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第5节

unconscious comedians-第5节

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we call 'beaver' in the trade is neither more nor less than hare's…

skin。 The best qualities are made from the back of the animal; the

second from the sides; the third from the belly。 I confide to you

these trade secrets because you are men of honor。 But whether a man

has hare's…skin or silk on his head; fifteen or thirty francs in

short; the problem is always insoluble。 Hats must be paid for in cash;

and that is why the hat remains what it is。 The honor of vestural

France will be saved on the day that gray hats with round crowns can

be made to cost a hundred francs。 We could then; like the tailors;

give credit。 To reach that result men must resolve to wear buckles;

gold lace; plumes; and the brims lined with satin; as in the days of

Louis XIII。 and Louis XIV。 Our business; which would then enter the

domain of fancy; would increase tenfold。 The markets of the world

should belong to France; Paris will forever give the tone to women's

fashions; and yet the hats which all Frenchmen wear to…day are made in

every country on earth! There are ten millions of foreign money to be

gained annually for France in that question〃



〃A revolution!〃 cried Bixiou; pretending enthusiasm。



〃Yes; and a radical one; for the form must be changed。〃



〃You are happy after the manner of Luther in dreaming of reform;〃 said

Leon。



〃Yes; monsieur。 Ah! if a dozen or fifteen artists; capitalists; or

dandies who set the tone would only have courage for twenty…four hours

France would gain a splendid commercial battle! To succeed in this

reform I would give my whole fortune! Yes; my sole ambition is to

regenerate the hat and disappear。〃



〃The man is colossal;〃 said Gazonal; as they left the shop; 〃but I

assure you that all your originals so far have a touch of the

Southerner about them。〃



〃Let us go this way;〃 said Bixiou pointing to the rue Saint…Marc。



〃Do you want to show me something else?〃



〃Yes; you shall see the usuress of rats; marcheuses and great ladies;

