unconscious comedians-第8节

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hard！〃



〃What　discount　do　you　want？〃　asked　Bixiou。



〃Next　to　nothing；〃　returned　Vauvinet。　〃It　will　cost　you　a　miserable

fifty　francs　at　the　end　of　the　quarter。〃



〃As　Emile　Blondet　used　to　say；　you　shall　be　my　benefactor；〃　replied

Bixiou。



〃Twenty　per　cent！〃　whispered　Gazonal　to　Bixiou；　who　replied　by　a　punch

of　his　elbow　in　the　provincial's　oesophagus。



〃Bless　me！〃　said　Vauvinet　opening　a　drawer　in　his　desk　as　if　to　put

away　the　Ravenouillet　notes；　〃here's　an　old　bill　of　five　hundred

francs　stuck　in　the　drawer！　I　didn't　know　I　was　so　rich。　And　here's　a

note　payable　at　the　end　of　the　month　for　four　hundred　and　fifty；

Cerizet　will　take　it　without　much　diminution；　and　there's　your　sum　in

hand。　But　no　nonsense；　Bixiou！　Hein？　to…night；　at　Carabine's；　will　you

swear　to　me〃



〃Haven't　we　RE…friended？〃　said　Bixiou；　pocketing　the　five…hundred…

franc　bill　and　the　note　for　four　hundred　and　fifty。　〃I　give　you　my

word　of　honor　that　you　shall　see　du　Tillet；　and　many　other　men　who

want　to　make　their　waytheir　railwayto…night　at　Carabine's。〃



Vauvinet　conducted　the　three　friends　to　the　landing　of　the　staircase；

cajoling　Bixiou　on　the　way。　Bixiou　kept　a　grave　face　till　he　reached

the　outer　door；　listening　to　Gazonal；　who　tried　to　enlighten　him　on

his　late　operation；　and　to　prove　to　him　that　if　Vauvinet's　follower；

Cerizet；　took　another　twenty　francs　out　of　his　four　hundred　and　fifty；

he　was　getting　money　at　forty　per　cent。



When　they　reached　the　asphalt　Bixiou　frightened　Gazonal　by　the　laugh

of　a　Parisian　hoaxer；that　cold；　mute　laugh；　a　sort　of　labial　north

wind。



〃The　assignment　of　the　contract　for　that　railway　is　adjourned；

positively；　by　the　Chamber；　I　heard　this　yesterday　from　that　marcheuse

whom　we　smiled　at　just　now。　If　I　win　five　or　six　thousand　francs　at

lansquenet　to…night；　why　should　I　grudge　sixty…five　francs　for　the

power　to　stake；　hey？〃



〃Lansquenet　is　another　of　the　thousand　facets　of　Paris　as　it　is；〃　said

Leon。　〃And　therefore；　cousin；　I　intend　to　present　you　to…night　in　the

salon　of　a　duchess；a　duchess　of　the　rue　Saint…Georges；　where　you

will　see　the　aristocracy　of　the　lorettes；　and　probably　be　able　to　win

your　lawsuit。　But　it　is　quite　impossible　to　present　you　anywhere　with

that　mop　of　Pyrenean　hair；　you　look　like　a　porcupine；　and　therefore

we'll　take　you　close　by；　Place　de　la　Bourse；　to　Marius；　another　of　our

comedians〃



〃Who　is　he？〃



〃I'll　tell　you　his　tale；〃　said　Bixiou。　〃In　the　year　1800　a　Toulousian

named　Cabot；　a　young　wig…maker　devoured　by　ambition；　came　to　Paris；

and　set　up　a　shop　（I　use　your　slang）。　This　man　of　genius；he　now　has

an　income　of　twenty…four　thousand　francs　a　year；　and　lives；　retired

from　business；　at　Libourne；well；　he　saw　that　so　vulgar　and　ignoble　a

name　as　Cabot　could　never　attain　celebrity。　Monsieur　de　Parny；　whose

hair　he　cut；　gave　him　the　name　of　Marius；　infinitely　superior；　you

