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Ivanoff

by Anton Checkov



A PLAY

CHARACTERS

NICHOLAS IVANOFF; perpetual member of the Council of Peasant
Affairs

ANNA; his wife。 Nee Sarah Abramson

MATTHEW SHABELSKI; a count; uncle of Ivanoff

PAUL LEBEDIEFF; President of the Board of the Zemstvo

ZINAIDA; his wife

SASHA; their daughter; twenty years old

LVOFF; a young government doctor

MARTHA BABAKINA; a young widow; owner of an estate and daughter
of a rich merchant

KOSICH; an exciseman

MICHAEL BORKIN; a distant relative of Ivanoff; and manager of his
estate

AVDOTIA NAZAROVNA; an old woman

GEORGE; lives with the Lebedieffs

FIRST GUEST

SECOND GUEST

THIRD GUEST

FOURTH GUEST

PETER; a servant of Ivanoff

GABRIEL; a servant of Lebedieff

GUESTS OF BOTH SEXES

The play takes place in one of the provinces of central Russia

IVANOFF

ACT I

The garden of IVANOFF'S country place。 On the left is a terrace
and the facade of the house。 One window is open。 Below the
terrace is a broad semicircular lawn; from which paths lead to
right and left into a garden。 On the right are several garden
benches and tables。 A lamp is burning on one of the tables。 It is
evening。 As the curtain rises sounds of the piano and violoncello
are heard。

IVANOFF is sitting at a table reading。

BORKIN; in top…boots and carrying a gun; comes in from the rear
of the garden。 He is a little tipsy。 As he sees IVANOFF he comes
toward him on tiptoe; and when he comes opposite him he stops and
points the gun at his face。

IVANOFF。 'Catches sight of BORKIN。 Shudders and jumps to his
feet' Misha! What are you doing? You frightened me! I can't stand
your stupid jokes when I am so nervous as this。 And having
frightened me; you laugh! 'He sits down。'

BORKIN。 'Laughing loudly' There; I am sorry; really。 I won't do
it again。 Indeed I won't。 'Take off his cap' How hot it is! Just
think; my dear boy; I have covered twelve miles in the last three
hours。 I am worn out。 Just feel how my heart is beating。


IVANOFF。 'Goes on reading' Oh; very well。 I shall feel it later!

BORKIN。 No; feel it now。 'He takes IVANOFF'S hand and presses it
against his breast' Can you feel it thumping? That means that it
is weak and that I may die suddenly at any moment。 Would you be
sorry if I died?

IVANOFF。 I am reading now。 I shall attend to you later。

BORKIN。 No; seriously; would you be sorry if I died? Nicholas;
would you be sorry if I died?

IVANOFF。 Leave me alone!

BORKIN。 Come; tell me if you would be sorry or not。

IVANOFF。 I am sorry that you smell so of vodka; Misha; it is
disgusting。

BORKIN。 Do I smell of vodka? How strange! And yet; it is not so
strange after all。 I met the magistrate on the road; and I must
admit that we did drink about eight glasses together。 Strictly
speaking; of course; drinking is very harmful。 Listen; it is
harmful; isn't it? Is it? Is it?

IVANOFF。 This is unendurable! Let me warn you; Misha; that you
are going too far。

BORKIN。 Well; well; excuse me。 Sit here by yourself then; for
heaven's sake; if it amuses you。 'Gets up and goes away' What
extraordinary people one meets in the world。 They won't even
allow themselves to be spoken to。 'He comes back' Oh; yes; I
nearly forgot。 Please let me have eighty…two roubles。

IVANOFF。 Why do you want eighty…two roubles?

BORKIN。 To pay the workmen to…morrow。

IVANOFF。 I haven't the money。

BORKIN。 Many thanks。 'Angrily' So you haven't the money! And yet
the workmen must be paid; mustn't they?

IVANOFF。 I don't know。 Wait till my salary comes in on the first
of the month。

BORKIN。 How is it possible to discuss anything with a man like
you? Can't you understand that the workmen are coming to…morrow
morning and not on the first of the month?

IVANOFF。 How can I help it? I'll be hanged if I can do anything
about it now。 And what do you mean by this irritating way you
have of pestering me whenever I am trying to read or write or…

BORKIN。 Must the workmen be paid or not; I ask you? But; good
gracious! What is the use of talking to you! 'Waves his hand' Do
you think because you own an estate you can command the whole
world? With your two thousand acres and your empty pockets you
are like a man who has a cellar full of wine and no corkscrew。 I
have sold the oats as they stand in the field。 Yes; sir! And
to…morrow I shall sell the rye and the carriage horses。 'He
stamps up and down' Do you think I am going to stand upon
ceremony with you? Certainly not! I am not that kind of a man!

