unconscious comedians-第4节

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〃He　is　a　rude　fellow！〃　cried　the　Southerner　as　they　left　the　room。



〃His　paper　has　twenty…two　thousand　subscribers；〃　said　Leon　de　Lora。

〃He　is　one　of　the　five　great　powers　of　the　day；　and　he　hasn't；　in　the

morning；　the　time　to　be　polite。　Now；〃　continued　Leon；　speaking　to

Bixiou；　〃if　we　are　going　to　the　Chamber　to　help　him　with　his　lawsuit

let　us　take　the　longest　way　round。〃



〃Words　said　by　great　men　are　like　silver…gilt　spoons　with　the　gilt

washed　off；　by　dint　of　repetition　they　lose　their　brilliancy；〃　said

Bixiou。　〃Where　shall　we　go？〃



〃Here；　close　by；　to　our　hatter？〃　replied　Leon。



〃Bravo！〃　cried　Bixiou。　〃If　we　keep　on　in　this　way；　we　shall　have　an

amusing　day　of　it。〃



〃Gazonal；〃　said　Leon；　〃I　shall　make　the　man　pose　for　you；　but　mind

that　you　keep　a　serious　face；　like　the　king　on　a　five…franc　piece；　for

you　are　going　to　see　a　choice　original；　a　man　whose　importance　has

turned　his　head。　In　these　days；　my　dear　fellow；　under　our　new

political　dispensation；　every　human　being　tries　to　cover　himself　with

glory；　and　most　of　them　cover　themselves　with　ridicule；　hence　a　lot　of

living　caricatures　quite　new　to　the　world。〃



〃If　everybody　gets　glory；　who　can　be　famous？〃　said　Gazonal。



〃Fame！　none　but　fools　want　that；〃　replied　Bixiou。　〃Your　cousin　wears

the　cross；　but　I'm　the　better　dressed　of　the　two；　and　it　is　I　whom

people　are　looking　at。〃



After　this　remark；　which　may　explain　why　orators　and　other　great

statesmen　no　longer　put　the　ribbon　in　their　buttonholes　when　in　Paris；

Leon　showed　Gazonal　a　sign；　bearing；　in　golden　letters；　the

illustrious　name　of　〃Vital；　successor　to　Finot；　manufacturer　of　hats〃

（no　longer　〃hatter〃　as　formerly）；　whose　advertisements　brought　in　more

money　to　the　newspapers　than　those　of　any　half…dozen　vendors　of　pills

or　sugarplums；the　author；　moreover；　of　an　essay　on　hats。



〃My　dear　fellow；〃　said　Bixiou　to　Gazonal；　pointing　to　the　splendors　of

the　show…window；　〃Vital　has　forty　thousand　francs　a　year　from　invested

property。〃



〃And　he　stays　a　hatter！〃　cried　the　Southerner；　with　a　bound　that

almost　broke　the　arm　which　Bixiou　had　linked　in　his。



〃You　shall　see　the　man；〃　said　Leon。　〃You　need　a　hat　and　you　shall　have

one　gratis。〃



〃Is　Monsieur　Vital　absent？〃　asked　Bixiou；　seeing　no　one　behind　the

desk。



〃Monsieur　is　correcting　proof　in　his　study；〃　replied　the　head　clerk。



〃Hein！　what　style！〃　said　Leon　to　his　cousin；　then　he　added；　addressing

the　clerk：　〃Could　we　speak　to　him　without　injury　to　his　inspiration？〃



〃Let　those　gentlemen　enter；〃　said　a　voice。



It　was　a　bourgeois　voice；　the　voice　of　one　eligible　to　the　Chamber；　a

powerful　voice；　a　wealthy　voice。



Vital　deigned　to　show　himself；　dressed　entirely　in　black　cloth；　with　a

splendid　frilled　shirt　adorned　with　one　diamond。　The　three　friends

observed　a　young　and　pretty　woman　sitting　near　the　desk；　working　at

some　embroidery。