perceive；　to　the　Christian　names　of　Armand　and　Hippolyte；　behind　which

patronymics　attacked　by　the　Cabot　evil　are　wont　to　hide。　All　the

successors　of　Cabot　have　called　themselves　Marius。　The　present　Marius

is　Marius　V。；　his　real　name　is　Mongin。　This　occurs　in　various　other

trades；　for　'Botot　water；'　and　for　'Little…Virtue'　ink。　Names　become

commercial　property　in　Paris；　and　have　ended　by　constituting　a　sort　of

ensign　of　nobility。　The　present　Marius；　who　takes　pupils；　has　created；

he　says；　the　leading　school　of　hair…dressing　in　the　world。



〃I've　seen；　in　coming　through　France；〃　said　Gazonal；　〃a　great　many

signs　bearing　the　words：　'Such　a　one；　pupil　of　Marius。'〃



〃His　pupils　have　to　wash　their　hands　after　every　head；〃　said　Bixiou；

〃but　Marius　does　not　take　them　indifferently；　they　must　have　nice

hands；　and　not　be　ill…looking。　The　most　remarkable　for　manners；

appearance；　and　elocution　are　sent　out　to　dress　heads；　and　they　come

back　tired　to　death。　Marius　himself　never　turns　out　except　for　titled

women；　he　drives　his　cabriolet　and　has　a　groom。〃



〃But；　after　all；　he　is　nothing　but　a　barber！〃　cried　Gazonal；　somewhat

shocked。



〃Barber！〃　exclaimed　Bixiou；　〃please　remember　that　he　is　captain　in　the

National　Guard；　and　is　decorated　for　being　the　first　to　spring　into　a

barricade　in　1832。〃



〃And　take　care　what　you　say　to　him：　he　is　neither　barber；　hair…

dresser；　nor　wig…maker；　he　is　a　director　of　salons　for　hair…dressing；〃

said　Leon；　as　they　went　up　a　staircase　with　crystal　balusters　and

mahogany　rail；　the　steps　of　which　were　covered　with　a　sumptuous

carpet。



〃Ah　ca！　mind　you　don't　compromise　us；〃　said　Bixiou。　〃In　the

antechamber　you'll　see　lacqueys　who　will　take　off　your　coat；　and　seize

your　hat；　to　brush　them；　and　they'll　accompany　you　to　the　door　of　the

salons　to　open　and　shut　it。　I　mention　this；　friend　Gazonal；〃　added

Bixiou；　slyly；　〃lest　you　might　think　they　were　after　your　property；

and　cry　'Stop　thief！'〃



〃These　salons；〃　said　Leon；　〃are　three　boudoirs　where　the　director　has

collected　all　the　inventions　of　modern　luxury：　lambrequins　to　the

windows；　jardinieres　everywhere；　downy　divans　where　each　customer　can

wait　his　turn　and　read　the　newspapers。　You　might　suppose；　when　you

first　go　in；　that　five　francs　would　be　the　least　they'd　get　out　of

your　waistcoat　pocket；　but　nothing　is　ever　extracted　beyond　ten　sous

for　combing　and　frizzing　your　hair；　or　twenty　sous　for　cutting　and

frizzing。　Elegant　dressing…tables　stand　about　among　the　jardinieres；

water　is　laid　on　to　the　washstands；　enormous　mirrors　reproduce　the

whole　figure。　Therefore　don't　look　astonished。　When　the　client　（that's

the　elegant　word　substituted　by　Marius　for　the　ignoble　word　customer）；

when　the　client　appears　at　the　door；　Marius　gives　him　a　glance　which

appraises　him：　to　Marius　you　are　a　HEAD；　more　or　less　susceptible　of

occupying　his　mind。　To　him　there's　no　mankind；　there　are　only　heads。〃



〃We　let　you　hear　Marius　on　all　the　notes　of　his　scale；〃　said　Bixiou；

