道林格雷的画像_奥斯卡·王尔德-第2节
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〃not at all;〃 answered lord henry; 〃not at all; my dear basil。 you seem to forget that i am married; and the one charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception absolutely necessary for both parties。 i never know where my wife is; and my wife never knows what i am doing。 when we meetwe do meet occasionally; when we dine out together; or go down to the dukeswe tell each other the most absurd stories with the most serious faces。 my wife is very good at itmuch better; in fact; than i am。 she never gets confused over her dates; and i always do。 but when she does find me out; she makes no row at all。 i sometimes wish she would; but she merely laughs at me。〃
〃i hate the way you talk about your married life; harry;〃 said basil hallward; strolling towards the door that led into the garden。 〃i believe that you are really a very good husband; but that you are thoroughly ashamed of your own virtues。 you are an extraordinary fellow。 you never say a moral thing; and you never do a wrong thing。 your cynicism is simply a pose。〃
〃being natural is simply a pose; and the most irritating pose i know;〃 cried lord henry; laughing; and the two young men went out into the garden together and ensconced themselves on a long bamboo seat that stood in the shade of a tall laurel bush。 the sunlight slipped over the polished leaves。 in the grass; white daisies were tremulous。
after a pause; lord henry pulled out his watch。 〃i am afraid i must be going; basil;〃 he murmured; 〃and before i go; i insist on your answering a question i put to you some time ago。〃
〃what is that?〃 said the painter; keeping his eyes fixed on the ground。
〃you know quite well。〃
〃i do not; harry。〃
〃well; i will tell you what it is。 i want you to explain to me why you wont exhibit dorian grays picture。 i want the real reason。〃
〃i told you the real reason。〃
〃no; you did not。 you said it was because there was too much of yourself in it。 now; that is childish。〃
〃harry;〃 said basil hallward; looking him straight in the face; 〃every portrait that is painted with feeling is a portrait of the artist; not of the sitter。 the sitter is merely the accident; the occasion。 it is not he who is revealed by the painter; it is rather the painter who; on the coloured canvas; reveals himself。 the reason i will not exhibit this picture is that i am afraid that i have shown in it the secret of my own soul。〃
lord henry laughed。 〃and what is that?〃 he asked。
〃i will tell you;〃 said hallward; but an expression of perplexity came over his face。
〃i am all expectation; basil;〃 continued his panion; glancing at him。
〃oh; there is really very little to tell; harry;〃 answered the painter; 〃and i am afraid you will hardly understand it。 perhaps you will hardly believe it。〃
lord henry smiled; and leaning down; plucked a pink…petalled daisy from the grass and examined it。 〃i am quite sure i shall understand it;〃 he replied; gazing intently at the little golden; white…feathered disk; 〃and as for believing things; i can believe anything; provided that it is quite incredible。〃
the wind shook some blossoms from the trees; and the heavy lilac…blooms; with their clustering stars; moved to and fro in the languid air。 a grasshopper began to chirrup by the wall; and like a blue thread a long thin dragon…fly floated past on its brown gauze wings。 lord henry felt as if he could hear basil hallwards heart beating; and wondered what was ing。
〃the story is simply this;〃 said the painter after some time。 〃two months ago i went to a crush at lady brandons。 you know we poor artists have to show ourselves in society from time to time; just to remind the public that we are not savages。 with an evening coat and a white tie; as you told me once; anybody; even a stock…broker; can gain a reputation for being civilized。 well; after i had been in the room about ten minutes; talking to huge overdressed dowagers and tedious academicians; i suddenly became conscious that some one was looking at me。 i turned half…way round and saw dorian gray for the first time。 when our eyes met; i felt that i was growing pale。 a curious sensation of terror came over me。 i knew that i had e face to face with some one whose mere personality was so fascinating that; if i allowed it to do so; it would absorb my whole nature; my whole soul; my very art itself。 i did not want any external influence in my life。 you know yourself; harry; how independent i am by nature。 i have always been my own master; had at least always been so; till i met dorian gray。 thenbut i dont know how to explain it to you。 something seemed to tell me that i was on the verge of a terrible crisis in my life。 i had a strange feeling that fate had in store for me exquisite joys and exquisite sorrows。 i grew afraid and turned to quit the room。 it was not conscience that made me do so: it was a sort of cowardice。 i take no credit to myself for trying to escape。〃