Vital　is　a　man　between　thirty　and　forty　years　of　age；　with　a　natural

joviality　now　repressed　by　ambitious　ideas。　He　is　blessed　with　that

medium　height　which　is　the　privilege　of　sound　organizations。　He　is

rather　plump；　and　takes　great　pains　with　his　person。　His　forehead　is

getting　bald；　but　he　uses　that　circumstance　to　give　himself　the　air　of

a　man　consumed　by　thought。　It　is　easy　to　see　by　the　way　his　wife　looks

at　him　and　listens　to　him　that　she　believes　in　the　genius　and　glory　of

her　husband。　Vital　loves　artists；　not　that　he　has　any　taste　for　art；

but　from　fellowship；　for　he　feels　himself　an　artist；　and　makes　this

felt　by　disclaiming　that　title　of　nobility；　and　placing　himself　with

constant　premeditation　at　so　great　a　distance　from　the　arts　that

persons　may　be　forced　to　say　to　him：　〃You　have　raised　the　construction

of　hats　to　the　height　of　a　science。〃



〃Have　you　at　last　discovered　a　hat　to　suit　me？〃　asked　Leon　de　Lora。



〃Why；　monsieur！　in　fifteen　days？〃　replied　Vital；　〃and　for　you！　Two

months　would　hardly　suffice　to　invent　a　shape　in　keeping　with　your

countenance。　See；　here　is　your　lithographic　portrait：　I　have　studied

it　most　carefully。　I　would　not　give　myself　that　trouble　for　a　prince；

but　you　are　more；　you　are　an　artist；　and　you　understand　me。〃



〃This　is　one　of　our　greatest　inventors；〃　said　Bixiou　presenting

Gazonal。　〃He　might　be　as　great　as　Jacquart　if　he　would　only　let

himself　die。　Our　friend；　a　manufacturer　of　cloth；　has　discovered　a

method　of　replacing　the　indigo　in　old　blue　coats；　and　he　wants　to　see

you　as　another　great　phenomenon；　because　he　has　heard　of　your　saying；

'The　hat　is　the　man。'　That　speech　of　yours　enraptured　him。　Ah！　Vital；

you　have　faith；　you　believe　in　something；　you　have　enthusiasm　for　your

work。〃



Vital　scarcely　listened；　he　grew　pale　with　pleasure。



〃Rise；　my　wife！　Monsieur　is　a　man　of　science。〃



Madame　Vital　rose　at　her　husband's　gesture。　Gazonal　bowed　to　her。



〃Shall　I　have　the　honor　to　cover　your　head？〃　said　Vital；　with　joyful

obsequiousness。



〃At　the　same　price　as　mine；〃　interposed　Bixiou。



〃Of　course；　of　course；　I　ask　no　other　fee　than　to　be　quoted　by　you；

messieurs　Monsieur　needs　a　picturesque　hat；　something　in　the　style

of　Monsieur　Lousteau's；〃　he　continued；　looking　at　Gazonal　with　the　eye

of　a　master。　〃I　will　consider　it。〃



〃You　give　yourself　a　great　deal　of　trouble；〃　said　Gazonal。



〃Oh！　for　a　few　persons　only；　for　those　who　know　how　to　appreciate　the

value　of　the　pains　I　bestow　upon　them。　Now；　take　the　aristocracy

there　is　but　one　man　there　who　has　truly　comprehended　the　Hat；　and

that　is　the　Prince　de　Bethune。　How　is　it　that　men　do　not　consider；　as

women　do；　that　the　hat　is　the　first　thing　that　strikes　the　eye？　And

why　have　they　never　thought　of　changing　the　present　system；　which　is；

let　us　say　it　frankly；　ignoble？　Yes；　ignoble；　and　yet　a　Frenchman　is；

of　all　nationalities；　the　one　most　persistent　in　this　folly！　I　know

the　difficulties　of　a　change；　messieurs。　I　don't　speak　of　my　own

