under western eyes-第4节

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hire。　　Haldin　paused　in　his　narrative　to　exclaim



〃A　bright　spirit　！　A　hardy　soul！　The　best　driver　in　St。　Petersburg。

He　has　a　team　of　three　horses　there。　。　。　。　　Ah！　　He's　a　fellow！〃



This　man　had　declared　himself　willing　to　take　out　safely；　at

any　time；　one　or　two　persons　to　the　second　or　third　railway

station　on　one　of　the　southern　lines。　　But　there　had　been　no　time

to　warn　him　the　night　before。　His　usual　haunt　seemed　to　be　a

low…class　eating…house　on　the　outskirts　of　the　town。　　When　Haldin

got　there　the　man　was　not　to　be　found。　　He　was　not　expected　to

turn　up　again　till　the　evening。　　Haldin　wandered　away　restlessly。



He　saw　the　gate　of　a　woodyard　open　and　went　in　to　get　out　of　the

wind　which　swept　the　bleak　broad　thoroughfare。　　The　great

rectangular　piles　of　cut　wood　loaded　with　snow　resembled　the　huts

of　a　village。　　At　first　the　watchman　who　discovered　him　crouching

amongst　them　talked　in　a　friendly　manner。　　He　was　a　dried…up　old

man　wearing　two　ragged　army　coats　one　over　the　other；　his　wizened

little　face；　tied　up　under　the　jaw　and　over　the　ears　in　a　dirty

red　handkerchief；　looked　comical。　Presently　he　grew　sulky；　and

then　all　at　once　without　rhyme　or　reason　began　to　shout　furiously。



〃Aren't　you　ever　going　to　clear　out　of　this；　you　loafer？　　We　know

all　about　factory　hands　of　your　sort。　　A　big；　strong；　young　chap！

You　aren't　even　drunk。　　What　do　you　want　here？　　You　don't　frighten　us。

Take　yourself　and　your　ugly　eyes　away。〃



Haldin　stopped　before　the　sitting　Razumov。　　His　supple　figure；

with　the　white　forehead　above　which　the　fair　hair　stood　straight

up；　had　an　aspect　of　lofty　daring。



〃He　did　not　like　my　eyes；〃　he　said。　〃And　so。　。　。here　I　am。〃



Razumov　made　an　effort　to　speak　calmly。



〃But　pardon　me；　Victor　Victorovitch。　　We　know　each　other　so

little。　。　。　。　　I　don't　see　why　you　。　。　。〃



〃Confidence；〃　said　Haldin。



This　word　sealed　Razumov's　lips　as　if　a　hand　had　been　clapped

on　his　mouth。　　His　brain　seethed　with　arguments



〃And　sohere　you　are；〃　he　muttered　through　his　teeth。



The　other　did　not　detect　the　tone　of　anger。　　Never　suspected　it。



〃Yes。　　And　nobody　knows　I　am　here。　　You　are　the　last　person　that

could　be　suspectedshould　I　get　caught。　　That's　an　advantage；

you　see。　　And　thenspeaking　to　a　superior　mind　like　yours　I　can

well　say　all　the　truth。　　It　occurred　to　me　that　youyou　have　no

one　belonging　to　youno　ties；　no　one　to　suffer　for　it　if　this

came　out　by　some　means。　　There　have　been　enough　ruined　Russian

homes　as　it　is。　　But　I　don't　see　how　my　passage　through　your

rooms　can　be　ever　known。　　If　I　should　be　got　hold　of；　I'll　know

how　to　keep　silentno　matter　what　they　may　be　pleased　to　do　to　me；〃

he　added　grimly。



He　began　to　walk　again　while　Razumov　sat　still　appalled。



〃You　thought　that〃　he　faltered　out　almost　sick　with　indignation。



〃Yes；　Razumov。　　Yes；　brother。　　Some　day　you　shall　help　to　build。

You　suppose　that　I　am　a　terrorist；　now　a　destructor　of　what　is；

But　consider　that　the　true　destroyers　are　they　who　destroy　the

spirit　of　progress　and　truth；　not　the　avengers　who　merely　kill

the　bodies　of　the　persecutors　of　human　dignity。　　Men　like　me　are

necessary　to　make　room　for　self…contained；　thinking　men　like　you。

Well；　we　have　made　the　sacrifice　of　our　lives；　but　all　the　same　I

want　to　escape　if　it　can　be　done。　　It　is　not　my　life　I　want　to

save；　but　my　power　to　do。　　I　won't　live　idle。　　Oh　no！　　Don't　make

any　mistake；　Razumov。　　Men　like　me　are　rare。　　And；　besides；　an

example　like　this　is　more　awful　to　oppressors　when　the

perpetrator　vanishes　without　a　trace。　　They　sit　in　their　offices

and　palaces　and　quake。　　All　I　want　you　to　do　is　to　help　me　to

vanish。　No　great　matter　that。　　Only　to　go　by　and　by　and　see

Ziemianitch　for　me　at　that　place　where　I　went　this　morning。

Just　tell　him；　'He　whom　you　know　wants　a　well…horsed　sledge

to　pull　up　half　an　hour　after　midnight　at　the　seventh

lamp…post　on　the　left　counting　from　the　upper　end　of

Karabelnaya。　　If　nobody　gets　in；　the　sledge　is　to　run

round　a　block　or　two；　so　as　to　come　back　past　the

same　spot　in　ten　minutes'　time。'〃



Razumov　wondered　why　he　had　not　cut　short　that　talk　and　told　this

man　to　go　away　long　before。　　Was　it　weakness　or　what？



He　concluded　that　it　was　a　sound　instinct。　　Haldin　must　have　been

seen。　　It　was　impossible　that　some　people　should　not　have　noticed

the　face　and　appearance　of　the　man　who　threw　the　second　bomb。

