a second home-第15节

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f　our　disaster。To　yield　to　our　caprices；　to　guess　them；　to　find　pleasure　in　pain；　to　sacrifice　the　world's　opinion；　your　pride；　your　religion　even；　and　still　regard　these　offerings　as　mere　grains　of　incense　burnt　in　honor　of　the　idolthat　is　love〃

〃The　love　of　ballet…girls！〃　cried　the　Countess　in　horror。　〃Such　flames　cannot　last；　and　must　soon　leave　nothing　but　ashes　and　cinders；　regret　or　despair。　A　wife　ought；　in　my　opinion；　to　bring　you　true　friendship；　equable　warmth〃

〃You　speak　of　warmth　as　negroes　speak　of　ice；〃　retorted　the　Count；　with　a　sardonic　smile。　〃Consider　that　the　humblest　daisy　has　more　charms　than　the　proudest　and　most　gorgeous　of　the　red　hawthorns　that　attract　us　in　spring　by　their　strong　scent　and　brilliant　color。At　the　same　time；〃　he　went　on；　〃I　will　do　you　justice。　You　have　kept　so　precisely　in　the　straight　path　of　imaginary　duty　prescribed　by　law；　that　only　to　make　you　understand　wherein　you　have　failed　towards　me；　I　should　be　obliged　to　enter　into　details　which　would　offend　your　dignity；　and　instruct　you　in　matters　which　would　seem　to　you　to　undermine　all　morality。〃

〃And　you　dare　to　speak　of　morality　when　you　have　but　just　left　the　house　where　you　have　dissipated　your　children's　fortune　in　debaucheries？〃　cried　the　Countess；　maddened　by　her　husband's　reticence。

〃There；　madame；　I　must　correct　you；〃　said　the　Count；　coolly　interrupting　his　wife。　〃Though　Mademoiselle　de　Bellefeuille　is　rich；　it　is　at　nobody's　expense。　My　uncle　was　master　of　his　fortune；　and　had　several　heirs。　In　his　lifetime；　and　out　of　pure　friendship；　regarding　her　as　his　niece；　he　gave　her　the　little　estate　of　Bellefeuille。　As　for　anything　else；　I　owe　it　to　his　liberality〃

〃Such　conduct　is　only　worthy　of　a　Jacobin！〃　said　the　sanctimonious　Angelique。

〃Madame；　you　are　forgetting　that　your　own　father　was　one　of　the　Jacobins　whom　you　scorn　so　uncharitably；〃　said　the　Count　severely。　〃Citizen　Bontems　was　signing　death…warrants　at　a　time　when　my　uncle　was　doing　France　good　service。〃

Madame　de　Granville　was　silenced。　But　after　a　short　pause；　the　remembrance　of　what　she　had　just　seen　reawakened　in　her　soul　the　jealousy　which　nothing　can　kill　in　a　woman's　heart；　and　she　murmured；　as　if　to　herself〃How　can　a　woman　thus　destroy　her　own　soul　and　that　of　others？〃

〃Bless　me；　madame；〃　replied　the　Count；　tired　of　this　dialogue；　〃you　yourself　may　some　day　have　to　answer　that　question。〃　The　Countess　was　scared。　〃You　perhaps　will　be　held　excused　by　the　merciful　Judge；　who　will　weigh　our　sins；〃　he　went　on；　〃in　consideration　of　the　conviction　with　which　you　have　worked　out　my　misery。　I　do　not　hate　youI　hate　those　who　have　perverted　your　heart　and　your　reason。　You　have　prayed　for　me；　just　as　Mademoiselle　de　Bellefeuille　has　given　me　her　heart　and　crowned　my　life　with　love。　You　should　have　been　my　mistress　and　the　prayerful　saint　by　turns。Do　me　the　justice　to　confess　that　I　am　no　reprobate；　no　debauchee。　My　life　was　cleanly。　Alas！　after　seven　years　of　wretchedness；　the　craving　for　happiness　led　me　by　an　imperceptible　descent　to　love　another　woman　and　make　a　second　home。　And　do　not　imagine　that　I　am　singular；　there　are　in　this　city　thousands　of　husbands；　all　led　by　various　causes　to　live　this　twofold　life。〃

