painted windows-第5节

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a　mistake　people　made　who　said　I　was
a　good；　quiet；　child。　I　knew　that　I
looked　sad　and　prim；　but　I　really　hated
my　sadness　and　primness　and　good…
ness；　and　longed　to　let　out　all　the　in…
teresting；　wild；　naughty　thoughts　there
were　in　me。　I　wanted　to　act　as　if　I　were
bewitched；　and　to　tear　up　vines　and
wind　them　about　me；　to　shriek　to　the
echoes；　and　to　scold　back　at　the　squir…
rels。　I　wanted　to　take　off　my　clothes
and　rush　into　the　pond；　and　swim　like
a　fish；　or　wriggle　like　a　pollywog。　I
wanted　to　climb　trees　and　drop　from
them；　and；　most　of　all　　oh；　with　what
longing　　did　I　wish　to　lift　myself　above
the　earth　and　fly　into　the　bland　blue
air！

I　came　to　a　hollow　where　there　was
a　wonderful　greenness　over　everything；
and　I　said　to　myself　that　I　would　be
bewitched　at　last。　I　would　dance　and
whirl　and　call　till；　perhaps；　some　kind
of　a　creature　as　wild　and　wicked　and
wonderful　as　I；　would　come　out　of　the
woods　and　join　me。　So　I　forgot　about
the　fresh　linen　frock；　and　wreathed　my…
self　with　wild　grape…vine；　I　cared　noth…
ing　for　my　fresh　braids　and　wound
trillium　in　my　hair；　and　I　ceased　to　re…
member　my　new　shoes；　and　whirled
around　and　around　in　the　leafy　mould；
singing　and　shouting。

I　grew　madder　and　madder。　I　seemed
not　to　be　myself　at　all；　but　some　sort
of　a　wood　creature；　and　just　when　the
trees　were　looking　larger　than　ever　they
did　before；　and　the　sky　higher　up；　a
girl　came　running　down　from　a　sort　of
embankment　where　a　tornado　had　made
a　path　for　itself　and　had　hurled　some
great　chestnuts　and　oaks　in　a　tumbled
mass。　The　girl　came　leaping　down　the
steep　sides　of　this　place；　her　arms　out…
spread；　her　feet　bare；　her　dress　no　more
than　a　rag　the　colour　of　the　tree…trunks。
She　had　on　a　torn　green　jacket；　which
made　her　seem　more　than　ever　like
some　one　who　had　just　stepped　out　of
a　hollow　tree；　and；　to　my　unspeakable
happiness；　she　joined　me　in　my　dance。

I　shall　never　forget　how　beautiful　she
was；　with　her　wild　tangle　of　dark　hair；
and　her　deep　blue　eyes　and　ripe　lips。
Her　cheeks　were　flaming　red；　and　her
limbs　strong　and　brown。　She　did　not
merely　shout　and　sing；　she　whistled；
and　made　calls　like　the　birds；　and　cawed
like　a　crow；　and　chittered　like　a　squir…
rel；　and　around　and　around　the　two　of
us　danced；　crazy　as　dervishes　with　the
beauty　of　the　spring　and　the　joy　of　be…
ing　free。

By　and　by　we　were　so　tired　we　had
to　stop；　and　then　we　sat　down　panting
and　looked　at　each　other。　At　that　we
laughed；　long　and　foolishly；　but；　after
a　time；　it　occurred　to　us　that　we　had
many　questions　to　ask。

〃How　did　you　get　here？〃　I　asked　the
girl。

〃I　was　walking　my　lone；〃　she　said；
speaking　her　words　as　if　there　was　a
rich　thick　quality　to　them；　〃and　I
heard　you　screeling。〃

〃Won't　you　get　lost；　alone　like
that？〃

〃I　can't　get　lost；　〃she　sighed。　〃I　'd
like　to；　but　I　can't。〃

〃Where　do　you　live？〃

〃Beyant　the　fair…grounds。〃

〃You're　not　　not　Norah　Madigan？〃

She　leaned　back　and　clasped　her
hands　behind　her　head。　　Then　she
smiled　at　me　teasingly。

