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BORKIN。 Look here; doctor; is Anna really so ill that she
absolutely must go to the Crimea?

LVOFF。 'Looking toward the window' Yes; she has consumption。

BORKIN。 Whew! How sad! I have seen in her face for some time that
she could not last much longer。

LVOFF。 Can't you speak quietly? She can hear everything you say。
'A pause。'

BORKIN。 'Sighing' The life of man is like a flower; blooming so
gaily in a field。 Then; along comes a goat; he eats it; and the
flower is gone!

SHABELSKI。 Oh; nonsense; nonsense。 'Yawning' Everything is a
fraud and a swindle。 'A pause。'

BORKIN。 Gentlemen; I have been trying to tell Nicholas how he can
make some money; and have submitted a brilliant plan to him; but
my seed; as usual; has fallen on barren soil。 Look what a sight
he is now: dull; cross; bored; peevish…

SHABELSKI。 'Gets up and stretches himself' You are always
inventing schemes for everybody; you clever fellow; and telling
them how to live; can't you tell me something? Give me some good
advice; you ingenious young man。 Show me a good move to make。

BORKIN。 'Getting up' I am going to have a swim。 Goodbye;
gentlemen。 'To Shabelski' There are at least twenty good moves
you could make。 If I were you I should have twenty thousand
roubles in a week。

'He goes out; SHABELSKI follows him。'

SHABELSKI。 How would you do it? Come; explain。

BORKIN。 There is nothing to explain; it is so simple。 'Coming
back' Nicholas; give me a rouble。

IVANOFF silently hands him the money

BORKIN。 Thanks。 Shabelski; you still hold some trump cards。

SHABELSKI follows him out。

SHABELSKI。 Well; what are they?

BORKIN。 If I were you I should have thirty thousand roubles and
more in a week。 'They go out together。'

IVANOFF。 'After a pause' Useless people; useless talk; and the
necessity of answering stupid questions; have wearied me so;
doctor; that I am ill。 I have become so irritable and bitter that
I don't know myself。 My head aches for days at a time。 I hear a
ringing in my ears; I can't sleep; and yet there is no escape
from it all; absolutely none。

LVOFF。 Ivanoff; I have something serious to speak to you about。

IVANOFF。 What is it ?

LVOFF。 It is about your wife。 She refuses to go to the Crimea
alone; but she would go with you。

IVANOFF。 'Thoughtfully' It would cost a great deal for us both to
go; and besides; I could not get leave to be away for so long。 I
have had one holiday already this year。

LVOFF。 Very well; let us admit that。 Now to proceed。 The best
cure for consumption is absolute peace of mind; and your wife has
none whatever。 She is forever excited by your behaviour to her。
Forgive me; I am excited and am going to speak frankly。 Your
treatment of her is killing her。 'A pause' Ivanoff; let me
believe better things of you。

IVANOFF。 What you say is true; true。 I must be terribly guilty;
but my mind is confused。 My will seems to be paralysed by a kind
of stupor; I can't understand myself or any one else。 'Looks
toward the window' Come; let us take a walk; we might be
overheard here。 'They get up' My dear friend; you should hear the
whole story from the beginning if it were not so long and
complicated that to tell it would take all night。 'They walk up
and down' Anna is a splendid; an exceptional woman。 She has left
her faith; her parents and her fortune for my sake。 If I should
demand a hundred other sacrifices; she would consent to every one
without the quiver of an eyelid。 Well; I am not a remarkable man
in any way; and have sacrificed nothing。 However; the story is a
long one。 In short; the whole point is; my dear doctor
'Confused' that I married her for love and promised to love her
forever; and now after five years she loves me still and I 'He
waves his hand' Now; when you tell me she is dying; I feel
neither love nor pity; only a sort of loneliness and weariness。
To all appearances this must seem horrible; and I cannot
understand myself what is happening to me。 'They go out。'

SHABELSKI comes in。

SHABELSKI。 'Laughing' Upon my word; that man is no scoundrel; but
a great thinker; a master…mind。 He deserves a memorial。 He is the
essence of modern ingenuity; and combines in himself alone the
genius of the lawyer; the doctor; and the financier。 'He sits
down on the lowest step of the terrace' And yet he has never
finished a course of studies in any college; that is so
surprising。 What an ideal scoundrel he would have made if he had
acquired a little culture and mastered the sciences! 〃You could
make twenty thousand roubles in a week;〃 he said。 〃You still hold
the ace of trumps: it is your title。〃 'Laughing' He said I might
get a rich girl to marry me for it! 'ANNA opens the window and
looks down' 〃Let me make a match between you and Martha;〃 says
he。 Who is this Martha? It must be that BalabalkinaBabakalkina
woman; the one that looks like a laundress。

ANNA。 Is that you; Count?