writings　on　the　matter；　which；　as　I　think；　approach　it

philosophically；　but　simply　as　a　hatter。　I　have　myself　studied　means

to　accentuate　the　infamous　head…covering　to　which　France　is　now

enslaved　until　I　succeed　in　overthrowing　it。



So　saying　he　pointed　to　the　hideous　hat　in　vogue　at　the　present　day。



〃Behold　the　enemy；　messieurs；〃　he　continued。　〃How　is　it　that　the

wittiest　and　most　satirical　people　on　earth　will　consent　to　wear　upon

their　heads　a　bit　of　stove…pipe？as　one　of　our　great　writers　has

called　it。　Here　are　some　of　the　infections　I　have　been　able　to　give　to

those　atrocious　lines；〃　he　added；　pointing　to　a　number　of　his

creations。　〃But；　although　I　am　able　to　conform　them　to　the　character

of　each　wearerfor；　as　you　see；　there　are　the　hats　of　a　doctor；　a

grocer；　a　dandy；　an　artist；　a　fat　man；　a　thin　man；　and　so　forththe

style　itself　remains　horrible。　Seize；　I　beg　of　you；　my　whole

thought〃



He　took　up　a　hat；　low…crowned　and　wide…brimmed。



〃This；〃　he　continued；　〃is　the　old　hat　of　Claude　Vignon；　a　great

critic；　in　the　days　when　he　was　a　free　man　and　a　free…liver。　He　has

lately　come　round　to　the　ministry；　they've　made　him　a　professor；　a

librarian；　he　writes　now　for　the　Debats　only；　they've　appointed　him

Master　of　Petitions　with　a　salary　of　sixteen　thousand　francs；　he　earns

four　thousand　more　out　of　his　paper；　and　he　is　decorated。　Well；　now

see　his　new　hat。〃



And　Vital　showed　them　a　hat　of　a　form　and　design　which　was　truly

expressive　of　the　juste…milieu。



〃You　ought　to　have　made　him　a　Punch　and　Judy　hat！〃　cried　Gazonal。



〃You　are　a　man　of　genius；　Monsieur　Vital；〃　said　Leon。



Vital　bowed。



〃Would　you　kindly　tell　me　why　the　shops　of　your　trade　in　Paris　remain

open　late　at　night；later　than　the　cafes　and　the　wineshops？　That　fact

puzzles　me　very　much；〃　said　Gazonal。



〃In　the　first　place；　our　shops　are　much　finer　when　lighted　up　than

they　are　in　the　daytime；　next；　where　we　sell　ten　hats　in　the　daytime

we　sell　fifty　at　night。〃



〃Everything　is　queer　in　Paris；〃　said　Leon。



〃Thanks　to　my　efforts　and　my　successes；〃　said　Vital；　returning　to　the

course　of　his　self…laudation；　〃we　are　coming　to　hats　with　round

headpieces。　It　is　to　that　I　tend！〃



〃What　obstacle　is　there？〃　asked　Gazonal。



〃Cheapness；　monsieur。　In　the　first　place；　very　handsome　silk　hats　can

be　built　for　fifteen　francs；　which　kills　our　business；　for　in　Paris　no

one　ever　has　fifteen　francs　in　his　pocket　to　spend　on　a　hat。　If　a

beaver　hat　costs　thirty；　it　is　still　the　same　thing　When　I　say

beaver；　I　ought　to　state　that　there　are　not　ten　pounds　of　beaver　skins

left　in　France。　That　article　is　worth　three　hundred　and　fifty　francs　a

pound；　and　it　takes　an　ounce　for　a　hat。　Besides；　a　beaver　hat　isn't

really　worth　anything；　the　skin　takes　a　wretched　dye；　gets　rusty　in

ten　minutes　under　the　sun；　and　heat　puts　it　out　of　shape　as　well。　What

we　call　'beaver'　in　the　trade　is　neither　more　nor　less　than　hare's…

skin。　The　best　qualities　are　made　from