〃I　am　that；〃　she　said；　showing　her
perfect　teeth。

I　caught　my　breath　with　a　sharp
gasp。　Ought　I　to　turn　back　to　my　par…
ents？　Had　I　been　so　naughty　that　I
had　called　the　naughtiest　girl　in　the
whole　county　out　to　me？

But　I　could　not　bring　myself　to　leave
her。　She　was　leaning　forward　and
looking　at　me　now　with　mocking　eyes。

〃Are　you　afraid？〃　she　demanded。

〃Afraid　of　what？〃　I　asked；　knowing
quite　well　what　she　meant。

〃Of　me？〃　she　retorted。

At　that　second　an　agreeable　truth
overtook　me。　I　leaned　forward；　too；
and　put　my　hand　on　hers。

〃Why；　I　like　you！〃　I　cried。　She　be…
gan　laughing　again；　but　this　time　there
was　no　mockery　in　it。　She　ran　her　fin…
gers　over　the　embroidery　on　my　linen
frock；　she　examined　the　lace　on　my　pet…
ticoat；　looked　at　the　bows　on　my　shoes；
and　played　delicately　with　the　locket
dangling　from　the　slender　chain　around
my　neck。

〃Do　you　know　　other　girls？〃　she　al…
most　whispered。

I　nodded。　〃Lots　and　lots　of　'em；〃
I　said。　〃Don't　you？〃

She　shook　her　head　in　wistful　denial。

〃Us　Madigans；〃　she　said；　〃keeps　to
ourselves。〃　She　said　it　so　haughtily
that　for　a　moment　I　was　almost　per…
suaded　into　thinking　that　they　lived
their　solitary　lives　from　choice。　But；
glancing　up　at　her；　I　saw　a　blush　that
covered　her　face；　and　there　were　tears
in　her　eyes。

〃Well；　anyway；〃　said　I　quickly；　〃we
know　each　other。〃

〃Yes；〃　she　cried；　〃we　do　that！〃

She　got　up；　then；　and　ran　to　a　great
tree　from　which　a　stout　grape…vine　was
swinging；　and　pulling　at　it　with　her
strong　arms；　she　soon　had　it　made　into
a　practical　swing。

〃Come！〃　she　called　　〃come；　let's
swing　together！〃

She　helped　me　to　balance　myself　on
the　rope…like　vine；　and；　placing　her　feet
outside　of　mine；　showed　me　how　to
〃work　up〃　till　we　were　sweeping　with
a　fine　momentum　through　the　air。　We
shrieked　with　excitement；　and　urged
each　other　on　to　more　and　more　frantic
exertions。　We　were　like　two　birds；　but
to　birds　flying　is　no　novelty。　With　us
it　was；　which　made　us　happier　than
birds。　But　I；　for　my　part；　was　no　more
delighted　with　my　swift　flights　through
the　air　than　I　was　with　the　shining　eyes
and　flashing　teeth　of　the　girl　opposite
me。　I　liked　her　strength；　and　the　way
in　which　her　body　bent　and　swayed。
Once　more；　she　seemed　like　a　wood…
child　　a　wild；　mad；　gay　creature　from
the　tree。　I　felt　as　if　I　had　drawn　a　play…
mate　from　elf…land；　and　I　liked　her　a
thousand　times　better　than　those
proper　little　girls　who　came　to　see　me
of　a　Saturday　afternoon。

Well；　there　we　were；　rocking　and
screaming；　and　telling　each　other　that
we　were　hawks；　and　that　we　were　fly…
ing　high　over　the　world；　when　the　anx…
ious　and　austere　voice　of　my　mother
broke　upon　our　ears。　We　tried　to　stop；
but　that　was　not　such　an　easy　matter
to　do；　and　as　we　twisted　and　writhed；
to　bring　our　grape…vine　swing　to　a
standstill；　there　was　a　slow　rending　and
breaking　which　struck　terror　to　our
souls。

