太子爷小说网 > 英语电子书 > painted windows >

第8节

painted windows-第8节

小说: painted windows 字数: 每页4000字

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页,按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页,按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部!
————未阅读完?加入书签已便下次继续阅读!



to the porch were to be made。 Jagged
pieces of yet unhewn sandstone they
were; with cruel edges。

But to…day when the girls said; 〃Oh;
come!〃 my newly discovered badness
echoed their words。 I wanted to go
with them。 So I went。

Out of the corner of my eye I could
see father in the distance; but I
wouldn't look at him for fear he would
be magnetised into turning my way。
The girls had gone up; and I followed;
with Julie in my arms。 Did I hear
father call to me to stop? He always
said I did; but I think he was mistaken。
Perhaps I merely didn't wish to hear
him。 Anyway; I went on; balancing
myself as best I could。 The other girls
had reached the top; and turned to look
at us; and I knew they were afraid。 I
think they would have held out their
hands to help me; but I had both arms
clasped about Julie。 So I staggered on;
got almost to the top; then seemed sub…
merged beneath a wave of fears  mine
and those of the girls  and fell! As
I went; I curled like a squirrel around
Julie; and when I struck; she was still
in my grasp and on top of me。 But she
rolled out of my relaxing clutch after
that; and when father and mother came
running; she was lying on the stones。
They thought she had fallen that way;
and as the breath had been fairly
knocked out of her little body; so that
she was not crying; they were more
frightened than ever; and ran with her
to the house; wild with apprehension。

As for me; I got up somehow and fol…
owed。 I decided no bones were broken;
but I was dizzy and faint; and aching
from bruises。 I saw my little friends
running down the plank and making off
along the poplar drive; white…faced and
panting。 I knew they thought Julie
was dead and that I'd be hung。 I had
the same idea。

When we got to the sitting…room I
had a strange feeling of never having
seen it before。 The tall stove; the
green and oak ingrain carpet; the green
rep chairs; the what…not with its shells;
the steel engravings on the walls;
seemed absolutely strange。 I sat down
and counted the diamond…shaped figures
on the oilcloth in front of the stove;
and after a long time I heard Julie cry;
and mother say with immeasurable re…
lief:

〃Aside from a shaking up; I don't
believe she's a bit the worse。〃

Then some one brought me a cupful
of cold water and asked me if I was
hurt。 I shook my head and would not
speak。 I then heard; in simple and em…
phatic Anglo…Saxon the opinions of my
father and mother about a girl who
would put her little sister's life in dan…
ger; and would disobey her parents。
And after that I was put in my moth…
er's bedroom to pass the rest of the
day; and was told I needn't expect to
come to the table with the others。

I accepted my fate stoically; and be…
ing permitted to carry my own chair
into the room; I put it by the western
window; which looked across two miles
of meadows waving in buckwheat; in
clover and grass; and sat there in a cu…
rious torpor of spirit。 I was glad to
be alone; for I had discovered a new
idea  the idea of sin。 I wished to be
left to myself till I could think out what
it meant。 I believed I could do that by
night; and; after I had got to the root
of the matter; I could cast the whole
ugly thing out of my soul and be good
all the rest of my life。

There was a large upholstered chair
standing in front of me; and I put my
head down on the seat of that and
thought and thought。 My thoughts
reached so far that I grew frightened;
and I was relieved when I felt the little
soft grey veils drawing about me which
I knew meant sleep。 It seemed to me
that I really ought to weep  that the
circumstances were such that I should
weep。 But sleep was sweeter than
tears; and not only the pain in my mind
but the jar and bruise of my body
seemed to demand that oblivion。 So I
gave way to the impulse; and the grey
veils wrapped around and around me
as a spider's web enwraps a fly。 And
for hours I knew nothing。

