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第9节

unconscious comedians-第9节

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will dishonor my house。〃



〃You are stern; Monsieur Marius。〃



〃I owe them the secrets of my art。〃



〃Then it is an art?〃 said Gazonal。



Marius; affronted; looked at Gazonal in the glass; and stopped short;

the scissors in one hand; the comb in the other。



〃Monsieur; you speak like achild! and yet; from your accent; I judge

you are from the South; the birthplace of men of genius。〃



〃Yes; I know that hair…dressing requires some taste;〃 replied Gazonal。



〃Hush; monsieur; hush! I expected better things of YOU。 Let me tell

you that a hair…dresser;I don't say a good hair…dresser; for a man

is; or he is not; a hair…dresser;a hair…dresser; I repeat; is more

difficult to find thanwhat shall I say? thanI don't know whata

minister?(Sit still!) No; for you can't judge by ministers; the

streets are full of them。 A Paganini? No; he's not great enough。 A

hair…dresser; monsieur; a man who divines your soul and your habits;

in order to dress your hair conformably with your being; that man has

all that constitutes a philosopherand such he is。 See the women!

Women appreciate us; they know our value; our value to them is the

conquest they make when they have placed their heads in our hands to

attain a triumph。 I say to you that a hair…dresserthe world does not

know what he is。 I who speak to you; I am very nearly all that there

is ofwithout boasting I may say I am knownStill; I think more

might be doneThe execution; that is everything! Ah! if women would

only give me carte blanche!if I might only execute the ideas that

come to me! I have; you see; a hell of imagination!but the women

don't fall in with it; they have their own plans; they'll stick their

fingers or combs; as soon as my back is turned; through the most

delicious edificeswhich ought to be engraved and perpetuated; for

our works; monsieur; last unfortunately but a few hours。 A great

hair…dresser; hey! he's like Careme and Vestris in their careers。

(Head a little this way; if you please; SO; I attend particularly to

front faces!) Our profession is ruined by bunglers who understand

neither the epoch nor their art。 There are dealers in wigs and

essences who are enough to make one's hair stand on end; they care

only to sell you bottles。 It is pitiable! But that's business。 Such

poor wretches cut hair and dress it as they can。 I; when I arrived in

Paris from Toulouse; my ambition was to succeed the great Marius; to

be a true Marius; to make that name illustrious。 I alone; more than

all the four others; I said to myself; 'I will conquer; or die。'

(There! now sit straight; I am going to finish you。) I was the first

to introduce ELEGANCE; I made my salons the object of curiosity。 I

disdain advertisements; what advertisements would have cost; monsieur;

I put into elegance; charm; comfort。 Next year I shall have a

quartette in one of the salons to discourse music; and of the best。

Yes; we ought to charm away the ennui of those whose heads we dress。 I

do not conceal from myself the annoyances to a client。 (Look at

yourself!) To have one's hair dressed is fatiguing; perhaps as much so

as posing for one's portrait。 Monsieur knows perhaps that the famous

Monsieur Humbolt (I did the best I could with the few hairs America

left himscience has this in common with savages; that she scalps her

men clean); that illustrious savant; said that next to the suffering

of going to be hanged was that of going to be painted; but I place the

trial of having your head dressed before that of being painted; and so

do certain women。 Well; monsieur; my object is to make those who come

here to have their hair cut or frizzed enjoy themselves。 (Hold still;

