jeremy-第48节
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and the dark river。
He did not see it all as he sat on his horsehe was； as yet； too
young； but he did feel the contrast between the din and glare around
him and the silence and dark beyond； and； afterwards； looking back；
he knew that he had found in that same contrast the very heart of
romance。 As it was； he simply clutched his horse's beautiful head
and waited for the ride to begin。 。 。
They were off！ He felt his horse quiver under him； he saw the
mansions of the Two…Headed Giant and the Fat Lady slip to the right；
the light seemed to swing like the skirt of someone's dress； upwards
across the floor； and from the heart of the golden woman and the
king and the minstrel a scream burst forth as though they were
announcing the end of the world。 After that he had no clear idea as
to what occurred。 He was swung into space； and all the life that had
been so stationary； the booths； the lights； the men and women； the
very stars went swinging with him as though to cheer him on； the
horse under him galloped before； and the faster he galloped the
wilder was the music and the dizzier the world。 He was exultant；
omnipotent； supreme。 He had long known that this glory was somewhere
if it could only he found； all his days he seemed to have been
searching for it； he beat his horse's neck； he drove his legs
against his sides。 〃Go on！ Go on！ Go on！〃 he cried。 〃Faster！ Faster！
Faster！〃
The strangest things seemed to rise to his notice and then fall
againa peaked policeman's hat； flowers； a sudden flame of gas； the
staring eyes and dead white arms of the golden woman； the flying
forms of the horses in front of him。 All the world was on horseback；
all the world was racing higher and higher； faster and faster。 He
saw someone near him rise on to his horse's back and stand on it；
waving his arms。 He would like to have done that； but he found that
he was part of his horse； as though he had been glued to it。 He
shouted； he cried aloud； he was so happy that he thought of no one
and nothing。 。 。 The flame danced about him in a circle； he seemed
to rise so high that there was a sudden stillness； he was in the
very heart of the stars； then came the supreme moment when； as he
had always known； that one day he would be； he was master of the
world。 。 。 Then； like Lucifer； he fell。 Slowly the stars receded；
the music slackened； people rocked on to their feet again。 。 。 The
Two…Headed Giant slipped hack once more into his place； he saw the
sinister lady still devouring her supper； women looking up at him
gaped。 His horse gave a last little leap and died。
This marvellous experience he repeated four times； and every time
with an ecstasy more complete than the last。 He rushed to a height；
he fell； he rushed again； he fell； and at every return to a sober
life his one intention was instantly to be off on his steed once
more。 He was about to start on his fifth journey； he had paid his
halfpenny； he was sitting forward with his hands on the black mane；
his eyes； staring； were filled already with the glory that he knew
was coming to him； his cheeks were crimson； his hat on the back of
his head； his hair flying。 He heard a voice； quiet and cool； a
little below him； but very near：
〃Jeremy。 。 。 Jeremy。 Come off that。 You've got to go home。〃
He looked down and saw his Uncle Samuel。
IV
It was all over； he knew at once that it was all over。
As he slipped down from his dear horse he gave the glossy dark mane
one last pat； then； with a little sigh； he found his feet； stumbled
over the wooden steps and was at his uncle's side。
Uncle Samuel looked queer enough with a squashy black hat； a black
cloak flung over his shoulders； and a large cherry…wood pipe in his
mouth。 Jeremy looked up at him defiantly。
〃Well；〃 said Uncle Samuel sarcastically。 〃It's nothing to you； I
suppose； that the town…crier is at this moment ringing his bell for
you up and down the Market Place？〃
〃Does father know？〃 Jeremy asked quickly。
〃He does；〃 answered Uncle Samuel。
Jeremy cast one last look around the place； the merry… go…round was
engaged once more upon its wild course； the horses rising and
falling； the golden woman clashing the cymbals； the minstrel
striking； with his dead eyes fixed upon space； his harp。 All about
men were shouting； the noise of the coconut stores； of the circus；
of the band； of the hucksters and the charlatans； the crying of
children； the laughter of womenall the noise of the Fair bathed
Jeremy up to his forehead。
He swam in it for the last time。 He tried to catch one last glimpse
