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第8节

unconscious comedians-第8节

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hard!〃



〃What discount do you want?〃 asked Bixiou。



〃Next to nothing;〃 returned Vauvinet。 〃It will cost you a miserable

fifty francs at the end of the quarter。〃



〃As Emile Blondet used to say; you shall be my benefactor;〃 replied

Bixiou。



〃Twenty per cent!〃 whispered Gazonal to Bixiou; who replied by a punch

of his elbow in the provincial's oesophagus。



〃Bless me!〃 said Vauvinet opening a drawer in his desk as if to put

away the Ravenouillet notes; 〃here's an old bill of five hundred

francs stuck in the drawer! I didn't know I was so rich。 And here's a

note payable at the end of the month for four hundred and fifty;

Cerizet will take it without much diminution; and there's your sum in

hand。 But no nonsense; Bixiou! Hein? to…night; at Carabine's; will you

swear to me〃



〃Haven't we RE…friended?〃 said Bixiou; pocketing the five…hundred…

franc bill and the note for four hundred and fifty。 〃I give you my

word of honor that you shall see du Tillet; and many other men who

want to make their waytheir railwayto…night at Carabine's。〃



Vauvinet conducted the three friends to the landing of the staircase;

cajoling Bixiou on the way。 Bixiou kept a grave face till he reached

the outer door; listening to Gazonal; who tried to enlighten him on

his late operation; and to prove to him that if Vauvinet's follower;

Cerizet; took another twenty francs out of his four hundred and fifty;

he was getting money at forty per cent。



When they reached the asphalt Bixiou frightened Gazonal by the laugh

of a Parisian hoaxer;that cold; mute laugh; a sort of labial north

wind。



〃The assignment of the contract for that railway is adjourned;

positively; by the Chamber; I heard this yesterday from that marcheuse

whom we smiled at just now。 If I win five or six thousand francs at

lansquenet to…night; why should I grudge sixty…five francs for the

power to stake; hey?〃



〃Lansquenet is another of the thousand facets of Paris as it is;〃 said

Leon。 〃And therefore; cousin; I intend to present you to…night in the

salon of a duchess;a duchess of the rue Saint…Georges; where you

will see the aristocracy of the lorettes; and probably be able to win

your lawsuit。 But it is quite impossible to present you anywhere with

that mop of Pyrenean hair; you look like a porcupine; and therefore

we'll take you close by; Place de la Bourse; to Marius; another of our

comedians〃



〃Who is he?〃



〃I'll tell you his tale;〃 said Bixiou。 〃In the year 1800 a Toulousian

named Cabot; a young wig…maker devoured by ambition; came to Paris;

and set up a shop (I use your slang)。 This man of genius;he now has

an income of twenty…four thousand francs a year; and lives; retired

from business; at Libourne;well; he saw that so vulgar and ignoble a

name as Cabot could never attain celebrity。 Monsieur de Parny; whose

hair he cut; gave him the name of Marius; infinitely superior; you

perceive; to the Christian names of Armand and Hippolyte; behind which

patronymics attacked by the Cabot evil are wont to hide。 All the

successors of Cabot have called themselves Marius。 The present Marius

is Marius V。; his real name is Mongin。 This occurs in various other

trades; for 'Botot water;' and for 'Little…Virtue' ink。 Names become

commercial property in Paris; and have ended by constituting a sort of

ensign of nobility。 The present Marius; who takes pupils; has created;

he says; the leading school of hair…dressing in the world。



〃I've seen; in coming through France;〃 said Gazonal; 〃a great many

signs bearing the words: 'Such a one; pupil of Marius。'〃



〃His pupils have to wash their hands after every head;〃 said Bixiou;

〃but Marius does not take them indifferently; they must have nice

hands; and not be ill…looking。 The most remarkable for manners;

appearance; and elocution are sent out to dress heads; and they come

back tired to death。 Marius himself never turns out except for titled

women; he drives his cabriolet and has a groom。〃



〃But; after all; he is nothing but a barber!〃 cried Gazonal; somewhat

shocked。



〃Barber!〃 exclaimed Bixiou; 〃please remember that he is captain in the

National Guard; and is decorated for being the first to spring into a

barricade in 1832。〃



〃And take care what you say to him: he is neither barber; hair…

dresser; nor wig…maker; he is a director of salons for hair…dressing;〃

said Leon; as they went up a staircase with crystal balusters and

mahogany rail; the steps of which were covered with a sumptuous

carpet。



〃Ah ca! mind you don't compromise us;〃 said Bixiou。 〃In the

antechamber you'll see lacqueys who will take off your coat; and seize

your hat; to brush them; and they'll accompany you to the door of the

salons to open and shut it。 I mention this; friend Gazonal;〃 added

Bixiou; slyly; 〃lest you might think they were after your property;

