jeremy-第28节

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again。　There　had　been　once　a　boy；　older　than　he；　called　Jimmy　Bain；
a　fat；　plump　boy；　who　had　lived　next　door　to　the　Coles。　Whenever　he
had　the　opportunity　he　bullied　Jeremy；　pinching　his　arms；　putting
pins　into　his　legs；　and　shouting　suddenly　into　his　ears。　Jeremy；　who
had　feared　Johnny　Bain；　had　always　〃felt〃　the　stout　youth's　arrival
before　he　appeared。　The　sky　had　seemed　to　darken；　the　air　to
thicken；　the　birds　to　gather　in　the　〃rooky〃　wood。

He　had　trembled　and　shaken；　his　teeth　had　chattered　and　his　throat
grown　dry　for　no　reason　at　all。　As　he　had　once　felt　about　Johnny
Bain　so　now　he　felt　about　life　in　general。　Something　horrible　was
going　to　happen。　。　。。　Something　to　do　with　Mother。　。　。。　As　he　came
up　the　road　to　their　house　his　heart　beat　so　that　he　could　not　hear
his　own　steps。




II


They　entered　the　house；　and　at　once　even　Mary；　preoccupied　as　she
was　with　her　story　about　the　sailor；　noticed　that　something　was
wrong。

〃Rose！　Rose！〃　she　called　out　loudly。

〃Hush！〃　said　Miss　Jones。　〃You　must　be　quiet；　dear。〃

〃Why？〃　said　Mary。　〃I　want　Rose　to〃

〃Your　mother　isn't　at　all　well；　dear。　I〃

And　she　was　interrupted　by　Rose；　who；　coming　suddenly　downstairs；
with　a　face　very　different　from　her　usual　cheerful　one；　said
something　to　Miss　Jones　in　a　low　voice。

Miss　Jones　gave　a　little　cry：　〃So　soon？　。　。　。　A　girl。　。　。　。〃　And
then　added：　〃How　is　she　？〃

Then　Rose　said　something　more；　which　the　children　could　not　catch；
and　vanished。

〃Very　quietly；　children；〃　said　Miss　Jones；　in　a　voice　that　trembled；
〃and　you　mustn't　leave　the　schoolroom　till　I　tell　you。　Your　mother
〃　She　broke　off　as　though　she　were　afraid　of　showing　emotion。

〃What　is　it？〃　said　Jeremy　in　a　voice　that　seemed　new　to　them　all
older；　more　resolute；　strangely　challenging　for　so　small　a　boy。

〃Your　mother's　very　ill；　Jeremy；　dear。　You　must　be　a　very　good　boy；
and　help　your　sisters。〃

〃Mightn't　I　go　for　just　a　minute？〃

〃No；　certainly　not。〃

They　all　went　upstairs。　Then；　in　the　schoolroom；　Miss　Jones　said　an
amazing　thing。　She　said：

〃I　must　tell　you　all；　children；　that　you've　got　a　new　little
sister。〃

〃A　new　sister！〃　screamed　Mary。

Helen　said：　〃Oh；　Miss　Jones！〃

Jeremy　said：　〃What　did　she　come　for　just　now；　when　Mother　is　ill？〃

〃God　wanted　her　to　come；　dear；〃　said　Miss　Jones。　〃You　must　all　be
very　kind　to　her；　and　do　all　you　can〃

She　was　interrupted　by　a　torrent　of　questions　from　the　two　girls。
What　was　she　like？　What　was　her　name？　Could　she　walk？　Where　did　she
come　from？　Did　Father　and　Mother　find　her　in　Drymouth？　And　so　on。
Jeremy　was　silent。　At　last　he　said：　〃We　don't　want　any　more　girls
here。〃

