dream life and real life(梦境与现实)-第4节
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about seventeen； fair； and rather fully…fleshed； she had large dreamy blue
eyes； and wavy light hair； full； rather heavy lips； until she smiled； then her
face broke into dimples； and all her white teeth shone。 The hotel…keeper
may have had a daughter； and the farmer in the outskirts had two； but we
never saw them。 She reigned alone。 All the men worshipped her。 She
was the only woman they had to think of。 They talked of her on the
stoep； at the market； at the hotel； they watched for her at street corners；
they hated the man she bowed to or walked with down the street。 They
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brought flowers to the front door； they offered her their horses； they
begged her to marry them when they dared。 Partly； there was something
noble and heroic in this devotion of men to the best woman they knew；
partly there was something natural in it； that these men； shut off from the
world； should pour at the feet of one woman the worship that otherwise
would have been given to twenty； and partly there was something mean in
their envy of one another。 If she had raised her little finger； I suppose；
she might have married any one out of twenty of them。
Then I came。 I do not think I was prettier； I do not think I was so
pretty as she was。 I was certainly not as handsome。 But I was vital； and
I was new； and she was oldthey all forsook her and followed me。 They
worshipped me。 It was to my door that the flowers came； it was I had
twenty horses offered me when I could only ride one； it was for me they
waited at street corners； it was what I said and did that they talked of。
Partly I liked it。 I had lived alone all my life； no one ever had told me I
was beautiful and a woman。 I believed them。 I did not know it was
simply a fashion； which one man had set and the rest followed
unreasoningly。 I liked them to ask me to marry them； and to say； No。 I
despised them。 The mother heart had not swelled in me yet； I did not
know all men were my children； as the large woman knows when her heart
is grown。 I was too small to be tender。 I liked my power。 I was like a
child with a new whip； which it goes about cracking everywhere； not
caring against what。 I could not wind it up and put it away。 Men were
curious creatures； who liked me； I could never tell why。 Only one thing
took from my pleasure； I could not bear that they had deserted her for me。
I liked her great dreamy blue eyes； I liked her slow walk and drawl； when
I saw her sitting among men； she seemed to me much too good to be
among them； I would have given all their compliments if she would once
have smiled at me as she smiled at them； with all her face breaking into
radiance； with her dimples and flashing teeth。 But I knew it never could
be； I felt sure she hated me； that she wished I was dead； that she wished I
had never come to the village。 She did not know； when we went out
riding； and a man who had always ridden beside her came to ride beside
me； that I sent him away； that once when a man thought to win my favour
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by ridiculing her slow drawl before me I turned on him so fiercely that he
never dared come before me again。 I knew she knew that at the hotel
men had made a bet as to which was the prettier； she or I； and had asked
each man who came in； and that the one who had staked on me won。 I
hated them for it； but I would not let her see that I cared about what she
felt towards me。
She and I never spoke to each other。
If we met in the village street we bowed and passed on； when we
shook hands we did so silently； and did not look at each other。 But I
thought she felt my presence in a room just as I felt hers。
At last the time for my going came。 I was to leave the next day。
Some one I knew gave a party in my honour； to which all the village was
invited。
It was midwinter。 There was nothing in the gardens but a few dahlias
and chrysanthemums； and I suppose that for two hundred miles round
there was not a rose to be bought for love or money。 Only in the garden
of a friend of mine； in a sunny corner between the oven and the brick wall；
there was a rose tree growing which had on it one bud。 It was white； and
it had been promised to the fair haired girl to wear at the party。
The evening came； when I arrived and went to the waiting…room； to
take off my mantle； I found the girl there already。 She was dressed in
pure white； with her great white arms and shoulders showing； and her
bright hair glittering in the candle…light； and the white rose fastened at her
breast。 She looked like a queen。 I said 〃Good…evening；〃 and turned away
quickly to the glass to arrange my old black scarf across my old black
dress。
Then I felt a hand touch my hair。
〃Stand still；〃 she said。
I looked in the glass。 She had taken the white rose from her breast；
and was fastening it in my hair。
〃How nice dark hair is； it sets off flowers so。〃 She stepped back and
looked at me。 〃It looks much better there！〃
I turned round。
〃You are so beautiful to me；〃 I said。
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〃Y…e…s；〃 she said； with her slow Colonial drawl； 〃I'm so glad。〃
We stood looking at each other。
Then they came in and swept us away to dance。 All the evening we
did not come near to each other。 Only once； as she passed； she smiled at
me。
The next morning I left the town。
I never saw her again。
Years afterwards I heard she had married and gone to America； it may
or may not be sobut the rosethe rose is in the box still！ When my
faith in woman grows dim； and it seems that for want of love and
magnanimity she can play no part in any future heaven； then the scent of
that small withered thing comes back：spring cannot fail us。
Matjesfontein； South Africa。
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Dream Life and Real Life A Little African Story
III。 〃THE POLICY IN FAVOUR
OF PROTECTION〃。
Was it Right？Was it Wrong？
A woman sat at her desk in the corner of a room； behind her a fire
burnt brightly。
Presently a servant came in and gave her a card。
〃Say I am busy and can see no one now。 I have to finish this article
by two o'clock。〃
The servant came back。 The caller said she would only keep her a
moment： it was necessary she should see her。
The woman rose from her desk。 〃Tell the boy to wait。 Ask the lady
to come in。〃
A young woman in a silk dress； with a cloak reaching to her feet；
entered。 She was tall and slight； with fair hair。
〃I knew you would not mind。 I wished to see you so！〃
The woman offered her a seat by the fire。 〃May I loosen your cloak？…
…the room is warm。〃
〃I wanted so to come and see you。 You are the only person in the
world who could help me！ I know you are so large； and generous； and
kind to other women！〃 She sat down。 Tears stood in her large blue eyes：
she was pulling off her little gloves unconsciously。
〃You know Mr。〃 （she mentioned the name of a well…known writer）：
〃I know you meet him often in your work。 I want you to do something
for me！〃
The woman on the hearth…rug looked down at her。
〃I couldn't tell my father or my mother； or any one else； but I can tell
you； though I know so little of you。 You know； last summer he came and
stayed with us