Haldin　was　a　noticeable　person。　　The　police　in　their　thousands

must　have　had　his　description　within　the　hour。　　With　every　moment

the　danger　grew。　　Sent　out　to　wander　in　the　streets　he　could　not

escape　being　caught　in　the　end。



The　police　would　very　soon　find　out　all　about　him。　They　would　set

about　discovering　a　conspiracy。　　Everybody　Haldin　had　ever　known

would　be　in　the　greatest　danger。　　Unguarded　expressions；　little

facts　in　themselves　innocent　would　be　counted　for　crimes。

Razumov　remembered　certain　words　he　said；　the　speeches　he　had

listened　to；　the　harmless　gatherings　he　had　attendedit　was

almost　impossible　for　a　student　to　keep　out　of　that　sort　of

thing；　without　becoming　suspect　to　his　comrades。



Razumov　saw　himself　shut　up　in　a　fortress；　worried；　badgered；

perhaps　ill…used。　　He　saw　himself　deported　by　an　administrative

order；　his　life　broken；　ruined；　and　robbed　of　all　hope。　　He　saw

himselfat　bestleading　a　miserable　existence　under　police

supervision；　in　some　small；　faraway　provincial　town；　without

friends　to　assist　his　necessities　or　even　take　any　steps　to

alleviate　his　lotas　others　had。　　Others　had　fathers；　mothers；

brothers；　relations；　connexions；　to　move　heaven　and　earth　on

their　behalf　he　had　no　one。　The　very　officials　that　sentenced

him　some　morning　would　forget　his　existence　before　sunset。



He　saw　his　youth　pass　away　from　him　in　misery　and　half

starvationhis　strength　give　way；　his　mind　become　an　abject

thing。　　He　saw　himself　creeping；　broken　down　and　shabby；　about

the　streetsdying　unattended　in　some　filthy　hole　of　a　room；　or

on　the　sordid　bed　of　a　Government　hospital。



He　shuddered。　Then　the　peace　of　bitter　calmness　came　over　him。

It　was　best　to　keep　this　man　out　of　the　streets　till　he　could　be

got　rid　of　with　some　chance　of　escaping。　　That　was　the　best　that

could　be　done。　Razumov；　of　course；　felt　the　safety　of　his　lonely

existence　to　be　permanently　endangered。　　This　evening's　doings

could　turn　up　against　him　at　any　time　as　long　as　this　man　lived

and　the　present　institutions　endured。　　They　appeared　to　him

rational　and　indestructible　at　that　moment。　　They　had　a　force　of

harmonyin　contrast　with　the　horrible　discord　of　this　man's

presence。　　He　hated　the　man。　　He　said　quietly



〃Yes；　of　course；　I　will　go。　　'You　must　give　me　precise

directions；　and　for　the　restdepend　on　me。〃



〃Ah！　You　are　a　fellow！　　Collectedcool　as　a　cucumber。　　A　regular

Englishman。　　Where　did　you　get　your　soul　from？　　There　aren't

many　like　you。　　Look　here；　brother！　　Men　like　me　leave　no

posterity；　but　their　souls　are　not　lost。　　No　man's　soul　is　ever

lost。　　It　works　for　itselfor　else　where　would　be　the　sense　of

self…sacrifice；　of　martyrdom；　of　conviction；　of　faiththe

labours　of　the　soul？　　What　will　become　of　my　soul　when　I　die　in

the　way　I　must　diesoonvery　soon　perhaps？　It　shall　not　perish。

Don't　make　a　mistake；　Razumov。　　This　is　not　murderit　is

war；　war。　　My　spirit　shall　go　on　warring　in　some　Russian　body

till　all　falsehood　is　swept　out　of　the　world。　　The　modern

civilization　is　false；　but　a　new　revelation　shall　come　out　of

Russia。　　Ha！　you　say　nothing。　You　are　a　sceptic。　　I　respect　your

philosophical　scepticism；　Razumov；　but　don't　touch　the　soul。　　The

Russian　soul　that　lives　in　all　of　us。　　It　has　a　future。　　It　has　a

mission；　I　tell　you；　or　else　why　should　I　have　been　moved　to

do　thisreckless…like　a　butcher　in　the　middle　of　all　these

innocent　peoplescattering　deathI！　　I！。　。　。I　wouldn't　hurt　a　fly！〃



〃Not　so　loud；〃　warned　Razumov　harshly。



Haldin　sat　down　abruptly；　and　leaning　his　head　on　his　folded　arms

burst　into　tears。　　He　wept　for　a　long　time。　　The　dusk　had

deepened　in　the　room。　　Razumov；　motionless　in　sombre　wonder；

listened　to　the　sobs。



The　other　raised　his　head；　got　up　and　with　an　effort　mastered　his　voice。



〃Yes。　　Men　like　me　leave　no　posterity；〃　　he　repeated　in　a

subdued　tone。〃　　I　have　a　sister　though。　　She's　with　my　old

motherI　persuaded　them　to　go　abroad　this　yearthank　God。

Not　a　bad　little　girl　my　sister。　　She　has　the　most　trustful　eyes　of

any　human　being　that　ever　walked　this　earth。　　She　will　marry

well；　I　hope。　　She　may　have　childrensons　perhaps。　　Look　at　me。

My　father　was　a　Government　official　in　the　provinces；　　He　had　a

little　land　too。　　A　simple　servant　of　Goda　true　Russian　in　his

way。　　His　was　the　soul　of　obedience。　But　I　am　not　like　him。　　They

say　I　resemble　my　mother's　eldest　brother；　an　officer。　　They　shot

him　in　'28。　　Under　Nicholas；　you　know。　　Haven't　I　to