unconscious comedians-第9节
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will dishonor my house。〃
〃You are stern; Monsieur Marius。〃
〃I owe them the secrets of my art。〃
〃Then it is an art?〃 said Gazonal。
Marius; affronted; looked at Gazonal in the glass; and stopped short;
the scissors in one hand; the comb in the other。
〃Monsieur; you speak like achild! and yet; from your accent; I judge
you are from the South; the birthplace of men of genius。〃
〃Yes; I know that hair…dressing requires some taste;〃 replied Gazonal。
〃Hush; monsieur; hush! I expected better things of YOU。 Let me tell
you that a hair…dresser;I don't say a good hair…dresser; for a man
is; or he is not; a hair…dresser;a hair…dresser; I repeat; is more
difficult to find thanwhat shall I say? thanI don't know whata
minister?(Sit still!) No; for you can't judge by ministers; the
streets are full of them。 A Paganini? No; he's not great enough。 A
hair…dresser; monsieur; a man who divines your soul and your habits;
in order to dress your hair conformably with your being; that man has
all that constitutes a philosopherand such he is。 See the women!
Women appreciate us; they know our value; our value to them is the
conquest they make when they have placed their heads in our hands to
attain a triumph。 I say to you that a hair…dresserthe world does not
know what he is。 I who speak to you; I am very nearly all that there
is ofwithout boasting I may say I am knownStill; I think more
might be doneThe execution; that is everything! Ah! if women would
only give me carte blanche!if I might only execute the ideas that
come to me! I have; you see; a hell of imagination!but the women
don't fall in with it; they have their own plans; they'll stick their
fingers or combs; as soon as my back is turned; through the most
delicious edificeswhich ought to be engraved and perpetuated; for
our works; monsieur; last unfortunately but a few hours。 A great
hair…dresser; hey! he's like Careme and Vestris in their careers。
(Head a little this way; if you please; SO; I attend particularly to
front faces!) Our profession is ruined by bunglers who understand
neither the epoch nor their art。 There are dealers in wigs and
essences who are enough to make one's hair stand on end; they care
only to sell you bottles。 It is pitiable! But that's business。 Such
poor wretches cut hair and dress it as they can。 I; when I arrived in
Paris from Toulouse; my ambition was to succeed the great Marius; to
be a true Marius; to make that name illustrious。 I alone; more than
all the four others; I said to myself; 'I will conquer; or die。'
(There! now sit straight; I am going to finish you。) I was the first
to introduce ELEGANCE; I made my salons the object of curiosity。 I
disdain advertisements; what advertisements would have cost; monsieur;
I put into elegance; charm; comfort。 Next year I shall have a
quartette in one of the salons to discourse music; and of the best。
Yes; we ought to charm away the ennui of those whose heads we dress。 I
do not conceal from myself the annoyances to a client。 (Look at
yourself!) To have one's hair dressed is fatiguing; perhaps as much so
as posing for one's portrait。 Monsieur knows perhaps that the famous
Monsieur Humbolt (I did the best I could with the few hairs America
left himscience has this in common with savages; that she scalps her
men clean); that illustrious savant; said that next to the suffering
of going to be hanged was that of going to be painted; but I place the
trial of having your head dressed before that of being painted; and so
do certain women。 Well; monsieur; my object is to make those who come
here to have their hair cut or frizzed enjoy themselves。 (Hold still;
you have a tuft which MUST be conquered。) A Jew proposed to supply me
with Italian cantatrices who; during the interludes; were to depilate
the young men of forty; but they proved to be girls from the
Conservatoire; and music…teachers from the Rue Montmartre。 There you
are; monsieur; your head is dressed as that of a man of talent ought
to be。 Ossian;〃 he said to the lacquey in livery; 〃dress monsieur and
show him out。 Whose turn next?〃 he added proudly; gazing round upon
the persons who awaited him。
〃Don't laugh; Gazonal;〃 said Leon as they reached the foot of the
staircase; whence his eye could take in the whole of the Place de la
Bourse。 〃I see over there one of our great men; and you shall compare
his language with that of the barber; and tell me which of the two you