〃Better　than　having　another　boy；〃　said　Helen。

But　he　would　not　take　up　the　challenge。　He　sat　on　his　favourite　seat
on　the　window…ledge；　dragged　up　a　reluctant　Hamlet　to　sit　with　him；
and　gazed　out　down　into　the　garden　that　was　misty　now　in　the　evening
golden　light；　the　trees　and　the　soil　black　beneath　the　gold；　the
rooks　slowly　swinging　across　the　sty　above　the　farther　side　of　the
road。　Hamlet　wriggled。　He　always　detested　that　he　should　be　cuddled；
and　he　would　press　first　with　one　leg；　then　with　another；　against
Jeremy's　coat；　then　he　would　lie　dead　for　a　moment；　suddenly
springing；　with　his　head　up；　in　the　hope　that　the　surprise　would
free　him；　then　he　would　turn　into　a　snake；　twisting　his　body　under
Jeremy's　arm；　and　dropping　with　a　flop　on　to　the　floor。　All　these
manoeuvres　to…day　availed　him　nothing；　Jeremy　held　his　neck　in　a
vice；　and　dug　his　fingers　well　into　the　skin。　Hamlet　whined；　then
lay　still；　and；　in　the　midst　of　indignant　reflections　against　the
imbecile　tyrannies　of　man；　fell；　to　his　own　surprise；　asleep。

Jeremy　sat　there　whilst　the　dusk　fell　and　all　the　beautiful　lights
were　drawn　from　the　sky　and　the　rooks　went　to　bed。　Rose　came　to　draw
the　curtains；　and　then　he　left　his　window…seat；　dragged　out　his　toy
village　and　pretended　to　play　with　it。　He　looked　at　his　sisters。
They　seemed　quite　tranquil。　Helen　was　sewing；　and　Mary　deep　in　〃The
Pillars　of　the　House。〃　The　clock　ticked。　Hamlet；　lost　in　sleep；
snored　and　sputtered；　the　whole　world　pursued　its　ordinary　way。　Only
in　himself　something　was　changed；　he　was　unhappy；　and　he　could　not
account　for　his　unhappiness。　It　should　have　been　because　his　mother
was　ill；　and　yet　she　had　been　ill　before；　and　he　had　been　only
disturbed　for　a　moment。　After　all；　grown…up　people　always　got　well。
There　had　been　Aunt　Amy；　who　had　had　measles；　and　the　wife　of　the
Dean；　who　had　had　something；　and　even　the　Bishop　once。　。　。　But　now
he　was　frightened。　There　was　some　perception；　coming　to　him　now　for
the　first　time　in　his　life；　that　this　world　was　not　absolutely
stablethat　people　left　it；　people　came　into　it；　that　there　was
change　and　danger　and　something　stronger。　。　。　。　Gradually　this
perception　was　approaching　him　as　though　it　had　been　some　dark
figure　who　had　entered　the　house；　and　now；　with　muffled　step　and
veiled　face；　was　slowly　climbing　the　stairs　towards　him。　He　only
knew　that　his　mother　could　not　go；　she　could　not　go。　She　was　part　of
his　life；　and　she　would　always　be　so。　Why；　now；　when　he　thought　of
it；　he　could　do　nothing　without　his　mother；　every　day　he　must　tell
her　what　he　had　done　and　what　he　was　going　to　do；　must　show　her　what
he　had　acquired　and　must　explain　to　her　what　he　had　lost；　must　go　to
her　when　he　was　hurt　and　when　he　was　frightened　and　when　he　was
glad。　。　。　And　of　all　these　things　he　had　never　even　thought　until
now。

As　he　sat　there　the　house　seemed　to　grow　ever　quieter　and　quieter
about　him。　He　felt　as　though　he　would　have　liked　to　have　gone　to　the
schoolroom　door　and　listened。　It　was　terrible　imagining　the　house
behind　the　doorquite　silentso　that　the　clocks　had　stopped；　and
no　one　walked　upon　the　stairs　and　no　one　laughed　down　in　the　pantry。
He　wished　that　they　would　make　more　noise　in　the　schoolroom。　He
upset　the　church　and　the　orchard　and　Mrs。　Noah。

