green mansions-第40节
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e I continued to gaze on； its appearance of life without consciousness； produced a strange feeling in me； hard； perhaps impossible； to describe。
Once； when clambering among the rough rocks； overgrown with forest； among the Queneveta mountains； I came on a single white flower which was new to me； which I have never seen since。 After I had looked long at it； and passed on； the image of that perfect flower remained so persistently in my mind that on the following day I went again； in the hope of seeing it still untouched by decay。 There was no change； and on this occasion I spent a much longer time looking at it； admiring the marvellous beauty of its form； which seemed so greatly to exceed that of all other flowers。 It had thick petals； and at first gave me the idea of an artificial flower； cut by a divinely inspired artist from some unknown precious stone； of the size of a large orange and whiter than milk； and yet； in spite of its opacity； with a crystalline lustre on the surface。 Next day I went again； scarcely hoping to find it still unwithered； it was fresh as if only just opened； and after that I went often； sometimes at intervals of several days； and still no faintest sign of any change； the clear； exquisite lines still undimmed； the purity and lustre as I had first seen it。 Why； I often asked； does not this mystic forest flower fade and perish like others？ That first impression of its artificial appearance had soon left me； it was； indeed； a flower； and； like other flowers； had life and growth； only with that transcendent beauty it had a different kind of life。 Unconscious； but higher； perhaps immortal。 Thus it would continue to bloom when I had looked my last on it； wind and rain and sunlight would never stain； never tinge； its sacred purity； the savage Indian； though he sees little to admire in a flower； yet seeing this one would veil his face and turn back； even the browsing beast crashing his way through the forest； struck with its strange glory； would swerve aside and pass on without harming it。 Afterwards I heard from some Indians to whom I described it that the flower I had discovered was called Hata； also that they had a superstition concerning ita strange belief。 They said that only one Hata flower existed in the world； that it bloomed in one spot for the space of a moon； that on the disappearance of the moon in the sky the Hata disappeared from its place； only to reappear blooming in some other spot； sometimes in some distant forest。 And they also said that whosoever discovered the Hata flower in the forest would overcome all his enemies and obtain all his desires； and finally outlive other men by many years。 But； as I have said； all this I heard afterwards； and my half…superstitious feeling for the flower had grown up independently in my own mind。 A feeling like that was in me while I gazed on the face that had no motion； no consciousness in it； and yet had life； a life of so high a kind as to match with its pure； surpassing loveliness。 I could almost believe that； like the forest flower； in this state and aspect it would endure for ever； endure and perhaps give of its own immortality to everything around itto me； holding her in my arms and gazing fixedly on the pale face framed in its cloud of dark； silken hair； to the leaping flames that threw changing lights on the dim stony wall of rock； to old Nuflo and his two yellow dogs stretched out on the floor in eternal； unawakening sleep。
This feeling took such firm possession of my mind that it kept me for a time as motionless as the form I held in my arms。 I was only released from its power by noting still further changes in the face I watched； a more distinct advance towards conscious life。 The faint colour； which had scarcely been more than a suspicion of colour； had deepened perceptibly； the lids were lifted so as to show a gleam of the crystal orbs beneath； the lips； too； were slightly parted。
And； at last； bending lower down to feel her breath； the beauty and sweetness of those lips could no longer be resisted； and I touched them with mine。 Having once tasted their sweetness and fragrance； it was impossible to keep from touching them again and again。 She was not conscioushow could she be and not shrink from my caress？ Yet there was a suspicion in my mind； and drawing back I gazed into her face once more。 A strange new radiance had overspread it。 Or was this only an illusive colour thrown on her skin by the red firelight？ I shaded her face with my open hand； and saw that her pallor had really gone； that the rosy flame on her cheeks was part of her life。 Her lustrous eyes； half open； were gazing into mine。 Oh； surely consciousness had returned to her！ Had she been sensible of those stolen kisses？ Would she now shrink from another caress？ Trembling； I bent down and touched her lips again； lightly； but lingeringly； and then again； and when I drew back and looked at her face the rosy flame was brighter； and the eyes； more open still； were looking into mine。 And gazing with those open； conscious eyes； it seemed to me that at last； at last； the shadow that had rested between us had vanished； that we were united in perfect love and confidence； and that speech was superfluous。 And when I spoke； it was not without doubt and hesitation： our bliss in those silent moments had been so complete； what could speaking do but make it less！
〃My love； my life； my sweet Rima； I know that you will understand me now as you did not before； on that dark nightdo you remember it； Rima？when I held you clasped to my breast in the wood。 How it pierced my heart with pain to speak plainly to you as I did on the mountain tonightto kill the hope that had sustained and brought you so far from home！ But now that anguish is over； the shadow has gone out of those beautiful eyes that are looking at me。 It is because loving me； knowing now what love is； knowing； too； how much I love you； that you no longer need to speak to any other living being of such things？ To tell it； to show it； to me is now enoughis it not so； Rima？ How strange it seemed； at first； when you shrank in fear from me！ But； afterwards； when you prayed aloud to your mother； opening all the secrets of your heart； I understood it。 In that lonely； isolated life in the wood you had heard nothing of love； of its power over the heart； its infinite sweetness； when it came to you at last it was a new； inexplicable thing； and filled you with misgivings and tumultuous thoughts； so that you feared it and hid yourself from its cause。 Such tremors would be felt if it had always been night； with no light except that of the stars and the pale moon； as we saw it a little while ago on the mountain； and； at last； day dawned； and a strange； unheard…of rose and purple flame kindled in the eastern sky； foretelling the coming sun。 It would seem beautiful beyond anything that night had shown to you； yet you would tremble and your heart beat fast at that strange sight； you would wish to fly to those who might be able to tell you its meaning； and whether the sweet things it prophesied would ever really come。 That is why you wished to find your people； and came to Riolama to seek them； and when you knewwhen I cruelly told youthat they would never be found； then you imagined that that strange feeling in your heart must remain a secret for ever； and you could not endure the thought of your loneliness。 If you had not fainted so quickly； then I should have told you what I must tell you now。 They are lost； Rimayour peoplebut I am with you； and know what you feel； even if you have no words to tell it。 But what need of words？ It shines in your eyes； it burns like a flame in your face； I can feel it in your hands。 Do you not also see it in my faceall that I feel for you； the love that makes me happy？ For this is love； Rima； the flower and the melody of life； the sweetest thing； the sweet miracle that makes our two souls one。〃
Still resting in my arms； as if glad to rest there； still gazing into my face； it was clear to me that she understood my every word。 And then； with no trace of doubt or fear left； I stooped again； until my lips were on hers； and when I drew back once more； hardly knowing which bliss was greatestkissing her delicate mouth or gazing into her faceshe all at once put her arms about my neck and drew herself up until she sat on my knee。
〃Abelshall I call you Abel nowand always？〃 she spoke； still with her arms round my neck。 〃Ah； why did you let me come to Riolama？ I would come！ I made him comeold grandfather； sleeping there： he does not count； but youyou！ After you had heard my story； and knew that it was all for nothing！ And all I wished to know was therein you。 Oh； how sweet it is！ But a little while ago； what pain！ When I stood on the mountain when you talked to me； and I knew that you knew best； and tried and tried not to know。 At last I could try no more； they were all dead like mother； I had chased the false water on the savannah。 'Oh； let me die too；' I said； for I could not bear the pain。 And afterwards； here in the cave； I was like one asleep； and when I woke I did not really wake。 It was like morning with the light teasing me to open my eyes and look at it。 Not yet； dear ligh
