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immeasurable superiority; and intense remarkability of our account

of its proceedings。  In redemption of this pledge; we caused to be

despatched per steam to Oldcastle (at which place this second

meeting of the Society was held on the 20th instant); the same

superhumanly…endowed gentleman who furnished the former report; and

who; … gifted by nature with transcendent abilities; and furnished

by us with a body of assistants scarcely inferior to himself; … has

forwarded a series of letters; which; for faithfulness of

description; power of language; fervour of thought; happiness of

expression; and importance of subject…matter; have no equal in the

epistolary literature of any age or country。  We give this

gentleman's correspondence entire; and in the order in which it

reached our office。



'SALOON OF STEAMER; THURSDAY NIGHT; HALF…PAST EIGHT。



'When I left New Burlington Street this evening in the hackney

cabriolet; number four thousand two hundred and eighty…five; I

experienced sensations as novel as they were oppressive。  A sense

of the importance of the task I had undertaken; a consciousness

that I was leaving London; and; stranger still; going somewhere

else; a feeling of loneliness and a sensation of jolting; quite

bewildered my thoughts; and for a time rendered me even insensible

to the presence of my carpet…bag and hat…box。  I shall ever feel

grateful to the driver of a Blackwall omnibus who; by thrusting the

pole of his vehicle through the small door of the cabriolet;

awakened me from a tumult of imaginings that are wholly

indescribable。  But of such materials is our imperfect nature

composed!



'I am happy to say that I am the first passenger on board; and

shall thus be enabled to give you an account of all that happens in

the order of its occurrence。  The chimney is smoking a good deal;

and so are the crew; and the captain; I am informed; is very drunk

in a little house upon deck; something like a black turnpike。  I

should infer from all I hear that he has got the steam up。



'You will readily guess with what feelings I have just made the

discovery that my berth is in the same closet with those engaged by

Professor Woodensconce; Mr。 Slug; and Professor Grime。  Professor

Woodensconce has taken the shelf above me; and Mr。 Slug and

Professor Grime the two shelves opposite。  Their luggage has

already arrived。  On Mr。 Slug's bed is a long tin tube of about

three inches in diameter; carefully closed at both ends。  What can

this contain?  Some powerful instrument of a new construction;

doubtless。'



'TEN MINUTES PAST NINE。



'Nobody has yet arrived; nor has anything fresh come in my way

except several joints of beef and mutton; from which I conclude

that a good plain dinner has been provided for to…morrow。  There is

a singular smell below; which gave me some uneasiness at first; but

as the steward says it is always there; and never goes away; I am

quite comfortable again。  I learn from this man that the different

sections will be distributed at the Black Boy and Stomach…ache; and

the Boot…jack and Countenance。  If this intelligence be true (and I

have no reason to doubt it); your readers will draw such

conclusions as their different opinions may suggest。



'I write down these remarks as they occur to me; or as the facts

come to my knowledge; in order that my first impressions may lose

nothing of their original vividness。  I shall despatch them in

small packets as opportunities arise。'



'HALF PAST NINE。



'Some dark object has just appeared upon the wharf。  I think it is

a travelling carriage。'



'A QUARTER TO TEN。



'No; it isn't。'



'HALF…PAST TEN。



The passengers are pouring in every instant。  Four omnibuses full

have just arrived upon the wharf; and all is bustle and activity。

The noise and confusion are very great。  Cloths are laid in the

cabins; and the steward is placing blue plates … full of knobs of

cheese at equal distances down the centre of the tables。  He drops

a great many knobs; but; being used to it; picks them up again with

great dexterity; and; after wiping them on his sleeve; throws them

back into the plates。  He is a young man of exceedingly

prepossessing appearance … either dirty or a mulatto; but I think

the former。



'An interesting old gentleman; who came to the wharf in an omnibus;

has just quarrelled violently with the porters; and is staggering

towards the vessel with a large trunk in his arms。  I trust and

hope that he may reach it in safety; but the board he has to cross

is narrow and slippery。  Was that a splash?  Gracious powers!



