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第11节

unconscious comedians-第11节

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glance; with a sense of nausea。 It was all quite otherwise alarming

than the romantic tales and scenes of German drama lead one to expect;

here was suffocating actuality。 The air diffused a sort of dizzy

heaviness; the dim light rasped the nerves。 When the Southerner;

impelled by a species of self…assertion; gazed firmly at the toad; he

felt a sort of emetic heat at the pit of his stomach; and was

conscious of a terror like that a criminal might feel in presence of a

gendarme。 He endeavoured to brace himself by looking at Madame

Fontaine; but there he encountered two almost white eyes; the

motionless and icy pupils of which were absolutely intolerable to him。

The silence became terrifying。



〃Which do you wish; monsieur; the five…franc fortune; the ten…franc

fortune; or the grand game?〃



〃The five…franc fortune is dear enough;〃 replied the Southerner;

making powerful efforts not to yield to the influence of the

surroundings in which he found himself。



At the moment when Gazonal was thus endeavouring to collect himself; a

voicean infernal voicemade him bound in his chair; the black hen

clucked。



〃Go back; my daughter; go back; monsieur chooses to spend only five

francs。〃



The hen seemed to understand her mistress; for; after coming within a

foot of the cards; she turned and resumed her former place。



〃What flower to you like best?〃 asked the old woman; in a voice

hoarsened by the phlegm which seemed to rise and fall incessantly in

her bronchial tubes。



〃The rose。〃



〃What color are you fond of?〃



〃Blue。〃



〃What animal do you prefer?〃



〃The horse。 Why these questions?〃 he asked。



〃Man derives his form from his anterior states;〃 she said

sententiously。 〃Hence his instincts; and his instincts rule his

destiny。 What food do you like best to eat;fish; game; cereals;

butcher's meat; sweet things; vegetables; or fruits?〃



〃Game。〃



〃In what month where you born?〃



〃September。〃



〃Put out your hand。〃



Madame Fontaine looked attentively at the lines of the hand that was

shown to her。 It was all done seriously; with no pretence of sorcery;

on the contrary; with the simplicity a notary might have shown when

asking the intentions of a client about a deed。 Presently she shuffled

the cards; and asked Gazonal to cut them; and then to make three packs

of them himself。 After which she took the packs; spread them out

before her; and examined them as a gambler examines the thirty…six

numbers at roulette before he risks his stake。 Gazonal's bones were

freezing; he seemed not to know where he was; but his amazement grew

greater and greater when this hideous old woman in a green bonnet;

stout and squat; whose false front was frizzed into points of

interrogation; proceeded; in a thick voice; to relate to him all the

particular circumstances; even the most secret; of his past life: she

told him his tastes; his habits; his character; the thoughts of his

childhood; everything that had influenced his life; a marriage broken

off; why; with whom; the exact description of the woman he had loved;

and; finally; the place he came from; his lawsuit; etc。



Gazonal at first thought it was a hoax prepared by his companions; but

the absolute impossibility of such a conspiracy appeared to him almost

as soon as the idea itself; and he sat speechless before that truly

infernal power; the incarnation of which borrowed from humanity a form

which the imagination of painters and poets has throughout all ages

regarded as the most awful of created things;namely; a toothless;

hideous; wheezing hag; with cold lips; flattened nose; and whitish

eyes。 The pupils of those eyes had brightened; through them rushed a

ray;was it from the depths of the future or from hell?



Gazonal asked; interrupting the old creature; of what use the toad and

the hen were to her。



〃They predict the future。 The consulter himself throws grain upon the

cards; Bilouche comes and pecks it。 Astaroth crawls over the cards to

get the food the client holds for him; and those two wonderful

intelligences are never mistaken。 Will you see them at work?you will

then know your future。 The cost is a hundred francs。〃



Gazonal; horrified by the gaze of Astaroth; rushed into the

antechamber; after bowing to the terrible old woman。 He was moist from

head to foot; as if under the incubation of some evil spirit。



〃Let us get away!〃 he said to the two artists。 〃Did you ever consult

that sorceress?〃



〃I never do anything important without getting Astaroth's opinion;〃

said Leon; 〃and I am always the better for it。〃



〃I'm expecting the virtuous fortune which Bilouche has promised me;〃

said Bixiou。



〃I've a fever;〃 cried Gazonal。 〃If I believed what you say I should

have to believe in sorcery; in some supernatural power。〃



〃It may be only natural;〃 said Bixiou。 〃One…third of all the lorettes;