〃Jump！〃　　commanded　　Norah　
〃jump！　the　vine's　breaking！〃　We
leaped　at　the　same　moment；　she　safely。
My　foot　caught　in　a　stout　tendril；　and
I　fell　headlong；　scraping　my　forehead
on　the　ground　and　tearing　a　triangular
rent　in　the　pretty；　new　frock。　Mother
came　running　forward；　and　the　expres…
sion　on　her　face　was　far　from　being
the　one　I　liked　to　see。

〃What　have　you　been　doing？〃　she
demanded。　〃I　thought　you　were　get…
ting　old　enough　and　sensible　enough　to
take　care　of　yourself！〃

I　must　have　been　a　depressing　sight；
viewed　with　the　eyes　of　a　careful
mother。　Blood　and　mould　mingled　on
my　face；　my　dress　needed　a　laundress
as　badly　as　a　dress　could；　and　my　shoes
were　scratched　and　muddy。

〃And　who　is　this　girl？〃　asked
mother。　I　had　become　conscious　that
Norah　was　at　my　feet；　wiping　off　my
shoes　with　her　queer　little　brown　frock。

〃It's　a　new　friend　of　mine；〃　gasped
I；　beginning　to　see　that　I　must　lose　her；
and　hoping　the　lump　in　my　throat
wouldn't　get　any　bigger　than　it　was。

〃What　is　her　name？〃　asked　mother。
I　had　no　time　to　answer。　The　girl　did
that。

〃I'm　Norah　Madigan；〃　she　said。
Her　tone　was　respectful；　and；　maybe；
sad。　At　any　rate；　it　had　a　curious
sound。

〃Norah　Mad…i…gan？〃　asked　mother
doubtfully；　stringing　out　the　word。

〃Yessum；〃　said　a　low　voice。　〃Good…
bye；　mum。〃

〃Oh；　Norah！〃　cried　I；　a　strange　pain
stabbing　my　heart。　〃Come　to　see
me　〃

But　my　mother's　voice　broke　in；　firm
and　kind。

〃Good…bye；　Norah；〃　said　she。

I　saw　Norah　turn　and　run　up　among
the　trees；　almost　as　swiftly　and　silently
as　a　hare。　Once；　she　turned　to　look
back。　I　was　watching；　and　caught　the
chance　to　wave　my　hand　to　her。

〃Come！〃　commanded　mother；　and
we　went　back　to　where　father　was　sit…
ting。

〃What　do　you　think！〃　said　mother。
〃I　found　the　child　playing　with　one　of
the　Bad　Madigans。　Isn't　she　a　sight！〃

The　lump　in　my　throat　swelled　to　a
terrible　size；　something　buzzed　in　my
ears；　and　I　heard　some　one　weeping。
For　a　second　or　two　I　didn't　realise　that
it　was　myself。

〃Well；　never　mind；　dear；〃　said
mother's　voice　soothingly。　〃The　frock
will　wash；　and　the　tear　will　mend；　and
the　shoes　will　black。　Yes；　and　the
scratches　will　heal。〃

〃It　isn't　that；〃　I　sobbed。　〃Oh；　oh；
it　isn't　that！〃

〃What　is　it；　then；　for　goodness
sake？〃　asked　mother。

But　I　would　not　tell。　I　could　not
tell。　How　could　I　say　that　the　daughter
of　the　Bad　Madigans　was　the　first　real
and　satisfying　playmate　I　had　ever
had？



IV

FAME

AS　I　remember　the　boys　and　girls
who　grew　up　with　me；　I　think　of
them　as　artists；　or　actors；　or　travellers；
or　rich　merchants。　Each　of　us；　by　the
time　we　were　half　through　grammar
school；　had　selected　a　career。　So　far
as　I　recollect；　this　career　had　very　lit…
tle　to　do　with　our　abilities。　We　merely
chose　something　that　suited　us。　Our
energy　and　our　vanity　crystallised　into
particular　shapes。　There　was　a　sort　of
religion　abroad　in　the　West　at　that　time
that　a　person　could　do　almost　anything
he　set　out　to　do。　The　older　people；　as
well　as　the　children；　had　an　idea　that
the　world　was　theirs　　they　all　were
Monte　Cristos　in　that　respect。

As　for　me；　I　had　decided　to　be　an
orator。

At　the　time　of　making　this　deci