unconscious comedians-第11节

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glance；　with　a　sense　of　nausea。　It　was　all　quite　otherwise　alarming

than　the　romantic　tales　and　scenes　of　German　drama　lead　one　to　expect；

here　was　suffocating　actuality。　The　air　diffused　a　sort　of　dizzy

heaviness；　the　dim　light　rasped　the　nerves。　When　the　Southerner；

impelled　by　a　species　of　self…assertion；　gazed　firmly　at　the　toad；　he

felt　a　sort　of　emetic　heat　at　the　pit　of　his　stomach；　and　was

conscious　of　a　terror　like　that　a　criminal　might　feel　in　presence　of　a

gendarme。　He　endeavoured　to　brace　himself　by　looking　at　Madame

Fontaine；　but　there　he　encountered　two　almost　white　eyes；　the

motionless　and　icy　pupils　of　which　were　absolutely　intolerable　to　him。

The　silence　became　terrifying。



〃Which　do　you　wish；　monsieur；　the　five…franc　fortune；　the　ten…franc

fortune；　or　the　grand　game？〃



〃The　five…franc　fortune　is　dear　enough；〃　replied　the　Southerner；

making　powerful　efforts　not　to　yield　to　the　influence　of　the

surroundings　in　which　he　found　himself。



At　the　moment　when　Gazonal　was　thus　endeavouring　to　collect　himself；　a

voicean　infernal　voicemade　him　bound　in　his　chair；　the　black　hen

clucked。



〃Go　back；　my　daughter；　go　back；　monsieur　chooses　to　spend　only　five

francs。〃



The　hen　seemed　to　understand　her　mistress；　for；　after　coming　within　a

foot　of　the　cards；　she　turned　and　resumed　her　former　place。



〃What　flower　to　you　like　best？〃　asked　the　old　woman；　in　a　voice

hoarsened　by　the　phlegm　which　seemed　to　rise　and　fall　incessantly　in

her　bronchial　tubes。



〃The　rose。〃



〃What　color　are　you　fond　of？〃



〃Blue。〃



〃What　animal　do　you　prefer？〃



〃The　horse。　Why　these　questions？〃　he　asked。



〃Man　derives　his　form　from　his　anterior　states；〃　she　said

sententiously。　〃Hence　his　instincts；　and　his　instincts　rule　his

destiny。　What　food　do　you　like　best　to　eat；fish；　game；　cereals；

butcher's　meat；　sweet　things；　vegetables；　or　fruits？〃



〃Game。〃



〃In　what　month　where　you　born？〃



〃September。〃



〃Put　out　your　hand。〃



Madame　Fontaine　looked　attentively　at　the　lines　of　the　hand　that　was

shown　to　her。　It　was　all　done　seriously；　with　no　pretence　of　sorcery；

on　the　contrary；　with　the　simplicity　a　notary　might　have　shown　when

asking　the　intentions　of　a　client　about　a　deed。　Presently　she　shuffled

the　cards；　and　asked　Gazonal　to　cut　them；　and　then　to　make　three　packs

of　them　himself。　After　which　she　took　the　packs；　spread　them　out

before　her；　and　examined　them　as　a　gambler　examines　the　thirty…six

numbers　at　roulette　before　he　risks　his　stake。　Gazonal's　bones　were

freezing；　he　seemed　not　to　know　where　he　was；　but　his　amazement　grew

greater　and　greater　when　this　hideous　old　woman　in　a　green　bonnet；

stout　and　squat；　whose　false　front　was　frizzed　into　points　of

interrogation；　proceeded；　in　a　thick　voice；　to　relate　to　him　all　the

particular　circumstances；　even　the　most　secret；　of　his　past　life：　she

told　him　his　tastes；　his　habits；　his　character；　the　thoughts　of　his