ANNA appears at the open window。

ANNA。 Whose voice did I hear just now? Was it yours; Misha? Why
are you stamping up and down?

BORKIN。 Anybody who had anything to do with your Nicholas would
stamp up and down。

ANNA。 Listen; Misha! Please have some hay carried onto the
croquet lawn。

BORKIN。 'Waves his hand' Leave me alone; please!

ANNA。 Oh; what manners! They are not becoming to you at all。 If
you want to be liked by women you must never let them see you
when you are angry or obstinate。 'To her husband' Nicholas; let
us go and play on the lawn in the hay!

IVANOFF。 Don't you know it is bad for you to stand at the open
window; Annie? 'Calls' Shut the window; Uncle!

'The window is shut from the inside。'

BORKIN。 Don't forget that the interest on the money you owe
Lebedieff must be paid in two days。

IVANOFF。 I haven't forgotten it。 I am going over to see Lebedieff
today and shall ask him to wait

'He looks at his watch。'

BORKIN。 When are you going?

IVANOFF。 At once。

BORKIN。 Wait! Wait! Isn't this Sasha's birthday? So it is! The
idea of my forgetting it。 What a memory I have。 'Jumps about' I
shall go with you! 'Sings' I shall go; I shall go! Nicholas; old
man; you are the joy of my life。 If you were not always so
nervous and cross and gloomy; you and I could do great things
together。 I would do anything for you。 Shall I marry Martha
Babakina and give you half her fortune? That is; not half;
either; but alltake it all!

IVANOFF。 Enough of this nonsense!

BORKIN。 No; seriously; shan't I marry Martha and halve the money
with you? But no; why should I propose it? How can you
understand? 'Angrily' You say to me: 〃Stop talking nonsense!〃 You
are a good man and a clever one; but you haven't any red blood in
your veins or anywell; enthusiasm。 Why; if you wanted to; you
and I could cut a dash together that would shame the devil
himself。 If you were a normal man instead of a morbid
hypochondriac we would have a million in a year。 For instance; if
I had twenty…three hundred roubles now I could make twenty
thousand in two weeks。 You don't believe me? You think it is all
nonsense? No; it isn't nonsense。 Give me twenty…three hundred
roubles and let me try。 Ofsianoff is selling a strip of land
across the river for that price。 If we buy this; both banks will
be ours; and we shall have the right to build a dam across the
river。 Isn't that so? We can say that we intend to build a mill;
and when the people on the river below us hear that we mean to
dam the river they will; of course; object violently and we shall
say: If you don't want a dam here you will have to pay to get us
away。 Do you see the result? The factory would give us five
thousand roubles; Korolkoff three thousand; the monastery five
thousand more

IVANOFF。 All that is simply idiotic; Misha。 If you don't want me
to lose my temper you must keep your schemes to yourself。

BORKIN。 'Sits down at the table' Of course! I knew how it would
be! You never will act for yourself; and you tie my hands so that
I am helpless。

Enter SHABELSKI and LVOFF。

SHABELSKI。 The only difference between lawyers and doctors is
that lawyers simply rob you; whereas doctors both rob you and
kill you。 I am not referring to any one present。 'Sits down on
the bench' They are all frauds and swindlers。 Perhaps in Arcadia
you might find an exception to the general rule and yetI have
treated thousands of sick people myself in my life; and I have
never met a doctor who did not seem to me to be an unmistakable
scoundrel。

BORKIN。 'To IVANOFF' Yes; you tie my hands and never do anything
for yourself; and that is why you have no money。

SHABELSKI。 As I said before; I am not referring to any one here
at present; there may be exceptions though; after all 'He
yawns。'

IVANOFF。 'Shuts his book' What have you to tell me; doctor?

LVOFF。 'Looks toward the window' Exactly what I said this
morning: she must go to the Crimea at once。 'Walks up and down。'

SHABELSKI。 'Bursts out laughing' To the Crimea! Why don't you and
I set up as doctors; Misha? Then; if some Madame Angot or Ophelia
finds the world tiresome and begins to cough and be consumptive;
all we shall have to do will be to write out a prescription
according to the laws of medicine: that is; first; we shall order
her a young doctor; and then a journey to the Crimea。 There some
fascinating young Tartar…

IVANOFF。 'Interrupting' Oh; don't be coarse! 'To LVOFF' It takes
money to go to the Crimea; and even if I could afford it; you
know she has refused to go。

LVOFF。 Yes; she has。 'A pause。'

BORKIN。 Look here; doctor; is Anna really so ill that she
absolutely must go to the Cr

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