you have a tuft which MUST be conquered。) A Jew proposed to supply me

with Italian cantatrices who; during the interludes; were to depilate

the young men of forty; but they proved to be girls from the

Conservatoire; and music…teachers from the Rue Montmartre。 There you

are; monsieur; your head is dressed as that of a man of talent ought

to be。 Ossian;〃 he said to the lacquey in livery; 〃dress monsieur and

show him out。 Whose turn next?〃 he added proudly; gazing round upon

the persons who awaited him。



〃Don't laugh; Gazonal;〃 said Leon as they reached the foot of the

staircase; whence his eye could take in the whole of the Place de la

Bourse。 〃I see over there one of our great men; and you shall compare

his language with that of the barber; and tell me which of the two you

think the most original。〃



〃Don't laugh; Gazonal;〃 said Bixiou; mimicking Leon's intonation。

〃What do you suppose is Marius's business?〃



〃Hair…dressing。〃



〃He has obtained a monopoly of the sale of hair in bulk; as a certain

dealer in comestibles who is going to sell us a pate for three francs

has acquired a monopoly of the sale of truffles; he discounts the

paper of that business; he loans money on pawn to clients when

embarrassed; he gives annuities on lives; he gambles at the Bourse; he

is a stockholder in all the fashion papers; and he sells; under the

name of a certain chemist; an infamous drug which; for his share

alone; gives him an income of thirty thousand francs; and costs in

advertisements a hundred thousand yearly。〃



〃Is it possible!〃 cried Gazonal。



〃Remember this;〃 said Bixiou; gravely。 〃In Paris there is no such

thing as a small business; all things swell to large proportions; down

to the sale of rags and matches。 The lemonade…seller who; with his

napkin under his arm; meets you as you enter his shop; may be worth

his fifty thousand francs a year; the waiter in a restaurant is

eligible for the Chamber; the man you take for a beggar in the street

carries a hundred thousand francs worth of unset diamonds in his

waistcoat pocket; and didn't steal them either。〃



The three inseparables (for one day at any rate) now crossed the Place

de la Bourse in a way to intercept a man about forty years of age;

wearing the Legion of honor; who was coming from the boulevard by way

of the rue Neuve…Vivienne。



〃Hey!〃 said Leon; 〃what are you pondering over; my dear Dubourdieu?

Some fine symbolic composition? My dear cousin; I have the pleasure to

present to you our illustrious painter Dubourdieu; not less celebrated

for his humanitarian convictions than for his talents in art。

Dubourdieu; my cousin Palafox。〃



Dubourdieu; a small; pale man with melancholy blue eyes; bowed

slightly to Gazonal; who bent low as before a man of genius。



〃So you have elected Stidmann in place of〃 he began。



〃How could I help it? I wasn't there;〃 replied Lora。



〃You bring the Academy into disrepute;〃 continued the painter。 〃To

choose such a man as that! I don't wish to say ill of him; but he

works at a trade。 Where are you dragging the first of arts;the art

those works are the most lasting; bringing nations to light of which

the world has long lost even the memory; an art which crowns and

consecrates great men? Yes; sculpture is priesthood; it preserves the

ideas of an epoch; and you give its chair to a maker of toys and

mantelpieces; an ornamentationist; a seller of bric…a…brac! Ah! as

Chamfort said; one has to swallow a viper every morning to endure the

life of Paris。 Well; at any rate; Art remains to a few of us; they

can't prevent us from cultivating it〃



〃And besides; my dear fellow; you have a consolation which few artists

possess; the future is yours;〃 said Bixiou。 〃When the world is

converted to our doctrine; you will be at the head of your art; for

you are putting into it ideas which people will understandWHEN they

are generalized! In fifty years from now you'll be to all the world

what you are to a few of us at this moment;a great man。 The only

question is how to get along till then。〃



〃I have just finished;〃 resumed the great artist; his face expanding

like that of a man whose hobby is stroked; 〃an allegorical figure of

Harmony; and if you will come and see it; you will understand why it

should have taken me two years to paint it。 Everything is in it! At

the first glance one divines the destiny of the globe。 A queen holds a

shepherd's crook in her hand;symbolical of the advancement of the

races useful to mankind; she wears on her head the cap of Liberty; her

breasts are sixfold; as the Egyptians carved themfor the Egyptians

foresaw Fourier; her feet are resting on two clasped hands which

embrace a globe;symbol of the brotherhood of all human races; she

tramples cannon under foot to signify the abolition of war; and I have

tried to make her face express the serenity of triumphant agriculture。

I have also placed beside her an enormous curled cabbage; which;

according to our master; is an image of Harmony。 Ah! it is not the

least among Fourier's titles to veneration that he has restored the

gift of thought to plants; he has bound all creation in one by the

signification of things to one another; and by their special language。

A hundred years hence this earth will be m

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