childhood；　everything　that　had　influenced　his　life；　a　marriage　broken

off；　why；　with　whom；　the　exact　description　of　the　woman　he　had　loved；

and；　finally；　the　place　he　came　from；　his　lawsuit；　etc。



Gazonal　at　first　thought　it　was　a　hoax　prepared　by　his　companions；　but

the　absolute　impossibility　of　such　a　conspiracy　appeared　to　him　almost

as　soon　as　the　idea　itself；　and　he　sat　speechless　before　that　truly

infernal　power；　the　incarnation　of　which　borrowed　from　humanity　a　form

which　the　imagination　of　painters　and　poets　has　throughout　all　ages

regarded　as　the　most　awful　of　created　things；namely；　a　toothless；

hideous；　wheezing　hag；　with　cold　lips；　flattened　nose；　and　whitish

eyes。　The　pupils　of　those　eyes　had　brightened；　through　them　rushed　a

ray；was　it　from　the　depths　of　the　future　or　from　hell？



Gazonal　asked；　interrupting　the　old　creature；　of　what　use　the　toad　and

the　hen　were　to　her。



〃They　predict　the　future。　The　consulter　himself　throws　grain　upon　the

cards；　Bilouche　comes　and　pecks　it。　Astaroth　crawls　over　the　cards　to

get　the　food　the　client　holds　for　him；　and　those　two　wonderful

intelligences　are　never　mistaken。　Will　you　see　them　at　work？you　will

then　know　your　future。　The　cost　is　a　hundred　francs。〃



Gazonal；　horrified　by　the　gaze　of　Astaroth；　rushed　into　the

antechamber；　after　bowing　to　the　terrible　old　woman。　He　was　moist　from

head　to　foot；　as　if　under　the　incubation　of　some　evil　spirit。



〃Let　us　get　away！〃　he　said　to　the　two　artists。　〃Did　you　ever　consult

that　sorceress？〃



〃I　never　do　anything　important　without　getting　Astaroth's　opinion；〃

said　Leon；　〃and　I　am　always　the　better　for　it。〃



〃I'm　expecting　the　virtuous　fortune　which　Bilouche　has　promised　me；〃

said　Bixiou。



〃I've　a　fever；〃　cried　Gazonal。　〃If　I　believed　what　you　say　I　should

have　to　believe　in　sorcery；　in　some　supernatural　power。〃



〃It　may　be　only　natural；〃　said　Bixiou。　〃One…third　of　all　the　lorettes；

one…fourth　of　all　the　statesmen；　and　one…half　of　all　artists　consult

Madame　Fontaine；　and　I　know　a　minister　to　whom　she　is　an　Egeria。〃



〃Did　she　tell　you　about　your　future？〃　asked　Leon。



〃No；　I　had　enough　of　her　about　my　past。　But；〃　added　Gazonal；　struck　by

a　sudden　thought；　〃if　she　can；　by　the　help　of　those　dreadful

collaborators；　predict　the　future；　how　came　she　to　lose　in　the

lottery？〃



〃Ah！　you　put　your　finger　on　one　of　the　greatest　mysteries　of　occult

science；〃　replied　Leon。　〃The　moment　that　the　species　of　inward　mirror

on　which　the　past　or　the　future　is　reflected　to　their　minds　become

clouded　by　the　breath　of　a　personal　feeling；　by　an　idea　foreign　to　the

purpose　of　the　power　they　are　exerting；　sorcerers　and　sorceresses　can

see　nothing；　just　as　an　artist　who　blurs　art　with　political

combinations　and　systems　loses　his　genius。　Not　long　ago；　a　man　endowed

with　the　gift　of　divining　by　cards；　a　rival　to　Madame　Fontaine；　became

addicted　to　vicious　practices；　and　being　unable　to　tell　his　own　fate