think the most original。〃
〃Don't laugh; Gazonal;〃 said Bixiou; mimicking Leon's intonation。
〃What do you suppose is Marius's business?〃
〃Hair…dressing。〃
〃He has obtained a monopoly of the sale of hair in bulk; as a certain
dealer in comestibles who is going to sell us a pate for three francs
has acquired a monopoly of the sale of truffles; he discounts the
paper of that business; he loans money on pawn to clients when
embarrassed; he gives annuities on lives; he gambles at the Bourse; he
is a stockholder in all the fashion papers; and he sells; under the
name of a certain chemist; an infamous drug which; for his share
alone; gives him an income of thirty thousand francs; and costs in
advertisements a hundred thousand yearly。〃
〃Is it possible!〃 cried Gazonal。
〃Remember this;〃 said Bixiou; gravely。 〃In Paris there is no such
thing as a small business; all things swell to large proportions; down
to the sale of rags and matches。 The lemonade…seller who; with his
napkin under his arm; meets you as you enter his shop; may be worth
his fifty thousand francs a year; the waiter in a restaurant is
eligible for the Chamber; the man you take for a beggar in the street
carries a hundred thousand francs worth of unset diamonds in his
waistcoat pocket; and didn't steal them either。〃
The three inseparables (for one day at any rate) now crossed the Place
de la Bourse in a way to intercept a man about forty years of age;
wearing the Legion of honor; who was coming from the boulevard by way
of the rue Neuve…Vivienne。
〃Hey!〃 said Leon; 〃what are you pondering over; my dear Dubourdieu?
Some fine symbolic composition? My dear cousin; I have the pleasure to
present to you our illustrious painter Dubourdieu; not less celebrated
for his humanitarian convictions than for his talents in art。
Dubourdieu; my cousin Palafox。〃
Dubourdieu; a small; pale man with melancholy blue eyes; bowed
slightly to Gazonal; who bent low as before a man of genius。
〃So you have elected Stidmann in place of〃 he began。
〃How could I help it? I wasn't there;〃 replied Lora。
〃You bring the Academy into disrepute;〃 continued the painter。 〃To
choose such a man as that! I don't wish to say ill of him; but he
works at a trade。 Where are you dragging the first of arts;the art
those works are the most lasting; bringing nations to light of which
the world has long lost even the memory; an art which crowns and
consecrates great men? Yes; sculpture is priesthood; it preserves the
ideas of an epoch; and you give its chair to a maker of toys and
mantelpieces; an ornamentationist; a seller of bric…a…brac! Ah! as
Chamfort said; one has to swallow a viper every morning to endure the
life of Paris。 Well; at any rate; Art remains to a few of us; they
can't prevent us from cultivating it〃
〃And besides; my dear fellow; you have a consolation which few artists
possess; the future is yours;〃 said Bixiou。 〃When the world is
converted to our doctrine; you will be at the head of your art; for
you are putting into it ideas which people will understandWHEN they
are generalized! In fifty years from now you'll be to all the world
what you are to a few of us at this moment;a great man。 The only
question is how to get along till then。〃
〃I have just finished;〃 resumed the great artist; his face expanding
like that of a man whose hobby is stroked; 〃an allegorical figure of
Harmony; and if you will come and see it; you will understand why it
should have taken me two years to paint it。 Everything is in it! At
the first glance one divines the destiny of the globe。 A queen holds a
shepherd's crook in her hand;symbolical of the advancement of the
races useful to mankind; she wears on her head the cap of Liberty; her
breasts are sixfold; as the Egyptians carved themfor the Egyptians
foresaw Fourier; her feet are resting on two clasped hands which
embrace a globe;symbol of the brotherhood of all human races; she
tramples cannon under foot to signify the abolition of war; and I have
tried to make her face express the serenity of triumphant agriculture。
I have also placed beside her an enormous curled cabbage; which;
according to our master; is an image of Harmony。 Ah! it is not the
least among Fourier's titles to veneration that he has restored the
gift of thought to plants; he has bound all creation in one by the
signification of things to one another; and by their special language。
A hundred years hence this earth will be m