a woman who possesses more terrible secrets than there are gowns

hanging in her window;〃 said Bixiou。



And he showed Gazonal one of those untidy shops which made an ugly

stain in the midst of the dazzling show…windows of modern retail

commerce。 This shop had a front painted in 1820; which some bankrupt

had doubtless left in a dilapidated condition。 The color had

disappeared beneath a double coating of dirt; the result of usage; and

a thick layer of dust; the window…panes were filthy; the door…knob

turned of itself; as door…knobs do in all places where people go out

more quickly than they enter。



〃What do you say of THAT? First cousin to Death; isn't she?〃 said Leon

in Gazonal's ear; showing him; at the desk; a terrible individual。

〃Well; she calls herself Madame Nourrisson。〃



〃Madame; how much is this guipure?〃 asked the manufacturer; intending

to compete in liveliness with the two artists。



〃To you; monsieur; who come from the country; it will be only three

hundred francs;〃 she replied。 Then; remarking in his manner a sort of

eagerness peculiar to Southerners; she added; in a grieved tone; 〃It

formerly belonged to that poor Princess de Lamballe。〃



〃What! do you dare exhibit it so near the palace?〃 cried Bixiou。



〃Monsieur; THEY don't believe in it;〃 she replied。



〃Madame; we have not come to make purchases;〃 said Bixiou; with a show

of frankness。



〃So I see; monsieur;〃 returned Madame Nourrisson。



〃We have several things to sell;〃 said the illustrious caricaturist。

〃I live close by; rue de Richelieu; 112; sixth floor。 If you will come

round there for a moment; you may perhaps make some good bargains。〃



Ten minutes later Madame Nourrisson did in fact present herself at

Bixiou's lodgings; where by that time he had taken Leon and Gazonal。

Madame Nourrisson found them all three as serious as authors whose

collaboration does not meet with the success it deserves。



〃Madame;〃 said the intrepid hoaxer; showing her a pair of women's

slippers; 〃these belonged formerly to the Empress Josephine。〃



He felt it incumbent on him to return change for the Prince de

Lamballe。



〃Those!〃 she exclaimed; 〃they were made this year; look at the mark。〃



〃Don't you perceive that the slippers are only by way of preface?〃

said Leon; 〃though; to be sure; they are usually the conclusion of a

tale。〃



〃My friend here;〃 said Bixiou; motioning to Gazonal; 〃has an immense

family interest in ascertaining whether a young lady of a good and

wealthy house; whom he wishes to marry; has ever gone wrong。〃



〃How much will monsieur give for the information;〃 she asked; looking

at Gazonal; who was no longer surprised by anything。



〃One hundred francs;〃 he said。



〃No; thank you!〃 she said with a grimace of refusal worthy of a macaw。



〃Then say how much you want; my little Madame Nourrisson;〃 cried

Bixiou catching her round the waist。



〃In the first place; my dear gentlemen; I have never; since I've been

in the business; found man or woman to haggle over happiness。

Besides;〃 she said; letting a cold smile flicker on her lips; and

enforcing it by an icy glance full of catlike distrust; 〃if it doesn't

concern your happiness; it concerns your fortune; and at the height

where I find you lodging no man haggles over a 'dot' Come;〃 she

said; 〃out with it! What is it you want to know; my lambs?〃



〃About the Beunier family;〃 replied Bixiou; very glad to find out

something in this indirect manner about persons in whom he was

interested。



〃Oh! as for that;〃 she said; 〃one louis is quite enough。〃



〃Why?〃



〃Because I hold all the mother's jewels and she's on tenter…hooks

every three months; I can tell you! It is hard work for her to pay the

interest on what I've lent her。 Do you want to marry there;

simpleton?〃 she added; addressing Gazonal; 〃then pay me forty francs

and I'll talk four hundred worth。〃



Gazonal produced a forty…franc gold…piece; and Madame Nourrisson gave

him startling details as to the secret penury of certain so…called

fashionable women。 This dealer in cast…off clothes; getting lively as

she talked; pictured herself unconsciously while telling of others。

Without betraying a single name or any secret; she made the three men

shudder by proving to them how little so…called happiness existed in

Paris that did not rest on the vacillating foundation of borrowed

money。 She possessed; laid away in her drawers; the secrets of

departed grandmothers; living children; deceased husbands; dead

granddaughters;memories set in gold and diamonds。 She learned

appalling stories by making her clients talk of one another; tearing

their secrets from them in moments of passion; of quarrels; of anger;

and during those cooler negotiations which need a loan to settle

difficulties。



〃Why were you ever induced to take up such a business?〃 asked Gazonal。



〃For my son's sake;〃 she said naively。



Such women almost invariably justify their trade by alleging noble

motives。 Madame Nourrisson posed as having lost several opportunities

for marriage; also three daughters who had gone to the bad; and all

her illusions。 She showed the pawn…tickets of the Mont…de…Piete to

prove the risks her business ran; declared that she did not know how

to meet the 〃end of the month〃; she was robbed; she said;ROBBED。



The two artists looked at each other on hearing that expression; which

seemed exaggerated。



〃Look here; my sons; I'll show you how we are DONE。 It is not about

myself; but about my opposite neighbour; Madame Mahuchet; a ladies'

shoemaker。 I had loaned money to a countess; a woman who has too many

passions for her means;lives in a fine apartment filled with

splendid furniture; and makes; as we say; a devil of a show with her

high and mighty airs。 She owed three hundred francs to her shoemaker;

and was giving a dinner no later than yesterday。 The shoemaker; who

heard of the dinner from the cook; came to see me; we got excited; and

she wanted to make a row; but I said: 'My dear Madame Mahuchet; what

good will that do? you'll only get yourself hated。 It is much better

to obtain some security; and you save your bile。' She wouldn't listen;

but go she would; and asked me to support her; so I went。 'Madame is

not at home。''Up to that! we'll wait;' said Madame Mahuchet; 'if we

have to stay all night;'and down we camped in the antechamber。

Presently the doors began to open and shut; and feet and voices came

along。 I felt badly。 The guests were arriving for dinner。 You can see

the appearance it had。 The countess sent her maid to coax Madame

Mahuchet: 'Pay you to…morrow!' in short; all the snares! Nothing took。

The countess; dressed to the nines; went to the dining…room。 Mahuchet

heard her and opened the door。 Gracious! when she saw that table

sparkling with silver; the covers to the dishes and the chandeliers

all glittering like a jewel…case; didn't she go off like soda…wate

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