from　the　cards；　was　arrested；　tried；　and　condemned　at　the　court　of

assizes。　Madame　Fontaine；　who　predicts　the　future　eight　times　out　of

ten；　was　never　able　to　know　if　she　would　win　or　lose　in　a　lottery。〃



〃It　is　the　same　thing　in　magnetism；〃　remarked　Bixiou。　〃A　man　can't

magnetize　himself。〃



〃Heavens！　now　we　come　to　magnetism！〃　cried　Gazonal。　〃Ah　ca！　do　you

know　everything？〃



〃Friend　Gazonal；〃　replied　Bixiou；　gravely；　〃to　be　able　to　laugh　at

everything　one　must　know　everything。　As　for　me；　I've　been　in　Paris

since　my　childhood；　I've　lived；　by　means　of　my　pencil；　on　its　follies

and　absurdities；　at　the　rate　of　five　caricatures　a　month。

Consequently；　I　often　laugh　at　ideas　in　which　I　have　faith。〃



〃Come；　let　us　get　to　something　else；〃　said　Leon。　〃We'll　go　to　the

Chamber　and　settle　the　cousin's　affair。〃



〃This；〃　said　Bixiou；　imitating　Odry　in　〃Les　Funambules；〃　〃is　high

comedy；　for　we　will　make　the　first　orator　we　meet　pose　for　us；　and　you

shall　see　that　in　those　halls　of　legislation；　as　elsewhere；　the

Parisian　language　has　but　two　tones；Self…interest；　Vanity。〃



As　they　got　into　their　citadine；　Leon　saw　in　a　rapidly　driven

cabriolet　a　man　to　whom　he　made　a　sign　that　he　had　something　to　say　to

him。



〃There's　Publicola　Masson；〃　said　Leon　to　Bixiou。　〃I'm　going　to　ask　for

a　sitting　this　evening　at　five　o'clock；　after　the　Chamber。　The　cousin

shall　then　see　the　most　curious　of　all　the　originals。〃



〃Who　is　he？〃　asked　Gazonal；　while　Leon　went　to　speak　to　Publicola

Masson。



〃An　artist…pedicure；〃　replied　Bixiou；　〃author　of　a　'Treatise　on

Corporistics；'　who　cuts　your　corns　by　subscription；　and　who；　if　the

Republications　triumph　for　six　months；　will　assuredly　become

immortal。〃



〃Drives　his　carriage！〃　ejaculated　Gazonal。



〃But；　my　good　Gazonal；　it　is　only　millionaires　who　have　time　to　go

afoot　in　Paris。〃



〃To　the　Chamber！〃　cried　Leon　to　the　coachman；　getting　back　into　the

carriage。



〃Which；　monsieur？〃



〃Deputies；〃　replied　Leon；　exchanging　a　smile　with　Bixiou。



〃Paris　begins　to　confound　me；〃　said　Gazonal。



〃To　make　you　see　its　immensity；moral；　political；　and　literary；we

are　now　proceeding　like　the　Roman　cicerone；　who　shows　you　in　Saint

Peter's　the　thumb　of　the　statue　you　took　to　be　life…size；　and　the

thumb　proves　to　be　a　foot　long。　You　haven't　yet　measured　so　much　as　a

great　toe　of　Paris。〃



〃And　remark；　cousin　Gazonal；　that　we　take　things　as　they　come；　we

haven't　selected。〃



〃This　evening　you　shall　sup　as　they　feasted　at　Belshazzar's；　and　there

you　shall　see　our　Paris；　our　own　particular　Paris；　playing　lansquenet；

and　risking　a　hundred　thousand　francs　at　a　throw　without　winking。〃



A　quarter　of　an　hour　later　the　citadine　stopped　at　the　foot　of　the

steps　going　up　to　the　Chamber　of　Deputies；　at　that　end　of　the　Pont　de

la　Concorde　which　leads　to　discord。



〃I　thought　the　Chamber　unapproachable？〃　said　the　provincial；　surprised

to　find　himself　in　the　great　lobby。



〃That　depends；〃　replied　Bix