〃Great　God！〃　cried　the　Countess。　〃How　heavy　is　the　cross　Thou　hast　laid　on　me　to　bear！　If　the　husband　Thou　hast　given　me　here　below　in　Thy　wrath　can　only　be　made　happy　through　my　death；　take　me　to　Thyself！〃

〃If　you　had　always　breathed　such　admirable　sentiments　and　such　devotion；　we　should　be　happy　yet；〃　said　the　Count　coldly。

〃Indeed；〃　cried　Angelique；　melting　into　a　flood　of　tears；　〃forgive　me　if　I　have　done　any　wrong。　Yes；　monsieur；　I　am　ready　to　obey　you　in　all　things；　feeling　sure　that　you　will　desire　nothing　but　what　is　just　and　natural；　henceforth　I　will　be　all　you　can　wish　your　wife　to　be。〃

〃If　your　purpose；　madame；　is　to　compel　me　to　say　that　I　no　longer　love　you；　I　shall　find　the　cruel　courage　to　tell　you　so。　Can　I　command　my　heart？　Can　I　wipe　out　in　an　instant　the　traces　of　fifteen　years　of　suffering？I　have　ceased　to　love。These　words　contain　a　mystery　as　deep　as　lies　the　words　/I　love/。　Esteem；　respect；　friendship　may　be　won；　lost；　regained；　but　as　to　loveI　might　school　myself　for　a　thousand　years；　and　it　would　not　blossom　again；　especially　for　a　woman　too　old　to　respond　to　it。〃

〃I　hope；　Monsieur　le　Comte；　I　sincerely　hope；　that　such　words　may　not　be　spoken　to　you　some　day　by　the　woman　you　love；　and　in　such　a　tone　and　accent〃

〃Will　you　put　on　a　dress　/a　la　Grecque/　this　evening；　and　come　to　the　Opera？〃

The　shudder　with　which　the　Countess　received　the　suggestion　was　a　mute　reply。



Early　in　December　1833；　a　man；　whose　perfectly　white　hair　and　worn　features　seemed　to　show　that　he　was　aged　by　grief　rather　than　by　years；　was　walking　at　midnight　along　the　Rue　Gaillon。　Having　reached　a　house　of　modest　appearance；　and　only　two　stories　high；　he　paused　to　look　up　at　one　of　the　attic　windows　that　pierced　the　roof　at　regular　intervals。　A　dim　light　scarcely　showed　through　the　humble　panes；　some　of　which　had　been　repaired　with　paper。　The　man　below　was　watching　the　wavering　glimmer　with　the　vague　curiosity　of　a　Paris　idler；　when　a　young　man　came　out　of　the　house。　As　the　light　of　the　street　lamp　fell　full　on　the　face　of　the　first　comer；　it　will　not　seem　surprising　that；　in　spite　of　the　darkness；　this　young　man　went　towards　the　passer…by；　though　with　the　hesitancy　that　is　usual　when　we　have　any　fear　of　making　a　mistake　in　recognizing　an　acquaintance。

〃What；　is　it　you；〃　cried　he；　〃Monsieur　le　President？　Alone　at　this　hour；　and　so　far　from　the　Rue　Saint…Lazare。　Allow　me　to　have　the　honor　of　giving　you　my　arm。The　pavement　is　so　greasy　this　morning；　that　if　we　do　not　hold　each　other　up；〃　he　added；　to　soothe　the　elder　man's　susceptibilities；　〃we　shall　find　it　hard　to　escape　a　tumble。〃

〃But；　my　dear　sir；　I　am　no　more　than　fifty…five；　unfortunately　for　me；〃　replied　the　Comte　de　Granville。　〃A　physician　of　your　celebrity　must　know　that　at　that　age　a　man　is　still　hale　and　strong。〃

〃Then　you　are　in　waiting　on　a　lady；　I　suppose；〃　replied　Horace　Bianchon。　〃You　are　not；　I　imagine；　in　the　habit　of　going　about　Paris　on　foot。　When　a　man　keeps　such　fine　horses〃