But　the　silence　after　the　noise　was　worse　than　ever。

Soon　Miss　Jones　took　the　two　girls　away　to　her　room　to　fit　on　some
clothes；　an　operation　which　Helen　adored　and　Mary　hated。　Jeremy　was
left　alone；　and　he　was；　at　once；　terribly　frightened。　He　knew　that
it　was　of　no　use　to　be　frightened；　and　he　tried　to　go　on　with　his
game；　putting　the　church　with　the　apple　trees　around　it　and　the　Noah
family　all　sleeping　under　the　trees；　but　at　every　moment　something
compelled　him　to　raise　his　head　and　see　that　no　one　was　there；　and
he　felt　so　small　and　so　lonely　that　he　would　like　to　have　hidden
under　something。

Then　when　he　thought　of　his　mother　all　alone　and　the　house　so　quiet
around　her　and　no　one　able　to　go　to　her　he　felt　so　miserable　that　he
turned　round　from　his　village　and　stared　desolately　into　the
fireplace。　The　thought　of　his　new　sister　came　to　him；　but　was
dismissed　impatiently。　He　did　not　want　a　new　sisterMary　and　Helen
were　trouble　enough　as　it　wasand　he　felt；　with　an　old　weary　air；
that　it　was　time；　indeed；　that　he　was　off　to　school。　Nothing　was　the
same。　Always　new　people。　Never　any　peace。

He　was　startled　by　the　sound　of　the　opening　door；　and；　turning；　saw
his　father。　His　father　and　he　were　never　very　easy　together。　Mr。
Cole　had　very　little　time　for　the　individual；　being　engaged　in
saving　souls　in　the　mass；　and　his　cheery；　good…tempered　Christianity
had　a　strange；　startling　fashion　of　proving　unavailing　before　some
single　human　case。

He　did　not　understand　children　except　when　they　were　placed　in
masses　before　him。　His　own　children；　having　been　named；　on　their
arrival；　〃Gifts　from　God；〃　had　kept　much　of　that　incorporeal
atmosphere　throughout　their　growing　years。

But　to…night　he　was　a　different　man。　As　he　looked　at　his　small　son
across　the　schoolroom　floor　there　was　terror　in　his　eyes。　Nothing
could　have　been　easier　or　more　simple　than　his　lifelong　assumption
that；　because　God　was　in　His　heaven　all　was　right　with　the　world。　He
had　given　thanks　every　evening　for　the　blessings　that　he　had
received　and　every　morning　for　the　blessings　that　he　was　going　to
receive；　and　he　had　had　no　reason　to　complain。　He　had　the　wife；　the
children；　the　work　that　he　deserved；　and　his　life　had　been　so　hemmed
in　with　security　that　he　had　had　no　difficulty　in　assuring　his
congregation　on　every　possible　occasion　that　God　was　good　and　far…
seeing；　and　that　〃not　one　sparrow　。　。　。〃

And　now　lie　was　threatenedthreatened　most　desperately。　Mrs。　Cole
was　so　ill　that　it　was　doubtful　whether　she　would　live　through　the
night。　He　was　completely　helpless。　He　had　turned　from　one　side　to
another；　simply　demanding　an　assurance　from　someone　or　something
that　she　could　not　be　taken　from　him。　No　one　could　give　him　that
assurance。　Life　without　her　would　be　impossible；　he　would　not　know
what　to　do　about　the　simplest　matter。　Life　without　her。　。　。oh！　but
it　was　incredible！

Like　a　blind　man　he　had　groped　his　way　up　to　the　schoolroom。　He　did
not　want　to　see　the　children；　nor　Miss　Jones；　but　he　must　be　moving；
must　be　doing　something　that　would　break　in　upon　that　terrible
ominous　pause　that　the　whole　world　seemed　to　him；　at　this　moment；　to
be　making。

Then　he　saw　Jeremy。　He　said：

〃Oh！　　　Where's　Miss　Jones？〃

〃S