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第25节

jeremy-第25节

小说: jeremy 字数: 每页4000字

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and the first plunge into the stares of the critical guests might be
over。 But he did not really care。 His hatred of Aunt Amy braced him
up; when one was capable of so fine and manly an emotion as this
hatred; one need not bother about fellow…guests。 Then the jingle
stopped outside a house immediately opposite the great west…end door
of the Cathedral; in the little hall Miss Maddison was standing; and
from the glittering garden behind her the sun struck through the
house into the shadowed street。

Jeremy's public manners were; when he pleased; quite beautiful〃the
true; old…fashioned courtesy;〃 gushing friends of the Cole family
used to say。 He was preparing to be very polite now; when suddenly
the voice of the Dean's Ernest ordering people about in the garden
struck upon his ear。 He had not seen the Dean's Ernest for nearly
three months; for the very good reason that that gentleman had been
experiencing his first term at his private school。 Last year young
Ernest and Jeremy had been; on the whole; friendly; although Ernest;
who was nine; and strong for his age; had always patronised。 And
now? Jeremy longed to inform his friend that he also shortly would
proceed to school; that in another six months' time there would be
practically no difference between them。 Nevertheless; at the present
moment there was a difference。 。 。 Ernest had a whole term to his
credit。

New arrivals gently insinuated the Cole family into the garden。
Helen; proud and cold; Mary; blinking and nervous; stood pressed
close together whilst other little girls stared and giggled; moved
forward and then backward again; until suddenly Canon Lasker's
Emily; who was fifteen and had such long legs that she was known as
〃the Giraffe;〃 came up and said: 〃Isn't it hot! Do you play croquet?
Please…do! I'll havetheblue ball。 。 。〃 And the Coles were
initiated。

Meanwhile; Aunt Amy had said: 〃Now; Jeremy; dear; run about and make
friends。〃 Which so deeply infuriated him that he choked。 Oh!
supposing the Dean's Ernest had heard her! 。 。 。

And he had! A mocking voice behind him said: 〃Now; Jeremy; dear〃

Jeremy turned round and beheld the Dean's Ernest mockingly waiting
his retort。 And he could not retort。 No words would come; and he
could only stand there; his cheeks flushed; aware that Ernest had
grown and grown during those three months; that he wore a straw hat
with a black…and…red ribbon upon it; that round his long ugly neck
was a stiff white collar; and across his waistcoat a thick silver
watch…chain。

〃Hallo!〃 said Jeremy。

〃Hallo!〃 said the new Ernest scornfully。

A long pause。

Then Ernest; turning on his heel; said to someone behind him: 〃Let's
get away from all these girls!〃 The tears burnt in Jeremy's eyes;
hot and salt。 He clenched his fists and gazed upon a garden that
swam in a mist of tears and sunlight。 He felt a sudden strange
impulse of family affection。 He would like to have gathered behind
him his father and mother; Mary; Helen; Hamlet; Uncle Samuelyes;
and even Aunt Amy; arid to have advanced not only upon Ernest; but
upon the whole Dean's family。 It would have given him great pleasure
to have set his teeth into the fat legs of the Dean himself; he
would gladly have torn the hat from the head of Mrs。 Dean。 。 。 Upon
Ernest there was no torture he would not employ。

He would get even; he resolved that before he left that house he
would have his revenge。

Kind Miss Maddison; tripping along and seeing him as a pathetic
little boy in a sailor suit without guile or malice; swept him into
an 〃I spy〃 party composed for the most part of small girls who fell
down and cried and said they would go home。

Jeremy; hiding behind a tree; watched the thin back of Ernest as it
lifted itself autocratically above two small boys who looked up to
him with saucer…eyes。 Ernest was obviously talking about his school。
Jeremy; lost in the contemplation of his vengeance; forgot his game;
and was taken prisoner with the greatest of ease。 He did not care。
The afternoon was spoilt for him。 He was not even hungry。 Why could
he not go to school to…morrow; and then challenge Ernest to combat?
But he might challenge Ernest without going to school。 。 。 He had
never fought a real fight; but the sight of his enemy's thin; peaky
body was encouraging。