'I have just returned from the deck。  The trunk is standing upon

the extreme brink of the wharf; but the old gentleman is nowhere to

be seen。  The watchman is not sure whether he went down or not; but

promises to drag for him the first thing to…morrow morning。  May

his humane efforts prove successful!



'Professor Nogo has this moment arrived with his nightcap on under

his hat。  He has ordered a glass of cold brandy and water; with a

hard biscuit and a basin; and has gone straight to bed。  What can

this mean?



'The three other scientific gentlemen to whom I have already

alluded have come on board; and have all tried their beds; with the

exception of Professor Woodensconce; who sleeps in one of the top

ones; and can't get into it。  Mr。 Slug; who sleeps in the other top

one; is unable to get out of his; and is to have his supper handed

up by a boy。  I have had the honour to introduce myself to these

gentlemen; and we have amicably arranged the order in which we

shall retire to rest; which it is necessary to agree upon; because;

although the cabin is very comfortable; there is not room for more

than one gentleman to be out of bed at a time; and even he must

take his boots off in the passage。



'As I anticipated; the knobs of cheese were provided for the

passengers' supper; and are now in course of consumption。  Your

readers will be surprised to hear that Professor Woodensconce has

abstained from cheese for eight years; although he takes butter in

considerable quantities。  Professor Grime having lost several

teeth; is unable; I observe; to eat his crusts without previously

soaking them in his bottled porter。  How interesting are these

peculiarities!'



'HALF…PAST ELEVEN。



'Professors Woodensconce and Grime; with a degree of good humour

that delights us all; have just arranged to toss for a bottle of

mulled port。  There has been some discussion whether the payment

should be decided by the first toss or the best out of three。

Eventually the latter course has been determined on。  Deeply do I

wish that both gentlemen could win; but that being impossible; I

own that my personal aspirations (I speak as an individual; and do

not compromise either you or your readers by this expression of

feeling) are with Professor Woodensconce。  I have backed that

gentleman to the amount of eighteenpence。'



'TWENTY MINUTES TO TWELVE。



'Professor Grime has inadvertently tossed his half…crown out of one

of the cabin…windows; and it has been arranged that the steward

shall toss for him。  Bets are offered on any side to any amount;

but there are no takers。



'Professor Woodensconce has just called 〃woman;〃 but the coin

having lodged in a beam; is a long time coming down again。  The

interest and suspense of this one moment are beyond anything that

can be imagined。'



'TWELVE O'CLOCK。



'The mulled port is smoking on the table before me; and Professor

Grime has won。  Tossing is a game of chance; but on every ground;

whether of public or private character; intellectual endowments; or

scientific attainments; I cannot help expressing my opinion that

Professor Woodensconce OUGHT to have come off victorious。  There is

an exultation about Professor Grime incompatible; I fear; with true

greatness。'



'A QUARTER PAST TWELVE。



'Professor Grime continues to exult; and to boast of his victory in

no very measured terms; observing that he always does win; and that

he knew it would be a 〃head〃 beforehand; with many other remarks of

a similar nature。  Surely this gentleman is not so lost to every

feeling of decency and propriety as not to feel and know the

superiority of Professor Woodensconce?  Is Professor Grime insane?

or does he wish to be reminded in plain language of his true

position in society; and the precise level of his acquirements and

abilities?  Professor Grime will do well to look to this。'



'ONE O'CLOCK。



'I am writing in bed。  The small cabin is illuminated by the feeble

light of a flickering lamp suspended from the ceiling; Professor

Grime is lying on the opposite shelf on the broad of his back; with

his mouth wide open。  The scene is indescribably solemn。  The

rippling of the tide; the noise of the sailors' feet overhead; the

gruff voices on the river; the dogs on the shore; the snoring of

the passe

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