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小说: painted windows 字数: 每页4000字

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Monte Cristos in that respect。

As for me; I had decided to be an
orator。

At the time of making this decision;
I was nine years of age; decidedly thin
and long drawn out; with two brown
braids down my back; and a terrific
shyness which I occasionally overcame
with such a magnificent splurge that
those who were not acquainted with my
peculiarities probably thought me a
shamefully assertive child。

I based my oratorical aspirations
upon my having taken the prize a num…
ber of times in Sunday…school for learn…
ing the most New Testament verses;
and upon the fact that I always could
make myself heard to the farthest cor…
ner of the room。 I also felt that I had
a great message to deliver to the world
when I got around it; though in this; I
was in no way different from several
of my friends。 I had noticed a number
of things in the world that were not
quite right; and which I thought needed
attention; and I believed that if I were
quite good and studied elocution; in a
little while I should be able to set my
part of the world right; and perhaps
even extend my influence to adjoining
districts。

Meantime I practised terrible vocal
exercises; chiefly consisting of a rau…
cous 〃caw〃 something like a crow's
favourite remark; and advocated by my
teacher in elocution for no reason that
I can now remember; and I stood be…
fore the glass for hours at a time mak…
ing grimaces so as to acquire the 〃ac…
tor's face;〃 till my frightened little sis…
ters implored me to turn back into my…
self again。

It was a great day for me when I
was asked to participate in the Harvest
Home Festival at our church on
Thanksgiving Day。 I looked upon it as
the beginning of my career; and bought
crimping papers so that my hair could
be properly fluted。 Of course; I wanted
a new dress for the occasion; and I
spent several days in planning the kind
of a one I thought best suited to such a
memorable event。 I even picked out the
particular lace pattern I wanted for the
ruffles。 This was before I submitted the
proposition to Mother; however。 When
I told her about it she said she could
see no use in getting a new dress and
going to all the trouble of making it
when my white one with the green
harps was perfectly good。

This was such an unusual dress and
had gone through so many vicissitudes;
that I really was devotedly attached to
it。 It had; in the beginning; belonged
to my Aunt Bess; and in the days of
its first glory had been a sheer Irish
linen lawn; with tiny green harps on it
at agreeable intervals。  But in the
course of time; it had to be sent to the
wash…tub; and then; behold; all the lit…
tle lovely harps followed the example
of the harp that 〃once through Tara's
hall the soul of music shed;〃 and dis…
appeared! Only vague; dirty; yellow
reminders of their beauty remained;
not to decorate; but to disfigure the
fine fabric。

Aunt Bess; naturally enough; felt ir…
ritated; and she gave the goods to
mother; saying that she might be able
to boil the yellow stains out of it and
make me a dress。 I had gone about
many a time; like love amid the ruins;
in the fragments of Aunt Bess's splen…
dour; and I was not happy in the
thought of dangling these dimmed re…
minders of Ireland's past around with
me。 But mother said she thought I'd
have a really truly white Sunday best
dress out of it by the time she was
through with it。 So she prepared a
strong solution of sodium and things;
and boiled the breadths; and every little
green harp came dancing back as if
awaiting the hand of a new Dublin poet。
The green of them was even more
charming than it had been at first; and
I; as happy as if I had acquired the
golden harp for which I then vaguely
longed; went to Sunday…school all that
summer in this miraculous dress of
now…you…see…them…and…now…you…don't;
and became so used to being asked if I
were Irish that my heart exulted when
I found that I might  fractionally 
claim to be; and that one of the Fenian
martyrs had been an ancestor。 For a
year; even; after that discovery of the
Fenian martyr; ancestors were a fa…
vorite study of mine。

Well; though the dress became some…
thing more than familiar to the eyes
of my associates; I was so attached to
it that I felt no objection to wearing
it on the great occasion; and; that be…
ing settled; all that remained was to
select the piece which was to reveal my
talents to a hitherto unappreciative 
or; perhaps I should say; unsuspecting
 group of friends and relatives。 It
seemed to me that I knew better than
my teacher (who had agreed to select
the pieces for her pupils) possibly
could what sort of a thing best repre…
sented my talents; and so; after some
thought; I selected 〃Antony and Cleo…
patra;〃 and as I lagged along the too…
familiar road to school; avoiding the
companionship of my acquaintances; I
repeated:


I am dying; Egypt; dying!
   Ebbs the crimson life…tide fast;
And the dark Plutonian shadows
   Gather on the evening blast。


Sometimes I grew so impassioned; so
heedless of all save my mimic sorrow
and the swing of the purple lines; that
I could not bring myself to modify my
voice; and the passers…by heard my
shrill tones vibrating with:


As for thee; star…eyed Egyptian!
   Glorious sorceress of the Nile!
Light the path to Stygian horrors
   With the splendour of thy smile。


I wiped dishes to the rhythm of such
phrases as 〃scarred and veteran le…
gions;〃 and laced my shoes to the music
of 〃Though no glittering guards sur…
round me。〃

Confident that no one could fail to
see the beauty of these lines; or the pro…
priety of the identification of myself
with Antony; I called upon my Sunday…
school teacher; Miss Goss; to report。 I
never had thought of Miss Goss as a
blithe spirit。 She was associated in my
mind with numerous solemn occasions;
and I was surprised to find that on this
day she unexpectedly developed a trait
of breaking into nervous laughter。 I
had got as far as 〃Should the base ple…
beian rabble 〃 when Miss Goss broke
down in what I could not but regard as
a fit of giggles; and I ceased abruptly。

She pulled herself together after a
moment or two; and said if I would fol…
low her to the library she thought she
could find something  here she hesi…
tated; to conclude with; 〃more within
the understanding of the other chil…
dren。〃 I saw that she thought my feel…
ings were hurt; and as I passed a mir…
ror I feared she had some reason to
think so。 My face was uncommonly
flushed; and a look of indignation had
crept; somehow; even into my braids;
which; having been plaited too tightly;
stuck out in crooks and kinks from the
side of my head。 Incidentally; I was
horrified to notice how thin I was 
thin; even for a dying Antony  and my
frock was so outgrown that it hardly
covered my knees。 〃Ridiculous!〃 I
said under my breath; as I confronted
this miserable figure  so shamefully in…
significant for the vicarious emotions
which it had been housing。 〃Ridicu…
lous!〃

I hated Miss Goss; and must have
shown it in my stony stare; for she put
her arm around me and said it was a
pity I had been to all the trouble to
learn a poem which was  well; a trifle
too  too old  but that she hoped to find
something equally 〃pretty〃 for me to
speak。 At the use of that adjective in
connection with William Lytle's lines; I
wrenched away from her grasp and
stood in what I was pleased to think a
haughty calm; awaiting her directions。

She took from the shelves a little vol…
ume of Whittier; bound in calf; hand…
ling it as tenderly as if it were a price…
less possession。 Some pressed violets
dropped out as she opened it; and she
replaced them with devotional fingers。
After some time she decided upon a
lyric lament entitled 〃Eva。〃 I was
asked to run over the verses; and found
them remarkably easy to learn; fatally
impossible to forget。 I presently arose
and with an impish betrayal of the pov…
erty of rhyme and the plethora of sen…
timent; repeated the thing relentlessly。


O for faith like thine; sweet Eva;

Lighting all the solemn reevah 'river';

And the blessings of the poor;

Wafting to the heavenly shoor 'shore'。


〃I do think;〃 said Miss Goss gently;
〃that if you tried; my child; you might
manage the rhymes just a little better。〃


〃But if you're born in Michigan;〃 I
protested; 〃how can you possibly make
'Eva' rhyme with 'never' and 'be…
liever'?〃

〃Perhaps it is a little hard;〃 Miss
Goss agreed; and still clinging to her
Whittier; she exhumed 〃The Pump…
kin;〃 which she thought precisely fitted
for our Harvest Home festival。 This
was quite another thing from 〃Eva;〃
and I saw that only hours of study
would fix it in my mind。 I went to my
home; therefore; with 〃The Pumpkin〃
delicately transcribed in Miss Goss's
running hand; and I tried to get some
comfort from the foreign allusions glit…
tering through Whittier's kindly verse。
As the days went by I came to have a
certain fondness for those homely lines:

O  fruit loved of boyhood!  the old days re…

calling;
When wood grapes were purpling and brown

nuts were falling!
When wild; ugly faces we carved in the skin;
Glaring out through the dark 

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