and cry 'Stop thief!'〃



〃These salons;〃 said Leon; 〃are three boudoirs where the director has

collected all the inventions of modern luxury: lambrequins to the

windows; jardinieres everywhere; downy divans where each customer can

wait his turn and read the newspapers。 You might suppose; when you

first go in; that five francs would be the least they'd get out of

your waistcoat pocket; but nothing is ever extracted beyond ten sous

for combing and frizzing your hair; or twenty sous for cutting and

frizzing。 Elegant dressing…tables stand about among the jardinieres;

water is laid on to the washstands; enormous mirrors reproduce the

whole figure。 Therefore don't look astonished。 When the client (that's

the elegant word substituted by Marius for the ignoble word customer);

when the client appears at the door; Marius gives him a glance which

appraises him: to Marius you are a HEAD; more or less susceptible of

occupying his mind。 To him there's no mankind; there are only heads。〃



〃We let you hear Marius on all the notes of his scale;〃 said Bixiou;

〃and you know how to follow our lead。〃



As soon as Gazonal showed himself; the glance was given; and was

evidently favourable; for Marius exclaimed: 〃Regulus! yours this head!

Prepare it first with the little scissors。〃



〃Excuse me;〃 said Gazonal to the pupil; at a sign from Bixiou。 〃I

prefer to have my head dressed by Monsieur Marius himself。〃



Marius; much flattered by this demand; advanced; leaving the head on

which he was engaged。



〃I am with you in a moment; I am just finishing。 Pray have no

uneasiness; my pupil will prepare you; I alone will decide the cut。〃



Marius; a slim little man; his hair frizzed like that of Rubini; and

jet black; dressed also in black; with long white cuffs; and the frill

of his shirt adorned with a diamond; now saw Bixiou; to whom he bowed

as to a power the equal of his own。



〃That is only an ordinary head;〃 he said to Leon; pointing to the

person on whom he was operating;〃a grocer; or something of that

kind。 But if we devoted ourselves to art only; we should lie in

Bicetre; mad!〃 and he turned back with an inimitable gesture to his

client; after saying to Regulus; 〃Prepare monsieur; he is evidently an

artist。〃



〃A journalist;〃 said Bixiou。



Hearing that word; Marius gave two or three strokes of the comb to the

ordinary head and flung himself upon Gazonal; taking Regulus by the

arm at the instant that the pupil was about to begin the operation of

the little scissors。



〃I will take charge of monsieur。 Look; monsieur;〃 he said to the

grocer; 〃reflect yourself in the great mirrorif the mirror permits。

Ossian!〃



A lacquey entered; and took hold of the client to dress him。



〃You pay at the desk; monsieur;〃 said Marius to the stupefied grocer;

who was pulling out his purse。



〃Is there any use; my dear fellow;〃 said Bixiou; 〃in going through

this operation of the little scissors?〃



〃No head ever comes to me uncleansed;〃 replied the illustrious hair…

dresser; 〃but for your sake; I will do that of monsieur myself;

wholly。 My pupils sketch out the scheme; or my strength would not hold

out。 Every one says as you do: 'Dressed by Marius!' Therefore; I can

give only the finishing strokes。 What journal is monsieur on?〃



〃If I were you; I should keep three or four Mariuses;〃 said Gazonal。



〃Ah! monsieur; I see; is a feuilletonist;〃 said Marius。 〃Alas! in

dressing heads which expose us to notice it is impossible。 Excuse me!〃



He left Gazonal to overlook Regulus; who was 〃preparing〃 a newly

arrived head。 Tapping his tongue against his palate; he made a

disapproving noise; which may perhaps be written down as 〃titt; titt;

titt。〃



〃There; there! good heavens! that cut is not square; your scissors are

hacking it。 Here! see there! Regulus; you are not clipping poodles;

these are menwho have a character; if you continue to look at the

ceiling instead of looking only between the glass and the head; you

will dishonor my house。〃



〃You are stern; Monsieur Marius。〃



〃I owe them t

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