〃Now; Jeremy; dear;〃 said Miss Maddison; 〃it's your turn to
hide。 。 。〃

Soon they all went in to tea。 Everyone was thoroughly at home by
this time; and screamed and shouted quite in the most natural manner
in the world。 The long table stretched down the whole room; almost
from wall to wall; the sunlight played in pools and splashes upon
the carpet and the flowers and the pictures。 There was every sort of
thing to eatthin bread…and…butter rolled up into little curly
sandwiches; little cakes and big cakes; seed cakes and sugar cakes;
and; of course; saffron buns; jam in little shining dishes; and hot
buttered toast so buttery that; it dripped on to your fingers。

Jeremy sat next to Mary; and behind him hovered Aunt Amy。 Only half
an hour ago how this would have angered him! To have her interfering
with him; saying: 〃Not two at a time; Jeremy;〃 or 〃Pass the little
girl the sugar; Jeremyremember your manners。〃 or 〃Not so big a
piece; Jeremy。〃 But nowhe did not know。 。 。 She was one of the
family; and he felt as though the Dean's Ernest had scorned her as
well as himself。 Also Mary。 He felt kind to Mary; and when she
whispered 〃Are you enjoying it; Jeremy?〃 he answered 〃Yes; are you?〃
Not because he was really enjoying it; but because he knew that she
wanted him to say that。

He could see Ernest from where he sat; and he knew that Ernest was
laughing at him。 He remembered that he had given Ernest three
splendid marbles; just before his departure to school; as a
keepsake。 How he wished that he had kept them! He would never give
Ernest anything again except blows。 Mary might be tiresome
sometimes; but she was his sister; and he greatly preferred her as a
girl to Ernest's sisters。 He could see them now; greedy; ugly
things。 。 。

〃Now; Jeremy; wipe your mouth;〃 said Aunt Amy。

He obeyed at once。




III


Tea over; they all trooped out into the garden again。 The evening
light now painted upon the little green lawn strange trembling
shadows of purple and grey; the old red garden wall seemed to have
crept forwards; as though it would protect the house and the garden
from the night; and a sky of the faintest blue seemed; with gentle
approval; to bless the quiet town fading into dusk beneath it。 Over
the centre of the lawn the sun was still shining; and there it was
warm and light。 But from every side the shadows stealthily crept
forward。 A group of children played against the golden colour; their
white dresses patterns that formed figures and broke and formed
again。 The Cathedral bell was ringing for evensong; and its notes
stole about the garden; and in and out amongst the children; as
though some guardian spirit watching over their safety counted their
numbers。

Jeremy; feeling rather neglected and miserable; stood in the shadow
near the oak on the farther side of the lawn。 He did not want to
play with those little girls; and yet he was hurt because he had not
been asked。 The party had been a most miserable failure; and a year
ago it would have been such a success。 He did not know that he was
standing now; in the middle of his eighth year; at the parting of
the ways; that only yesterday he had been a baby; and that he would
never be a baby again。 He did not feel his independencehe felt
only inclined to tears and a longing; that he would never; never
confess; even to himself; that someone should come and comfort him!
Nevertheless; even at this very moment; although he did not know it;
he; a free; independent man; was facing the world for the first time
on his own legs。 His mother might have realised it had she been
therebut she was not。 Mary; however; was there; and in the very
middle of her game; searching for him; as she was always doing; she
found him desolate under the shadow of the oak。 She slipped away;
and; coming up to him with the shyness and fear that she always had
when she approached him; because she loved him so much and he could
so easily hurt her; said:

〃Aren't you coming to play; Jeremy?〃

〃I don't care;〃 he answered gruffly。

〃It isn't any fun without you。〃 She paused; and added: 〃Would you
mind if I stayed here too?〃

〃I'd rather you played;〃 he said; and yet he was comforted by her;
determined; as he was; that she should never know it!

〃I'd rather stay;〃 she said; and then gazed; with that melancholy
stare through her large spectacles that always irritated Jeremy; out
across the garden。

〃I'm all right;〃 he said again; 〃only my stocking tickles; and I
can't get at itit's the back of my leg。 I say; Mary; don't you
hate the Dean's Ernest?〃

〃Yes; I do;〃 she answered fervently; although she had not thought
about him at allenough for her that Jeremy should hate him! Then
she gasped: 〃Here he comes〃

He was walking towards them with a swagger of his long yellow neck
and his thin leggy body that Jeremy found especially offensive。
Jeremy 〃bristled;〃 and Mary was consc

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