one…fourth of all the statesmen; and one…half of all artists consult

Madame Fontaine; and I know a minister to whom she is an Egeria。〃



〃Did she tell you about your future?〃 asked Leon。



〃No; I had enough of her about my past。 But;〃 added Gazonal; struck by

a sudden thought; 〃if she can; by the help of those dreadful

collaborators; predict the future; how came she to lose in the

lottery?〃



〃Ah! you put your finger on one of the greatest mysteries of occult

science;〃 replied Leon。 〃The moment that the species of inward mirror

on which the past or the future is reflected to their minds become

clouded by the breath of a personal feeling; by an idea foreign to the

purpose of the power they are exerting; sorcerers and sorceresses can

see nothing; just as an artist who blurs art with political

combinations and systems loses his genius。 Not long ago; a man endowed

with the gift of divining by cards; a rival to Madame Fontaine; became

addicted to vicious practices; and being unable to tell his own fate

from the cards; was arrested; tried; and condemned at the court of

assizes。 Madame Fontaine; who predicts the future eight times out of

ten; was never able to know if she would win or lose in a lottery。〃



〃It is the same thing in magnetism;〃 remarked Bixiou。 〃A man can't

magnetize himself。〃



〃Heavens! now we come to magnetism!〃 cried Gazonal。 〃Ah ca! do you

know everything?〃



〃Friend Gazonal;〃 replied Bixiou; gravely; 〃to be able to laugh at

everything one must know everything。 As for me; I've been in Paris

since my childhood; I've lived; by means of my pencil; on its follies

and absurdities; at the rate of five caricatures a month。

Consequently; I often laugh at ideas in which I have faith。〃



〃Come; let us get to something else;〃 said Leon。 〃We'll go to the

Chamber and settle the cousin's affair。〃



〃This;〃 said Bixiou; imitating Odry in 〃Les Funambules;〃 〃is high

comedy; for we will make the first orator we meet pose for us; and you

shall see that in those halls of legislation; as elsewhere; the

Parisian language has but two tones;Self…interest; Vanity。〃



As they got into their citadine; Leon saw in a rapidly driven

cabriolet a man to whom he made a sign that he had something to say to

him。



〃There's Publicola Masson;〃 said Leon to Bixiou。 〃I'm going to ask for

a sitting this evening at five o'clock; after the Chamber。 The cousin

shall then see the most curious of all the originals。〃



〃Who is he?〃 asked Gazonal; while Leon went to speak to Publicola

Masson。



〃An artist…pedicure;〃 replied Bixiou; 〃author of a 'Treatise on

Corporistics;' who cuts your corns by subscription; and who; if the

Republications triumph for six months; will assuredly become

immortal。〃



〃Drives his carriage!〃 ejaculated Gazonal。



〃But; my good Gazonal; it is only millionaires who have time to go

afoot in Paris。〃



〃To the Chamber!〃 cried Leon to the coachman; getting back into the

carriage。



〃Which; monsieur?〃



〃Deputies;〃 replied Leon; exchanging a smile with Bixiou。



〃Paris begins to confound me;〃 said Gazonal。



〃To make you see its immensity;moral; political; and literary;we

are now proceeding like the Roman cicerone; who shows you in Saint

Peter's the thumb of the statue you took to be life…size; and the

thumb proves to be a foot long。 You haven't yet measured so much as a

great toe of Paris。〃



〃And remark; cousin Gazonal; that we take things as they come; we

haven't selected。〃



〃This evening you shall sup as they feasted at Belshazzar's; and there

you shall see our Paris; our own particular Paris; playing lansquenet;

and risking a hundred thousand francs at a throw without winking。〃



A quarter of an hour later the citadine stopped at the foot of the

steps going up to the Chamber of Deputies; at that end of the Pont de

la Concorde which leads to discord。



〃I thought the Chamber unapproachable?〃 said the provincial; surprised

to find himself in the great lobby。



〃That depends;〃 replied Bix

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