〃Still；　when　I　am　not　visiting　in　the　evening；　I　commonly　return　from　the　Courts　or　the　club　on　foot；〃　replied　the　Count。

〃And　with　large　sums　of　money　about　you；　perhaps！〃　cried　the　doctor。　〃It　is　a　positive　invitation　to　the　assassin's　knife。〃

〃I　am　not　afraid　of　that；〃　said　Granville；　with　melancholy　indifference。

〃But；　at　least；　do　not　stand　about；〃　said　the　doctor；　leading　the　Count　towards　the　boulevard。　〃A　little　more　and　I　shall　believe　that　you　are　bent　of　robbing　me　of　your　last　illness；　and　dying　by　some　other　hand　than　mine。〃

〃You　caught　me　playing　the　spy；〃　said　the　Count。　〃Whether　on　foot　or　in　a　carriage；　and　at　whatever　hour　of　the　night　I　may　come　by；　I　have　for　some　time　past　observed　at　a　window　on　the　third　floor　of　your　house　the　shadow　of　a　person　who　seems　to　work　with　heroic　constancy。〃

The　Count　paused　as　if　he　felt　some　sudden　pain。　〃And　I　take　as　great　an　interest　in　that　garret；〃　he　went　on；　〃as　a　citizen　of　Paris　must　feel　in　the　finishing　of　the　Palais　Royal。〃

〃Well；〃　said　Horace　Bianchon　eagerly；　〃I　can　tell　you〃

〃Tell　me　nothing；〃　replied　Granville；　cutting　the　doctor　short。　〃I　would　not　give　a　centime　to　know　whether　the　shadow　that　moves　across　that　shabby　blind　is　that　of　a　man　or　a　woman；　nor　whether　the　inhabitant　of　that　attic　is　happy　or　miserable。　Though　I　was　surprised　to　see　no　one　at　work　there　this　evening；　and　though　I　stopped　to　look；　it　was　solely　for　the　pleasure　of　indulging　in　conjectures　as　numerous　and　as　idiotic　as　those　of　idlers　who　see　a　building　left　half　finished。　For　nine　years；　my　young〃　the　Count　hesitated　to　use　a　word；　then　he　waved　his　hand；　exclaiming〃No；　I　will　not　say　friend　I　hate　everything　that　savors　of　sentiment。Well；　for　nine　years　past　I　have　ceased　to　wonder　that　old　men　amuse　themselves　with　growing　flowers　and　planting　trees；　the　events　of　life　have　taught　them　disbelief　in　all　human　affection；　and　I　grew　old　within　a　few　days。　I　will　no　longer　attach　myself　to　any　creature　but　to　unreasoning　animals；　or　plants；　or　superficial　things。　I　think　more　of　Taglioni's　grace　than　of　all　human　feeling。　I　abhor　life　and　the　world　in　which　I　live　alone。　Nothing；　nothing；〃　he　went　on；　in　a　tone　that　startled　the　younger　man；　〃no；　nothing　can　move　or　interest　me。〃

〃But　you　have　children？〃

〃My　children！〃　he　repeated　bitterly。　〃Yeswell；　is　not　my　eldest　daughter　the　Comtesse　de　Vandenesse？　The　other　will；　through　her　sister's　connections；　make　some　good　match。　As　to　my　sons；　have　they　not　succeeded？　The　Viscount　was　public　prosecutor　at　Limoges；　and　is　now　President　of　the　Court　at　Orleans；　the　younger　is　public　prosecutor　in　Paris。My　children　have　their　own　cares；　their　own　anxieties　and　business　to　attend　to。　If　of　all　those　hearts　one　had　been　devoted　to　me；　if　one　had　tried　by　entire　affection　to　fill　up　the　void　I　have　here；〃　and　he　struck　his　breast；　〃well；　that　one　would　have　failed　in　life；　have　sacrificed　it　to　me。　And　why　should　he？　Why？　To　bring　sunshine　into　my　few　remaining　yearsa