太子爷小说网 > 英语电子书 > mudfog+ >

第5节

mudfog+-第5节

小说: mudfog+ 字数: 每页4000字

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页,按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页,按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部!
————未阅读完?加入书签已便下次继续阅读!




unpopularity and hastened his downfall。



At the very end of the Mudfog High…street; and abutting on the

river…side; stands the Jolly Boatmen; an old…fashioned low…roofed;

bay…windowed house; with a bar; kitchen; and tap…room all in one;

and a large fireplace with a kettle to correspond; round which the

working men have congregated time out of mind on a winter's night;

refreshed by draughts of good strong beer; and cheered by the

sounds of a fiddle and tambourine:  the Jolly Boatmen having been

duly licensed by the Mayor and corporation; to scrape the fiddle

and thumb the tambourine from time; whereof the memory of the

oldest inhabitants goeth not to the contrary。  Now Nicholas

Tulrumble had been reading pamphlets on crime; and parliamentary

reports; … or had made the secretary read them to him; which is the

same thing in effect; … and he at once perceived that this fiddle

and tambourine must have done more to demoralize Mudfog; than any

other operating causes that ingenuity could imagine。  So he read up

for the subject; and determined to come out on the corporation with

a burst; the very next time the licence was applied for。



The licensing day came; and the red…faced landlord of the Jolly

Boatmen walked into the town…hall; looking as jolly as need be;

having actually put on an extra fiddle for that night; to

commemorate the anniversary of the Jolly Boatmen's music licence。

It was applied for in due form; and was just about to be granted as

a matter of course; when up rose Nicholas Tulrumble; and drowned

the astonished corporation in a torrent of eloquence。  He descanted

in glowing terms upon the increasing depravity of his native town

of Mudfog; and the excesses committed by its population。  Then; he

related how shocked he had been; to see barrels of beer sliding

down into the cellar of the Jolly Boatmen week after week; and how

he had sat at a window opposite the Jolly Boatmen for two days

together; to count the people who went in for beer between the

hours of twelve and one o'clock alone … which; by…the…bye; was the

time at which the great majority of the Mudfog people dined。  Then;

he went on to state; how the number of people who came out with

beer…jugs; averaged twenty…one in five minutes; which; being

multiplied by twelve; gave two hundred and fifty…two people with

beer…jugs in an hour; and multiplied again by fifteen (the number

of hours during which the house was open daily) yielded three

thousand seven hundred and eighty people with beer…jugs per day; or

twenty…six thousand four hundred and sixty people with beer…jugs;

per week。  Then he proceeded to show that a tambourine and moral

degradation were synonymous terms; and a fiddle and vicious

propensities wholly inseparable。  All these arguments he

strengthened and demonstrated by frequent references to a large

book with a blue cover; and sundry quotations from the Middlesex

magistrates; and in the end; the corporation; who were posed with

the figures; and sleepy with the speech; and sadly in want of

dinner into the bargain; yielded the palm to Nicholas Tulrumble;

and refused the music licence to the Jolly Boatmen。



But although Nicholas triumphed; his triumph was short。  He carried

on the war against beer…jugs and fiddles; forgetting the time when

he was glad to drink out of the one; and to dance to the other;

till the people hated; and his old friends shunned him。  He grew

tired of the lonely magnificence of Mudfog Hall; and his heart

yearned towards the Lighterman's Arms。  He wished he had never set

up as a public man; and sighed for the good old times of the coal…

shop; and the chimney corner。



At length old Nicholas; being thoroughly miserable; took heart of

grace; paid the secretary a quarter's wages in advance; and packed

him off to London by the next coach。  Having taken this step; he

put his hat on his head; and his pride in his pocket; and walked

down to the old room at the Lighterman's Arms。  There were only two

of the old fellows there; and they looked coldly on Nicholas as he

proffered his hand。



'Are you going to put down pipes; Mr。 Tulrumble?' said one。



'Or trace the progress of crime to 'bacca?' growled another。



'Neither;' replied Nicholas Tulrumble; shaking hands with them

both; whether they would or not。  'I've come down to say that I'm

very sorry for having made a fool of myself; and that I hope you'll

give me up the old chair; again。'