When I awoke it was the close of day。
Long tender shadows lay across the
fields; the sky had that wonderful clear…
ness and kindness which is like a hu…
man eye; and the soft wind puffing in
at the window was sweet with field
fragrance。 A glass of milk and a plate
with two slices of bread lay on the win…
dow sill by me; as if some one had
placed them there from the outside。 I
could hear birds settling down for the
night; and cheeping drowsily to each
other。 My cat came on the scene and;
seeing me; looked at me with serious;
expanding eyes; twitched her whiskers
cynically; and passed on。 Presently I
heard the voices of my family。 They
were re…entering the sitting…room。 Sup…
per was over  supper; with its cold
meats and shining jellies; its 〃floating
island〃 and its fig cake。 I could hear
a voice that was new to me。 It was
deeper than my mother's; and its ac…
cent was different。 It was the sort of
a voice that made you feel that its
owner had talked with many different
kinds of people; and had contrived to
hold her own with all of them。 I knew
it belonged to Aunt Cordelia。 And now
that I was not to see her; I felt my curi…
osity arising in me。 I wanted to look
at her; and still more I wished to ask
her about goodness。 She was rich and
good! Was one the result of the other?
And which came first? I dimly per…
ceived that if there had been more
money in our house there would have
been more help; and I would not have
been led into temptation  baby would
not have been left too long upon my
hands。 However; after a few moments
of self…pity; I rejected this thought。 I
knew I really was to blame; and it oc…
curred to me that I would add to my
faults if I tried to put the blame on any…
body else。

Now that the first shock was over and
that my sleep had refreshed me; I be…
gan to see what terrible sorrow had
been mine if the fall had really injured
Julie; and a sudden thought shook me。
She might; after all; have been hurt in
some way that would show itself later
on。 I yearned to look upon her; to see
if all her sweetness and softness was in…
tact。 It seemed to me that if I could
not see her the rising grief in me would
break; and I would sob aloud。 I didn't
want to do that。 I had no notion to
call any attention to myself whatever;
but see the baby I must。 So; softly;
and like a thief; I opened the door com…
municating with the little dressing…
room in which Julie's cradle stood。 The
curtain had been drawn and it was al…
most dark; but I found my way to
Julie's bassinet。 I could not quite see
her; but the delicate odour of her
breath came up to me; and I found her
little hand and slipped my finger in it。
It was gripped in a baby pressure; and
I stood there enraptured; feeling as if
a flower had caressed me。 I was
thrilled through and through with hap…
piness; and with love for this little crea…
ture; whom my selfishness might have
destroyed。 There was nothing in what
had happened during this moment or
two when I stood by her side to assure
me that all was well with her; but I did
so believe; and I said over and over:
〃Thank you; God! Thank you; God!〃

And now my tears began to flow。
They came in a storm  a storm I could
not control; and I fled back to mother's
room; and stood there before the west
window weeping as I never had wept
before。

The quiet loveliness of the closing
day had passed into the splendour of
the afterglow。 Mighty wings as of
bright angels; pink and shining white;
reached up over the sky。 The vault was
purple above me; and paled to lilac; then
to green of unimaginable tenderness。
Now I quenched my tears to look; and
then I wept again; weeping no more for
sorrow and loneliness and shame than
for gratitude and delight in beauty。 So
fair a world! What had sin to do with
it? I could not make it out。

The shining wings grew paler; faded;
then darkened; the melancholy sound
of cow…bells stole up from the common。
The birds were still; a low wind rustled
the trees。 I sat thinking my young
〃night thoughts〃 of how marvellous it
was for the sun to set; to rise; to keep
its place in heaven  of how wrapped
about with mysteries we were。 What
if the world should start to falling
through space? Where would it land?
Was there even a bottom to the uni…
verse? 〃World without end〃 might
mean that there was neither an end to
space nor yet to time。 I shivered at
thought of such vastness。

Suddenly light streamed about me;
warm arms enfolded me。

〃Mother!〃 I murmured; and slipped
from the unknown to the dear familiar…
ity of her shoulder。

It was; I soon perceived; a silk…clad
shoulder。 Mother had on her best
dress; nay; she wore her coral pin and
ear…rings。 Her lace collar was scented
with Jockey Club; and her neck; into
which I was burrowing; had the inde…
scribable something that was not quite
odour; not all softness; but was com…
pounded of these and meant mother。
She said little to me as she drew me
away and bathed my face; brushed and
plaited my hair; and put on my clean
frock。 But we felt happy together。 I
knew she was as glad to forgive as I
was to be forgiven。

In a little while she led me; blinking;
into the light。 A tall stranger; a lady
in prune…coloured silk; sat in the high…
backed chai

返回目录 上一页 下一页 回到顶部 0 0

你可能喜欢的