〃and　you　know　how　to　follow　our　lead。〃



As　soon　as　Gazonal　showed　himself；　the　glance　was　given；　and　was

evidently　favourable；　for　Marius　exclaimed：　〃Regulus！　yours　this　head！

Prepare　it　first　with　the　little　scissors。〃



〃Excuse　me；〃　said　Gazonal　to　the　pupil；　at　a　sign　from　Bixiou。　〃I

prefer　to　have　my　head　dressed　by　Monsieur　Marius　himself。〃



Marius；　much　flattered　by　this　demand；　advanced；　leaving　the　head　on

which　he　was　engaged。



〃I　am　with　you　in　a　moment；　I　am　just　finishing。　Pray　have　no

uneasiness；　my　pupil　will　prepare　you；　I　alone　will　decide　the　cut。〃



Marius；　a　slim　little　man；　his　hair　frizzed　like　that　of　Rubini；　and

jet　black；　dressed　also　in　black；　with　long　white　cuffs；　and　the　frill

of　his　shirt　adorned　with　a　diamond；　now　saw　Bixiou；　to　whom　he　bowed

as　to　a　power　the　equal　of　his　own。



〃That　is　only　an　ordinary　head；〃　he　said　to　Leon；　pointing　to　the

person　on　whom　he　was　operating；〃a　grocer；　or　something　of　that

kind。　But　if　we　devoted　ourselves　to　art　only；　we　should　lie　in

Bicetre；　mad！〃　and　he　turned　back　with　an　inimitable　gesture　to　his

client；　after　saying　to　Regulus；　〃Prepare　monsieur；　he　is　evidently　an

artist。〃



〃A　journalist；〃　said　Bixiou。



Hearing　that　word；　Marius　gave　two　or　three　strokes　of　the　comb　to　the

ordinary　head　and　flung　himself　upon　Gazonal；　taking　Regulus　by　the

arm　at　the　instant　that　the　pupil　was　about　to　begin　the　operation　of

the　little　scissors。



〃I　will　take　charge　of　monsieur。　Look；　monsieur；〃　he　said　to　the

grocer；　〃reflect　yourself　in　the　great　mirrorif　the　mirror　permits。

Ossian！〃



A　lacquey　entered；　and　took　hold　of　the　client　to　dress　him。



〃You　pay　at　the　desk；　monsieur；〃　said　Marius　to　the　stupefied　grocer；

who　was　pulling　out　his　purse。



〃Is　there　any　use；　my　dear　fellow；〃　said　Bixiou；　〃in　going　through

this　operation　of　the　little　scissors？〃



〃No　head　ever　comes　to　me　uncleansed；〃　replied　the　illustrious　hair…

dresser；　〃but　for　your　sake；　I　will　do　that　of　monsieur　myself；

wholly。　My　pupils　sketch　out　the　scheme；　or　my　strength　would　not　hold

out。　Every　one　says　as　you　do：　'Dressed　by　Marius！'　Therefore；　I　can

give　only　the　finishing　strokes。　What　journal　is　monsieur　on？〃



〃If　I　were　you；　I　should　keep　three　or　four　Mariuses；〃　said　Gazonal。



〃Ah！　monsieur；　I　see；　is　a　feuilletonist；〃　said　Marius。　〃Alas！　in

dressing　heads　which　expose　us　to　notice　it　is　impossible。　Excuse　me！〃



He　left　Gazonal　to　overlook　Regulus；　who　was　〃preparing〃　a　newly

arrived　head。　Tapping　his　tongue　against　his　palate；　he　made　a

disapproving　noise；　which　may　perhaps　be　written　down　as　〃titt；　titt；

titt。〃



〃There；　there！　good　heavens！　that　cut　is　not　square；　your　scissors　are

hacking　it。　Here！　see　there！　Regulus；　you　are　not　clipping　poodles；

these　are　menwho　have　a　character；　if　you　continue　to　look　at　the

ceiling　instead　of　looking　only　between　the　glass　and　the　head；　you

will　dishonor　my　house。〃



〃You　are　stern；　Monsieur　Marius。〃



〃I　owe　them　t