The old fellows opened their eyes; and three or four more old

fellows opened the door; to whom Nicholas; with tears in his eyes;

thrust out his hand too; and told the same story。  They raised a

shout of joy; that made the bells in the ancient church…tower

vibrate again; and wheeling the old chair into the warm corner;

thrust old Nicholas down into it; and ordered in the very largest…

sized bowl of hot punch; with an unlimited number of pipes;

directly。



The next day; the Jolly Boatmen got the licence; and the next

night; old Nicholas and Ned Twigger's wife led off a dance to the

music of the fiddle and tambourine; the tone of which seemed

mightily improved by a little rest; for they never had played so

merrily before。  Ned Twigger was in the very height of his glory;

and he danced hornpipes; and balanced chairs on his chin; and

straws on his nose; till the whole company; including the

corporation; were in raptures of admiration at the brilliancy of

his acquirements。



Mr。 Tulrumble; junior; couldn't make up his mind to be anything but

magnificent; so he went up to London and drew bills on his father;

and when he had overdrawn; and got into debt; he grew penitent; and

came home again。



As to old Nicholas; he kept his word; and having had six weeks of

public life; never tried it any more。  He went to sleep in the

town…hall at the very next meeting; and; in full proof of his

sincerity; has requested us to write this faithful narrative。  We

wish it could have the effect of reminding the Tulrumbles of

another sphere; that puffed…up conceit is not dignity; and that

snarling at the little pleasures they were once glad to enjoy;

because they would rather forget the times when they were of lower

station; renders them objects of contempt and ridicule。



This is the first time we have published any of our gleanings from

this particular source。  Perhaps; at some future period; we may

venture to open the chronicles of Mudfog。







FULL REPORT OF THE FIRST MEETING OF THE MUDFOG ASSOCIATION

FOR THE ADVANCEMENT OF EVERYTHING







We have made the most unparalleled and extraordinary exertions to

place before our readers a complete and accurate account of the

proceedings at the late grand meeting of the Mudfog Association;

holden in the town of Mudfog; it affords us great happiness to lay

the result before them; in the shape of various communications

received from our able; talented; and graphic correspondent;

expressly sent down for the purpose; who has immortalized us;

himself; Mudfog; and the association; all at one and the same time。

We have been; indeed; for some days unable to determine who will

transmit the greatest name to posterity; ourselves; who sent our

correspondent down; our correspondent; who wrote an account of the

matter; or the association; who gave our correspondent something to

write about。  We rather incline to the opinion that we are the

greatest man of the party; inasmuch as the notion of an exclusive

and authentic report originated with us; this may be prejudice:  it

may arise from a prepossession on our part in our own favour。  Be

it so。  We have no doubt that every gentleman concerned in this

mighty assemblage is troubled with the same complaint in a greater

or less degree; and it is a consolation to us to know that we have

at least this feeling in common with the great scientific stars;

the brilliant and extraordinary luminaries; whose speculations we

record。



We give our correspondent's letters in the order in which they

reached us。  Any attempt at amalgamating them into one beautiful

whole; would only destroy that glowing tone; that dash of wildness;

and rich vein of picturesque interest; which pervade them

throughout。



'MUDFOG; MONDAY NIGHT; SEVEN O'CLOCK。



'We are in a state of great excitement here。  Nothing is spoken of;

but the approaching meeting of the association。  The inn…doors are

thronged with waiters anxiously looking for the expected arrivals;

and the numerous bills which are wafered up in the windows of

private houses; intimating that there are beds to let within; give

the streets a very animated and cheerful appearance; the wafers

being of a great variety of colours; and the monotony of printed

inscriptions being relieved by every possible size and style of

hand…writing。  It is confidently rumoured that Professors Snore;

Doze; and Wheezy have engaged three beds and a sitting…room at the

Pig and Tinder…box。  I give you the 

返回目录 上一页 下一页 回到顶部 0 0

你可能喜欢的