neighbors　before　a

dinner　was　half　over。　In　spite　of　his　skin…deep　gayety；　a　secret

dissatisfaction　with　his　social　position　could　be　detected　in　his

speech；　he　aspired　to　something　better；　but　the　fatal　demon　hiding　in

his　wit　hindered　him　from　acquiring　the　gravity　which　imposes　on

fools。　He　lived　on　the　second　floor　of　a　house　in　the　rue　de　Ponthieu；

where　he　had　three　rooms　delivered　over　to　the　untidiness　of　a

bachelor's　establishment；　in　fact；　a　regular　bivouac。　He　often　talked

of　leaving　France　and　seeking　his　fortune　in　America。　No　wizard　could

foretell　the　future　of　this　young　man　in　whom　all　talents　were

incomplete；　who　was　incapable　of　perseverance；　intoxicated　with

pleasure；　and　who　acted　on　the　belief　that　the　world　ended　on　the

morrow。



In　the　matter　of　dress　Bixiou　had　the　merit　of　never　being　ridiculous；

he　was　perhaps　the　only　official　of　the　ministry　whose　dress　did　not

lead　outsiders　to　say；　〃That　man　is　a　government　clerk！〃　He　wore

elegant　boots　with　black　trousers　strapped　under　them；　a　fancy

waistcoat；　a　becoming　blue　coat；　collars　that　were　the　never…ending

gift　of　grisettes；　one　of　Bandoni's　hats；　and　a　pair　of　dark…colored

kid　gloves。　His　walk　and　bearing；　cavalier　and　simple　both；　were　not

without　grace。　He　knew　all　this；　and　when　des　Lupeaulx　summoned　him

for　a　piece　of　impertinence　said　and　done　about　Monsieur　de　la

Billardiere　and　threatened　him　with　dismissal；　Bixiou　replied；　〃You

will　take　me　back　because　my　clothes　do　credit　to　the　ministry〃；　and

des　Lupeaulx；　unable　to　keep　from　laughing；　let　the　matter　pass。　The

most　harmless　of　Bixiou's　jokes　perpetrated　among　the　clerks　was　the

one　he　played　off　upon　Go