of his coal…black charger； then； with a sigh； he said； turning to
his uncle： 〃I suppose we'd better be going。〃
〃Yes； I suppose we had；〃 said Uncle Samuel。
They threaded their way through the Fair； passed the wooden stile；
and were once again in the streets； dark and ancient under the moon；
with all the noise and glare behind them。 Jeremy was thinking to
himself： 〃It doesn't matter what Father does； or how angry he is；
that was worth it。〃 It was strange how little afraid he was。 Only a
year ago to be punished by his father had been a terrible thing。
Now； since his mother's illness in the summer； his father had seemed
to have no influence over him。
〃Did they bend you； or did you just come yourself； Uncle？〃 asked
Jeremy。
〃I happened to be taking the air in that direction；〃 said Uncle
Samuel。
〃I hope you didn't come away before you wanted to；〃 said Jeremy
politely。
〃I did not；〃 said his uncle。
〃Is Father very angry？〃 asked Jeremy。
〃It's more than likely he may be。 The Town Crier's expensive。〃
〃I didn't think they'd know；〃 explained Jeremy。 〃I meant to get back
in time。〃
〃Your father didn't go to church；〃 said Uncle Samuel。 〃So your sins
were quickly discovered。〃
Jeremy said nothing。
Just as they were climbing Orange Street he said：
〃Uncle Samuel； I think I'll be a horse…trainer。〃
〃Oh； will you？ 。 。 。 Well； before you train horses you've got to
train yourself。 Think of others beside yourself。 A fine state you've
put your mother into to…night。〃
Jeremy looked distressed。 〃She'd know if I was dead； someone would
come and tell her；〃 he said。 〃But I'll tell Mother I'm sorry。 。 。
But I won't tell Father；〃 he added。
〃Why not？〃 asked Uncle Samuel。
〃Because he'll make such a fuss。 And I'm not sorry。 He never told me
not to。〃
〃No； but you knew you hadn't to。〃
〃I'm very good at obeying；〃 explained Jeremy； 〃if someone says
something； but if someone doesn't； there isn't anyone to obey；〃
Uncle Samuel shook his head。 〃You'll be a bit of a prig； my son； if
you aren't careful；〃 he said。
〃I think it will be splendid to be a horse…trainer；〃 said Jeremy。
〃It was a lovely horse to…night。 。 。 And I only spent a shilling。 I
had three and threepence halfpenny。〃
At the door of their house Uncle Samuel stopped and said：
〃Look here； young man； they say it's time you went to school； and I
don't think they're far wrong。 There are things wiser heads than
yours can understand； and you'd better take their word for it。 In
the future； if you want to go running off somewhere； you'd better
content yourself with my studio and make a mess there。〃
〃Oh； may I？〃 cried Jeremy delighted。
That studio had been always a forbidden place to them； and had；
therefore； its air of enchanting mystery。
〃Won't you really mind my coming？〃 he asked。
〃I shall probably hate it；〃 answered his uncle； 〃but there's nothing
I wouldn't do for the family。〃
The boy walked to his father's study and knocked on the door。 He did
have then； at the sound of that knock； a moment of panic。 The house
was so silent； and he knew so well what would follow the opening of
the door。 And the worst of it was that he was not sorry in the
least。 He seemed to be indifferent and superior； as though no
punishment could touch him。
〃Come in！〃 said his father。
He pushed open the door and entered。 The scene that followed was
grave and sad； and yet； in the end； strangely unimpressive。 His
father talked too much。 As he talked Jeremy's thoughts would fly
back to the coal…black horse and to that moment when he had seemed
to fly into the very heart of the stars。
〃Ah； Jeremy； how could you？〃 said his father。 〃Is obedience nothing
to you？ Do you know how God punishes disobedience？ Think what a
terrible thing is a disobedient man！〃 Then on a lower scale： 〃I
really don't know what to do with you。 You knew that you were not to
go near that wicked place。〃
〃You never said〃 interrupted Jeremy。
〃Nonsense！ You knew well enough。 You will break your mother's
heart。〃
〃I'll tell her I'm sorry；〃 he interrupted quickly。
〃If you are really sorry〃 said his father。
〃I'm not sorry I went；〃 said Jeremy； 〃but I'm sorry I hurt Mother。〃
The end of it was that Jeremy received six strokes on the hand with
a ruler。 Mr。 Cole was not good at this kind of thing； and twice he
missed Jeremy's hand altogether； and looked very foolish。 It was not
an edifying scene。 Jeremy left the room； his head high； his spirit
obstinate； and his father remained； puzzled； distressed； at a loss；
anxious to do what was right； but unable to touch his son at all。
Jeremy went up to his room。 He opened hi