SHABELSKI。 What do you want?

ANNA laughs。

SHABELSKI。 'With a Jewish accent' Vy do you laugh?

ANNA。 I was thinking of something you said at dinner; do you
remember? How was ita forgiven thief; a doctored horse。

SHABELSKI。 A forgiven thief; a doctored horse; and a
Christianised Jew are all worth the same price。

ANNA。 'Laughing' You can't even repeat the simplest saying
without ill…nature。 You are a most malicious old man。 'Seriously'
Seriously; Count you are extremely disagreeable; and very
tiresome and painful to live with。 You are always grumbling and
growling; and everybody to you is a blackguard and a scoundrel。
Tell me honestly; Count; have you ever spoken well of any one?

SHABELSKI。 Is this an inquisition?

ANNA。 We have lived under this same roof now for five years; and
I have never heard you speak kindly of people; or without
bitterness and derision。 What harm has the world done to you? Is
it possible that you consider yourself better than any one else?

SHABELSKI。 Not at all。 I think we are all of us scoundrels and
hypocrites。 I myself am a degraded old man; and as useless as a
cast…off shoe。 I abuse myself as much as any one else。 I was rich
once; and free; and happy at times; but now I am a dependent; an
object of charity; a joke to the world。 When I am at last
exasperated and defy them; they answer me with a laugh。 When I
laugh; they shake their heads sadly and say; 〃The old man has
gone mad。〃 But oftenest of all I am unheard and unnoticed by
every one。

ANNA。 'Quietly' Screaming again。

SHABELSKI。 Who is screaming?

ANNA。 The owl。 It screams every evening。

SHABELSKI。 Let it scream。 Things are as bad as they can be
already。 'Stretches himself' Alas; my dear Sarah! If I could only
win a thousand or two roubles; I should soon show you what I
could do。 I wish you could see me! I should get away out of this
hole; and leave the bread of charity; and should not show my nose
here again until the last judgment day。

ANNA。 What would you do if you were to win so much money?

SHABELSKI。 'Thoughtfully' First I would go to Moscow to hear the
Gipsies play; and thenthen I should fly to Paris and take an
apartment and go to the Russian Church。

ANNA。 And what else?

SHABELSKI。 I would go and sit on my wife's grave for days and
days and think。 I would sit there until I died。 My wife is buried
in Paris。 'A pause。'

ANNA。 How terribly dull this is! Shall we play a duet?

SHABELSKI。 As you like。 Go and get the music ready。 'ANNA goes
out。'

IVANOFF and LVOFF appear in one of the paths。

IVANOFF。 My dear friend; you left college last year; and you are
still young and brave。 Being thirty…five years old I have the
right to advise you。 Don't marry a Jewess or a bluestocking or a
woman who is queer in any way。 Choose some nice; common…place
girl without any strange and startling points in her character。
Plan your life for quiet; the greyer and more monotonous you can
make the background; the better。 My dear boy; do not try to fight
alone against thousands; do not tilt with windmills; do not dash
yourself against the rocks。 And; above all; may you be spared the
so…called rational life; all wild theories and impassioned talk。
Everything is in the hands of God; so shut yourself up in your
shell and do your best。 That is the pleasant; honest; healthy way
to live。 But the life I have chosen has been so tiring; oh; so
tiring! So full of mistakes; of injustice and stupidity! 'Catches
sight of SHABELSKI; and speaks angrily' There you are again;
Uncle; always under foot; never letting one have a moment's quiet
talk!

SHABELSKI。 'In a tearful voice' Is there no refuge anywhere for a
poor old devil like me? 'He jumps up and runs into the house。'

IVANOFF。 Now I have offended him! Yes; my nerves have certainly
gone to pieces。 I must do something about it; I must…

LVOFF。 'Excitedly' Ivanoff; I have heard all you have to say
andandI am going to speak frankly。 You have shown me in your
voice and manner; as well as in your words; the most heartless
egotism and pitiless cruelty。 Your nearest friend is dying simply
because she is near you; her days are numbered; and you can feel
such indifference that you go about giving advice and analysing
your feelings。 I cannot say all I should like to; I have

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