〃conscience and cowardice are really the same things; basil。 conscience is the trade…name of the firm。 that is all。〃
〃i dont believe that; harry; and i dont believe you do either。 however; whatever was my motiveand it may have been pride; for i used to be very proudi certainly struggled to the door。 there; of course; i stumbled against lady brandon。 you are not going to run away so soon; mr。 hallward? she screamed out。 you know her curiously shrill voice?〃
〃yes; she is a peacock in everything but beauty;〃 said lord henry; pulling the daisy to bits with his long nervous fingers。
〃i could not get rid of her。 she brought me up to royalties; and people with stars and garters; and elderly ladies with gigantic tiaras and parrot noses。 she spoke of me as her dearest friend。 i had only met her once before; but she took it into her head to lionize me。 i believe some picture of mine had made a great success at the time; at least had been chattered about in the penny newspapers; which is the nineteenth…century standard of immortality。 suddenly i found myself face to face with the young man whose personality had so strangely stirred me。 we were quite close; almost touching。 our eyes met again。 it was reckless of me; but i asked lady brandon to introduce me to him。 perhaps it was not so reckless; after all。 it was simply inevitable。 we would have spoken to each other without any introduction。 i am sure of that。 dorian told me so afterwards。 he; too; felt that we were destined to know each other。〃
〃and how did lady brandon describe this wonderful young man?〃 asked his panion。 〃i know she goes in for giving a rapid precis of all her guests。 i remember her bringing me up to a truculent and red…faced old gentleman covered all over with orders and ribbons; and hissing into my ear; in a tragic whisper which must have been perfectly audible to everybody in the room; the most astounding details。 i simply fled。 i like to find out people for myself。 but lady brandon treats her guests exactly as an auctioneer treats his goods。 she either explains them entirely away; or tells one everything about them except what one wants to know。〃
〃poor lady brandon! you are hard on her; harry!〃 said hallward listlessly。
〃my dear fellow; she tried to found a salon; and only succeeded in opening a restaurant。 how could i admire her? but tell me; what did she say about mr。 dorian gray?〃
〃oh; something like; charming boypoor dear mother and i absolutely inseparable。 quite forget what he doesafraid he doesnt do anythingoh; yes; plays the pianoor is it the violin; dear mr。 gray? neither of us could help laughing; and we became friends at once。〃
〃laughter is not at all a bad beginning for a friendship; and it is far the best ending for one;〃 said the young lord; plucking another daisy。
hallward shook his head。 〃you dont understand what friendship is; harry;〃 he murmured〃or what enmity is; for that matter。 you like every one; that is to say; you are indifferent to every one。〃
〃how horribly unjust of you!〃 cried lord henry; tilting his hat back and looking up at the little clouds that; like ravelled skeins of glossy white silk; were drifting across the hollowed turquoise of the summer sky。 〃yes; horribly unjust of you。 i make a great difference between people。 i choose my friends for their good looks; my acquaintances for their good characters; and my enemies for their good intellects。 a man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies。 i have not got one who is a fool。 they are all men of some intellectual power; and consequently they all appreciate me。 is that very vain of me? i think it is rather vain。〃
〃i should think it was; harry。 but according to your category i must be merely an acquaintance。〃
〃my dear old basil; you are much more than an acquaintance。〃
〃and much less than a friend。 a sort of brother; i suppose?〃
〃oh; brothers! i dont care for brothers。 my elder brother wont die; and my younger brothers seem never to do anything else。〃
〃harry!〃 exclaimed hallward; frowning。
〃my dear fellow; i am not quite serious。 but i cant help detesting my relations。 i suppose it es from the fact that none of us can stand other people having the same faults as ourselves。 i quite sympathize with the rage of the english democracy against what they call the vices of the upper orders。 the masses